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Archive #2 of User talk:SPIKE for 2014

edit The Qu'ran

Better yet: Don't let someone who can neither sign, register, or spell tell you what you can and can't make fun of. Genius. --Lucifuge Rofacale (talk) 23:50, February 25, 2014 (UTC)

edit NotM

I think the rule says that when a nominee reaches +5 score, he automatically becomes NotM. So TheDarthMoogle should also be one, right? I can give it to him. Anton (talk) 16:30, March 2, 2014 (UTC)

This recent rules change coincides with the renaming of NotM given that nothing was happening on a monthly basis. I don't mind, but he won't care, as he loudly resigned in the middle of last year. (See Sec. 19 of his talk page and the linked-to blog.) Editing here wasn't enough of a reward for him and getting pestered to go offsite was a punishment.
Separately, thanks again for reinvigorating VFP, which Romartus has helped organize. I'm going to be a non-participant, however, as it costs extra for me to look at photos and, in any case, text is my specialty. Spıke Ѧ 16:38 2-Mar-14

I see! Even in the deopp forum, it was noticed that article writing was one of your strong points! And I'll give TheDarthMoogle the award. It may even encourage him to return. Anton (talk) 16:43, March 2, 2014 (UTC)

It is not like we have to go buy extra bronze to mint these medals. Spıke Ѧ 16:48 2-Mar-14

edit Racial Identity Disorders

As the most recently active admin, you're it :)

We've had a complaint about Racial Identity Disorders, saying it's racist and offensive rather than funny. In particular, they mention the section "African Americans and RIDs". Please can you check the article and decide whether it is suitable for Uncyclopedia. I don't need to know the results of your assessment, just keep/delete/edit as needed. Thanks -- sannse@Wikia (talk) 01:13, March 5, 2014 (UTC) (p.s. remember I will probably miss a reply here, but you know how to reach me if you need to :)

The article is the sole contribution of 2006 Uncyclopedian Lemmy Winks. Development since 2006 mostly centers on the photo captions. The theme is racial self-identification, especially self-mis-identification, and it has a few good lines, such as whether "Oreos" really taste good. Provocative but neither our worst nor gratuitously offensive. Nor is it clear that it pursues offense above pursuing humor. In the unlikely case you are reading this, your complainant is welcome to this page to discuss it further--or to edit the article himself. Wider opinion at Votes for deletion is one option. Spıke Ѧ 01:28 5-Mar-14
I have done a complete copy-edit of the article. There is now no gratuitous offense to the races apart from the stereotyping involved in imagining "patients" who adopt the wrong one. Spıke Ѧ 02:04 5-Mar-14

edit Signature

Seeing how no one else is going to admire your signature, I shall put in a word with, "Oh my god, I never thought Spike would ever change his signature ever. It always has been and always will be!!!" Also I might change mine I still don't like the colour. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:07, March 7, 2014 (UTC)

But last month I toyed with using an image (a non-starter, as I usually can't see it), then dictated a font that was guaranteed to include the dotless "i". Yesterday's play is based on learning about linear-gradient in CSS, now also visible in {{Writing funny stuff}}. Lots of people toy with their signatures; just remember to write funny stuff. Spıke Ѧ 18:16 7-Mar-14
Wait, am I blind, or have the blue disappeared completely from your signature? Anton (talk) 19:57, March 7, 2014 (UTC)
I coded not just the above but -moz-linear-gradient to cover browsers done when this was not yet part of the standard but a Mozilla proprietary extension; that is, Mozilla 4.0. If you are running something even earlier, you might not see either shade of blue in the gradient. Sheesh, I thought I was the dinosaur here. Spıke Ѧ 02:39 8-Mar-14
Oh, I do see it now, even if my browser hasn't changed since yesterday. Strange... Anton (talk) 12:09, March 8, 2014 (UTC)
Oh, I looked at the history and saw that you did it for me! Thank you, I am so flattered! Anton (talk) 12:12, March 8, 2014 (UTC)
Oh I see now why I thought Spike had changed his signature. On my screen too, I saw simply the yellow outline without the blue. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:15, March 8, 2014 (UTC)
I hope the combination of background: ... !important and background-color: now gives all viewers the cutest rendition they can actually see. I had better apply the same thing to {{Writing funny stuff}}. Spıke Ѧ 14:58 8-Mar-14

edit Linear gradient

Experimentation with {{LinearGradient}}
that ScottPat might find useful
for his signature, as it uses his three favourite colours [sic]...except that of course he won't be able to see anything but the red. Spıke Ѧ 01:52 14-Mar-14

Thanks! I'll give it a go sometime! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 06:32, March 14, 2014 (UTC)
Memo: PuppyOnTheRadio made this template work with more browsers and added documentation Spıke Ѧ 15:22 2-Apr-14

edit American Revolution (Part 2)

I still don't like the infobox. The seal picture granted is funny, deserves to be in the article but maybe not there. Also the writing in the infobox is random and not that funny, not that encyclopedic, just babyish and full of boring, unoriginal stereotypes. Perhaps add some unusual stereotypes. What I always love doing is relating the events in a history article to the present, subtly but in a way to say, "Oh look we forgot to learn from this history and we made the same mistake again" so maybe try some of that in the article. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:13, March 7, 2014 (UTC)

I improved the Infobox somewhat but agree with what you say, and that the approach you describe is the best take on History articles. My work was primarily to write two new sections and to make the original theme, the goofy "revolution" of the continent with lever and fulcrum, a little less goofy, though it is an additional sore thumb. You are welcome to dig in and improve it further. Spıke Ѧ 18:19 7-Mar-14
I will try when I can Spike. Thanks for the hard work. (continues below) Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:31, March 7, 2014 (UTC)

edit WP:Talk:Uncyclopedia

SPIKE that comment was not directed at was directed at the trouble makers who started the revert war. The block of text which you've written about the fork and and your conflict of interest ... is only going to make the conflict of interest case seem far worse and it's going to solidify the wikipedia editors' idea that this is an inter-site war rather than one of wanting the best article possible for uncyclopedia. I'm going to clarify my post on the talk page. I'd recommend the same. --The preceding unsigned comment was added by Shabidoo (talk • contribs) 15:55, March 5, 2014 (UTC)

I didn't take anything you wrote personally, only used your remark about waste of time as a segue to other aspects of this episode. The conflict-of-interest gambit was raised exclusively by the Forkers. I stated that they seek to use Wikipedia as one tool to augment their site statistics. It does not make me look bad to state the truth. Nor do I care. If you want to keep this from looking like an inter-site war, talk to your troublemakers and tell them to mind their business, as we mind ours. Spıke Ѧ 16:16 5-Mar-14
Sigh. --ShabiDOO 16:45, March 5, 2014 (UTC)
It may go all the way to the World Court of Website Addresses (The Vague, Netherlands). --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 17:25, March 5, 2014 (UTC)
The "Vague" - I like that! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:07, March 7, 2014 (UTC)

...I have been reading through the wikipedia talk page and fully agree with your position. A conversation about another users removal of info claiming it wasn't backed up has been completely misinterpreted by spooners as you removing info on the spoon and has caused all kind of hatred. I do think a coordinated effort needs to be put in place on updating the history section of the article as it does appear to say that nothing much has happened since 2008 bar the spoon. I realise this may be hard to get across to the wikipedians who don't care and simply assume an irrelevant argument is being expanded into wikipedia. Unfortunately I have no wikipedia account and have no intention of getting one, even if I joined in it would only worsen the situation but well done for sticking up for the truth! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:31, March 7, 2014 (UTC)

I did remove information; namely, the information on the rationale for last year's insurrection, to satisfy David Gerard and Beetstra's claim that there was no evidence of it apart from the rebels' own statements. (Our own Simsie provided a citation, but it turned out to have the identical problem.)
You can see on my talk page there that the attempt to get me to "choose a more tranquil life" by unwatching that article goes way back before the current round, in which they try to pry me away with formal charges. Before the new guy's substantial edit of the page, I had made their history of Uncyclopedia more concise. Wikipedia's perennial focus, and the original emphasis of the current debate, is notability; a great lot of our history is not history to anyone other than us, and never made the newspapers. Any really coherent explanation of anything is attacked as "original research," meaning that spending a lot of time editing is not as enjoyable as it is here. Spıke Ѧ 19:14 7-Mar-14
This is Spoon Wiki. The other one is Fork Wiki ScottPat --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 22:54, March 7, 2014 (UTC)
To Romartus: I'm sure I said that the other way round. Even so, both are spoons now. Just we're a soup spoon. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 07:00, March 8, 2014 (UTC)

edit UN:REQ award from 2012 but you're getting it now anyway...

Thumbs up2

This user created Scarlet fever, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles. Good for them us!
(If awarding yourself please update the award statistics)

Oh and by the way, I aim to keep this page maintained and up to date. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 23:59, March 7, 2014 (UTC)

I did what? Oh, that one! Not originally about scarlet fever at all, just an article that was tagged "too short," but when the old Scarlet fever article was VFD'd, I saw my chance and I took it. Good to know that {{Reqaward}} is another venerable Uncyclopedia institution that is springing back to life. Spıke Ѧ 02:38 8-Mar-14

edit IPod, IPod Car...

As concerns the possible problem with the main page, I made a reskin myself: it is at User:Anton199/IPod Car reskin and could you please check it out? Thanks! Anton (talk) 15:42, March 8, 2014 (UTC)

This mock-up does demonstrate how it could fit on the main page. But I still think the article belongs in our nonexistent UnSalesBrochures project: How is it funnier than our usual encyclopedic description of the development of this product to use the alternate persona of the protagonist himself? For example, the protagonist is never going to admit that his effort is absurd, while the encyclopedia-article writer is free to, using either blunt or subtle humor. Spıke Ѧ 16:37 8-Mar-14

Well, I think it will be pretty obvious that the protagonist's efforts are absurd even from what he says, and especially from what he says. This just another way of showing it, and I don't think it is worse than the ones you mentioned, only less encyclopaedic. Anton (talk) 16:43, March 8, 2014 (UTC)

Yes, it could work; no, it isn't optimal. I cannot imagine how to take Cracker Jack in each of the directions it takes if I had chosen to put it in the voice of the inventor. Spıke Ѧ 16:53 8-Mar-14

edit I'm here so infrequently...

That I now forget how to do everything. I was trying to archive and moved my page to somewhere stupid instead. Now I can't even remember how to revert my error. A helping hand for a humbled retard,?--Sog1970 (talk) 18:44, March 8, 2014 (UTC)

Sorry, I fixed it. Anton (talk) 18:54, March 8, 2014 (UTC)
"Sorry" - for having fixed it without being Spike. Anton (talk) 18:54, March 8, 2014 (UTC)
You wish you were me Spıke Ѧ 19:00 8-Mar-14
Everyone is here so infrequently. Consequently, it is easy to look at Special:RecentChanges, which is a log of everything that has happened on the wiki, to see what you did that you can't remember. Glad Anton was able to fix it up. Spıke Ѧ 19:00 8-Mar-14
I see! it is not that you are here so infrequently. About a year ago, they added a new input field to the interface, a pulldown menu of userspaces. You specified the User: space, both using this input field (by default, since it was the userspace the page in question came from) and explicitly; and got a page name in User:User:. It trips me up all the time. Spıke Ѧ 19:03 8-Mar-14
PS--Anton intercedes — then has to appeal to me at QVFD to clean up the by-products. Damned helpful. Spıke Ѧ 19:05 8-Mar-14
You are certainly welcome! :-) Anton (talk) 20:03, March 8, 2014 (UTC)

edit Nuisances in need of administering

edit Gabriel Turner

In response to your remark regarding my report: yes, this is me turning myself in again as originally but subtly implied. You hence owe me another ban. Gabriel Turner (talk) 23:55, March 8, 2014 (UTC)

What is it with you? (Do not reply during your ban.) We Admins are duty bound to monitor Ban Patrol for user reports of incivility, and remedy it even at the cost of getting in the middle of a conflict. To use this to get people to pay attention to you (and not for the first time) requires a ban, longer than the one that Frosty gave you the last time, and preferably long enough to get you to stop doing it, and return to writing funny stuff and to let others do likewise. Spıke Ѧ 01:20 9-Mar-14

edit Wakkoswish123

Unban me please....I'm that User:Wakkoswish123 dude. It's been several months since the ban. I've changed since then. Please unban me if you think I should be unbanned. -- 22:53, March 15, 2014 (UTC)

I do not remember whether you are a furry or an anti-furry, but I do remember that, at the end of each of your previous bans, you made a bee-line for Furry and proceeded not to make anyone laugh but to state your case again. Indeed I think it is less likely that you have grown a desire to write humor and have elected to do it here, but that you want restored access to the same page to write the same rant. Spıke Ѧ 23:06 15-Mar-14

I'm not gonna make the same mistakes. (seriously. Also that furry article seems like a rant.) -- 04:09, March 16, 2014 (UTC)

edit Skullbaron

[On] Chuck Norris facts in how to:get banned....Even the point which mentions "link every word in a sentence to goa tse" has every word actually linked to goa tse so I guess joke is better this way for Chuck Norris facts too The preceding unsigned comment was added by Skullbaron (talk • contribs)

You have been banned by Romartus for "sockpuppetry." I was going to ban you myself for reverting Mimo and reasserting your edit after I explained things to you. Goodbye. Spıke Ѧ 11:57 16-Mar-14

edit Mecca

Sorry, I just discovered that my edit was too late! Anton (talk) 18:51, March 10, 2014 (UTC)

Exchanging the two photos is still an improvement. Spıke Ѧ 19:17 10-Mar-14

edit Linux

Hey SPIKE, just wanted to thank you for the warm welcome. I think the next thing I'll be tackling is the "SteamOS" page. After that, I might ask to have a bash at the Linux page itself (seems a little weird to have Linux, Uncyclux and Command Line all resolve to the same page). Barbariandude (talk) 15:35, March 11, 2014 (UTC)

The Linux article is nothing but a pointer to Command line because we do not have a real article on Linux. And you are nominated. Spıke Ѧ 18:46 11-Mar-14

That was fun. Will probably do some expansion on it tomorrow. Like it? Barbariandude (talk) 13:57, March 12, 2014 (UTC)

Sorry, I have been busy beating back the website's vandals. I did notice SteamOS and took the liberty of adding it to the {{Unix}} navigation template. Spıke Ѧ 14:00 12-Mar-14
Linux looks like a real article! The latter sections are choppy; I recommend that you take each topic and flesh it out with some more text. At the extreme are lists of one-liners, and the risk there is that anonymous hackers add cruft to them, overnight, every night. I do not like one of your techniques, which is to use irony and state the exact opposite of the truth, as again, it assumes your audience knows exactly what you know about the history of Linux. As an MS-DOS maven, I can only assume such passages will be laugh riots to someone — but not necessarily our actual audience, whom I admit I have never met. Rather than imagining how fun it will be for two of your co-workers, see what we have to recommend about additional advanced techniques and clever choices of words to goose it for any arbitrary reader. Cheers! Spıke Ѧ 14:32 12-Mar-14
Sounds reasonable. Will flesh it out either tomorrow or late tonight (still got stuff to do at work) and see if I can make it more accessible. Barbariandude (talk) 14:54, March 12, 2014 (UTC)

edit Thanks for some back-up

I didn't want to start another climax in a high-tension moment but as a spoon had decided to brag about how it was so much better and I thought I might as well explain to them why wikia haven't brainwashed us and that it's our own decision. It comes down to comedy tastes really. Anyway I added five more points because I hadn't the time this morn. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:18, March 11, 2014 (UTC)

Hey, don't think I don't see it! You are certainly allowed to ruin the forums I make, but discussing your achievement behind my back right after that... I would have never expected that of you! Bye, I am going to work on biology (which is not my favourite science, by the way). Anton (talk) 19:40, March 11, 2014 (UTC)
Anton, I have clarified my views on your talk page, I did not intend to oppose your idea and wasn't really talking about your idea (maybe I should have done a seperate forum) I was simply responding to other users' views on the spoon (full apology on your talk page). Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 20:11, March 11, 2014 (UTC)
PS - The above original comment was a talk about a user on the spoon bragging about it being better than us, not you. I'm sorry if you thought that we were refering to you. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 20:13, March 11, 2014 (UTC)

edit UnNews:Talking lion recruits child soldiers

What do you think of this?....I've never written an UnNews item before so feel free to make any suggestions for improvement. I personally think it's featurable. --Lucifuge Rofacale (talk) 16:48, March 12, 2014 (UTC)

Well-written; it needed a few tweaks to fit the house style (see UnNews:Style). Always add {{Original}}, as I have now done, when you aren't basing it on a real news story. The website main page is not my department; I did not rush to put it on the UnNews Front Page as I'm not sure if it will appeal to Front Page readers, as there is no basis in current events. Spıke Ѧ 17:02 12-Mar-14
I will have a look. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 17:05, March 12, 2014 (UTC)

Thanks very much. It's actually based on a true story, namely a member of the EDL carrying this sign: --Lucifuge Rofacale (talk) 00:24, March 13, 2014 (UTC)

The thing about UnNews is to base it on news, not on blogs on "idiots." Your UnNews seems like fun, as it ascribes evil motives to the Narnia characters and does take the form of a news release. It's less fun knowing that it can be read as a slap at people you disagree with, no matter how amusing their stupidity--as I also said about Spıke Ѧ 01:37 13-Mar-14

Okay. I just saw that reference to EDL supporters saying "Do Not Submit To Aslan" on Russell Howard's Good News and decided to turn it into an UnNews item. --Lucifuge Rofacale (talk) 03:33, March 13, 2014 (UTC)

I think that's not so much a basis for your UnNews (as in: If you want a cracked version of News X, here is Y) but the inspiration (as in: Here's the X that made my mind think of Y). That's good stuff for the talk page, but most UnNewses have a basis (or say they don't with {{Original}}). Spıke Ѧ 01:52 14-Mar-14
Anyway, it is now on the Front Page. Spıke Ѧ 15:12 14-Mar-14

Do you think it could be feature? --Lucifuge Rofacale (talk) 08:57, March 30, 2014 (UTC)

We are in the era of self-nomination, and you are free to do so. I famously prefer UnNewses that are more closely bound to actual news. Spıke Ѧ 12:56 30-Mar-14

edit 1990s

As you may know, I am in the process of improving the 1990s article. However, I'm not really knowledgable when it comes to the culture of that decade. Do you know anybody who is, and could perhaps add some more content to the article? I want it to be a parody of the typical "90s kid" who thinks he's "old" and hates the children of today because they have "nothing good to speak of."--EpicWinner (talk) 01:32, March 15, 2014 (UTC)

You've asked me this before. The '90s are a blur. If I were to sum them up, I'd have to go to the library and look at old newspapers on microfilm. Romartus or Simsilikesims might have more vivid memories. I did not have sex with that woman, Monica Lewinsky. Spıke Ѧ 01:36 15-Mar-14

How does the article look now? Do you think I should try to shorten the list of 90s shows? I know there are a lot (and I mean A LOT) of shows from that time period that are fondly remembered today, but not all of them have Uncyc articles.--EpicWinner (talk) 02:46, March 16, 2014 (UTC)

Jeezus! Why did you ask me? your memory is much more vivid than mine. Code the quote the way we do them (with {{Q}}), resequence the initial photo to take up the white space, ditch the footnotes in the Intro — you are wisecracking to yourself and probably before you have engaged the reader — and take care to avoid pissing off readers before they finish the Intro, even "niggas." You have two huge lists. These should be expanded into at least a paragraph on each show (funny, not just a snide personal opinion the way some Anons do) or deleted; probably a little of both. You are not imagining how many Anons will add stupid crap to these lists if left in their current shape. If a single show is expanded to article length and is too obscure to attract readers, then either your writing should do so, or you should not waste time trying; in which case, merely listing its title isn't funny. Apart from all that nitpicking, it is a heroic effort. Spıke Ѧ 03:06 16-Mar-14
No offense, but why is {{Q}} used in intros rather than {{Nicequote}}? Personally, I think it looks hideous and unprofessional (though I guess it's a matter of opinion). As for pissing off readers, the article is meant to parody nostalgia-blind "90s kids" (or, as I like to call them, "defeners"), the ones who say stupid shit like: "When I was a kid, we actually PLAYED OUTSIDE," "There are NO GOOD CARTOONS THESE DAYS!" "12 yr. olds these days twerk, get pregnant, drink, smoke, swear, and kill others. No wonder this generation sucks. When I was a kid, we respected our elders," "We had NSYNC, not Justine GAYber," "Kids today don't know the Beatles and Queen, they only know One Erection" or "Back in MY day, we had GOOD rappers like Biggie and Tupac who rapped about REAL ISSUES, not stupid n-words like Kangay West and Lil Gayne who rap about money, bitches, and guns. The only good rappers now are white ones like Eminem and Macklemore (no I'm not a racist)." So, that's why the humor of the article is offensive/irreverent.--EpicWinner (talk) 03:42, March 16, 2014 (UTC)

edit UCL

Good revert on this article. Just popped by to say that "plummeting down the league table" almost certainly refers to University academic league tables not sporting league tables. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:35, March 15, 2014 (UTC)

Thanks; surely Anon wanted to deliver his slap — before all else — rather than study the author's apparent comedy plan. Spıke Ѧ 20:10 15-Mar-14

edit User:Alpacwriter/Muhammad: The Authentic Biography

I am quite worried by this article. I feel that it reads more as a memish Islamic hate article than a comedy article. I have attempted to make the intro sound a little less offensive. Also the title is one that no one would look up. Perhaps better for UnBooks. I do like the idea of a picture story of Muhammad's life with more humour in though. For example the "Shit be upon him" sounds offensive unless you explain that the living conditions of the time meant that there was very few baths around and that this may have been an occurence. It is the start of something that could be a good article but is almost bordering on downright offensive now. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 10:12, March 16, 2014 (UTC)

Good observation; I'll reply on author's talk page. Spıke Ѧ 11:57 16-Mar-14
Memo: Ultimately we userspaced it, to the name shown above; author went on to write an article that is much better. Spıke Ѧ 22:48 18-Mar-14

edit Eddie

I dunno, I lollol at the IP's Ed Gein quote. Ed Gein Jr. 23:18 16-3-14

Link, please? Spıke Ѧ 23:21 16-Mar-14

On the Ed Gein page, IP addition:

~ Police Officer on entering Gein's home.
No, sorry, unnamed police officer says WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK in an article that already had quotes attributed to someone. This is Anon entertaining himself. Stays out. At best, punch line before joke. You laughed out loud only because you already knew the joke. Spıke Ѧ 23:29 16-Mar-14
and did you look at the pic I put on QVFD? even if on user space maybe it should be deep-sixed quickly. Aleister 23:20 16-3-14
Of course I did not! I'll look now. Better us than Wikia. Spıke Ѧ 23:21 16-Mar-14
Memo: This photo, of butchering of camels in Arabia, I deleted according to the warning shown on Special:Upload; author later uploaded something less offensive to be "Muhammad's birthplace." Spıke Ѧ 22:48 18-Mar-14

edit Poopsmith Nick123

edit Bugs

Um, ok... So, I went to the village dump, and then I noticed I was logged out. I then tried logging in but when I did my userpage had no text for some reason. And then I went to the VFD and saw it was very very different. Then I closed, re-opened and now it's fine. The. Fuck. Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 20:32, March 18, 2014 (UTC)

History shows your user page has had no changes except for Anton199 adding a nomination graphic. It has just been the three of us today on your user talk page. There have been a flurry of vandals, a return from a ban of a user pursuing an offsite grudge, an inept user who just wanted to add interwiki links to foreign articles, and a lot of just really bad editing; very hard to sort out. The software is under continual revision, lately mostly to take advantage of the trend toward mobile, and it could have screwed up (I don't know because I've been in town doing errands), but it sounds like the hiccup was on your end. Spıke Ѧ 22:45 18-Mar-14
Upon further review, it seems you were tricked into visiting an imitation Uncyclopedia, and I would be intrigued to know the exact sequence of actions you took that got you there. Spıke Ѧ 23:47 18-Mar-14
Ah... All I know is I was at Village Dump and found myself here: Also, according to my email:

MediaWiki Mail 7:24 AM (8 hours ago)

to me Dear Nick123,

There has been an edit to a page you are watching on Uncyclopedia.

See *link* the current version.


  • link*

to view this change.


  • link*

for all changes since your last visit.

The summary of the edit is: "/* Bloc Party */ new section"

Please visit and edit often...

Your friendly neighbourhood stalkers,


That is not Uncyclopedia. No sir! Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 13:55, March 19, 2014 (UTC)

They call themselves that; and they have no business plan that does not involve making us fail. My approach is to just look ahead and continue doing what we do. Spıke Ѧ 14:09 19-Mar-14
Do you know about them? Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 14:13, March 19, 2014 (UTC)
Yes; see just above. Anyone has the right to take a copy of our encyclopedia. I wish they would not try to take our good people as well. Spıke Ѧ 14:19 19-Mar-14
I know Aleister's an active member on there. Also, that is a rather stupid and nooby thing to do. Jealous much? Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 14:20, March 19, 2014 (UTC)
Don't know how they got your email. There is also a "mirror" website that is in the business of holding copies of articles even after we vote to delete them; and a spectrum of other humor wikis that operate with the same MediaWiki software that we use; and other humor sites that are not wikis. I hope for us to be the site that is most interesting to a new reader. Spıke Ѧ 14:42 19-Mar-14
I would always prefer the real deal to the stupid knock-off. Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 14:45, March 19, 2014 (UTC)
That was an e-mail sent automatically (when I was an editor of that other Uncyclopedia, I received such e-mails when edits were made to the pages I was following). If they wanted to get you on their side, they would have sent something like "Hello Nick123! You have just made an edit to an abandoned wiki (" or something like this. But they don't do it. Your e-mail probably means that you accidentally logged in at their site and added a page to your watchlist. Maybe not.
Also, it is not really a knock-off now but - rather an independent website. Anton (talk) 14:56, March 19, 2014 (UTC)
Well, watever... Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 14:47, March 20, 2014 (UTC)

edit VFD

Hey SPIKE, should I remove the tag and add Oldvfd now? Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 14:47, March 20, 2014 (UTC)

If you mean the two votes I just closed, I used to do those steps at the same time I archived them. Don't archive these until last thing today or even tomorrow. You can untag/Oldvfd now if you like; just make sure you are consistent. (You can't do it 2 times but be sure you don't do it 0 times!) Spıke Ѧ 14:55 20-Mar-14
Alright, I might as well wait for tomorrow then. I should take a trip to the archives to see if any of the ballots have not been archived/untagged properly... Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 15:01, March 20, 2014 (UTC)
Always a plus to detect any mistakes you make...before someone else does. Spıke Ѧ 15:03 20-Mar-14
Or any other mistakes by past poopsmiths? I think I found some last time I visited the archive but I was too busy to deal with them. Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 15:07, March 20, 2014 (UTC)
Could have happened; I might even have made some mistakes, as you have seen! In your spare time, start in on How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid and Choice of Words, as eventually you might want to do more than help with the chores and start on your own funny article! Spıke Ѧ 16:22 20-Mar-14
Well, I am just still looking around and getting ideas on hoe to actually be funny. Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 16:24, March 20, 2014 (UTC)

edit Accounting on VFD

WHAT. It got 5 votes for deletion, none for keep, AND IT MADE IT. Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 15:11, March 24, 2014 (UTC)

Nope; it got 5 votes for deletion, I deleted it, and I created the new article, which is a redirect to Accountant (saved and VFD nomination withdrawn — I proposed the redirect at VFD and no one objected). But thanks for verifying this case, which looked like a mistake. Spıke Ѧ 15:34 24-Mar-14
Oh! Ok then. Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 15:36, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
In fact, you have a mistake in the {{Oldvfd}}: The page should be the page of the archive, not the article. (Notice it's a red-link on the talk page.) The automated code would generate Archive-2014-03#Accounting. However, under the new system, the pointer to the exact section doesn't work right, so I have been writing simply Archive-2014-03. Spıke Ѧ 15:38 24-Mar-14
Alright, thanks! Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 15:46, March 24, 2014 (UTC)

edit The Satanic Verses of Bhagavad-gita on VFH

that thing going on at funnybony's page, that kind of stuff is why I don't edit any l ron hubbard or scientology stuff, i'm a hubbard fan (not much of a scientology organization fan although they do good work as long as you keep away from their recruitment branch) and don't go along with the propaganda against him, but i do let those pages alone here - although if one were put up for feature i'd have my say and vote against it. funnybony honors the east indian texts, as do i (which is why i'm not voting for that vfh page in question, and if it gets more for votes i'll vote against it too), so there are some things that people stand up for, so maybe you can give him some space on this one even though he's venting. funnybony is one of the very good people here, and if you and he, and if you and lots of others, could make up a little maybe much good can come of this dust up.

on another topic, the other site is having an issue with mattel asking them to take down the fisher price logo used somewhere. has mattel contacted wikia as well? e.e. aleister 23:44 19-3-14

Yes. Mattel were just bothered by the logo use, not the article. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 23:54, March 19, 2014 (UTC)

edit Funnybony

Hi Spike. I'm sure you've read the conversation on Funnybony's page. I don't know what the issue is between the two of you and I don't need a full history. I would like to ask that in the interests of cutting down on problems/drama that if you wish to pass something on to Funnybony you do so via another admin. I obviously can't make you do that and I can only ask you to do it but please consider my reasons. If there are urgent issues like vandalism or page blanking then by all means intervene but otherwise please avoid interacting with him as far as possible. Thanks. --ChiefjusticeGameBoy 22:03, March 20, 2014 (UTC)

Our messages crossed; but, understood. Spıke Ѧ 22:09 20-Mar-14

edit Continuation from User talk:

I've got an account now. Namewasalreadytaken (talk) 19:10, March 21, 2014 (UTC)

I have to say it is not the best name ever... Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 19:18, March 21, 2014 (UTC)
Like he says: All the good ones are already taken! Spıke Ѧ 19:21 21-Mar-14
I had critiqued Name's new article by writing to his IP; and have now moved the text he was working on to his userspace, as described on his shiny new talk page. Spıke Ѧ 19:28 21-Mar-14
A fine name! One user here is called NoNamesLeft and he doesn't lack imagination or originality! Anton (talk) 14:41, March 22, 2014 (UTC)
It is somehow fitting to create a user name that complains about the unavailability of usernames, en route to writing an article whose theme is that "nothing is known about it." Spıke Ѧ 14:52 22-Mar-14

edit Section blanking

Thanks for your help! Anton (talk) 17:59, March 22, 2014 (UTC)

edit Two things

I know how much you enjoy it when I wrap two things into the one header on your talk page, so:

  1. Uncyclopedia:Report a problem - there's a response to you
  2. Reading through mw:Manual:$wgHiddenPrefs - this suggests that the inability to change/remove a real name on this site can be adjusted with a simple edit to the LocalSettings.php. Rather than arguing with Mira - as I'm annoyed again at the handball and lack of resolution - I thought I'd get you to re-read this and make sure it means what I think it means, and then I might ask Sannse to look into that change.

Thoughts?                               Puppy's talk page04:24 pm 26 Mar 2014

I am sorry you thought that is what I enjoy. What I really enjoy is wrapping one thing into one section header, which is so specific I can find stuff three months from now. I have already written a MediaWiki page to explain what Special:AncientPages displays; tell me if more is needed.
As for $wgHiddenPrefs, after reading the sparse text in the MediaWiki manual, I don't really understand the issue any more than Mira does (like, why were you and Zana able to enter your full name once but are now unable to delete it?), but he seemed to accept my input that everyone's defaults should maximize privacy and he passed your request onto the Mobile engineers. Better than me rereading it and confirming that that is "what it means," which I cannot, it would be better to deal with someone at Wikia who knows "what it does." By all means contact Sannse. (As she always says, you cannot, but only use Special:Contact, which you have already done.) Spıke Ѧ 16:37 26-Mar-14
Prior to MW v1.16ish, the default was to have an option in preferences for "real name (to be used for attribution)", but it never displayed on the site. At about MW v1.16 that option was removed, and Wikia took on the Oasis skin, where the option was added to the user page.
Unfortunately the user database here is not the same as Wikia's global database. Which means when someone tries to add or remove details from their "Optional information" on their user page, it does nothing.
This option in local preferences adds the "real name" field back into user preferences, from what I can read from that mw page.
The issue is not with the mobile skin, as it also goes across to the Wikia skin - which means Mira's handball is going to do absolutely nothing. Which - incidentally - is the identical response to the issue with not being able to get to the full site on mobile devices issue that I raised last year, and it took three months to resolve.
The problem is the inability to adjust user preferences to be able to remove that information. There's no problem with it being displayed, but users must have the access to remove it. (As for me having my name displayed - I don't. Zana does, as does Colin "All your base" Heaney.) It impacts on any user who was here prior to mw v1.16ish, and who entered in that information - especially as it was never being displayed in the first place.                               Puppy's talk page05:30 pm 26 Mar 2014
As your bug report that I got a copy of went to a Mobile engineer and seemed even to me to be about Mobile, you should indeed file another one with the same amount of detail you gave above, and specify that it is not a Mobile bug. Do please name me or point to this page. Spıke Ѧ 17:34 26-Mar-14
I've thrown it at Sannse via community Wikia. The reality is that users who have added their real name previously will probably still have that displayed until they remove it. I've asked that we actually have the means to add/remove real names though.                               Puppy's talk page01:07 am 29 Mar 2014
Your bug report looks clear to me, and I see Sannse has sent it on its way.... Spıke Ѧ 01:14 29-Mar-14

edit Inadvertent ban of Anton; David Cameron; user Lord Castabarus

I have looked through Anton's recent contributions and see nothing that resembles vandalism. Has there been a mistake in banning him for two weeks? Seperately User:Lord Castabarus who has done some decent editing (added a picture to David Cameron (which by the way is a very stereotypical article with lots of unoriginal humour - I might re-write when I get round to it)) has once again blanked his talk page. Maybe a stern final warning and some words of encouragement on his talk page for his work and future work would help to settle things down. I won't touch the talk page at the moment and let you take a course of action you desire. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 20:45, March 28, 2014 (UTC)

I have unblocked Anton, I have checked his contributions and deleted contributions and can't find anything meriting two weeks off. If there's a problem off wiki let me know. --ChiefjusticeGameBoy 21:07, March 28, 2014 (UTC)
I did what? I'll look into this right now and compose the details of an apology! Spıke Ѧ 21:44 28-Mar-14
I had a look at the David Cameron article. Started a re-rewrite but seen that it needs a lot of work to remove old stuff pre-2010 and cut back on the lists at the end. I also checked the logs regards Anton. Perhaps Spike got confused with Lord Castabarus's IP anon comment? --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 21:47, March 28, 2014 (UTC)
In the morning I sifted through the Abuse Log and banned a bunch of spambots. At the time of this ban, I was reviewing new user BEJR2000, whom I ministered to with {{Oh Dear}} on his talk page as he was adding totally serious paragraphs plus links and photos to external humor, plus Rollback All, plus Special:Nuke, the first one didn't seem to take. Presumably a very sloppy reading of the screen on my part — Anton was cleaning up Radio just below in RecentChanges and I could have hit that. I have had fewer dealings with Anton than usual, and several very positive ones at the bottom of his talk page, which I'll now visit. Spıke Ѧ 21:53 28-Mar-14
In fact, a minor case of bad hand/eye coordination, described at User talk:Anton199 along with my apology. Spıke Ѧ 02:05 29-Mar-14
In re Lord Castabarus, he has had three bans, the last by me for three months. He has ignored repeated warnings and indeed may have tried to pretend through blanking that they didn't happen. My next move would be a six-month ban in view of the previous one. However, there seems to be some character development going on here, as he has advanced from vandalizing the site to merely writing new paragraphs that aren't funny. I have given him your desired warning (which is plenty "stern" but won't be news) — Recommend some other Admin take a fresh look and decide if it's time for another ban. Spıke Ѧ 22:09 28-Mar-14
Well, he saw the warning, reacted with more blanking and contempt, and I whacked him. Spıke Ѧ 01:02 29-Mar-14
I didn't realise he'd been banned 3 times before but thanks for giving him another warning. He certainly deserves this final ban. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 06:27, March 29, 2014 (UTC)
Done with regrets — He was increasingly evidencing a sense of humor, but also that it would be subordinated to other agendas. Other Admins are free to revisit this if a better way occurs to them. Spıke Ѧ 12:53 30-Mar-14

edit {{VFDn}} tweak

So I have a partial solution that I've been playing with at User:PuppyOnTheRadio/Test. The last header has images in it, rather than text links. That should resolve most of those issues. Let me know if that works as a solution for you, and if it does I'll tweak those header templates accordingly.                               Puppy's talk page01:56 am 29 Mar 2014

I can see it. (If I run with images enabled, which I usually don't, in which case I just see "Dot H".) Does that mean it's working? Spıke Ѧ 02:03 29-Mar-14
That fixed it. Now, the Hs seem to be below the baseline of the section heading (I presume because they are technically not part of the section heading, which was the goal), but I'm running with so many local tweaks that that might just be me. Spıke Ѧ 02:11 29-Mar-14
That appears to be part of either your local tweaks, or because the image placeholder is too small to show the alt text so it drops it down slightly. Either way it means it's workable. I'll get to fixing these later today - hopefully.                               Puppy's talk page02:15 am 29 Mar 2014
Done. I've removed the "archive", "add oldvfd" and "featured" buttons for now, just to make it simpler. This won't be fantastic for images off, but the links will work. I've also added comments into the rtemplates to make it a little easier to edit them if needed.                               Puppy's talk page08:37 am 29 Mar 2014

Your tutorial to Nick123 is odd. You tell him that certain options are only for Admins and Poopsmiths, but he is in fact the Poopsmith (and they all get an odd day off). Meanwhile, your instruction on the templates seems to have some typos; nice that he smiled and thanked you anyway. PS, it is my turn to scold you as I am marking edits Patrolled that you already undid (two, with Change Summary "Who?"). It will be your turn to scold me again some time soon. Your VFD comment that the unfunny article I nominated had been funny before being vandalized is right; I have reverted it, as I should have done instead of nominating it. Spıke Ѧ 20:47 29-Mar-14
It was more to let him know about the changes I'd made to the VFD stuff. Sorry about the patrolling stuff - initially meant to revert both of them, changed my mind, stuffed up one if the undos, and then hid in a cupboard in shame.                               Puppy's talk page12:20 am 30 Mar 2014

edit Share buttons

What I've been waiting for for ages has finally happened. It appears that Bizzeebeever has deleted the image he uses for the "share" option from the site it was hosted at. (Which is one of the concerns I had way back when he first created that gadget.) I'm thinking that as his gadget actually doesn't really display on screen properly, and causes issues when accessing the site from places where you can't access the third party sites he has linked to, it may be time to remove this from where it is at present and create a more visible selection of sharing icons at the base of the sidebar.                               Puppy's talk page02:15 am 29 Mar 2014

Not only that, but it enables the third-party site to collect information on the Uncyclopedian. I was reassured when Olipro(?) added social website options to the UnNews Front Page that they would not do a round trip to each of those websites. What would you like me to do? Spıke Ѧ 02:18 29-Mar-14
For now we'd be best to remove it until we have a better system in place. I know that it was linked into the site js, but without being in front of a PC hard to narrow down where it sits. I can create "dumb" links to sites that don't do any sharing beyond the link itself - I used them for the share links on Microsoft Knowledge Base. I also noticed that it links via, and refers back to the EMC owned social network profiles.
Probably need to look more at social networking linking back here, but I haven't gotten to that bit yet. (And due to my time constraints I'm not the ideal person to try and manage these.)                               Puppy's talk page02:53 am 29 Mar 2014

edit External links

                              Puppy's talk page09:13 am 29 Mar 2014

Ah - I see what it has done to me now. try* instead,                               Puppy's talk page09:15 am 29 Mar 2014

edit Aleister

I have restored the forum to BHOP and locked it so that it cannot be edited. 3 days seems a bit steep for venting his personal feelings on a forum. I'd like to request his block be shortened to two hours, that's more than sufficient time off for what is a very small offence. There's no codified link about talking about the fork and if we banned everyone who ranted about something in the forum we'd have no users left. Admins aren't immune to criticism, but telling Aleister that this isn't the place for it and locking the forum seems more appropriate in this case. I see entirely why you did it and what your intentions are, I'd just like to see the punishment better fit the crime. I'm not going to revert the ban if you disagree, but can we at least consider a reduction? --ChiefjusticeGameBoy 18:21, March 30, 2014 (UTC)

I agree, the forum should have been just locked as this isn't the place to moan about other admins elsewhere. It is what we did last year when those who left came back to create forums asking why people remained at this site. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 18:42, March 30, 2014 (UTC)
No problem in cutting the ban short. But I would have left the Forum deleted. We ought not let us become a favored destination for complaints on the administration of other websites, and if Forums like this invite counter-rants and retaliation, we cannot "lock down the debate," something we also saw last year. Spıke Ѧ 13:02 2-Apr-14

edit Hello

Thanks to Chief and Romartus for lessening my ban, but I felt it was justified and so took the whole thing. Spike, you were right, I did non-thinkingly and overtly criticize a couple of the wikia admins, and did so pretty blatantly, so I deserved three days in the hole. I still disagree about being banned for linking and talking about other sites, people do that all over the web and twice on Sunday, but I do agree about my rant spilling over to admins here. Felt great to get it off my chest though (GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!), an unfairness occurred and I had to rant about it someplace. I spent some of my time really polishing up my Guidebook page, and damn, does it read good now if I don't say so myself, and will copy it here. Thanks for doing your hateful best to do your hateful duty, love ya man (hugs but no kisses). Aleister 17:55 2-4-14

To go 'Aleisterical' ©Leverage as observed at the Fork. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 07:20, April 3, 2014 (UTC)

edit VFD

Could you do me a favour? When closing a nomination on VFD, could you add to the comments something along the lines of * Deleted ~~~~~ (or kept/replaced, etc.), so I can keep track of when the 24 hours is up without having to check the log/page history?                               Puppy's talk page09:28 am 02 Apr 2014

The color-coded clock keeps track of the elapsed time of the nomination. I have been faithful in marking Change Summaries so they show what was done with which article, when. Is your goal to debug the templates or to ensure the rules are complied with? Spıke Ѧ 13:02 2-Apr-14
It's the "not archiving for 24 hours after deletion/closing" that I'm working on. At the moment I'm having to go back and check the history/logs to see when stuff happened. The clock shows time from nomination, but nothing indicates outcome. It also would make sense when digging through archives to know what was done when without digging.                               Puppy's talk page02:14 am 03 Apr 2014
As that rule depends on the fullness of VFD, we ought to leave this to the Poopsmith's discretion. If he should suddenly reappear. Spıke Ѧ 02:16 3-Apr-14

edit File:ClintonAristocratsGoneWild.png

QVFD?                               Puppy's talk page09:49 am 02 Apr 2014

This page, though potentially useful in a 2016 Hillary campaign, is used only in a personal porn cache and is labeled both "gross" and "NSFW." It's gone. Next time, you can take it straight to QVFD. Spıke Ѧ 13:02 2-Apr-14

edit Wikipedia:User scripts

We were discussing scripting the other day. Although this doesn't give a solution to the watchlist thingy we were looking at, there may be some scripts in here that you could find useful.                               Puppy's talk page02:19 am 03 Apr 2014

edit File:HETtuna.jpg

This was unused for about three years because a vandal from 2011 (whom Pup has just reverted) deleted an entire section from Political cartoon, which contained that image. Could it be restored, please? Anton (talk) 11:31, April 3, 2014 (UTC)

Thanks! Anton (talk) 12:02, April 3, 2014 (UTC)
And thanks for picking up what I missed.                               Puppy's talk page01:03 pm 03 Apr 2014

edit French

Could you protect this page against IPs by any chance? It is a consistent target for receiving un-original French stereotype quotes from what I can only assume to be the same determined anonymous person. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 08:07, April 9, 2014 (UTC)

edit Visual editor

Wow!....I think we've got Visual Editor, like Wikipedia! Have you seen that? Anton (talk) 11:42, April 9, 2014 (UTC)

I know this was directed to Spike but for the wondering ordinary minstrel, what are you refering to specifically? Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 11:45, April 9, 2014 (UTC)
I see it too (second line of buttons at the top of the page). I'll play with this the next time I am on unmetered Internet. Spıke Ѧ 11:53 9-Apr-14
Sorry can't see them. Are we talking about the "edit", "ban patrol" etc. buttons? Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 11:55, April 9, 2014 (UTC)
Never mind just seen it! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:00, April 9, 2014 (UTC)
Nothing seems to happen when I click on it. Simply refreshes the page. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:03, April 9, 2014 (UTC)
Do you have Teh JavaScriptz switched on? It might even require Teh Flash. Spıke Ѧ 12:35 9-Apr-14
Visual editor seems to work only on mainspace pages (which is a rational thing, as it's supposed to make editing articles easier, without bothering with the wiki formatting), that's probably why you couldn't see it at the beginning. I clicked on it, but it takes a lot of time to load (Wikipedia's VisualEditor also does, so it's not different). If it works, you'll still see the page the way it looks like when it's saved and when you click on something and start editing, it'll just associate the changes directly to it. Anton (talk) 18:35, April 9, 2014 (UTC)
I too see no effect--nor the spinning wheel suggesting that additional stuff is loading. When I "click on something and start editing," I get the old-style edit box. Spıke Ѧ 23:54 9-Apr-14
OK, I haven't seen it work here (because of it cannot load) but I tried it once on Wikipedia and it's pretty much how it worked. Maybe it's a bug and they're still going to fix it. Anton (talk) 15:21, April 10, 2014 (UTC)

edit William Riker

Hello spike, Regarding "I believe thumbnails with scaling or caption do not animate", please see the article "Blue Screen of Death" and the GIF "Data can never get past level 2". I used exactly the same code as that GIF (with the other image's dimensions of course, 290px) and it didn't animate. Have no idea why.

Anyways, I think the still image the thumb is showing pretty much sums up what I want it to say anyway.

Regards, Ihasakitler 09:06, April 10, 2014 (UTC)  :)

It's the way wiki parses images. If an image is resized wiki software converts it from the server end to a png type file - which means with animated GIFs you only get the first frame. If the original image size is 320px width (for example), the displayed size needs to also be 320px.
So if you want the file to be displayed at 280px, you need to locally save the file, and use an editor like GIMP or Photoshop (not MS Paint) to resize it with all frames intact, and then re-upload the edited file, and then add it to your page.
The problem there, of course, is that resizing will lose some of the image quality. Because stupid computers are stupid.                               Puppy's talk page09:43 am 10 Apr 2014

edit Where's Puppy?

So that you know what's going on, I'm doing stuff on other Wikia wikis at the moment - most of it with some transferable value back to here. It means my edits are likely to be even less regular than they are now, but method and madness, etc.

What you may not be aware of - a significant number of wikis use user talk pages in a very different fashion. Instead of responding to a thread on the page that it was started on, users respond back on the original poster's page. Which means that if you read a single page you won't understand the conversation. Like listening to half of a phone call.                               Puppy's talk page01:12 pm 10 Apr 2014 13:12, April 10, 2014 (UTC)

Oh, most definitely that will be done.                               Puppy's talk page01:12 pm 10 Apr 2014
I'm not too sure how legal it was. Aparently the laws relating to bestiality differ from state to state. The raw meat was a concern for me though.                               Puppy's talk page01:12 pm 10 Apr 2014
Only on Tuesdays, and you have to book in advance. She accepts Paypal though.                               Puppy's talk page01:12 pm 10 Apr 2014
So now you understand what I mean about confusing now. The way we use talk pages makes much more sense.                               Puppy's talk page01:12 pm 10 Apr 2014

Thanks for checking in. That would be the Wikia "message wall" or whatever they call it? I religiously pick up requests for help from newbies and move them (and the inevitable reply) to the newbie's own talk page. With luck, you noticed my post in the middle of your talk page that the Watchgadget bug is solved, and might never have affected any other Uncyclopedian in the first place. Spıke Ѧ 14:38 10-Apr-14

Message Walls are different again. They are used more like how we do User Talk here. As for moving stuff to newbies talk pages - only time that becomes problematic is using IP talk pages. I had a message on WP: when I wasn't logged in, telling me they'd reverted my edits to an article. Finally reałised dynamic IP address, so the message wasn't for me. At the same time, the intended recipient is now unlikely to ever see it, as the message banner won't show.                               Puppy's talk page02:55 pm 10 Apr 2014

edit Yaks in Canada

There is a great debate going on in my head right now. I remember how we voted down That time I nearly took a sojourn to Canada while I was being raped by a yak at VFD and remember my reasons for voting to delete it. At the same time, I remember that it was the most original and maybe even the most worthy My sojourn that was deleted. But then I remember that six people voted against it. At the same time, the discussion took place before I started UnBooks:My sojourn, and the outcome could be different if it was now.

And I forgot what the article actually looked like, so I don't know what do. Could you please help, by looking at the article and saying if it could survive in the UnBooks and possibly make it better, or if it's simply not funny, no matter where it is and even with possible polishing? Anton (talk) 15:09, April 14, 2014 (UTC)

I think you meant to write, "I reasons for nominating it." If the purpose of your Book is to be funny, rather than a forensic re-creation of a previous frat party at Uncyclopedia where the same exact articles have to appear and contain some of the same text that was typed originally, you might spend the same time writing a new chapter that is even more original and worthy. Spıke Ѧ 15:55 14-Apr-14
Funny - I haven't hadn't read this message until now but still wrote a new chapter, which I hope is original and worthy! Anton (talk) 16:41, April 14, 2014 (UTC)
The deleted article, apart from a "15-foot yak cock" (which offers nice alliteration but no humor) is indistinguishable from one of the ones you have up on VFD, and can't hold a candle to your "Peloponnesia," which braids erudition around its randomness. PS--Another thing I wouldn't waste time on is dealing with 'bot Fnoodle's tagging of articles for using deprecated tags. Spıke Ѧ 17:15 14-Apr-14
Why not? I read that if a tag is deprecated, it is probable that it soon won't work on some browsers. Anton (talk) 17:27, April 14, 2014 (UTC)
I read the yak sojourn you mention Anton, and it's maybe one of only ones I've ever laughed at. Quite clever, actually, and I would have voted a keep on that one. Although the first caption needs the formula mark-up (as does your new addition, which is quite pleasing to the intellect and may gain favor for your book. a book which needs a cover!) Aleister 18:25 14-4-14

edit Accountant

Congratulations for the save and feature Spike. To have an original article on accountants is something Uncyclopedia can feel proud of. I was thinking of writing a Scottish Independence Campaign article to cover the events leading up to the Scottish referendum in 2014. To think that by the end of this year we Brits might be facing a huge change in how we perceive our state (as complicated as it is already) is something I am dreading, especially as an exiled Scot. I think its better to write it up in one big article rather than countless UnNews that I have thought of writing on the subject. Also I'll get round to Mr. Miliband's article at some point too. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:17, April 14, 2014 (UTC)

At some point in researching one of my India articles, I read about India's tendency to react to any civil uprising by creating new states or shifting their boundaries. As your country and mine were organized by pre-existing states with distinct identities, the current news in Scotland is more disturbing than, say, shifting the border between Chihuahua and Coahuila, Mexico. Will persons like you be offered the "right of return"? Spıke Ѧ 18:42 14-Apr-14
PS--I would spike UnSignpost:Article/Does_Uncyclopedia_need_more_admins?. Not only is the current vote -1 toward a goal of 5, but the deadline for that phase of voting passed four days ago. Spıke Ѧ 18:46 14-Apr-14

Yes it is rather disturbing. The loss of the British identity is most distressing especially for someone like me who is from all over the British Isles. The nations of Scotland and England don't really exist in my view and the view of the majority of people who live in the South East of England, being economic migrants from different places within Britain and the rest of the World, the identity of an "Englishman" is certainly the nomenclature for a white person who is from a particular county/region of England. If Scotland breaks off the word British can still be used but we won't be politically united so we'll have to broaden the meaning of "Englishman". Anyway how Salmond can pull of the trick without any sensible economic ideas is ridiculous. The "No" campaign have everything in favour of them, the last two Prime Ministers were Scottish, Scotland will be financially unstable, Scotland will lose the high up diplomatic position that Britain currently has etc. All we need now is someone who can actually argue back at Salmond because there seems to be no figurehead for the campaign against.

As for the UnSignpost article consider it, as usual, late news. It makes people aware of the situation if people don't know and also points out an absurd factor behind the idea of wanting more admins. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:38, April 14, 2014 (UTC)

edit VFS April

Can you close the vote as "Did not pass round 1", and delete the vote (with link to prev version in history)? Keeps getting added to, and I would prefer that people realise we're post 10th day. Would do it myself, but time poor.                               Puppy's talk page10:07 pm 14 Apr 2014

Remanded to the Chief Justice, who did so. Spıke Ѧ 19:52 16-Apr-14

edit Hello

And I am sorry for my long absence! I am back and will start doing the poopsmithing again. Sorry, technical problems didn't allow me to drop by. Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 23:55, April 15, 2014 (UTC)

Sounds good! If "technical problems" permit, let us know in advance of future long absences! Nothing that needs your attention right now. Spıke Ѧ 00:11 16-Apr-14
It was internet failure, just so you know. It will not happen again, I assure you. Compassrose-transparent Bro. Nicholas 00:15, April 16, 2014 (UTC)
The internet will not fail again??? You had better write an UnNews! Are you sure you are in Greece? It sounds like Turkey!!! Spıke Ѧ 00:19 16-Apr-14

edit Gaza War

I found there wasn't too much to re-write on the article. I gave a satirically biased towards Israel article and rather emphasised the common sense options to resolve the situation. Might need some more humour though. My views on the subject are quite strong and I fear that in some areas they burst through a bit but were not smothered with enough comedy. Please take a look and add where you can. Thanks! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:32, April 16, 2014 (UTC)

I looked in and groaned when I saw you were trying to give the historical background for the war. Jews versus Arabs should be regarded as one of those cases for which, as I recommend in CoW#Extremists, you should steer wide of your own views and of common-sense (that is, real-world) resolution, in favor of more fanciful and absurd interpretations, even randomness. To the point, even a "satirically biased" article is perceived by half of its target audience as not satirical at all. Read User talk:Mctomerd11 for an example. In particular, Adolf Hitler does not belong anywhere near this article: Too serious. Spıke Ѧ 19:52 16-Apr-14
Oh I see what you mean. I guess that's a more original take. Might try a re-write of my re-write then tomorrow or sometime soon. Going to sleep now though! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 20:00, April 16, 2014 (UTC)
I looked in closer just now. The final section (Aftermath) gives me the strong impression someone is trying to sell me one side in a political dispute. I can force myself to see that you are writing with irony, but I cannot separate it from the serious. In particular, there is a question we ought not try to answer on this website — whether the economic differences between Israel and Gaza are the result of racism or of culture — and any informed reader scours even a frivolous or ironic approach to the question to decide which side the author is on.
I hope all this doesn't give you nightmares! Spıke Ѧ 20:06 16-Apr-14
Yes, you are too kind, the final section was only my views with hardly a lick of humour. I'll re-write again and eliminate any bias to either side instead just going for humour that isn't satire (so Al on your earlier point, I think this is a comedy website, not just a satire website). Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 07:50, April 17, 2014 (UTC)
And regarding hardly a lick of humour, reaching out to Mctomerd11 with a passing scolding on how his country should behave will not end well, nor least of all be the basis for a collaboration. Satire is fine; but political commentary with a comic twist — This is what Beck and Limbaugh do on talk radio every hour, for the overt purpose of changing minds.
One section starts: "Due to the genocidal levels of civilian deaths at the hands of the homicidal Jews...." I don't know or care whether you believe this, or believe the exact opposite and this is a twist. It reads like extreme rhetoric (especially to an Israeli like Mctomerd11). Again pointing you to CoW#Extremists, reading "humor" that takes the exact form of a call to jihad is going to be very unfunny to some, and humor only by mechanical transformation to the rest of us. Spıke Ѧ 10:46 17-Apr-14
I didn't write that line. My re-write is not finished and I agree that things such as that line are obviously going to offend an Israeli so they should be removed. But commenting on how his country's political dealings should be on his talk page is a point I decided to make to emphasise that he cannot play a race card. Even if we did write a biased article it would be acceptable as long as it had the comedy element. Political comedy is a great way to get across a message but I agree that it should be left out of this article. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:11, April 17, 2014 (UTC)
PS - I would consider the first re-write more a Jon Stewart style than Glenn Beck but I'm sure that's all the same to you! Also I haven't actually finished so you needn't keep pointing out lines I didn't write and telling me they are my work! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:14, April 17, 2014 (UTC)
I didn't say you did write that line but was just offering it as an example. On your comment to Mctomerd11, my point was that such comments seem to make it more likely, not less, that he will play a race card. As for the direction the article should take, we are in agreement. You'll see I have been in (at Sections 1.2 and 2) to make it more whimsical; would you please see what you can do about the following sections, and we'll call it a day? Spıke Ѧ 12:18 17-Apr-14

Will do. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:30, April 17, 2014 (UTC)

Love reading through the article at the moment however the Attack, Ceasefire and Aftermath sections still need work. I'll have a crack on them now. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 07:05, April 18, 2014 (UTC)

Shall we get this up to a feature standard? Then we can (hopefully) get a feature (half point each) and it will also encourage a preservation of the article in its current form so that no one takes it back down the route of racism or verbal attacks. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 10:17, April 21, 2014 (UTC)

What we have already done encourages that. I think the Gaza War has jumped the shark, but I'll check in on your editing. And as predicted, your scolding of Mctomerd11 on how to run his country to satisfy the BBC (and on which British political party to disfavor) had no effect. Spıke Ѧ 11:38 21-Apr-14
On the contrary I have given him a view to think about. As I said I was advising him on what another group of people thought on the subject. Not sure how the Beeb would be satisfied but if they care more about people cooperating and having fun in this World rather than selfish isolation causing war then to quote Brown, "I agree with Nick." Do debates really need a winner and a loser in your mind? No one wins or loses a debate, debates just encourage broader reading. I found it most enjoyable and interesting. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 13:01, April 21, 2014 (UTC)
I might stick it on VFH if its any good after your check through anyway as I think it's quite funny now. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 14:50, April 21, 2014 (UTC)

edit User:Vance69

Do you think it's a normal userpage? Looks rather suspicious to me, but at the same time I don't think it's spam. On the other note, your vote for Ernest Hemingway probably ended the conflict if there was any! Anton (talk) 19:59, April 19, 2014 (UTC)

It is one of the world's userpages, and immediately tag-worthy if it were moved to the encyclopedia. I've greeted him with gentle instructions. Spıke Ѧ 21:11 19-Apr-14

edit User:ConCass2/Bottom (TV series)

About the article I wrote, what was it specifically that it was deleted for? Your reason was "it's more of a blog than humour", but that's a bit vague. I assume the article was too positive or something like that, but could you care to be more specific? -- 10:57, April 20, 2014 (UTC)

Sure thing.
  1. Began with five quotations.
  2. Had no comedy theme other than to run down the show.
  3. Body of the article was nothing but a list of characters, with more of the same.
In short, you need something to hold the page together other than the quality of your own insults. Also, you are not a registered Uncyclopedian so there is no userspace in which to move it. If you'd pick a user name (and write back, logged-in, so I know who you became), I can give you a copy for further work. Spıke Ѧ 11:04 20-Apr-14
I'm currently abroad and don't have my home computer, so I can't make an account for now, but thanks for explaining. -- 11:56, April 20, 2014 (UTC)
Nothing you do on Uncyclopedia is stored on the computer you're using (except a cookie, which is useless after you log out), so you could register now. In any rate, I hope you do so after you return home. Spıke Ѧ 14:43 20-Apr-14
It was the email that was stored on my computer, and I needed the confirmation message. Anyway, I've got the account. But could you explain what you mean by "run down"? I don't remember any insults in the page, I just assumed it was deleted because it looked like it was praising the show. --ConCass2 (talk) 13:53, April 22, 2014 (UTC)
Oh, right, there is that. (Also, pages you browse may go into your borrowed computer's cache, to increase speed, unless you clear it out at the end or specify a "private browsing" session.) No, I deleted the page because it looked like you were mostly just insulting the show. It is now in your userspace at User:ConCass2/Bottom (TV series). Please go easy on the initial quotations and reliance on lists! Spıke Ѧ 14:19 22-Apr-14

edit Wish sandwich at VFS

I learned something...                               Puppy's talk page11:32 am 21 Apr 2014

Yes, hence the link. Those lyrics refuse to leave my head through the ears, but I don't see them in any of the written lyrics. Spıke Ѧ 11:38 21-Apr-14

edit Block of User "User670839245"

SPIKE…!!!....You un blocked me, but you DID NOT UNBLOCK MY IP!!! How careless… User670839245 (Talk | Local Contribs | Block Locally (log)) 19:52, April 24, 2014 (UTC)

He's such a bastard. --ChiefjusticeGameBoy 19:53, April 24, 2014 (UTC)
Nice to see you found another IP; I have heard there are several available. But I cannot see my permaban of it in the log, nor any evidence that it was undone. Spıke Ѧ 23:04 24-Apr-14
not perma-ban, but auto ban. For 24 Hr. ANd that IP is a mobile phone which I will never use to browse Wikia unless I have to make a quick edit somewhere. User670839245 (Talk | Local Contribs | Block Locally (log))15:39, May 2, 2014 (UTC)

edit Fishy goings on

Just uploaded a file of Sushi, representing Sushi, and have stumbled across Mr Lovecraft's most famous creation: Cthulhu Spawn accidently. What's the correct procedure sir? GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]  14:41, April 25, 2014 (UTC)

Re-upload your image under a different name. I have reverted the Cthulu Spawn image to the original. --ChiefjusticeGameBoy 14:47, April 25, 2014 (UTC)
Yup; play nice and always mind the legend that says you are proposing to upload a new version of an image name already in use on someone else's page. Chief, thanks for kibitzing; I have three full domestic issues simmering this morning, one involving plumbing. Spıke Ѧ 15:35 25-Apr-14
You're welcome to have a look at my pipes any time. --ChiefjusticeGameBoy 17:17, April 25, 2014 (UTC)

edit Glenn Beck shuffle

The articles under this name (and derivations) have all been shuffled around. The way they were named went through some discussion at VFD, and the move has made the inferior (IMO) article come under the main title. Because they've been moved by someone with rollback/admin rights the histories are all messed up. Can you have a look and either clean up the moves so histories are correct, or undo the moves?                               Puppy's talk page06:06 am 27 Apr 2014

I shuffled the articles. The reason I did this is because I think the FA Glenn Beck article had more to do with the show than the person, so I changed the names of both articles to make them more fitting. However, if you think this was the wrong move, feel free to revert it.--EpicWinner (talk) 06:40, April 27, 2014 (UTC)

edit Equitism


I thank you for your concern with the page posted under the heading "Equitism" however I must inform that that was simply being used as a project for a class that is to be presented tomorrow afternoon. The project was create our own political ideology. I understand that it isn't funny but if you can at least wait until after 2PM eastern standard time tomorrow to take action that would be appreciated. We need this for our grade so yeah... The preceding unsigned comment was added by Equitism (talk • contribs)

In Spike's brief absence, not really a justifiable reason to keep an unhumorous article on a site dedicated to humour.
Solution 1: Create a wiki of your own to host this stuff
Solution 2: Make a blog
Solution 3: Tell your teacher that any assignment that relies on you adding your work to an unrelated website is ludicrous, and that you aren't going to put up with his draconian bullshit, drop out of school, and start working as a prostitute, get string out on whatever the cool kids are doing these days, and die an early death from lifestyle related illnesses.
Although I am speaking for myself on solution 3 - I doubt Spike would agree with the details. He'd probably suggest a sports scholarship, followed by injuries sustained on the field, and early retirement into an alcohol infused oblivion. He likes sport.                               Puppy's talk page10:14 am 30 Apr 2014
I do agree with the outline. Meanwhile, author seems to have found an ideology already: I have a need, and therefore you (actually, your webhost) are obliged to provide your facilities even though I am not participating for the purpose for which the site was set up. I do not agree with this ideology. However, if he is anything beyond a beggar, he will see that the page lives on in his user page. I am sure the Cabal would not have me go further, regarding misuse of the website, because of the possibility that he will come back and contribute something appropriate. Spıke Ѧ 11:49 30-Apr-14
PS--Nope. He put it back in the main encyclopedia. It's gone, and he's gone. Spıke Ѧ 15:36 30-Apr-14
This is one of the users from "Equitism". It was our groups choice to use the wiki type page, it wasn't required by the professor. Spike, your last comment confuses me a little bit about agreeing with the outline. The most important detail with that was that it was not a real ideology. We created it for the purpose of the presentation. Also, we had a couple different people working with this site and so the person that kept re-posting was a different than me, who is the one who posted here. The preceding unsigned comment was added by (talk • contribs)
This is one of the problems with group accounts: it is hard to know if two changes were made by the same person, and a single editor can get the entire account blocked, which is the case right now. I suggest that you choose a different username, if you would like to contribute to Uncyclopedia in order to write something funny. Concerning the assignment, I am sure there are many other wikis where it will be allowed and maybe even welcome, you just have to search for a relevant one, where fake ideologies could be posted. Another choice would be to try and make something out of it, even if it's fake, so it could be kept here. Finally, if you don't have any time to make any changes or to look for a new wiki, you can [contact] Spike and maybe he will allow this article to exist as your userpage for a while, considering that it was not your fault that the page got recreated. Anton (talk) 20:54, April 30, 2014 (UTC)
Equitism user again, it really isn't a big deal now. My group presented today so there's nothing we can do now. I did manage to get a screenshot of the page while it was still up prior to the, in my opinion, rude taking down of the article. I understand, you all just want funny or humorous articles. But it's like there's limited posting space here? Why was it such a big deal to remove an article like that? I guess that's my thing. Like why should it matter to anyone what I post there? If you don't want to see it, don't go to it. Plain and simple. And by the way, regarding future posting, I really don't see this being a place I will want to stay and continue posting. Any place that makes a mockery over the conflict in the middle east the way that this site isn't a place that I want to be. Nothing against you all, it just isn't my place. The preceding unsigned comment was added by (talk • contribs)
In other words, after your misuse of our website: (1) It is we who have been rude, but (2) We did not really inconvience you (nyah nyah!), and (3) We should not have held you to the rules of this site because the site has more resources than it needs, and (4) You don't like this site anyway, because it "makes a mockery over the conflict in the Middle East" (I should hope so, as we are here to make mockeries). Good riddance, then; and although you might get a passing grade in your coursework for your dopey "new ideology" that everyone be coercively equalized, you have avoided an actual life lesson, and are still on your way to growing up to snap your fingers and wait for things to be given to you. American public school, no? Spıke Ѧ 21:38 30-Apr-14
"I really don't see this being a place I will want to stay and continue posting.". Can we use that as UnAdvertising? --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 22:01, April 30, 2014 (UTC)
"The site where 9 out of ten unfunny grade-schoolers refuse to post." Spıke Ѧ 22:07 30-Apr-14
Prostitution or sports - I was right all along. And with all the stuff on here the “making fun of the Middle East” was the breaking point? People's triggers constantly amaze me. The preceding unsigned comment was added by Equitism (talk • contribs)
Can someone restore the article to my user space, or if it still exists elsewhere point me to it? I'm mainly curious, but also want to see if there is comedic potential.                               Puppy's talk page11:08 pm 30 Apr 2014
Well you did inconvenience us because at the time of our presentation, it wasn't available. Yes you were rude because we simply needed it up for one more hour and then you could've done whatever you wanted. Also, it was a class project, the ideology wouldn't actually work and I know that. I was in no way just waiting for "things to be given to me," I was simply trying to complete this project. Yes I went to American Public School, but it was great education and I learned from that you have to work to get places in life. I recognize that there are some people who have a sense of entitlement come from having things giving to them, I am not one of those people. As for the thing referring to the middle east, I wasn't saying that that wasn't your intent, I just know I don't care to be around that. Lastly, as for "prostitution or sports", I am guessing you mean that would be how I have to make a living? Yes I played sports when I was younger and I had a lot of fun. But my career will be nothing to do with either of those.The preceding unsigned comment was added by Equitism (talk • contribs)

Hi E. I'm kind of interested now in seeing what you wrote, maybe we can funny it up. This is often a good site to write on, and new kids have to learn the rules (and to be given time to learn them, I would hope). Why not come back and try again, with the thing on your user space or something, or pick a page here and see if you can add to it. You may end up liking some of the stuff here, but maybe not. How did you find the site in the first place? Aleister 21:35 30-4-14

Honestly, as a representative of E, I would not feel comfortable passing out the information that our entire group worked on because it is all of our collective intellectual property. I would be more than willing to share it but just not here you understand right? The preceding unsigned comment was added by Equitism (talk • contribs)
You do realise you released the intellectual property under an NC-BY-CC-SA licence already, don't you?                               Puppy's talk page11:44 pm 30 Apr 2014
Yes I am aware but if it's gone, I'm not going to bring it back. The preceding unsigned comment was added by Equitism (talk • contribs)
Spike, let's get that back so Puppy and I and others can funny it up, put clown pictures on it, and make it an unintellectual property, pretty please with cherries buried in there somewhere. Aleister 2:53 May Day '14
I decline. The article is unfunny, as it was designed to be. Kids write crappy compositions, as Art Linkletter parlayed into a best-selling book once; and the only point of poking fun at a grade-school composition placed here by defiant mistake is to ridicule the newbie (and take a victory lap at his expense), a useless digression into navelism, at the expense of writing really funny pages, exemplified by the Fisher Price saga and by several pages on VFD right now. Spıke Ѧ 01:44 2-May-14
Translation to Australian required: What age range is grade school again?                               Puppy's talk page01:50 am 02 May 2014
Roughly 5-17 years. One of the interchangeable entities behind User:Equitism, whom I do not know nor care to distinguish, referred to "American public schools" in the past tense, but if he or his parents is paying US$20,000 a year to a university for babysitting while he cranks out this crap, that is the real joke. Spıke Ѧ 01:57 2-May-14
I wish these guys learnt to sign their Equitism stuff. I thought it was related to the actors' union Equity. Guess not!--LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 12:07, May 2, 2014 (UTC)
Oh, well, I am sure the composition was not bad, and I think we are not here to judge people, their school and their projects, even if one got posted here by mistake. Anton (talk) 14:28, May 2, 2014 (UTC)


This user created a talkpage which looked very much like spam and so I nominated it on QVFD. However, a bit later I found out that he just copied a subpage of the article Scam letter (Scam letter/addtalk), made by Puppy, which ought to look like spam, so I crossed the nomination out. So if this block was not made by a mistake, please ignore this message. Anton (talk) 14:57, May 2, 2014 (UTC)

I checked out his deleted contributions and that is the only page in them. I have removed the ban. --ChiefjusticeGameBoy 07:43, May 3, 2014 (UTC)

edit Another section dedicated to Napoleon

Could you, please, tell me what you think about my additions to a general's quote in Napoleonic Wars#The French view of Napoleon's defeat? Anton (talk) 20:07, May 4, 2014 (UTC)

I don't exactly know what the joke is that a French general would pepper his discourse with French phrases (some of whose meanings will not be obvious to some of our readers) (except if the joke is that he is not speaking entirely in French, or more likely that he was but the writer of the encyclopedia article did an awful job of rendering it), but the joke is told many, many times.
By the way, in Section 7.3: If Fish Day is really a joke in French, and if it really needs explaining, just cut it out. Spıke Ѧ 22:57 4-May-14
Fish Day was my addition, it is not a joke as such, it is April Fool's Day in France. The joke I made was to re-name it Salt Day for reasons explained in the article. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 05:36, May 5, 2014 (UTC)
The French words were added for the style. The main joke was about his attitude in the battle. Anton (talk) 07:45, May 5, 2014 (UTC)
When I was typing the last message, I myself was not sure what my jokes were. Now, I remember. There seems to be only one word that may a pose a problem those who don't speak French - Le Monde - "The World", which is also a rather well-known French newspaper, so it's an independent joke, which could easily be interpreted as a bad translation. If you don't think it's good where it is, I can remove it easily. Just tell me. All of the other French words look almost exactly like their English equivalents, which is also a joke (that the French language, which the French consider so special, is not so different from English after all), sometimes even exactly - such as lion. Anton (talk) 18:44, May 5, 2014 (UTC)


Alright, you haven't voted for one of my pages on VFH in a long, long time. Aside from whatever that's about, would you please read, word for word if you start liking it, my Will Harridge page, which I've put some good time into in the last couple of days, and I have a feeling - as a real baseball fan - that you might like it. If not, can you give some advice of why not and what I could tweek. Thanks. Aleister 23:34 4-5-14

edit Thumbs and nails

Is it only my browser or did something really happen to image formatting? All the thumbed pictures now don't show in line with the text, but very separately, breaking the impression they were supposed to make. I've seen it happen on two different computers, so I presume it's something general. Anton (talk) 19:19, May 7, 2014 (UTC)

See Forum:Thumbnails are broken. Spıke Ѧ 19:25 7-May-14

edit Uploading images

Details of filenames deleted by Spike

I need you to upload the following images to the Memory Delta wiki, thank you....I need you to upload the following image to the Stargate wiki, thank you....I need you to upload the following image to the Sanctuary wiki, thank you.... Benna.

When you make an account on Wikia, you don't necessarily receive one on Uncyclopedia (and backwards). I don't think Spike has an account on any of these wikis and he is not in charge of any of them, so it will be as difficult for him to do this as it will be for you. Not counting the fact that it is outside his responsibilities. Anton (talk) 17:47, May 12, 2014 (UTC)
Thank you, Anton199, and you are quite right on both counts. Spıke Ѧ 18:03 12-May-14

I disabled my account on Memory Delta wiki, It was TyphussJediVader, can i get it back?. Benna.

See just above. Spıke Ѧ 18:04 12-May-14

What are you talking about?. Beanna.

What are you talking about?. Beanna.

What does thi mean: See just above. Beanna.

Are you going to tell me. Beanna.

Wait a minute, you were being funny. Beanna.

I don't know why you can't read it from Anton199 when I tell you that Anton199 stated what I would have stated. I am not an Admin on any of the target websites, I cannot upload photos there, and I don't want to upload photos there. Moreover, I do not want them to remain here, given that everything you uploaded today is here for the sole purpose of transfer to other websites. Moreover, your request refreshes my chronic suspicion, expressed on your talk page, that you are not here to write funny articles but to flog your adolescent crush on the Stargate babes (whether or not you are adolescent). For all of the above plus pestering me with six untimestamped posts after I replied, you are banned for three days. Spıke Ѧ 20:59 12-May-14

edit Ermahgerd

WHER DERD U DERLERT ERMAHGERD? The preceding unsigned comment was added by Areagle (talk • contribs)

Ladies and gentlemen, what language do you think it is that Areagle is speaking? Make your guesses now! 5,000$ to the first right answer! Anton (talk) 15:13, May 14, 2014 (UTC)
I deleted it because it was gibberish. Gibberish amuses you and is so unclever that it will not amuse the reader. It should be done in your own userspace, such as at User:Areagle/Ermahgerd. Spıke Ѧ 15:16 14-May-14

edit Some deleted files

I don't know if File:Gigantic tits.jpg violated any rule or was just unfunny where it was so you removed it, but there is now a broken file link at Category:Boobage. Also, there are plenty of other images probably needing restoring, which should belong to articles in Category:Pages with broken file links. Fro example, those:

Do you think they need to be re-uploaded? Anton (talk) 17:14, May 16, 2014 (UTC)

On Gigantic Tits, I probably saw a large number of links from talk pages and satisfied myself it was orphaned from mainspace, neglecting to check uses such as in Categories. On this one, the Category has a one-off template that scolds the user; it is best deleted. Will check the others presently. Spıke Ѧ 17:19 16-May-14
I restored one, removed the references to the deleted photo in two other cases, and for Escape.gif, I was unable to view it, so removed the references to it as well. Battle of Midway is full of cruft, of which I cleaned out a tiny bit. Failure to realize that you have to double-space to get a new paragraph is always a tip-off, and is almost always accompanied by crufty writing. I would not be hurt if you nominated it, nor the Antarctica article, where I'm not sure there is a point other than that the author can read Cyrillic. Spıke Ѧ 17:35 16-May-14
PS--Did you notice that TheDarthMoogle returned? Hint: He doesn't use his talk page but posts to the moon at Uncyclopedia:Sandbox. I replied there that you would probably do a biopic on him. Spıke Ѧ 17:36 16-May-14
I'll do that. Anton (talk) 12:55, May 17, 2014 (UTC)

edit The Commonwealth

While I see your point in your deletion log entry that articles do not usually have "The" in the title, as it is an article before the actual name, some things include the article in their name. "The Commonwealth" does have "the" in its name, as the Wikipedia article clarifies. (Other examples, The Art of War, The Simpsons etc.) Therefore I ask, could I please re-create the redirect The Commonwealth, considering that that is a legitimate name for it? Thanks. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:42, May 17, 2014 (UTC)

The Art of War and The Simpsons are these things' titles. The article in The Commonwealth, The United States, and El Perú is there not because it is the title but from convention that the thing is singular. It is no big deal that the Brit who prepends The to the name of The Only Commonwealth (in his experience) gets an article, but it is down the road to catering to misspelling, which we usually don't do. Spıke Ѧ 13:02 17-May-14
Yes, Wikipedia has not just your link but a link at WP:The Commonwealth, but I don't read that it has "the" in its name. I read that people refer to it as "the Commonwealth" (not The Commonwealth) because people use articles. Still doesn't argue for a redirect in my opinion. Spıke Ѧ 13:04 17-May-14
Unfortunately your little quip about my supposed British bias ignores the fact that even if I was blinded by patriotism to know of any other Commonwealth, I would know of the English Commowealth, which is a completely different organisation (well actually it was a country!). Also your redirect British Commonwealth is an out-of-date name for the Commonwealth so please don't judge my knowledge of Commonwealths on irrelevant stereotypes about me.
The Commonwealth makes more sense as a redirect than Commonwealth (which really would mean any commonwealth) and as few refer to it as "Commonwealth of Nations", I thought "The Commonwealth" would be the best name for the redirect as it is the largest commonwealth out there and people refer to it as that in the English speaking World. Even the website is Unless you have a way of distinguishing the word "Commonwealth" from the other commonwealths on this encyclopedia, then I would be happy to hear that suggestion.
This very much reminds me of the Public School article debate we had on its talkpage except the sides were reversed. I said change to Public School (US) to distinguish from the British meaning of public school, an independent posh schooling institution and you told me I was being pedantic. So please define the rules now as your decisions on the two rules contradict. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 14:48, May 17, 2014 (UTC)
I was not stereotyping you: "the Brit" means the British passer-by who wants to read an article on the Commonwealth. The URL is a slogan, not a name. Four of the 50 U.S. states are formally "commonwealths," and "The Commonwealth" is also a frequent way that a talk radio host here refers to Massachusetts, especially after when the Department of Children and Families loses a few dozen orphans or decides to rescue a girl from Connecticut from her domineering mother. Authors are free to code The [[Commonwealth]] or even [[The Commonwealth|Commonwealth of Nations]]. Uncyclopedia users who prepend "The" should no more meet success than users of a paper encyclopedia should find The United States in the "T" volume. Spıke Ѧ 17:02 17-May-14
PS--This is not analogous to our previous discussion; I am not arguing that "Commonwealth" should redirect to any of those four American states, though their residents are largely ignorant of the Commonwealth your article is about, which I agree is the more dominant use of the word; only asserting that a "The" prefix is not what we usually do. Spıke Ѧ 00:21 19-May-14

edit Did I adopt TheWikiMan026?

No you didn't--TheWikiMan026 Signature Talk 18:11, May 19, 2014 (UTC)

edit What the Hell happened with my home page?????????

As above my home page just disappeared. Any help? The preceding unsigned comment was added by TheWikiMan026 (talk • contribs)

Please sign your posts to talk pages. At 16:06 UTC, it seems you redirected it to The home page of TheWikiMan026, a move that will baffle everyone else as well. Upon further review, in fact, that is one of a half dozen things you did that will baffle everyone else and baffled you. Spıke Ѧ 17:49 10-May-14

edit Dialup → Dial-up

For some odd reason I can't move Dialup to Dial-up (as Dialup is not the proper name) Any help? --TheWikiMan026 Signature 17:36, May 12, 2014 (UTC)

You cannot move it to "Dial-up" as there is already something there, to-wit, a redirect to "Dialup". I would once again gently suggest that you put aside giving this website better organization than its other users have seen fit to give it and write a funny article. Spıke Ѧ 18:03 12-May-14

edit Delete an Article

I sandboxed an article and now don't need it. How can you delete it without VFD?--TheWikiMan026 Signature 19:00, May 14, 2014 (UTC)

The page you are looking for is QVFD. Spıke Ѧ 19:02 14-May-14

edit Unaccount

Can you log on with your unaccount on to Wikia and Wikia Wikis and other language versions of Uncyclopedia? --TheWikiMan026 Signature Talk 14:10, May 18, 2014 (UTC)

It is famous that you cannot. Uncyclopedians of past eras seem to have insisted and gotten a completely separate space for usernames. What's more, any name already taken elsewhere on Wikia is unavailable for use here. "To avoid confusion." Spıke Ѧ 14:13 18-May-14

edit Unspud

How can you change the unspud in the top left corner into a picture like your page or Sir ScottPat's page? --TheWikiMan026 Signature Talk 14:20, May 18, 2014 (UTC)

Tricks are discussed at UN:HAX. But why don't you concentrate less on tricks and templates and study what we have to say about writing funny stuff? Spıke Ѧ 15:54 18-May-14

edit Uncyclopedia

On the Uncyclopedia article it says "Do not add any more quotes or templates". But I would like to add this: User:TheWikiMan026/a Could I?--TheWikiMan026 Signature Talk 20:45, May 25, 2014 (UTC)

No. (1) The article certainly contains that warning after a long parade of n00bs trying to add Just One More thing and make it interminable and tedious; (2) The content pages never link into userspace; (3) {{Wikipedia}} already has several alternating legends; (4) Yours is not as good as any of them, as again, using the word "fucking" goes a long way to breaking the illusion that we are a serious encyclopedia, and a tiny way toward humor, except to certain people who think that saying the word to strangers is the height of comedy. Separately, please do not use this website to flog whatever happened to you at Wikipedia, but write funny stuff. Spıke Ѧ 22:21 25-May-14

edit Archiving

You said I shouldn't delete people's comments so when should I archive?--TheWikiMan026 Signature Talk 15:31, May 26, 2014 (UTC)

When your talk page gets uncomfortably long; hint, this one isn't. Spıke Ѧ 16:43 26-May-14

edit Signature

So something about your signature doesn't work in chrome causing the page to become just a mass of white, and I have no idea what or why. Thought this should be brought to your attention. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 12:24, May 19, 2014 (UTC)

It sounds like a bug that Anton199 reported to PuppyOnTheRadio that certain things weren't rendering correctly in the UnSignpost; I have not seen a response. My signature uses {{LinearGradient}}, which Puppy recently enhanced to work on all browsers (he seems to have one of each); no bugs were reported at the time. I cannot see the malfunction and suggest you back out his changes in the template and see if the bug still occurs. Spıke Ѧ 12:47 19-May-14
I use chrome and it works perfectly fine--TheWikiMan026 Signature Talk 20:24, May 19, 2014 (UTC)
Working fine now, thanks. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 09:07, May 21, 2014 (UTC)

edit Welcoming new users

“Your welcome file does not seem to correctly render the name of the user in question.”
~ Spıke Ѧ 

I don't know why but if you go on The file itself it works correctly Sir TheWikiMan026 CUN,UmP, (Chatter) Norn Iron Flag 20:59, June 22, 2014 (UTC)

I will tell you why. When you use <Noinclude>, it means you can see it in "the file itself" but not in the places you include it — obviously. I don't see why you put it there, nor why you can't copy a Welcome file literally. There is your answer. Fix it before you use it again. Spıke Ѧ 02:53 23-Jun-14

I don't know if TheWikiMan fixed it, but it worked when I put it on my talkpage. Anton (talk) 07:49, June 23, 2014 (UTC)
I got it: TheWikiMan, when you are adding this file to someone's talkpage, put subst: in front of its name, so it looks like {{subst:User:TheWikiMan026/Welcome}}

This will fix everything, and another benefit is that if you change the welcome template later or even delete it, it won't affect all the talkpage where you used it. Anton (talk) 07:54, June 23, 2014 (UTC)

When I go on the file itself it says <includeonly>--Sir TheWikiMan026 CUN,UmP, (Chatter) Norn Iron Flag 16:15, June 23, 2014 (UTC)

edit QVFD

Just felt a need to thank you quite personally for deleting that silly talk page I accidentally created. Gabriel Turner (talk) 11:24, May 20, 2014 (UTC)

Now I will have to go to the mag-tapes and see just how silly it was! Sorry for reverting two other of your edits this morning; I hope the Change Summaries explain it. Spıke Ѧ 11:26 20-May-14
Ah, yes, in fact I did look at it before deleting it. There is no reason to think that after we hand off a request to Wikipedia, Wikipedia would do an interwiki to itself. Spıke Ѧ 11:28 20-May-14

edit User:TheWikiMan026/HowTo:Get rid of Jehovah's Witnesses

What do you think of it? Does it deserve to be published? --TheWikiMan026 Signature Talk 20:58, May 21, 2014 (UTC)

Halfway ready for the HowTo: space. Suggestions: (1) Proofread it carefully and check your grammar. (2) Swears don't make it funnier except to you. (3) It has a Section 1 (with subsections) but not even a Section 2, what up with that? (4) Section 1.1 ought to be a paragraph, not just a list of things — Things aren't funny by themselves. (5) Don't invite the reader to edit; it's not encyclopedic (though it's less of a problem in HowTo's) but an invitation is implicit anyway. Spıke Ѧ 21:20 21-May-14

What about now?--TheWikiMan026 Signature Talk 19:48, May 22, 2014 (UTC)

The last section is too short, and it is the usual method I imagine that most JW's encounter. There's not enough humor in it. Perhaps there would be more humor in a method my roommate suggested once: the Orgy Method. (Answer the door nude, and invite the JW's in for the orgy, whether or not one is in progress.) Also, if you make clear that each of these sub-sections is a technique, you could suggest that it has to be done just so. This could be one method of improving the "two words" technique. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 20:03, May 22, 2014 (UTC)
Simsie will put you on the right track. My own technique is to yell to an empty house, "Margaret! Get my rifle!" Spıke Ѧ 01:21 23-May-14
I don't understand what yous are trying to say. What about if yous edit it to your liking?--TheWikiMan026 Signature Talk 11:49, May 24, 2014 (UTC)

Would you write the Get my rifle! thing onto it as I don't know how to tell it.--TheWikiMan026 Signature Chater 16:54, May 28, 2014 (UTC)

What's happened with the layout?--TheWikiMan026 Signature Talk 11:15, May 24, 2014 (UTC)

Please add your observations at Forum:Uncyclopedia's new layout. Spıke Ѧ 11:32 24-May-14

edit Unchristianity

On the Unchristianity template "Pope" directs you to Pope Benedict instead of Pope Francis--TheWikiMan026 Signature Talk 18:15, May 24, 2014 (UTC)

Thank you for your suggestion! When you feel an article needs fixin', please feel obligated to make whatever changes you feel are needed, (even though they'll probably be reverted 5 seconds later). Uncyclopedia is a wiki, so almost anyone can edit almost any article by almost simply following the edit link almost at the top. You don't even need to log in in most cases! (Although there are some reasons why you might like to...) The Uncyclopedia Cabal encourages you to be italic. Don't worry too much about making honest mistakes—they're likely to be found and corrected quickly, and your 6 month ban will fly by faster than you think. If you're not sure how editing works, check out proper wiki formatting, or use the sandbox to try out your vandalizing skills.
Spıke Ѧ 18:23 24-May-14

edit Woops

Sorry mate. I got no idea what happened there. I was just trying to link 1 video, and it looks like it's uploaded loads of other stuff. no idea why. I was not even using "upload". Serious. Very odd... Delete the lot if you like... my bad. MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 23:56, May 24

Wikia has been bringing YouTubes onto the site for more efficient rendering. The schmuck who first views the page triggers the 'bot and goes into the log as the "uploader." This means the stuff you "uploaded" was already on the page. Please decide whether it belongs there or is merely some unoriginal editor's attempt to get other people to watch his favorite YouTubes. Spıke Ѧ 00:03 25-May-14
I don't understand what I need to decide? I said "delete the lot" MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 00:09, May 25
What page were you viewing? If I delete them without eliminating their references on that page, the next person to view it will induce them to upload again. Spıke Ѧ 00:16 25-May-14
I have a contributions history. As you can see my last edit to this wiki was a revert on 19:59, 23 May 2014 (diff | hist) . . (+12,916)‎ . . User:RAHB ‎ (how RAHB left it) (top) ... I saved nothing on this wiki since then. I got no idea what's going on. It's very strange... MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 00:23, May 25
It doesn't happen when you save, it happens when you read. What were you reading? Spıke Ѧ 00:25 25-May-14
By "read" I assume you mean preview. It was preview, and save that it happened to me. If you handle direct video links like I do in places on my user and talk page then when you press preview or save it renders every direct linked string into the uploaded file name for you, but also uploads the files every time it does that render. It probably should not. MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 02:00, May 30
I thought it happened on read. But it's just as astonishing that a Preview would change the wiki, and that Uncyclopedians would be credited with (re-)uploading videos including some they would not have. I assume you will complain to Wikia; my complaint seems to have had no effect. Spıke Ѧ 02:25 30-May-14
Spike my old mate... Now you understand what I was trying to explain. Yep. On "Preview"? That's a kinda serious problem... Re me talking to wikia... I left this place partly because of things like that. I don't doubt that you are having trouble getting wikia to act. I had trouble myself when I was running this site. I have stepped down as admin on the other site also now, and am editing under the name "Jesus F Christ". I'm honestly enjoying editing pages now much more that I am not an admin. It's like all the pressure is lifted off. It's cool. Anyway, I'm not sure what to recommend you do about the preview bug, or whatever it is. Probably... Just don't worry about it for now, and worry about it later if it actually becomes a problem... MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 13:01, May 30
The only "bug" is Wikia's lack of concern about inserting actions into user logs that the users didn't take — rather more serious than their 2012 crusade against bare tits, but still not rising to the level of walking away. They've helped me diagnose bugs even when they were my own doing, but they have their own priorities, such as this month, straying further from the Wikipedia look. Yes, reviewing RecentChanges does come at the expense of creative work, but not totally; just had fun with Gretna Green and am now on the Donner Pass. We usually say "Jesus H Christ," though the H usually stands for a word that starts with F, very odd. Spıke Ѧ 13:12 30-May-14

It's kinda an important bug though because users could potentially upload hundreds of videos, just by previewing 1 page. Someone would have to delete them all everytime it happened. The users would be innocent also, as they had not even pressed save, and so would have not made a contribution to the wiki, so it would be unjust to ban them. Admins would not know if they had pressed save or preview, or if their motives were just or nefarious. I guess that would be like banning people for a 'thought crime', which now appears possible here... ... You could potentially get banned for thinking about saving a page now. The more times you think/preview about it the more times you could upload files which could get you banned. Anyway... Take care. MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 13:46, May 30

That is why I asked which page you were reading as the videos probably don't provide original humor in the first place, and it would be better to just rip them out. Generally, the conversion (recorded as an "upload") occurs once only, but we've seen exceptions. Spıke Ѧ 13:50 30-May-14

Why did you say that in BOLD ? Also, I have been very helpful for you here. Are you getting aggressive with me? I feel like you are. Why are you doing that? MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 14:15, May 30

edit Uncyclopedia:Pee Review

In the "Articles that need Reviewing" section could you, please, replace "category=Pee Review" with "category=Feedback requested"? This will make the pages that have been reviewed LITE display on the list, as articles still needing to be reviewed. Anton (talk) 10:19, May 30, 2014 (UTC)

This is done. It hasn't changed the listing right now, but at least it didn't break anything. Spıke Ѧ 10:25 30-May-14
Thanks! I'll check it again a bit later. Anton (talk) 10:27, May 30, 2014 (UTC)

edit Return of the Jedi

I get not wanting to dignify Star Trek Enterprise with an actual page; but Jedi not having a page when nameless council member guy gets one? I mean with the prequels it's no longer the worst Star Wars movie. Irritable of contents (talk) 03:51, June 2, 2014 (UTC)

It has nothing to do with what I think of Star Trek Enterprise. We simply don't want to have unfunny stubs littering the encyclopedia in case someone wants to communicate with you. To solicit a group edit, you might start a Forum topic at B.H.O.P. Uncyclopedia famously has neither consistency nor a guarantee that a major topic will be given the same prominence as a minor one. If dissatisfied, get to work! Spıke Ѧ 11:37 2-Jun-14

edit Graphium

Hi Spike. Please help me to delete my account, or if you can't, then request someone with the right to do so to execute it. Thanks. Graphium

Neither we nor anyone else deletes accounts nor covers tracks. You are welcome to go away and forget your password, but I am sorry to see you go. Spıke Ѧ 11:35 2-Jun-14

edit File:Uk layout.jpg

As you can see in the history of the image, I have tried loading up an image 3 times. The first and second images are the effect I want. I keep loading up the images but on the current image the writing disappears, but if I load up another copy of the image the writing appears back on the old one but there is no on the current version. (you're probably asking "What's the joke?" well it's mainly IRALAND)--TheWikiMan026 Chater Norn Iron Flag 20:18, June 2, 2014 (UTC)

I cannot see anything, as I usually run with images off (for economy), and don't have to switch them on to tell you that there is a latency problem with thumbnails of drafts when you upload a new version. If you think you've done it right, just wait...a few hours. Spıke Ѧ 20:25 2-Jun-14

As you know a signature is supposed to be a temple like {{User:SPIKE/signature}}. but when I sign it comes up as

<span class="sigexpand">[[User:TheWikiMan026|'''TheWikiMan026''']]<span class="sighidden">''Up Red, White & Blue!''</span></span> [[User talk:TheWikiMan026|Chater]] [[File:Norn Iron Flag.jpeg|17px]]

Even tough in my preferences it says


Any help?--TheWikiMan026Up Red, White & Blue! Chater Norn Iron Flag 18:15, June 3, 2014 (UTC)

When you follow the instructions, it will work. Spıke Ѧ 19:12 3-Jun-14
Chatter? --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 10:10, June 4, 2014 (UTC)
what's wrong with chatter?--Sir TheWikiMan026 CUN,UmP, (Chatter) Norn Iron Flag 16:36, June 4, 2014 (UTC)

The image works now--Sir TheWikiMan026 CUN,UmP, (Chatter) Norn Iron Flag 16:36, June 4, 2014 (UTC)

edit i am unbeatsr

after 3 block, I promised now and future I am here to contribute . But I have 2 account. unbeatsr and Hellowhiteccc. two account created at same time.just to tell you.please don't blocked me as sock.UNBEATSR09:06, June 4, 2014 (UTC)

I have no way of verifying the assertion that the two accounts are the same person, except to ask for a checkuser, which you are not worth. I do know that you are you, and you have done virtually nothing here but vandalize and troll. Hellowhiteccc has not done anything worthwhile, but in a couple cases cleaned up messes left by Unbeatsr.
As Unbeatsr asserts that there is sockpuppetry going on, one of the accounts must go. I pick yours. Spıke Ѧ 11:29 4-Jun-14

edit Ban

Please pass this on to admin SPIKE:

“To separate some guidance from your talk page into a file called "Fixed Problems," and then QVFD that file, is to try to expunge the fact that you were given the guidance.”
~ You

You said not to have a page like that so I QVFDed it.

“When you find a page that has adopted an American convention, such as the location of the day number at QVFD, do not assume it needs conversion to the British convention. (Or vice versa.)”
~ You

I just write dates like that. Nowhere on the QVFD policy does it say "Do not write dates the British way."

“When you see an "error" in the day's Featured Article, such as an assertion that Brits in distress dial 0800, do not "correct" it either. Because this is a humor wiki.”
~ You

OK, I didn't know what it meant

--Sir TheWikiMan026 CUN,UmP, (Chatter) Norn Iron Flag 17:42, June 6, 2014 (UTC)

Second point is an Uncyclopedian rule. Considering Uncyclopedia adopts many British ways of doing things such as the Order of Uncyclopedia, we let the Americans have some recognition by writing the dates the wrong way round in QVFD.
0800 is the start to phone numbers that charge the called and not the caller. How this can be linked to a Brit stereotype I'm not sure but I don't know the context of the "joke". Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:24, June 6, 2014 (UTC)
The joke is that, at some point in the life of this article, someone felt the need to qualify the citation of 911 (rather than 999) as the emergency phone number. I thought it would highlight the cluelessness of the encyclopedia editor to assert that Brits dial Freephone 0800 instead. Spıke Ѧ 19:29 6-Jun-14
If it is a comparison to US then, yes, it does work. Like I say I have no clue what article we are discussing or where the WikiMan is quoting from. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 06:21, June 7, 2014 (UTC)

Sorry about the "Please pass this on to admin SPIKE" as I writ this on Ghelae's Wikipedia page to pass this to you The preceding unsigned comment was added by TheWikiMan026 (talk • contribs)

"Writ"? Anton (talk) 14:37, June 7, 2014 (UTC)
What about it?--Sir TheWikiMan026 CUN,UmP, (Chatter) Norn Iron Flag 14:56, June 7, 2014 (UTC)
"I writ this"? Anton (talk) 15:01, June 7, 2014 (UTC)
Yes I writ that--Sir TheWikiMan026 CUN,UmP, (Chatter) Norn Iron Flag 16:59, June 7, 2014 (UTC)
Oh, ok. Just found a dictionary entry about this: "Writ - archaic past participle of write".Anton (talk) 17:03, June 7, 2014 (UTC)
Again Anton, the English language. Why the hell does the rest of the World bother to learn it! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:18, June 7, 2014 (UTC)
Technically, "Writ" is incorrect grammar but that's what you say in Fermanagh--Sir TheWikiMan026 CUN,UmP, (Chatter) Norn Iron Flag 17:42, June 7, 2014 (UTC)

edit User talk:TheWikiMan

When I was creating my unacount I was originally meant to be called TheWikiMan. There was something wrong and it didn't work so TheWikiMan doesn't exist.--Sir TheWikiMan026 CUN,UmP, (Chatter) Norn Iron Flag 18:30, June 7, 2014 (UTC)

edit Hey

So, um... there's that. The Bizarro Uncyc featured one of my articles recently, and I was notified by email. Coincidentally, I was doing my check for this decades email, and only knew and responded by chance. I actually don't know anything about this whole split thing, and suspect I don't care. Well, maybe a little bicurious... no, no... I promised myself I wouldn't go there.

Hope all is well with you. We are OK. Things are difficult, but then, so is golf. I hear. I don't care for it myself. Or guns. I don't care if anyone else has one, they just scare the hell out of me. Oh, look... you've made me pee myself thinking about guns... gotta go clean up.

Take care, dude. Continue to be Spike. Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 17:04, June 8, 2014 (UTC)

edit User:Meibion Glyndŵr

As you can see in the headline, I tried moving "User:ConCass2/Meibion Glyndŵr" to a main-space page, but something went wrong and now I'm stuck with this monstrosity which I can't move from the user-space, I assume it's because only admins can, since it says "You do not have permission to do this". Can you help out on this? ConCass2 (talk) 21:25, June 10, 2014 (UTC) - on the other hand, would pasting the source of the article into a "Meibion Glyndŵr" page and then Quick VFDing this user space one work? ConCass2 (talk) 21:28, June 10, 2014 (UTC)

You are the latest to be trapped by our fancy advanced user interface. If moving to mainspace, you must use the pulldown menu so it does not continue to point to User: space. (If you can see the Move button, you have permission to use it. You don't have permission to delete a page if there were already one at the destination. Spıke Ѧ 21:46 10-Jun-14
PS--You tried a second time and got this right. But all that was left at the source address was the redirect to your article at the wrong address, and that is what you moved. Spıke Ѧ 21:54 10-Jun-14


Hi Spike! Have you noticed the main Uncyclopedia logo is overwriting custom logos on user pages including your talk page? -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 20:20, June 11, 2014 (UTC)

I had not, as I only view the meat and not the bread. It could well be something I did. But Wikia changed the page coding, as mentioned at Forum:Thumbnails are broken. I'll look into it, but perhaps it will have to wait until I'm at the library. Spıke Ѧ 21:02 11-Jun-14
I can see (in MediaWiki:Common.js) that function logotipo() takes pains to ensure that the custom logo is installed early. (There is a comment just below the function that it is ugly to see the potato for a split-second before the change.) And Wikia's "lazy load" change of last year seeks to postpone some operations, famously the Table of Contents, to accelerate the load of text content. On computers, if two operations are separated in time, the later one has a nagging tendency to prevail. I seem to recall this being reported before — ScottPat, do you remember? Spıke Ѧ 21:32 11-Jun-14
Now reported to Wikia (bug report #141014). Spıke Ѧ 21:59 11-Jun-14

PuppyOnTheRadio researched this and found that the key was that JavaScript was switched off. {{Logo}} and {{Nologo}} are available to remove the potato logo from a page, to replace it with an author-specified logo, and in fact to drop an author-specified illustration on top of the potato, as in our "Featured Article" logo. The templates can add content and fix it at a location on the page, but our only way to remove stuff from a page is to write code in JavaScript (which, again, is in MediaWiki:Common.js), triggered by the code inserted by the template. If you run with JavaScript off, you may indeed see two photos where you only want one. The stuff seems to be working exactly as described, and I will owe Wikia an apology for another wild-goose chase. Spıke Ѧ 14:54 16-Jun-14

edit Hallo

I see you've got some fingers. those are nice fingers. Uhh. Communicate... breathe. in. out. in out. Hi. My name is Fonchezzz. Uh. I came back here. And I'm wearing my nicest shoes and a sweatervest. I tried to make myself presentable. Is uh. Articles. Those are written here. How about those.............. weathers? Clouds right? Hopefully it's sunny this weekend. yeah?--User:Fonchezzz/sig 16:42, June 17, 2014 (UTC)

edit Memory Delta wiki images

Can you please upload 26 images to my wiki, Memory Delta wiki. Can you upload them today, thanks. Beanna. Please upload the images to my wiki, today. Beanna.


The answer is the same as the last time you asked. I have no account there. I cannot upload anything there. Uncyclopedia is not your disk farm, nor a home for masturbation fodder. Your articles are not funny. Your photos are gone. You are banned. Spıke Ѧ 02:50 23-Jun-14

Spike, I added quite a few things to Helen Magnus, so could I please have it back, in my userspace for example? if Beanna is banned, I'll work on it alone, and he can help me if he returns. Anton (talk) 07:27, June 23, 2014 (UTC)

There you go. Let me know if you would like a moderate number of the associated illustrations. Spıke Ѧ 11:10 23-Jun-14

Ah, no, I'll find my own. Thanks! Anton (talk) 13:34, June 23, 2014 (UTC)

edit Special:CloseMyAccount

I found this special page, which allows you to disable your account. (When you are afraid it might get hacked, I presume, and you don't need it.) In the past, some people have asked to delete their accounts, so maybe if there are more such occasions redirecting them to that page would be a good idea? It works well (I tested it).

Separately, thank you for making the introduction of Napoleonic Wars readable! I was mainly searching for logical connection between the different jokes that were there, and you helped a lot! Anton (talk) 11:19, June 24, 2014 (UTC)

This is remarkable, as I have often been told the opposite, and have repeated to newbies that they cannot close an account but merely abandon it (and fight us when we undo their page-blanking). Glad your test didn't work too well. Let me contact Wikia and see what the status of this is. 11:30 24-Jun-14 My query is Bug Report #142613. Spıke Ѧ 11:47 24-Jun-14
I just reactivated it after. You are allowed to reactivate an account within a thirty days period after it's closed. Anton (talk) 16:05, June 24, 2014 (UTC)

Wikia's Tim Quievryn replies: "Thanks for contacting Wikia. Grunny, who helped write the extension, has tested it extensively on Uncyc and says it should work there just the same as it does on "normal" Wikia." He didn't directly answer the policy question, but I presume that since Wikia wrote it and tested it here, they intend that it be available for Uncyclopedians' use. Spıke Ѧ 16:47 26-Jun-14

edit Using blocks to make regular contributors adhere to guidelines instead of using it for just vandals

Seriously, most of the time this just isn't even necessary. You think a 12 hour block is any more effective at making somebody read a policy page than simply asking them to on their talk page? This ain't wikipedia, every time you unnecessarily block a user just for disobeying some tiny rule you suck the fun out of it and make this place more like wikipedia (wikipedia isn't even this strict). That is why users rage quit, abuse of the block function when a simple "Hey now, can you not do *insert action here*" on the talk page would suffice.

The block function exists to stop disruptive users not to stamp out every new comer that you deem has stepped out of line. I've seen administrators loose their privileges on other Wiki's for giving out blocks when the talk page would do the same job, and frankly if I was a bureaucrat on this wiki I'd be very strongly thinking about it. Having said that, you do get it right most of the time, it's just the sometimes that you don't that concerns me. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 04:48, June 25, 2014 (UTC)

It's a judgement call Frosty. If Spike has got it wrong, he admits to it. I prefer leaving messages on a user's page if I think they are going off the rails. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 07:44, June 25, 2014 (UTC)
My general concern is that getting this judgement call wrong over and over chases away users before they have the chance to find their feet. It takes months not days for a user to get to grips with every single policy we have and why it's there. I'm mainly asking for more patience and the block button to be used sparingly against newbies that do the wrong thing without realizing it. Sorry for appearing angry about this, but it's been proven over and over again to chase away users. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 08:35, June 25, 2014 (UTC)
Not closing a ballot is no more a mere "guideline" than "Don't forge votes" is a guideline. This whole VFD thing is a kid offering to be a chauffeur and driving the car into a ditch before the reply. As I told Anton199 above, 24 hours is usually de rigueur for VFD things, and I gave him 12, a quantity discount. Another rule of thumb is that Admins don't countermand one another before discussing it. In this case, a simple push on the talk page doesn't register; we've been there; see above and in archive. Spıke Ѧ 10:59 25-Jun-14
PS--In fact, he did not close the ballot "as any Admin would have done." Not when the Admin is the same one who rewrote the article under vote. For me to edit an article and then assert that the ballot is moot would be presumptuous. In fact, I was waiting for confirmation by a slightly more senior editor before Master TWM stepped in and declared the question settled. Spıke Ѧ 14:38 25-Jun-14

edit Deleting the VFH nomination

That was just petty and nasty. What the hell is your problem SPIKE?!?!?!!!?? --ShabiDOO 18:20, June 25, 2014 (UTC)

Why was it deleted? --Mimo&Maxus (Talk) 21:15, June 25, 2014 (UTC)
It is astonishing to claim that deleting a VFH nomination where nominator starts the voting at +4 reflects a bad attitude, while the continual name-calling above (now moved to User talk:TheWikiMan026) does not. The VFH nomination was re-filed correctly. All is well except the sniping. Spıke Ѧ 12:17 26-Jun-14
Why couldn't you just fix the score? :P --Mimo&Maxus (Talk) 12:57, June 26, 2014 (UTC)
So nasty and petty. --ShabiDOO 18:44, June 26, 2014 (UTC)
Op was banned for a week for persistent incivility — a decision that other active Admins reviewed — and disabled his account across Wikia.
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