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edit Introduction joke

Thanks for the modification of the introduction and the picture, it's much better this way (I started this article 2 years ago but was too lazy to end it so I published it the way it is even though I had more ideas but no time to implement them). As a French contributor, this is the first time I write an article directly in English, I usually translate articles I originally made in French on Désencyclopédie. This is not a signature - WiiKend Magritte 20:04, November 14, 2013 (UTC)

Thank you! But I couldn't help noticing — The ending needs work too! Also, the article is written more like a comic book than an encyclopedia article. What you have would work better as a pictorial section of examples, after a funny explanation in prose. Romartus is our wizard in the Humanities and might be able to contribute with disastrous speeches throughout history. Spıke Ѧ 20:23 14-Nov-13

edit USERNAME template abuse

I didn't say delete the Username template abuse article. This article is extremely funny, I was asking if the article can be on the category pages that look like the things they're about. The preceding unsigned comment was added by BetterSkatez2012 (talk • contribs)

I know you didn't say to delete it. The category does fit. If you like it, you had better vote to save it. It doesn't make the reader laugh; it either annoys him or confuses him. Spıke Ѧ 03:50 17-Nov-13
Or, simply causes the infamous Facepalm. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 03:54, November 17, 2013 (UTC)
No, in cases where the page works, I think it produces annoyance (maybe worry) rather than exasperation. Spıke Ѧ 04:07 17-Nov-13

edit Ban of Aleister

Don't you think it's a little to much to ban an established user for two weeks because of a ban evasion? Apperantly, your point has been taken and Aleister started using the four tildes. It's natural for him to be a little irritated right now; After all, a two days ban wasn't really necessary. Please, consider removing the ban or changing the block settings. --Mimo&Maxus (Talk) 17:00, November 17, 2013 (UTC)

The original ban was a difficult decision, as is what to do about the star athlete who runs red lights, parks in the teachers' lot, and takes pride in flouting the most basic rules. The increment — when he cutely flouted the ban itself — was automatic. Yes, Aleister executed a standard signature, before hiding it, before hiding the entire message. This is more of the same, and it is simple ban evasion. He knows the rules; if anything, it is to continue to assert that it is simply improper to expect him to follow any of them. Spıke Ѧ 19:51 17-Nov-13
Aleister probably would have conceded your point amicably if he wasn't thoroughly attacked throughout the messages (over a time stamp). In your message you belittle his style of interacting with users, berate him for fraternizing on talk pages, goad him for his "cutsie" behaviour, ridicule his free spirit, moan that he isn't dedicating his actions enough to writing and insinuate that he doesn't know how to behave by the most basic standards of group interaction. Why do you talk down to users like this? --ShabiDOO 17:52, November 17, 2013 (UTC)
Recall that the ban was not over a timestamp. The ban occurred after he replied to my request, admittedly not as timid and deferential as it could have been, with explicit contempt for the rule. Spıke Ѧ 19:51 17-Nov-13
But he did not have the time to change his opinion. Anton (talk) 20:18, November 17, 2013 (UTC)
Sorry to butt in, I just came across this thread at random. Guys, guys, guys, we're all friends here. There must be some way you fine gentlemen can find a middle ground and discuss these issues amicably? --Lucifuge Rofacale (talk) 03:32, November 18, 2013 (UTC)
The Cabal has decided that the most likely explanation is that we were pranked. The bans are off. Spıke Ѧ 11:48 18-Nov-13

Ah, lovely. --Lucifuge Rofacale (talk) 07:16, November 19, 2013 (UTC)

edit User:Mctomerd11/borax

My precious....Thanks for the help sorry my bad is English. Israel is here! Daemon Israel 13:17, November 18, 2013 (UTC)

You're welcome! Now, does the organization of this story mean that you really intend to set out a Greek version of history and a separate Turkish version? That will make the theme of the article a conflict that is not vital to the typical reader. I suggest a unified treatment, and deal with Greece vs. Turkey at most in a section that comes later. Spıke Ѧ 13:24 18-Nov-13
actually there are 3 versions, first is the Greek version, second is the Turkish and third is the Real version. Israel is here! Daemon Israel 13:30, November 18, 2013 (UTC)
Then I beg you to follow my suggestion, as the typical reader is not intimate enough with the tasty Borek to want to read about it three different ways motivated by various national agendas. Spıke Ѧ 13:54 18-Nov-13
Can i combine them together? Israel is here! Daemon Israel 14:00, November 18, 2013 (UTC)
You can do anything you want to. But a section in the form, "the Greeks say....but the Turks say....but the real story is" is equally likely to drown comedy in geopolitics that is not vital to us (especially readers in North America and Australia). Take the funniest stuff, make it flow, and make it seem superficially authoritative, rather than self-conflicted. An article where the authors are fighting among themselves can be done right, but it's hard, especially in a foreign language. It may be lost on the reader. Spıke Ѧ 14:13 18-Nov-13
but borek isn't Israeli humor... and all the jokes are translatable, And this is really like this its an actual parody to everyone that copying each other and saying that its their invention. Israel is here! Daemon Israel 15:19, November 18, 2013 (UTC)
Well, bring it on and let's see how it works. Spıke Ѧ 15:27 18-Nov-13
To extend the joke, we also have the Italian Calzone, the apple turnover (which can become the American Apple pie quite easily), and the Australian meat pie floater (which is a meat pie suspended in pea soup).                               Puppy's talk page09:12 pm 18 Nov 2013
What you have now (History from Greek to Roman) doesn't depend on a nation's claim to have invented it. Perhaps have a single rendition of the classical history, followed by a section on competing claims to have invented the "modern borek." Spıke Ѧ 21:18 18-Nov-13

edit Featured Articles

When I was adding a link to Chunkles article I came across this article. It is full of ancient examples (Kitten Huffing) which predate nearly everyone who is on here these days - bar Sannse. We can either update it or link straight to Uncyclopedia:Best of. Or perhaps a disambiguation page. What do you think? --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 13:13, November 19, 2013 (UTC)

That is a bit of navelism that breaks no new ground but revels in past accomplishments — like the rock song that merely serves as a container for titles of previous hits — and slides an opinion into the Intro that no one who has been featured as I have is equally worthy. I think that anyone who clicks on this wants to see Best Of; I also think that "How to write a FA" (that is, how not to concentrate on humor and quality but on winning a vote) should be a non-goal. However, courtesy to Gerard, Lyons, et al. requires a vote at VFD.
Separately, does my new Potter Stewart have enough to amuse a non-American? Spıke Ѧ 13:24 19-Nov-13
I've amended the redirect from Featured article to UN:BEST, given the above. Most of the other links to this page are from non-content spaces. Given there is some value (relating to 2005/06 Uncyc?, and it's not poorly written, I'd rather this were moved to Uncyclopedia:Featured article (with the friendlier capitalisation and non-pluralism). This could be done without VFD process. The individual couple dozen links I'd then look at to determine which page would be more appropriate to link to, as I'd rather not leave a redirect from content to non-content space behind.                               Puppy's talk page08:06 am 20 Nov 2013
Better. Spıke Ѧ 12:38 20-Nov-13

edit Potter Stewart

Works for me - purely because “I know it when I see it” was a large enough gaffe that it pervaded my consciousness, despite not knowing the originator. Even without that prior knowledge I think it would still translate. “…smoke but not inhale…” and “…cowboy president…” may not translate quite as well. Early life starts a little randumbo, but comes back fairly quickly, so not enough to demand changing, but I would encourage it. The 2012 tax bill I know nothing about, but Australia had a recent Carbon Tax/Pricing Scheme - which I feel the misnomer there was more on the use of “carbon” instead of “carbon emissions”, rather than the tax aspect. I wanted to see something along the lines of “I don't know much about art, but I know what I like” in there as well. Hope that answers the bulk of your simple question.                               Puppy's talk page08:46 am 20 Nov 2013

Thank you for your review! which I gave a straight title for the benefit of drive-by readers. To the contrary, the balanced references to Clinton and G.W.Bush are sufficiently announced as American to hope to buy forbearance from readers elsewhere, and the stuff that seems random is in fact a close parallel to the Wikipedia biography and not random at all (his mother was born "Harriet Potter") to people who knew this stuff more than I did. Americans are the target audience, though let me create a redirect at I know it when I see it. The "tax bill" is Obama-care, which is still very much on the public mind here, though this paragraph may want to be rewritten once we forget how much furniture at the Supreme Court had to be upended to uphold it. Spıke Ѧ 12:21, 12:38 20-Nov-13
Ah - knowing the Harriet Potter reference is accurate changes that completely. It also adds weight to the Sturm and Drang/Durmstrang/Skull and Bones line, which I really like. Maybe naming the reference to Obama care would help those not as au fait with US politics - and hopefully add more longevity, as there is a potential that Obama care will be completely forgotten as soon as Obama is no longer in office.                               Puppy's talk page05:32 pm 20 Nov 2013

edit Mimo resigns as VFD Poopsmith

Hi Spike. You're the user I mostly talked to, and you told me to let you know if I was taking a "leave" from Uncy so here it is. I don't want to stop contributing, especially now that I found something useful to do, but for personal reasons I've got to go! I'll be back though, even if that's going to be in a year or two (JK, you'll probably see me editing again in a few more months). So, please, kiss everyone else for me, and... See ya', I guess! --Mimo&Maxus (Talk) 15:39, November 22, 2013 (UTC)

Who is she Spıke Ѧ 15:44 22-Nov-13
Seriously, thank you for faithful daily poopsmithing of VFD, and for your photo collaboration on various articles. And hurry up back; bail is easier to obtain than you may think. Spıke Ѧ 16:17 22-Nov-13
What kind of woman would go out with a poopsmith?                               Puppy's talk page09:34 pm 24 Nov 2013


Could you take a look at this article and decide whether it deserves to be nommed on VFD as I am not sure? Thanks. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 22:35, November 23, 2013 (UTC)

It is blatant vanity by sporadically active Admin Mordillo, the Chief Justice's only role being to put it on VFD and take it back off again. Go for it and see if you still think I am ban-happy. Spıke Ѧ 00:04 24-Nov-13
Learn your history young ones. This was part of a contest ran a couple of years back, that allowed for an article to be written in 60 minutes after which all articles in the contest were placed in VFD, and voted to remain or to be killed. That article was written in collab by myself and Under user. It survived VFD alongside several other articles. I don't see why this should be placed in VFD again. ~Jewriken.GIF 09:36, November 28, 2013 (UTC)
Puppy discloses this aspect of the history on VFD, and Aleister makes the absurd claim that contestants were promised that their unfunny articles would be immune from ever being deleted, a promise that was to bind future Uncyclopedians even after those making the promise quit and a future generation tried to make the website amusing to the reader. The rules do permit it to be renominated. Spıke Ѧ 11:56 28-Nov-13
I see nothing absurd about it. There was a community decision back then (and you are welcome to dig through the forums to find it) that this is the way it's will work for those specific articles. You want to change community decisions, have a proper discussion about it and vote. It's no different than deleting VFHs or PLS articles (though granted, it's different kind of quality). ~Jewriken.GIF 15:53, November 28, 2013 (UTC)
I should make a point here. I was the one who nominated it, and I recall the article in an hour competitions. I know we decided at the time that the articles would go through VFD and that was the way we would determine the “winners” of the competition, but I don't recall us putting a moratorium on deleting these articles after the event. Happy to be proven wrong.
My thought patterns were as to wether the article were funny to an audience outside of the community here. Even assuming we had the same user base now as we did three years ago, a random reader stumbling across this wouldn't understand the humour in it. It has survived three years since that article was written, which given it's limited appeal is a good run.
As for getting a community consensus - VFD does get a community consensus. I made sure people were aware this was a competition winner when I added the article - I'm not trying to hide that at all, or pull a fast one. But I genuinely don't remember stating that these articles would be protected against deletion ad infinitum. (I'd have no issue with Testicular expansion being nominated, although I'm not sure how I'd vote. Descentiousness is different simply because it did become a feature.)                               Puppy's talk page07:10 pm 28 Nov 2013
VFD has the plenary power to delete any article. I nominated FA Godzilla vs. Urethra, after asking Mhaille to rewrite it, as its illustrations cannot survive the recent Wikia drive against obscenity, and its humor cannot survive the loss of its illustrations. The "community" that promised Mordillo his slapdash article would be cast in stone has quit; as has Mordillo, except when it serves him to return. And his notion that the burden is on me to open a Forum, and to research his archives (otherwise his decisions will remain in permanent effect) is contemptuous. Spıke Ѧ 19:23 28-Nov-13
I looked:
In both cases the rules state “After this period of judgment is over, all VFD noms that were taken off will be replaced and operations will resume as normal.” Adding these articles to VFD (or VFH) is normal operations, as far as I can see. Nothing to suggest that we were preserving these articles beyond the standards of any other article. Happy for anyone to illustrate a communal vote that suggests otherwise.                               Puppy's talk page07:37 pm 28 Nov 2013
A page like this does no harm, and some people like it very much. It's not like the wiki is a physical book, and each page follows the last. This is electronic chaff, and pages which are never looked at by anyone take up no space and do not exist unless somehow found in a category or a link. This particular page has no obscenities, nor does it offend anyone in any other way, so I'm glad it was saved. I still like my page from that contest, to which I only added a couple of pics and two vid links. We are lucky we were online that night that it was sprung on the site. And if you guys didn't get the news, Comet ISON is now IGONE, it disintegrated in its sun loop and there is no trace of it coming out the other side. Sad day for sky watchers (sigh). Aleister 20:32 28-11-13


Nearly 5 years ago… was planted on the front page without a successful VFH vote (but after an unsuccessful one 11 months prior). It had a hidden FA template stamped on it, which makes it appear on any system generated list of features. It also means due to admin dickery at the time it is protected ad infinitum from editing, or for VFD nomination. It has had its time as an in-joke, and was never a very good one at that. Can you remove the FA status from it, given it had never earned it, so I can add it to VFD?                               Puppy's talk page09:32 pm 24 Nov 2013

It is de-protected (retains its protection against new users and Anon based on FA) and you can nominate it. I'm inclined to vote Keep based on the history on the talk page. I don't have (nor want) fonts installed by which to actually see either snowman, but anyone who manages to type it deserves what he gets. Spıke Ѧ 21:46 24-Nov-13
Let me recant the above. My usual standard is to judge an article on what the reader sees, and a page that takes one of the niche characters of UNICODE, and does nothing but make a wisecrack about it, is not a proper Uncyclopedia article. Cutesy but not funny. Perhaps there is another way to preserve the history. Spıke Ѧ 13:37 25-Nov-13

edit I love what you've done with the place

I've never edited much here, but I've always been of the opinion that Uncyclopedia should be more like Wikipedia. Keep up the good work! 00:57, November 25, 2013 (UTC)

Given that I don't know who you are, you sadly gave no details, and the several editors who think that Uncyclopedia should be more like Illogicopedia would take your remark as proof-of-failure, I will simply reply: Thanks, Mom! Spıke Ѧ 13:37 25-Nov-13

Memo: This IP would go on to create the section You should choke on your own shit on 6-Dec-13, and once that ban expired, go on a blanking spree of SPIKE's contributions on 21-Mar-14. Spıke Ѧ 18:53 21-Mar-14

edit Template:Writing funny stuff

Excellent work Spike! That template pulls in a number of pages scattered throughout the wiki in one place. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 08:07, November 28, 2013 (UTC)

I knew that an illustration for a template on writing funny stuff had to involve a blood-soaked knife. The crucifixion scene from Life of Brian would also work, and in fact this could vary using <choose>. Spıke Ѧ 11:56 28-Nov-13

edit UnSignpost issues

Could you, please, unportect several UnSignpost issues, so they can be moved? They are:

  1. Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/02-04-09
  2. Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/05-08-08
  3. Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/05-15-08
  4. Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/05-36-08
  5. Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/07-03-08
  6. Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/07-24-08

If I find more, I will inform you. Thanks! Anton (talk) 14:25, November 28, 2013 (UTC)

Or I could just move them, as they presumably want to be protected wherever they wind up, for the same reason they are now. To where, then? 15:13
Never mind; looking further back in the history, I see what you are up to. Spıke Ѧ 15:15 28-Nov-13
¡Gracias! Anton (talk) 15:40, December 1, 2013 (UTC)

edit User:BetterSkatez2012/HowTo:Get_struck_by_lightning

Does this page look funny enough to be flushed down the mainspace toilet? The preceding unsigned comment was added by BetterSkatez2012 (talk • contribs)

You are on the right track toward the tone of a HowTo:. However, I guarantee that if you put this unfinished work with no pictures, backwards boldfacing, uncorrected grammar, and nearly no content, into mainspace, you would be the one flushed, especially after that stunt yesterday where you put a calling-card in mainspace with nothing in it but a request for its own deletion. Spıke Ѧ 14:08 1-Dec-13
This article in your userspace does have pictures now, but the first sentence need not be bold text, and it still seems unfinished. It is missing something, a build-up to the joke. It does need more content. Why start with the unsafe method first? This is not made clear in the article. Was this just a spur of the moment decision? Also, not everyone who opens an umbrella in a thunderstorm gets hit by lightning. Maybe the situation (the narrator is high in a tree, or up on top of a hill or has a lightning rod installed in the umbrella, or a kite with a key on the string, attached to the umbrella) could be clarified. I hope these ideas can help improve your article. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 22:09, December 2, 2013 (UTC)

edit User:Pleck/St math‎‎

Spike, Regarding your comment:

That is not how you go about deleting an article. You tag the article in question with {{VFD}} but create the ballot at Votes for Deletion. However, the article you nominated is not in the main encyclopedia at all but in someone's private userspace. Even if your claims are true, we will not delete it unless the user in question tries to install it in the encyclopedia. Do not screw with the userspaces of other Uncyclopedians.

I like your site and was willing to play by your rules to remove content in poor taste. However, you are mincing words and hiding behind your policy on the "main encyclopedia" to avoid the problem. "Private userspace" is still a public menace when it shows up on a Google search that is initiated by a child. Consider that you are protecting a pedophile who is using your site to attract innocent children. Now, do you want to delete the content or not? --HilariousJoe (talk) 19:44, December 3, 2013 (UTC)

I assume that DefamationLegal, who has gone back into this page and simply deleted the material in question, is you under a new username. This username, who substituted "Searching for SPIKE" and a vague legal threat, is permabanned.
The material in question seems to be disparaging the ST Math website but not "protecting a pedophile." Throwing around charges of pedophilia (or Nazi or gay) is a cheap form of humor that we actively discourage in our manual at How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid, but it does not mean the charges are true. Our website seems to have no other references to ST Math at all. No, I am not going to delete it, though I will mention it to our webhost. Why don't you be a better parent? Probably because you aren't a parent at all but willing to write whatever you think will work in order to stop someone from making fun of your website. Spıke Ѧ 19:50 3-Dec-13

Spike, I don't really understand your defensiveness, or your need to make accusations and assumptions. You seem to question my intentions and associate me with a former opponent of yours. I am not DefamationLegal. I am a parent, an educator, and a community leader. Why am I taking the time to delete the content? Tens of thousands (if not hundreds of thousands) of grade K-5 students search the "ST math" and "JiJi" terms everyday to do homework that their teachers have assigned. To have one of your users take advantage of that juvenile traffic to parade around sexually provocative words like "ChiChi," "penis," "pervert" and "pedophilia" should be a concern of yours, and of your webhost. If a site user simply wants to make fun of a website, or an animated character, there's no problem. However, as you've acknowledged above, the user is using cheap humor that you do not endorse or encourage. As a non-parent, you may not agree that the content is inappropriate, and would prefer to protect the free speech rights of the user, but you need to understand the consequences of that.--HilariousJoe (talk) 21:19, December 3, 2013 (UTC)

Since our previous conversation:
  • Someone has contacted our webhost and she has deleted the article. (I had contacted her too, but she replied that Admins should handle this on our own--which I had done.)
  • She reminds me by the deletion summary that it was I who removed this article from the main encyclopedia originally, calling it a poor-quality article that was possibly libelous. She says the author never returned to work on it.
  • There are a thousand other cases in which youngsters using Google can find "provocative" words like penis; and no, I do not need to understand the consequences of that at all, nor does A need to come to terms when B makes a legal utterance to C. Free speech is our birthright; pleasant outcomes is not.
  • I did not mistake you for any "former opponent. I am sorry I mistook you for the other troll. But when two new "Uncyclopedians" arrive on the same day to posture and threaten about a quiescent article in userspace, there is some connection.
  • In the meantime, I have written ST Math, which I hope contains higher-quality ridicule of your product. Spıke Ѧ 22:28 3-Dec-13

edit Doncaster


I was wondering if you had any thoughts on my first proper effort? It's a little bit dry in places due to a dangerous flirtation with the truth at times, but I'm hoping that that has done more good than harm to the final result. KindaCertain (talk) 20:35, December 3, 2013 (UTC)

Seems pretty good, though the meta-question of whether stuff in Uncyclopedia is true or not should be downplayed (at most, to something such as "no, seriously" in my UnNews Audios) and not brought out as a footnote. Flirtation with the truth is the key to really good comedy, plus enough hints to the reader who doesn't know it's the truth. The occasional use of the first/second person detracts, as does the dalliance with obscenity (unless it's so rare as to be completely unexpected). A little proofreading and this could run on the main page. Spıke Ѧ 20:45 3-Dec-13

edit My Wario article

Hey Spike, did you delete my article because it used the word "gay" or "incest"? Or because I'm making crap up about a completely fictional character? I don't think that's cyberbullying. By the way, just to let you know, I wasn't being malicious. I was parodying articles that are completely absurd and surreal in content like Gay Luigi. --Dorkadorkreece (talk) 05:44, December 6, 2013 (UTC)

I can't speak for Spike, but he is unlikely to delete content due to the words “gay” or “incest”. I did have a read through the re-creation of the article in the sandbox though, and it's something I would be inclined to delete myself.
It's not funny. You mention you were “making crap up” about a fictional character, which can be funny, but in order to make it funny it needs to be something the reader can relate to. A completely fictional character is something you need to make real in the eyes of your audience before we can be amused by him - that takes a significant amount of effort and skill. Peppering that with memes (Gay Luigi for example) doesn't make it funny. Throwing in that someone is incestuous or gay also doesn't make it funny. The closer that you can get to the truth of a topic while bringing to light the absurdity of the topic the better.
Have a look at Bruce Wayne as an example. Jokes about “Batman and Robin are gay” have been done before, and can be funny, but if that was the whole of the article it would be dull. Going through the absurdity of the character piecemeal - while keeping it as close to the original story as possible - is what makes for the funny.
As an aside, re-creating deleted material is a bannable offence. If you want to work on a Wario article then you can do it in your namespace, and a request to any admin to restore the deleted article into your namespace is likely to be done without argument. I don't see much potential for humour here - rehashing a meme and adding randumbo does not make a good article - but if you want to take the time to polish this then you do have that option.                               Puppy's talk page06:43 am 06 Dec 2013
In fact, Puppy does speak for me. We have no way of knowing that your character is "completely fictional" and that you aren't using Uncyclopedia to say mean things about your actual uncle, which we take seriously.
His other point is right too. Gay Luigi can be funny because the reader is likely to know who Luigi is and have some vague opinion about him. No one knows Wario. If this means Mario, then your article is based on a pun and the reader has to guess your pun to read your joke. That doesn't mean you can't do it in your userspace, only that if moved to the main encyclopedia, it would be unlikely to amuse the reader. And an article that parodies another article that is bad, is likely to be just baffling.
Finally, you ought not do this in the Sandbox, mostly because there is only one Sandbox and no guarantee that someone else will not start doing something else there. Spıke Ѧ 09:06 6-Dec-13
Spike, I can confirm that Wario is in fact, a video game villain, and one of Mario's nemesis's, provided that no last name is used, but merely the term "Wario". Wikipedia has an article about Wario if you need to know more details. However, thinking that a statement like "Wario is gay" stands on its own as funny is quite ignorant, and violates HTBFANJS guidelines.
It would be funnier to describe Wario in a way that implies that he is gay, without actually coming out and saying that he is gay, but rather dancing around the topic. It would actually be funnier to suggest that Wario and Luigi are rivals for the same desirable male mate, and that Wario's dastardly in-game actions were the result of that rivalry. A story is usually funnier than a one liner, just in case the original writer of the article is reading this. I would be willing to restore the article back to userspace if there was real intent to develop the article into more than just a one-liner. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 19:06, December 6, 2013 (UTC)
Thanks for that help. However, Dorkadorkreece got much further in the Sandbox than the not-quite-one sentence in the deleted file. Spıke Ѧ 19:10 6-Dec-13

edit World War VI and World War III

Please i want to see what the articles looked like so please move the deleted pages into User:TotalCuddles02/World War VI and User:TotalCuddles02/World War III respectively and also restore the deleted images. --TC02 (Chat with me) 23:19, December 8, 2013 (UTC)

Being deleted means you don't get to see what they look like. Take my word for it (or read the archives of VFD), they were deleted for being crap articles on the Wacky War theme. If you create another article whose title is the words "World War" and some random Roman numeral, it will already have two strikes against it as just another article about nothing real. Instead, concentrate on writing funny things rather than imitating or adapting something that was voted not to be funny at all. Separately, please do what I asked you to do about your signature, then read the rest of UN:SIG and create a signature file for the reasons explained there. Spıke Ѧ 00:32 9-Dec-13
There is a mirror archive site full of crap articles that were VFD'd, if you really want to take a look, you can check there (the link is on Wikipedia). The random feature link doesn't work there though, and the random button will most likely bring you to a page that was VFD'd long ago. Just don't copy anything from that site over to this site, since we have higher quality standards here than on Carlb's site, and restoring the article in its condition that you see there would be recreating a deleted article, which is a bannable offense. I think those articles were VFD'd long enough ago that you wouldn't even find them on the fork, which recently had a forest fire week of epic proportions (deleting several articles on vital topics). As you will see, the articles were judged bad enough to delete, which means they should be completely rewritten from scratch if at all. If you intend to do such a rewrite, please check out the section regarding "Wacky Wars" on HTBFANJS, and be sure to avoid writing wacky war stories; they have lost their appeal here. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 00:51, December 9, 2013 (UTC)TC02 (Chat with me)PS - This is why you should create a signature file - so someone else doesn't do this to your signature code. 23:19, December 8, 2013 (UTC)
Oops! World War IV exists. My typo, good article, do not delete, yeah. --TC02 (Chat with me) 01:42, December 9, 2013 (UTC)

edit User:TotalCuddles02/VY Canis Minoris

Please tell me if the article is good and follows HTBFANJS before I remove the construction tag. Even though I followed some of HTBFANJS's rules, is the article still good. DO NOT DELETE. --TC02 (Chat with me) 01:49, December 9, 2013 (UTC)

You may delete the Construction tag now, because the article is safely within your userspace. You may have "followed some of HTBFANJS's rules" (which ones? Write in English?) but you violated a few others, such as don't create articles about nothing (the constellation's name is "Canis Major", avoid nonsense dates, don't tell a single joke (extreme smallness) over and over again, don't mistake nonsense for humor, and don't ramble on and on. What is your comedy strategy? That Canis Major is really small? That isn't funny! Spıke Ѧ 02:02 9-Dec-13
I tried my best to fix it. Even though it was minor, i did my best. --TC02 (Chat with me) 02:13, December 9, 2013 (UTC)
"Fix it", not write it? Then where did you get it, the mirror? Do not upload stuff that has been deleted; defying the vote of VFD will get you in trouble faster than, say, telling an Admin what not to delete. Instead, go back to HTBFANJS (I moved some of the stuff to the new CoW) and read it not as rules that have to be obeyed but as guidance as to what will be funny to other people. Spıke Ѧ 02:21 9-Dec-13
Please try to improve/rewrite the article yourself, keeping the images + VFH. --TC02 (Chat with me) 12:39, December 9, 2013 (UTC)

edit IRC

Given this has now led to at least two users being completely misled, and it has nothing to do with the community here, maybe it's time to remove the links to it.                               Puppy's talk page08:26 pm 09 Dec 2013

Agreed, and removed from the sidebar. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 20:29, December 9, 2013 (UTC)
Agreed. 20:31
I do not see "IRC" or "Chat" in MediaWiki:Sidebar. Nor do I see the Sidebar, ever. 20:33
Don't know how I missed that, but Simsie got it. I rewrote Uncyclopedia:Chat. 21:04
Oh. I missed it because Simsie had seen to it five minutes before I got here. Spıke Ѧ 21:07 9-Dec-13

edit Template:Wikipedian

Hey SPIKE, this was a redlink to Pandas. Thank you. Epicgenius (talk) 03:00, December 10, 2013 (UTC)

I see the problem; unfortunately, your previous solution, a piped link to Furries, was exactly the same as in the previous <option> and that was why I reverted you.
Meanwhile, the revert at Wikipedia was because you were using Uncyclopedia not to write funny stuff but to warehouse tales of odd things being done elsewhere. Spıke Ѧ 03:09 10-Dec-13
Meanwhile, do you realize that your user page is for you to give us such an introduction to yourself as you see fit--not present your entire portfolio from another website? Spıke Ѧ 03:24 10-Dec-13
Yes, I do. And by the way, I created that picture myself. Not as funny as I had hoped, but fine enough. Actually, I kind of pilfered my Uncyclopedia userpage. ;-) Epicgenius (talk) 03:43, December 10, 2013 (UTC)
There's nothing wrong with putting a picture on your userpage that you created yourself, (after all, the picture of my cat on my userpage is one I took myself) but we would prefer it if you substituted your *Uncyclopedia* achievements for the Wikipedia achievements listed on your page. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 18:08, December 10, 2013 (UTC)

edit Bernie Madoff

Thank you for your words on my Bernie Madoff article. I totally get what you mean about "Prison Rape", but the intention is to imply that Madoff even bullshits about prison life (hence the contrast with the genuine quote). I'll not go to this topic gratuitously in future. I take your point about lists (that ANY list, good or bad, encourages a slew of bad) and I feel I could rewrite the whole section in prose more amusingly in any case and will do so soon. Regarding Britishishms vs Americanisms, you'll probably have to forgive me this mistake again. The great thing about wikis is the fact that the diligent can help the scatter-brained among us get it perfect. Again, thank you for the encouragement. KickAssAndGiggle (talk) 18:18, December 12, 2013 (UTC)

Articles can be written in British English or American English but combining them in the same article looks odd. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 22:49, December 12, 2013 (UTC)
An article like Pie, yes. British spelling looked as odd in an article on Madoff as it did in the Chief's article on American football. Spıke Ѧ 22:50 12-Dec-13

edit A Splode

Not sure whether this is a VFD worthy article or not. Any opinions? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 22:11, December 12, 2013 (UTC)

It is a website meme, surely linked to from a thousand articles. Your call. It will attract scolding old-timers to the page; that might not be a bad thing. Spıke Ѧ 22:29 12-Dec-13

edit RecentChanges

Just a question....Is it possible that some recent changes do not get displayed on Special:RecentChanges? Anton (talk) 17:52, December 16, 2013 (UTC)

Anything is possible, but I am not aware of a bug. Spıke Ѧ 02:25 17-Dec-13
If you want to know about the bug, there were three edits at User_talk:IsileK yesterday but only one gets displayed. Anton (talk) 09:24, December 17, 2013 (UTC)
On some occasions that in my opinion do not merit a Change Summary, such as when Anon files on an Uncyclopedian's talk page to call me a loser and to call this site inconsequential, I use the Rollback All tool, which turns his edit and mine into 'Bot edits.
Such users are not entitled to Free Speech Rights or to a patient explanation such as yours. When I decide on a treatment for a troll, do not persist in pursuing a different approach. Spıke Ѧ 11:26 17-Dec-13
Ok. I may be talking too much to trolls in general. But they are also humans! Anton (talk) 17:50, December 17, 2013 (UTC)

edit UnNews:Jantjie offered UnNews editorship

Perfect. I'm giving you a standing ovation as I type. Aleister 1:31 17-12-13

And both while playing Jumping Jacks! just amazing. Spıke Ѧ 02:25 17-Dec-13

edit User:Opples ond bononas/Hetalia

I fixed my article of Hetalia



This is my first article!

Can you not delete it?!

--Opples ond bononas (talk) 03:35, December 18, 2013 (UTC)

Welcome back from your one-month ban. It is restored to your userspace. It is not ready for mainspace. I am not ready to wrestle with you. Spıke Ѧ 03:36 18-Dec-13

Memo: Found myself wrestling with him anyway — as he recreated "Hetalia" and then "Hetalia (Edited)" — and he is back in jail. Spıke Ѧ 13:09 21-Dec-13

edit I probably missed the discussion...

Could you please point me to the policy that states that a user can't put an external link on the BHOP? --ShabiDOO 12:16, December 20, 2013 (UTC)

The Forum you opened was an unambiguous advertisement for another website. Inducing this site's users to surf elsewhere violates our Terms of Use. Spıke Ѧ 12:49 20-Dec-13
I believe you SPIKE...I just can't find that in the terms of use. Could you help me out? wasn't me who re-created that forum. --ShabiDOO 16:01, December 21, 2013 (UTC)
Spike, I don't see that in the terms of use either, so maybe you were told it was in there and it's not. It's pretty much standard practice on most member-based websites to link, and I've linked our site to others. This, on the other hand, is in the terms of use in the Do-nots: "Post or transmit any content that is obscene, pornographic, abusive, offensive, profane, or otherwise violates any law or right of any third party, or content that contains homophobia, ethnic slurs, religious intolerance, or encourages criminal conduct;" which puts all of us out on our ears and we might as well close this place down. Aleister 17:05 21-12-13
I also posted it on the fork...and the response was "there should be an article about this" (a wonderful reaction). I post a link on BHOP twice a year and I've never heard the slightest objection. I only post something that is satire that could inspire uncyclopedians. I wanted to share a fabulous and historic example of single page parody. --ShabiDOO 18:56, December 21, 2013 (UTC)
Repeating, the Forum was an unambiguous advertisement for another website. I deleted it as promptly as I deleted today's contribution of the meme photo of that man turning himself inside-out by the anus. I have informed the other Admins of our disagreement and recused myself. It does not matter who opened the Forum and it does not matter what some kid's reaction on the Fork was. Humor elsewhere might inspire us, and calling 1-800-GEICO might save us enough on car insurance to help us write articles, but in either case, you ought to negotiate terms with Wikia. This website is for original comedy creations (remember when?) (not even, between you and me, Aleister, a disk farm for you to assemble a pictorial, celestial paean to your civil-rights heroes to discuss on your blog). I am writing humor here and if I have to interrupt it further to wordsmith with you, it will not be with the policy manual (though the recently approved changes to UN:SIG advise you that we will not allow deliberate diversion of our traffic to other websites, nor will we even waste time figuring out whether they are Wikia properties) but with one-week bans. Spıke Ѧ 01:18 22-Dec-13
We probably should have a written policy drawn up on this site about use of forums and other websites, to help prevent spammers and third party bloggers from coming here and advertising their sites on our forums. Even if it is something one of our regular users found funny, using forums to draw attention to this should be done with extreme caution, because next, a spammer could come along, say "look at this youtube video it is so funny" and when you go to the youtube video it is really just an advertisement for a diet supplement or something similar.
So, because of this type of misuse of our time and resources becoming more common by spammers, I would recommend against external links in forum posts. Sooner or later, an admin would end up having to check every external link posted in the forums, and it is easier just to delete forums that are created for the purpose of drawing attention to stuff seen elsewhere on the web. Keep in mind we only have four active admins right now, including Frosty. So instead of posting the external link and saying "this is so funny", why not describe what you found funny about it, and if it is a well-known site (like icanhazcheeseburger, College Humor's youtube channel, or Cracked or the Onion), you need only name it, not link it. If it is not so well-known, this site isn't the place for advertisements, and once again, if you name it, a Google search should be able to find it. BHOP would be the only place, as usual, that such off-topic conversations would be allowed. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 05:46, December 22, 2013 (UTC)
BHOP has tended to be a place for people to goof around and work as a forum where links have been used. Because of the schism and division of the database, it has been used as a back door to link to the Fork and could be abused in future --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 08:14, December 22, 2013 (UTC)
I thank the other Admins for their concurrence — and retract my threat of bans for filing the disagreement. Spıke Ѧ 13:30 22-Dec-13

edit Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Rainbow trout

Contributed by Aleister. Was "bigger."

Hi Spike. What do you make of this? Worthy of deletion or am I missing the joke? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:55, December 21, 2013 (UTC)

The closest I come to knowing is that, several years ago, Adult Swim (red-link in article) hired a performance artist to install a bomb-like Lite Brite toy underneath a bridge abutment in Boston and the resulting panic closed the city at Rush Hour. (The perp, who refused to answer any of the press's questions at his arraignment that did not relate to his hair, now has a contract with the city to provide "entertainment" during this year's New Year's Eve celebration.) The article seems to me childish but not junky. Simsie might know better if its humor truly relates to the TV show, but even if it doesn't, there are bigger fish to fry (pictured). Spıke Ѧ 13:06 21-Dec-13

edit Thanks

On my post-edit at Spain and invitation for Anon to register

Thanks for the edit of my linguistic prep talk (nicely handled) but I'm an obsessive re-editor, never able to make up my mind, so I better not get too involved in this wonderful project. The world does need a laugh however. Certainly my old country Spain does. Thankyou, I'm glad somebody got a laugh. Have a good new year. The preceding unsigned comment was added by (talk • contribs)

edit VFD?

Do you think this article: A Helpful Compilation of the One Hundred (or so) Worst Things to Stick Your Dick into deserves a nomination on the basis of a long title and un-humourous, immature topic? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 09:07, December 24, 2013 (UTC)

Although I prefer descriptive section heads to section heads like "VFD?" (which you have given me several of this month and which are therefore not addressable with #), this case is an exception.
Uselessly long article titles are a thoroughly trite joke — a lame attempt at humor without original work — but they don't render an article huff-worthy. I would support deletion of the dash and everything following (maybe even back to the comma), as that text provides no additional humor, and the goal should never be to see how long you can last telling the same trite joke. Even for this, however, check the history first.
Though the title is bodily functions, the tone of the text is hardly childish. The article sets out to do something specific and mostly achieves it. Selection of topic should not be grounds for deletion. I would vote Symbol keep vote Keep.
Separately, congratulations on the featuring of Dreadnought! Spıke Ѧ 13:06 24-Dec-13
Yes. I thought it may just be my taste of humour that was impeding me. Hence my decision to quiz you on it. Thank you very much. Also sorry about the titles, as you say this is an exception and I wasn't even aware of a letter limit on the titles until copying and pasting this. Thanks for your help on getting the Dreadnought featured! Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 13:32, December 24, 2013 (UTC)
Though you didn't ask, that was copy-editing and not co-authoring in my view, and you are entitled to full credit in the Hall of Shame. Spıke Ѧ 13:37 24-Dec-13
PS--Indeed I have now shortened the subject article's title, as shown in this section. Bizzeebeever wrote the long one; he will not be back to argue the point but will at most gripe from afar at our narrow view of comedy. Spıke Ѧ 13:56 24-Dec-13
As it wasn't an official collab. (and I didn't see it as an unofficial collab. either) I thought there was no need to ask. It is hard to tell where to draw the line on these things. I appreciate the work you did to it and I agree it was co-editing. Once again thanks a lot. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 21:00, December 24, 2013 (UTC)

edit Message at User_talk:Funnybony

Spike, I saw the discussion you had above and I agree that inviting people offsite is not the best way to keep our site running. However, It was not the link but the video itself that Aleister pasted. Of course, you may say that our site is for 'original comedy-writing', but you saw one Aleister's post about how comedy present on other site can inspire writers here! And considering that the video was also a Christmas present...

Finally, I myself watched it, found it very amusing, funny and well-done (although probably not the 'best satirical video ever') and I do not think that it thwarted my participation here, on the contrary, it gave some more thoughts about comedy and parody and how they can be achieved.

With all my respect,

Anton (talk) 14:09, December 24, 2013 (UTC)

My revert was therefore in error and I have undone it. Spıke Ѧ 14:16 24-Dec-13
Sorry for the revision difference! Anton (talk) 14:22, December 24, 2013 (UTC)

edit "I am done! The world is not same now!"

Do you think, that I can replace {{PEE}} with my sandbox, if I am done with the coding? And can we actually apply the changes to the actual Pee Review system (which consists in changing links on the page)? Anton (talk) 15:03, December 24, 2013 (UTC)

Oh, no, it is actually another template: Template:Review_template... Anton (talk) 15:06, December 24, 2013 (UTC)

You can ignore my last edits, because they updated some templates but did not touch the review system at all. But do you think I can update the actual Pee Review page? Anton (talk) 15:28, December 24, 2013 (UTC)

I think you have gotten consensus to add Pee Review Lite to the existing Pee Review infrastructure. Now, not to be pedantic, but are you asking whether you can or whether you may? If you need my help, please be clearer about what pages I am to break. Spıke Ѧ 15:59 24-Dec-13
I wanted to say, "may I", but saw that the page is protected. So, I decided to say "can I", tried to summarize all the changes that have to be made and noticed that the main page of Pee Review should not be modified and only some templates should, but they are not protected. It is confusing! Anton (talk) 18:11, December 24, 2013 (UTC)
I am done! The world is not same now! Anton (talk) 18:36, December 24, 2013 (UTC)
Congratulations Anton! I can't say I understand what just happened, but I really love the wording of that sentence. "I am done! The world is not same now!" Man, that's a beautiful sentence, so your achievement must be beautiful too. Congrats. Aleister 21:24 24-12-13

"Copteen! A wessel!"

The statement, which is the essence of Making A Difference In The Community, would make a better section heading. Spıke Ѧ 21:39 24-Dec-13
If you excuse my lack of modesty, I would like to say that the heading is beautiful. But does the sentence have to have a 'the' before it? 'The world is not the same now'? Merry Christmas! Anton (talk) 22:01, December 24, 2013 (UTC)
(♪♪By George, I think he's got it!♪♪) No, I do not think the sentence has to have a 'the' before it. "The I am done" would be baffling. I cannot explain why the adjective "same" needs to be preceded by an article, but it does. Spıke Ѧ 22:16 24-Dec-13
I've spent the entire evening thinking about this! Anton (talk) 22:20, December 24, 2013 (UTC)
PS--Paraphrasing my dictionary: Usage Same (pronoun) is usually preceded by the. A less acceptable construction employs same or the same in place of another pronoun, with the sense of aforesaid thing/person.: Thank you for the pen; I shall return same shortly. This usage is inappropriate outside legal or commercial contexts.
So I don't understand why it's a "pronoun." It seems to me like a part of an idiom, "to be the same," which works differently from "to be different." Spıke Ѧ 22:23 24-Dec-13
That is why I am glad I have that part of my brain processing missing - I can't tell one form of speech from another. If you gave me a million dollars right now I could not tell you what a pronoun is. Ten million. I have no idea, and English teachers tried for years to get me to see something which appears totally irrational to me. If it sounds good, if it's beautiful, it's a sentence. And "I am done! The world is not same now!" has multiple meanings, almost all of them beautiful and almost all of them make sense in the context. And I'd say if Anton thinks the heading is beautiful, it probably is, especially at that point in his progression of emotions today. Merry Christmas to all! Aleister 23:31 24-12-13
Indeed not all of us have to invent every task! but it is undeniably good for someone to understand how we speak English in sufficient detail to be able to explain it to a Russian; for instance, to craft "rules" that match what we do so well that we have to call a minimum of things exceptions. One camp, which I studied in college, holds that there are thirty-odd "transformations" between the structure of a sentence and the words and the sequence that we choose, and just as vocabulary has changed in 500 years, the sequence with which we apply these transformations has too, otherwise it would resemble not [sic] the English of today. Spıke Ѧ 23:38 24-Dec-13
English is a great language.
What concerns the topic that made me shout "The world is not same now!" without a "the": due to the new format, all the scores are now optional. I know you are busy and are doing a great deal of reviews on users' talkpages, but I would like to point out (in the tone of Louisthecoup), that you are free to review anything. Thank you for your previous feedback! Anton (talk) 08:38, December 25, 2013 (UTC)
English is the dustbin of history (after French). Spanish is a great language; even its irregularities seem to have a logic to them. (I don't like its obsession with gender and social rank, but it fits their culture.)
Now, as we indent to distinguish our posts from other posters, and as I have a narrower screen than most anyone else (and therefore hew to a single vertical position instead of continuing to indent), I have never understood why you indent further a follow-on paragraph. What need is there to set apart your own second paragraph from your first? Spıke Ѧ 10:49 25-Dec-13
Indenting the second post makes it different from the first one and therefore you understand that the two posts contain two separate thoughts. Anton (talk) 17:05, December 25, 2013 (UTC)

edit Platyroo

Be free to edit my page

edit User:Zstruver

Could you please remove my user page from the site? I don't contribute to the site any longer and would rather not have my page here. Thanks. --Zstruver (talk) 16:15, December 27, 2013 (UTC)

Accounts here are not deleted, but no one other than you will use your account, you have blanked your user page, and there is nothing in your userspace. This should meet your needs. Spıke Ѧ 16:51 27-Dec-13
I would like the page not to show up in search results. I don't want the account deleted, just the user page.
All right. This user page will no longer show up in search results (provided the search engine correctly excludes deleted pages and does not cache them). On the other hand, your request here, will. Spıke Ѧ 16:55 30-Dec-13

edit Dogecoin

Well, Mr. Spike. I tried to start contributing last night. You immediately deleted the page because "it wasn't yet an Uncyclopedia article." Fine. It was short, but what was there was solid. I was planning on working it up further, and I know the topic (Dogecoin) is currently receiving a lot of interest, and therefore likely to inspire other contributions.

Immediately deleting a page because it's not already a full-fledged article? Not even giving it a few days? That doesn't mesh with the site's supposed "collaborative" philosophy (or make any goddamn sense whatsoever, really). I could be working on my own stuff instead, and come to think of it, that's what I'll do. RAGEQUIT! The preceding unsigned comment was added by (talk • contribs)

Good luck! Anton (talk) 16:30, December 30, 2013 (UTC)
The website's collaborative philosophy is among its collaborators. I assume you clicked on the link in my deletion change summary, which also said that if you would pick a user name, I would retrieve the text and place it in your userspace. However, Anons who leave a short and red-linky article in the main encyclopedia and expect us to figure out what it is that they plan to do with it (if anything) are eating pot luck. The offer is still open if you register. On the other hand, someone else will write an article without rage. Spıke Ѧ 16:34 30-Dec-13

edit Fake Pegasus Award Presentation

To the esteemed author SPIKE, he who shall be named, goes the honor for the second consecutive year of writing the most featured articles on wikia Uncyclopedia, thus, and grandly, winning his second Fake Pegasus Award. The crowds cheer as the award is presented...

Fake Pegasus Award for most featured articles of the year: 2013

presentee: Aleister 31-12-13

Well done Spike. Congratulations. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 11:01, December 31, 2013 (UTC)
And yet Paraguay languishes! Thanks, Aleister, for keeping even this informal tradition alive. Spıke Ѧ 14:20 31-Dec-13

edit QVFD

I think I am unlucky, when it concerns redirects. I tried to list it right, but a real template still got deleted as well as the redirect. (I am talking about Template:Review template/Lite). Sorry. Anton (talk) 13:37, December 31, 2013 (UTC)

This is my fault; I worked QVFD this morning not by reading QVFD but just by using the Change Summary. Your QVFD request is correct, but the Change Summary would have redirected through to the pointed-to page. Later, I actually read QVFD and huffed the desired redirect as well. Spıke Ѧ 14:20 31-Dec-13
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