User:S3ahawk/Why?:Doesn't My Son Play Sports Like Other Boys?

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Why Why? 
This article is part of Uncyclopedia's Why? series. See more Why's?

Howdy, stranger. I see you slumping in your lazyboy chair. What's on the T.V. tonight? The Little League World Series? Well, that would explain why you have been moping around the house today. Oh, I completely forgot to introduce myself to you: my name is Bob Saget. I have played a father on television, so I have my fair share of experience. So you want to know why your son cannot play sports as well as the other boys? Well, there are a few reasons for that, such as his questionable diet, his underlying homosexuality, and various physical limitations.

edit Pringles: the breakfast of obesity

Obviously you do not have the best sense of dietetics based on your jolly midsection, so I ought to inform you why feeding your child Mountain Dew and Pringles will not promote a healthy lifestyle. You ask me why your son does not perform well in athletic pursuits: the eight year old's 200lb weight is probably not helping matters. Look at him right now- he's trying to eat the decorative cornucopia on the table!

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