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edit VFH shitnoms

Is there an appropriate talking-to that someone is in an appropriate position to give to any - (ahem) hypothetical - user who might be cluttering up the VFH queue? Or maybe it doesn't really matter that much? It may be that your A-type tell-it-like-it-is commentary in the templates will do the job. One hopes. But if there is an appropriate talking-to needed, maybe I'm not the guy. As you know, I'm too nice. --Globaltourniquet GlobalTourniquetUnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 18:44, October 18, 2012 (UTC)

This concerns my Against vote on Uncyclopedia:VFH/New York Yankees: "Meanwhile, why is nominator using VFH to call our attention to various unfinished articles? Is Special:Random broken?" You understand my meaning, and we also agree to wait to see if it is effective. If it doesn't "do the job," the next step would be a note on his talk page; I'll write it if you tell me the time has come. (Are there no other adults left? Romartus?) It is a misuse of VFH and, like Qzekrom's request for comments on VFD on one of the thousands of images on their way to QVFD, is a broadcast that wastes everyone's time to garner attention to one user. Mordillo used to hand out bans for abusing the system pages, though he handed out threats first. Even my favorite method of recognizing UnNews writers, Not a nom entries on the award pages to commend their work to other writers, drew his ire.
Now to follow your link to your talk page. (What a cheap piece of bait.) Spıke Ѧ 20:20 18-Oct-12

The "shitnoms" continue today and I have scolded Kamek98 on his talk page. Any sterner countermeasures are for those at higher pay grades. Spıke Ѧ 11:41 19-Oct-12
Can we not use the term 'shitnom' please? All users, IPS etc can nominate an article for the front page. Whether it is any good or needs more work can be registered there in the 'no' or 'comment' column. With Pee Review currently inactive, this seems the only way to have a list of articles up for consideration. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 14:05, October 19, 2012 (UTC)
I thought the term shitnom was pretty subtle. Because I didn't use a space. See? Actually I'm usually the understatement guy. I'll use the term "generally under-qualified nomination" from now on. And why is Pee Review inactive? How do we reactivate it? --Globaltourniquet GlobalTourniquetUnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 14:34, October 19, 2012 (UTC)

edit I thought I'm not supposed to edit articles then feature them.

If someone else created it.--General of All Branches of the Military and the Head of the State Police Eric (talk) 01:33, October 22, 2012 (UTC)

Doo wut? I've never heard a rule like that! In fact, no one "owns" anything here, and I would tell you to definitely bring an article up to feature-quality before you nominate it as a feature! It is true that if the owner is still here, and he is Watching his babies, as I am, he will be mad if you take it in a radically different direction; be sure you understand the author's strategy before you make yourself a co-author. But we were talking red-links and dumb lists, and in this new nomination you made, I am talking about the fact that the author goes on and on mostly to hear himself talk. Spıke Ѧ 02:22 22-Oct-12
PS--See Monika's comment on your VFD nomination. I have just been to Wikipedia (WP:Hairy ball theorem), which is a bizarre but serious page. See if you can make your nominee bizarre but unserious--that is, seriously funny, but still relating somehow to the real theorem, as I think Monika meant. Spıke Ѧ 02:26 22-Oct-12

edit Angry Video Game Nerd

Do you think [it] is ready for nomination? I edited it a little. The preceding unsigned comment was added by Kamek98 (talk • contribs)

It is ready for nomination on Votes for Deletion. It is potty-mouthed crap with no purpose other than to build a crude caricature of nobody. Have you read UN:HTBFANJS? Spıke Ѧ 03:07 26-Oct-12
PS--What you need to do before nominating something on VFH is be able to explain in writing what you find funny about it. I bet you can't do so for this article. Zombiebaron may have given you "permission" to nominate articles--not that it takes permission--but not to counter the purpose of VFH, which is to identify outstanding articles. If you are looking for acceptance as a member of this website, there are many other ways to do so, such as helping the patrols against vandalism or maintaining pages and counts and stuff. Spıke Ѧ 12:28 26-Oct-12

Actually Angry Video Game Nerd AKA James Rolfe is quite famous. I do want to expand this into an outstanding article but I will help patrol if you want. --General of All Branches of the Military and the Head of the State Police Eric (talk) 19:17, October 26, 2012 (UTC)

The subject of the article may be famous but that doesn't mean the satire is any good. Please do read UN:HTBFANJS--and ignore the title, I am not saying you are "just stupid." It has good advice about how to write humor in general. Regarding "helping me patrol," I am no longer patrolling--after a brief flurry--due to my current, crappy, metered Internet service described at the very end of my user page. But my point is that there are many ways to contribute here, even if it is the case that you have difficulty evaluating humor. There are also occasional competitions that need administration as well as judging. Spıke Ѧ 20:06 26-Oct-12

Can you help me out and/or should I keep at the article? --General of All Branches of the Military and the Head of the State Police Eric (talk) 20:59, October 26, 2012 (UTC)

Regarding the article, I don't know where you are going with it (as I set out above) so I can't help you get there. Regarding finding a different way to have a role, ChiefjusticeDS, Romartus, and Frosty are active and pleasant Admins who can tell you where bodies are currently needed. I simply cannot tell (especially from these recent VFH nominations) whether you have a sense of humor. If not, other ways to help are satisfying requests for Photoshop shoops or audio clips. There is a lot of multimedia stuff done here that isn't immediately evident. Spıke Ѧ 21:06 26-Oct-12
I'm working up my sense of humor, thank you. Haha --General of All Branches of the Military and the Head of the State Police Eric (talk) 01:36, October 27, 2012 (UTC)

edit Samurai Warriors

Any idea what I should do here? Please check my Ancient Aliens update and judge if I'm going in the right direction. Thanks.--General of All Branches of the Military and the Head of the State Police Eric (talk) 19:48, November 2, 2012 (UTC)

No, I don't. Strikeout and censorship may feed a joke but they detract very quickly from the encyclopedia motif, as the real writers of an encyclopedia would eliminate evidence of their first draft. You explained to me on User talk:GlobalTourniquet that your goal was to show the warrior himself trying to edit a criticism of him, but it's extremely unclear in this short start that that is what's happening. Other authors have used italics to get a point-and-counterpoint. I suggest that you read more articles and get the knack of writing straight encyclopedia parodies before you start experimenting with these alternate voices. Spıke Ѧ 19:55 2-Nov-12
The more common, and I think better, way to tell this joke: "ripoff stand out" is like this: "stand out" --Globaltourniquet GlobalTourniquetUnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 19:59, November 2, 2012 (UTC)

Dynasty Warriors is a game that's spinoff is Samurai Warriors and they are almost very the same. I wanted to make it so an angry Dynasty Warrior originally wrote it and was explaining that the Samurai Warriors are copycats and almost exactly the same, in which the Samurai Warrior doesn't want the reader to think that. So he crosses off those points and edits it. I thought it would be quite funny to place in the see also section Similar, and then strike out it and place Different. --General of All Branches of the Military and the Head of the State Police Eric (talk) 20:01, November 2, 2012 (UTC)

Globe, I saw that technique in Why?:The Other Kids won't play with you. I wanted to do something different.--General of All Branches of the Military and the Head of the State Police Eric (talk) 20:03, November 2, 2012 (UTC)

I see what you're saying. Hmmm, that's not really coming across well. There may be a better way to execute that. Let me think a bit. --Globaltourniquet GlobalTourniquetUnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 20:07, November 2, 2012 (UTC)
Yes, I was about to quibble with GT (before the Edit Conflict). A link that goes somewhere you don't expect is a common technique to prank the reader, but it doesn't convey that some alternate voice is wrestling with the text of the page. My problem in Samurai Warriors is simply that there is nothing that makes it clear that that's what's happening. Spıke Ѧ 20:10 2-Nov-12
Agreed Spike. Check my idea on the article now. It may be a solution, but does it have staying power for the whole article? --Globaltourniquet GlobalTourniquetUnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 20:17, November 2, 2012 (UTC)

I love that idea!--General of All Branches of the Military and the Head of the State Police Eric (talk) 20:20, November 2, 2012 (UTC)

It does the job, but the problem is overdoing it will just turn it into an uninteresting bickering match of uninteresting "do not" opposites. I would work on ways to push the joke further without using "do not" again. In fact I'd remove a couple of the existing "do/do not"-type incidences. --Globaltourniquet GlobalTourniquetUnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 20:26, November 2, 2012 (UTC)
That does it: Pranks the quotes and sets the ground rules for the reader. I agree, it will get tedious if pushed to article-length unless you add several more twists. Spıke Ѧ 20:28 2-Nov-12
For instance, once or twice where appropriate (and I don't know the games at all so I couldn't say), have the Samurai voice admit that "OK yeah that one is pretty much a rip-off" or something like that. Also, have him start to make excuses like "Well really what else could you do different? I mean, a ninja's a ninja for crying out loud." or something. --Globaltourniquet GlobalTourniquetUnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 20:31, November 2, 2012 (UTC)

I'm not planning on keeping it long. It's gonna be a short article to avoid that problem of uninteresting bickering. In fact, I've already made a quick sloppy copy of a few more details. Such as finishing stages and maybe the excuses. Then the See also. A couple images too.--General of All Branches of the Military and the Head of the State Police Eric (talk) 20:33, November 2, 2012 (UTC)

I think it's generally a poor strategy to keep an article on subject matter like this (which really must respect the encyclopedic conceit) short so as to not belabor a gimmick that you aren't confident enough to execute at at least medium encyclopedic length. I think in this case if we can't make the gimmick work for the length the subject calls for, then the problem is with the gimmick, not the length. But it might succeed if we do it right. Good comedy is hard work. --Globaltourniquet GlobalTourniquetUnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 20:39, November 2, 2012 (UTC)
What if, after some of this bickering, the detractor strikes an entire paragraph and starts trying to tug the article in a completely different direction? Or--them being Warriors and all--what if they actually start dueling? Spıke Ѧ 20:35 2-Nov-12

Like as if the Dynasty Warrior came back and saw the edits by the Samurai and scolds him and then the Samurai is like all defensive. Then the next section is labeled Bring it bitch! I cut you until you die! its a message by the samurai and something like that seen in Samurai.--General of All Branches of the Military and the Head of the State Police Eric (talk) 20:39, November 2, 2012 (UTC)

One key point to maintain (and which many of my edits fixed) is to make absolutely certain that the article reads grammatically correctly when you remove the samurai edits mentally, or it will break the fourth wall. --Globaltourniquet GlobalTourniquetUnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 20:44, November 2, 2012 (UTC)

Ok. I'll try. And when its finally done do you think I should nom it on your judgements?--General of All Branches of the Military and the Head of the State Police Eric (talk) 20:45, November 2, 2012 (UTC)

Why don't you just bask in the satisfaction of a job well done, as I did for my first year here, rather than seek for instant fame? This is the damnedest Scout troop, where everyone puts in for merit badges before attaining the rank of Tenderfoot. Spıke Ѧ 20:53 2-Nov-12
When I was a young Tenderfoot, not only was self-nomming outright banned, but even suggesting one of your own articles might be feature-worthy was frowned upon. We allowed our talent to make room for us when it would. And we liked it. Kids these days. Get off my lawn. --Globaltourniquet GlobalTourniquetUnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 20:59, November 2, 2012 (UTC)
Ah, yes, I guess that that rule (rather than humility) was the reason I never did it. Anyway, if you either believe that Kamek is going to write Kansas City Royals .OR. accept the rule that Socky once gave me that red-links are acceptable by way of denoting an article that, though it has not been written, deserves to be, then you may certainly nominate Talk radio and spare me the humiliation of self-nomming, as though anyone thought I were averse to it. Spıke Ѧ 21:04 2-Nov-12
PS to GT: "The fourth wall (between the speaker and the audience) is not usually a factor in Uncyclopedia mainspace (at least except when someone tries to turn an article into a stage play), as the putative encyclopedia article writer is talking directly to the reader. At some point the contention between the two Warriors directly concerns the impression given to the reader--so one or both will break the fourth wall. Spıke Ѧ 21:10 2-Nov-12
Yeah I may have stretched the term there - I just meant it breaks the ruse if the grammar fails. Anyway, regarding Talk radio and its lingering red link, I've written four baseball team articles. While I could possibly see my way to a fifth, I would not want to wait to nom Talk Radio until I or anyone else was done with it. So I will nom. Nom nom nom. --Globaltourniquet GlobalTourniquetUnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 21:12, November 2, 2012 (UTC)

Globe, vote for Hairy Ball theorem! NAWR!--General of All Branches of the Military and the Head of the State Police Eric (talk) 21:39, November 2, 2012 (UTC)

He has now done so, making the vote 10-1. However, if I read the signs aright, you corrected one red-link, at which point I rewrote it. If featured, I will count it. Incidentally, a local rule on my page is that you indent each of your contributions the same. (I have a low-resolution computer screen and don't like it when paragraphs continue to get shorter. Cheers.) Spıke Ѧ 21:55 2-Nov-12

How much indents do you want me to put? One? Also, how can I put like a giant sign-like text saying this page is a secret for Secret, which I'm creating. Would that be a good idea like Nothing does? --General of All Branches of the Military and the Head of the State Police Eric (talk) 22:00, November 2, 2012 (UTC)

The same number all the time, in a given section; in this section, 0, since you started it. What you want to do is put a template on your page. However, I discourage templates. You should not use graphics to tell the reader how to interpret your page; good writing will induce him to interpret it your way. With {{Title}}, you can change the page title that is displayed. Spıke Ѧ 22:10 2-Nov-12

edit HowTo:Master Debate

I'm going blank. Any help when you can would be accepted. Thanks.--General of All Branches of the Military and the Head of the State Police Eric (talk) 21:50, November 2, 2012 (UTC)

I confine my work to mainspace and UnNews. I hate HowTo:, as it is dominated by youngsters most of whose nearest approach to clever is preachy, not that I know for a fact that you are one. Moreover, I don't care about an article that is a thinly veiled masturbation joke, nor to chat about masturbation with a stranger whom I assume is 14; moreover, even doing so might be illegal in this jurisdiction. Spıke Ѧ 21:59 2-Nov-12

You assume correctly. See I'm advanced for my grade/age. I don't really have much many friends. Yes, I read a college level book in third grade. I'll just write the Master Debate page over time by myself, it is quite an uncomfortable topic. Sorry. --General of All Branches of the Military and the Head of the State Police Eric (talk) 22:02, November 2, 2012 (UTC)

Very well. Discomfort is a function of lubrication. Spıke Ѧ 22:06 2-Nov-12

edit Boston Red Sox

Wanna know if you think it is ready for nomination yet, if so, would you nominate it for me?--General of All Branches of the Military and the Head of the State Police Eric (talk) 19:41, November 10, 2012 (UTC)

First, I already have two nominations in already--in fact, the most recent two nominations, if you disregard Anon's flawed nomination of a disambiguation page that he didn't even have the competence to vote for. I don't want to hog it, especially to stick articles there as a favor. If it were my turn to nominate another, I'd send my recent collaboration with Romartus, Donald Trump.
Second, I don't agree that VFH is a place to advertise any recently finished article to the community. I still believe it is a place to assert that a given article is one of Uncyclopedia's best. Leverage and I debate this point today on User talk:GlobalTourniquet, or perhaps one of them will turn it into a Forum as I suggested.
Finally, there are aspects of this article that I just don't like at all:
  1. Some of the puns and wordplay is just unremarkable. Hey, folks! They call it a Green Monster, but it's not a monster at all! Not funny; it is merely use of figurative language. We have always known it was not a monster. If there is any way to play this, it is perhaps that the encyclopedia writer mistakenly thought it was a monster and continued with the description on the basis of that error. Similarly, most plays on people's names are destined to be lame.
  2. Some of the humor is just random. Owned by Heinz? Tickets sell for a few nickels? As someone wrote on VFD recently, "Untrue ≠ funny!"
  3. The article swings and misses on hanging curves. The "era" between 1919-2003 must be treated with a large dollop of Gallows Humor. Regarding The House that Ruth Built, any article fit for this franchise must deal somehow with the fact that the proceeds from the sale of the Bambino were invested in a Broadway play. Regarding brawling, the key moment was when elderly Don Zimmer was thrown to the ground; and last year's mini-brawl inside the Red Sox dugout is missed. The article misses the historic end-of-season meltdown of 2011 and the fiasco of hiring Bobby Valentine. Granted that a sports-team Uncyclopedia article has a niche audience, it was your decision to write one, and it must read as though you talked to some die-hard (read, anguished) Sox fans, rather than that you learned all your team lore from the place-mat of a diner a block away. Fan heartbreak can be made sport of in any of a number of ways, but not glossed over.
  4. Most attempts to write formulas in Uncyclopedia articles are done by (new) authors who think that that's what you must do. Most attempts are total failures. Yours are indeed formulas just for the sake of writing formulas. In addition, they don't render correctly; this website uses the <math> tag, not backslash codes.
  5. Some of the English is awkward or wrong; please reread it with a fresh eye in a day or two.
Definitely good enough to remain in mainspace. I would not mind seeing this on the home page, but I would abstain rather than vote to put it there. Spıke Ѧ 20:32 10-Nov-12

Okay. Thanks for your opinion, and I threw the formulas in their because I was doing algebra and I ended up typing it. I don't see what you mean by the code if the backslash still works?--General of All Branches of the Military and the Head of the State Police Eric (talk) 00:50, November 11, 2012 (UTC)

My fault; it seems you have to run with JavaScript enabled to see the desired effect. Spıke Ѧ 00:55 11-Nov-12
After you take care of the above, there's: Bill Lee and the "era of pitching stoned," the one-dimensional nature of David Ortiz (the league's most powerful slugger unless three infielders play to the right of second base), Fenway's rat problem, three-inning trips to the concession stands, male fans' communion of, essentially, urinating into a bathtub (I'm told this has been overtaken by modernity since the last time I was there), Tom Yawkey's determination to win the pennant without recourse to Negroes, Jimy [sic] Williams waxing poetic over the post-game shower, Zimmer's own post-game love: "Pound the Budweiser, boys!"
Point is, your target reader is steeped in Red Sox lore--much more than I, as I follow Minor League Baseball and lately the college-summer leagues there is no point in describing here. Your article must also be steeped in Sox lore--not just poke fun at the Sox from a seemingly very great distance. Spıke Ѧ 01:18 11-Nov-12

I'll try to get to it later this week or month.--General of All Branches of the Military and the Head of the State Police Eric (talk) 13:38, November 11, 2012 (UTC)

PS--To be clear, the above list is not to nag you that the article cannot be complete unless it addresses all the episodes in team history of interest to me. Only that it has to give a sense that it is steeped in lore. There is certainly no rush, and you may even decide you're not the right one to do it--or you may undertake to learn it as a personal challenge. Cheers. Spıke Ѧ 14:53 11-Nov-12

I was thinking the same thing, I kinda love the Yankees so, if I really don't know much about the Red Sox until the 2004 fight, 2007 World Series, 2011 and 2012 f*ckups.--General of All Branches of the Military and the Head of the State Police Eric (talk) 22:47, November 11, 2012 (UTC)

edit Sam's Empire

Hey, what do you think of my first and old article I did a couple months ago, eh, what was its name? Oh, yeah- Sam's Empire? --Sir Peasewhizz de New York (talk) 01:19, November 23, 2012 (UTC)

My opinion is that it is a waste of any Pee Reviewer's time; see UN:VFD. Spıke Ѧ 12:19 23-Nov-12
I'll just remove the Pee Review request.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 20:11, November 23, 2012 (UTC)

edit Romance of the Three Kingdoms on VFH

I see you haven't voted yet. Lol--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 18:54, December 1, 2012 (UTC)

I have now commented on VFH. Tries too hard to be funny, as opposed to just being funny, but good enough that I don't mind it being featured, and I don't know the source material. When you discover girls, it won't go well. Spıke Ѧ 21:12 1-Dec-12

I have discovered girls thank you very much. And I also love the sourced material. Which is Three Kingdoms era China. --SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 21:55, December 1, 2012 (UTC)

I don't really mean discovered them but hopped on top of one of them; and you do do a hell of a lot of talking about masturbation. Speaking of which, thank you for your vote for me for November WotM. I may exactly return the favor and convert my comment to a For vote eighteen hours after it is either featured or killed. Spıke Ѧ 22:01 1-Dec-12

Okay thanks and you're welcome. Haha.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 16:43, December 2, 2012 (UTC)

edit Gym Basketball

Can you help me expand with this? I am having a little bit of trouble thinking but can you keep the same concept if you do help? I need something to fill in before the Q&A at the end.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 22:15, December 6, 2012 (UTC)

No, I can't save it but still have it be yours. I don't like the concept:
  1. It is fundamentally about how you feel about your class, classmates, and teacher; that is, more vanity unlikely ever to be of general interest. I also don't like that your reaction to being told not to write vanity is to wait one week.
  2. The technique of having the writer of an article bicker with himself (in this case, having the writer of the section heads bicker with the writer of the text) you are using only because you saw Kip do it in Chanupocalypse, and I had problems with it even there. We try to delay consumption of alcoholic beverages until one has learned how to be alive sober; likewise, one should master writing in the style of an encyclopedia article before one flaunts his creativity by breaking the rules.
So go to Uncyclopedia:Requested articles, pick a topic of interest to you, go to its page on Wikipedia, set out the same facts, but get everything wrong. Spıke Ѧ 01:47 7-Dec-12

edit On being funny

Would you nominate and/or give me your opinion on Your cat died? After I made this, User:RAHB showed me the I lost your ferret. I honestly haven't seen the I lost your ferret article until after RAHB showed me.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 01:33, December 8, 2012 (UTC)

Okay, I've been looking up to you and reading your user page. Thanks for mocking me. ("The claim was one of many made, by nominating it for main-page featuring, by a user who wouldn't know a quality article if it bit him.") You could really help out and be nicer to me since I plan to stay here for awhile. If you looked at my Wikipedia articles, you would see I know quality articles. I just don't know how to be completely funny.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 03:10, December 8, 2012 (UTC)

Ignore SPIKE; he's a very naughty dog. Also, for the record, the two-person narrative in the Chanupocalypse article was inspired by, a hat-tip to, a rip-off of (choose whichever) Jaws did WTC. -- Kip > Talk Works Puzzle Potato Dry Brush CUN Icons-flag-us 03:31, Dec. 8, 2012
Oh.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 03:40, December 8, 2012 (UTC)

I (1) will not nominate, and (2) will give you my opinion, although you would not have asked for it if you had read my response in the immediately preceding section. My opinion--reinforced by the new section My Nominations That Have Been Featured on your user page, as though it is some sort of renown to find and nominate work by other people, including mediocre work that other people will repair, in which case it is customary to mention them--is that you intend (even after your three-day ban and two subsequent duds) to continue putting crap onto VFH in hopes of getting merit badges. My core opinion is that you are not here to produce quality content but to manufacture honors for yourself, while mostly publishing your personal diary, and you are egregiously resistant to all advice, so that even learning how to produce quality content will be tediously slow. What you should do is glue on a mustache, go to a bar, and try to pick up women (by telling them all about you), where you will find a 5% success rate immensely more rewarding than you will here. Spıke Ѧ 11:25 8-Dec-12

That's the thing, I want to produce quality content here too. I admit, I'm not funny, but I want to learn to be.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 18:49, December 8, 2012 (UTC)
Kamek, I don't believe that anyone can "learn" to be funny. I think you can only write, ask for criticism, plan out your writing, write, more criticism, read others' articles, analyse them, try to see the "why" of the funny, read HTBFANJS once a month, experiment, write, ask for criticism, try not to please anyone while writing, write, re-write, have a specific reason WHY you are writing and why you are writing WHAT you write etc... The great thing about uncyclopedia is that so many users are happy to offer constructive criticism. It's a gift you rarely get anywhere else. --ShabiDOO 21:33, December 8, 2012 (UTC)

It can be learned. For example, in UnNews:Lame-duck House GOP proposes to make gay marriage mandatory, new author Djme13, whether he knows it or not, combines the fact that Republicans are both projecting fear about Obama's tax proposals and privately discussing "strategic retreat" that will make it law, to imagine that Republicans decide to become the sponsors of their worst fears. Just to show him. In The Last Poker on VFH, NoNamesLeft likewise glues together two incompatible ideas so tightly they seemed to be made for each other; whereas in University of Antarctica on VFH, the author has a clever concept but cannot finish his gassy essay so as to make anything flow naturally from it. One can get there with either a flexible mind or through experience in reading humor (and, as you say, thinking about what it is that makes it funny). This is a technical task; the problem is that Kamek has convinced me he is not here to learn any technical task but to excel at the political. Spıke Ѧ 21:57 8-Dec-12

Those is fighting words. Kamek...go write something funny! --ShabiDOO 00:01, December 9, 2012 (UTC)

Hmm... that's weird. A girl in my grade has recently started saying "those are fighting words"... that can only mean one thing. You... are... RIGHT! Go check my edits on Your cat died and tell me what you think!--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 00:21, December 9, 2012 (UTC)

edit Nutella

Wanna do a collaboration on my favorite sandwich spread? I moved it into my user space. User:Kamek98/Nutella. If you want to, then do whatever you want. I got to hit the hay.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 02:13, December 13, 2012 (UTC)

What collaboration? you write the first word, I write the rest? Then you nominate it and pat yourself on the back on your userpage? And if I may criticize, the single word on the page is rather predictable, and you didn't move anything anywhere, this article's got no history. Anyway, I don't know the first thing about that stuff, though I did date a Nutella back when I lived outside Detroit. Spıke Ѧ 02:34 13-Dec-12
PS--Looking for the same in mainspace, it seems that Frosty deleted it yesterday, with advice to its author (you???) to read the Beginner's Guide and UN:HTBFANJS. You have done, haven't you??? Spıke Ѧ 02:51 13-Dec-12

No. I didn't write the deleted version. I saw Frosty deleted it and I decided to rewrite it. I created it, shouldn't have said moved, into my userspace and since I cannot save it without putting text into the box, I wrote Nutella there and was going to work on it today. Also, I had no intention on writing one word and having you do the rest, then nominate it and pat myself on my back. I think you're exaggerating. Spike, I have a hint you want me to go away or something, if I am right?--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 20:22, December 13, 2012 (UTC)

It would be better if you stayed and wrote some good articles. (Then waited for the accolades to occur naturally rather than waited at various users' feet and panted.) Spıke Ѧ 20:43 13-Dec-12

Is that what is ticking you off?--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 21:13, December 13, 2012 (UTC)

Thanks for doing Nutella with me. (I take no claims on it)--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 00:47, December 14, 2012 (UTC)

You took it in a couple new directions beyond the Wikipedia spork, and found half of the photos. Spıke Ѧ 00:51 14-Dec-12

Is that a bad thing?--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 00:54, December 14, 2012 (UTC)

Hardly! Sorry for the final revert just now, but you were trying to make this article do more than it does. Spıke Ѧ 00:55 14-Dec-12
PS--Also reverted your change to {{Propaganda}}. You might have a use for it, but so did a lot of other people; look at Special:WhatLinksHere/Propaganda to see who the other users are before you commandeer a template. Spıke Ѧ 01:01 14-Dec-12

Okay. --SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 01:02, December 14, 2012 (UTC)

All right, you've now put more-or-less the same text in the new {{Major Propaganda}}. But I don't see the connection. These are not our best "propaganda" articles, nor even Soviet Communism articles, but a collection of stuff that you have had a hand in (or a finger, as in nominating someone else's work). I guarantee you, a reader of an article that you have had a finger in does not need a template advising him of every other article you have had a finger in. Anyone who cares that much about you will instead go directly to the newly protected User:Kamek98. Spıke Ѧ 01:15 14-Dec-12

It's my own little page for me because I love making templates. As I said, I don't know much about propaganda, only that it is about "bad persuasion" or something like that. Only because of a My Chemical Romance article on SING and reading a thing or two about it a few years back.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 01:23, December 14, 2012 (UTC)

If it's your "own little page," put it in your own little userspace. In public (template) space, it's vanity. Spıke Ѧ 01:26 14-Dec-12

Oh yeah, nevermind. I'll move it back, I forgot I can still do it. The preceding unsigned comment was added by Kamek98 (talk • contribs)

You have the power to move it back, but probably not without creating redirects. That is, its former name lives on and redirects to the new name. You need to list the former names on QVFD. Or in the future ask me to do it without creating a redirect; that is one super-power I have here. Spıke Ѧ 01:38 14-Dec-12
PS--All of them. Spıke Ѧ 01:43 14-Dec-12

I'll save you the time.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 01:58, December 14, 2012 (UTC)

Nevermind! That's assloads!--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 01:59, December 14, 2012 (UTC)
No, you must; and at this point it's no easier for me to do. Spıke Ѧ 02:02 14-Dec-12
Hi Eric. It's not good form to start creating your own templates without at least arguing for the necessity of it with an experienced user here (like Spike) or an admin. It's regarded in the same way as someone creating a lot of re-directs and such. Otherwise if everyone started creating their own templates, the site would be overrun in no time. Because of various historical legacies, there are quite a few redundant templates out there already. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 07:20, December 14, 2012 (UTC)

Oh, okay I see. I'm sorry.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 20:12, December 14, 2012 (UTC)

Feel free to remove the bit I made on attempts. Just trying to add. However, the first addition to the intro shouldn't really have been removed. Chocolate and hazelnut are no wheres close to being the same. However, Nutella does a fine job at making their hazelnut spread taste and appear as chocolate.--Sir Peasewhizz de New York (Chat) (Stalk?) 23:58, January 1, 2013 (UTC)

edit Dannyboy

You voted against Dannyboy1209 because I nommed him? The heck? Dude, why?--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 00:33, December 14, 2012 (UTC)

No! As I said (NotM), I voted against him because he hasn't done anything. I had to revert him again about a half hour ago. His concept of humor is to type personal opinions into articles at appropriate places, and just assume the reader thinks it's as funny as he does. Humor is serious business. Spıke Ѧ 00:37 14-Dec-12

Oh, nevermind then. I don't pay attention to him. I just renommed him because he wasn't doing it right. Sorry. --SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 00:47, December 14, 2012 (UTC)

Well, awards mean things; so do nominations, and we ought not do that to the new authors whose work is actually memorable. Spıke Ѧ 00:51 14-Dec-12

I see. Sorry for appearing as a begger and kissup to the admins.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 00:53, December 14, 2012 (UTC)

Kissing upto the admins, is probably the sweetest thing you can ever do. Their anger lines are like precious creases in the ocean shore, their ass sweat smells like giant daisys and their man juices taste like Mongolian ant honey. You should try it. Its lovely. --ShabiDOO 14:02, December 14, 2012 (UTC)

edit Yellow Turban Rebellion

If you could, can you tell me how I did on my new article? Since it is more of a "boring" subject I tried to be goofier than another article should be, but besides that, I wanted to know if you thought it was good. Maybe even tell me a few things I could fix or improve on? If you need some source material: Yellow Turban Rebellion.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 19:31, December 16, 2012 (UTC)

I can tell that it's funny, but am not motivated to read the whole thing, nor does the intro tell me why I care enough to. You are wise to lean on "goofy" when treating such a niche subject. "Consist" in the intro is the wrong word. The paragraph on Section 1 on ripping out one's genitals doesn't help anything except zeal to talk about genitals to strangers. Consider whether you are overusing the technique of having certain passages be ridiculously long, especially in an article that is ridiculously long. I have been "in" Grand Rapids, Michigan. Spıke Ѧ 19:40 16-Dec-12
PS--Part of the problem is your use of the techniques of uncertainty and digression in the intro. They are funny, but here all your energies must be focused on hooking the reader. Spıke Ѧ 19:42 16-Dec-12

Okay, I'll edit some on it. Thanks!--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 20:35, December 16, 2012 (UTC)

edit Handwritten font

If you could take a moment to look here, User:Kamek98/Month Calender, how would I make the table have maybe a more handwritten font?--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 01:08, December 28, 2012 (UTC)

Use a DIV with style="font-family: Script, cursive". Script is a handwritten font that is usually installed on WinXP and up. "cursive" says to fall back by matching any handwritten font that is installed. Example edit in place. Spıke Ѧ 02:51 28-Dec-12
Okay, thanks.--Sir Peasewhizz de New York (Chat) (Stalk?) 03:01, December 28, 2012 (UTC)

edit Can you give me your opinion?

I'm doing a page in my userspace that is going to make fun of the alternative rock band PANIC! at the Disco. Located here. However, I wanted to know how my introduction is going. More importantly, if it would be better to say, "My friends, let me tell you about my panic at the disco" rather than "My friends, let me tell you about my PANIC! at the Disco."

I'm looking to make fun of the band like the page My Chemical Romance was made fun of. Instead of it being about the band it is literally a story of someone who had a relationship with a chemical. So PANIC! at the Disco was going to be about a guy who panicked while he was at a disco.--Sir Peasewhizz de New York (Chat) (Stalk?) 18:44, December 29, 2012 (UTC)

My opinion is that that would be a pun. Spıke Ѧ 21:49 29-Dec-12

edit User:Kamek98/Lu Bu

Is there a way to move Lu Bu to my userspace so I can make an article?--Sir Peasewhizz de New York (Chat) (Stalk?) 23:45, January 4, 2013 (UTC)

Done. There were several references to it, which were double-redirects and now are broken. You have the power to return it to mainspace when ready. Spıke Ѧ 23:50 4-Jan-13
Jeezus, Eric, then you continue editing, re-creating it in mainspace! What is the point of asking me? You are on your own. Take one of the two pages to QVFD. Spıke Ѧ 23:59 4-Jan-13

I wasn't expecting you to move it that quickly actually, haha. My bad, dude.--Sir Peasewhizz de New York (Chat) (Stalk?) 00:01, January 5, 2013 (UTC)

edit Conversation with Kamek98 that induced a 24-hour ban on me is in the main archive


No, jk. But why would you put yourself into the welcome message? Doesn't that sound too selfish?--Sir Peasewhizz de New York (Chat) (Stalk?) 02:44, February 23, 2013 (UTC)

edit DUDE

I know I've been hinting at it pretty hard, like obviously. But, I want you ban me. Ban me for a few weeks. Like NOW. Okay. I thought calling you gay, being sarcastic, and the bad quality noms and all that shit would get you to, but no. I want you to ban me for a few weeks with the funniest ban message you can come up with. Okay, thanks.--Sir Peasewhizz de New York (Chat) (Stalk?) 02:55, February 23, 2013 (UTC)

I've banned you. Wish granted. --ChiefjusticeDS 07:26, February 23, 2013 (UTC)
From elsewhere
…I was trying to see if SPIKE could make a funny ban message. That's all. It would be nice if you could tell SPIKE that. So, er. Thanks for the update and opinion. I'll tell BB, but I'm sure he'll see it.-- SIR Peasewhizz de NY 02:40, 24 February 2013 (UTC)
Passing that message on.                               Puppy's talk page12:01 25 Feb 2013
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