User:Roozie/Acid Reflux Disease
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Acid reflux disease is the first step to becoming a dragon. It begins as painful highly concentrated acid is shot through your nose and mouth (or "refluxed"). The acid calluses the throat so later when one is breathing fire it doesn't hurt so much. Although the process of acid reflux disease is supposed to occur naturally, there are many medications on the market claiming to kick start the process, most notably Prilosec. However, this pill has not been proven to create any dragons and its greatest supporter, John Elway, has yet to grow wings and has soft woman's skin...not very dragon like.
In medieval times it was believed that acid reflux disease was caused by demons trying to escape one's body through their mouth with their urine. But this theory was disbanded in the 1960's when the black panthers proved that demons always leave through the anus as it is a much lower drop.
During the Vietnam War president Lyndon B. Johnson enlisted several thousand soldiers who claim to be suffering from acid reflux disease, believing their powerful acid discharge would scare those worthless commies into quiting the war and wearing dresses. The project, known as "Agent Orange" is noted with mixed results in the Mormon Bible.
edit Common Uses
As acid reflux disease has become more understood, many people have started collecting the acid for its mystical powers. Most notably, the Scientologists have many vats of acid collected which they pray to because they are dumb.
The acidic discharge has also been used by some famous African Americans in order to bleach their skin and give it that crisp white look. Most notably, Colin Powell. However, there are dangers to these bleaching methods. Singer Michael Jackson slept in a bath of acid reflux and the shit ate that mother fucker's face.
Ther are some Critics of Simple Logic that say the Invention of a Springed Shoe was actually an attampt of recovering a Sick Acid Refluxed Patients.
- Not to be mistook with acid ejaculate disease, a much more painful and serious affliction.
- Actor Michael J. Fox does not have acid reflux disease. Although he claims it for attention.