User:Robstew/C-130

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C-130
C130
Yeah, it's pretty badass.
Invented 1954 to fight the Ruskies
Manufacturer Lockheed Martin
Use Cargo, Troop transport, Scaring the piss out of terrorists
Variants C-130 Hercules, C-130 Super-Hercules, AC-130 Spooky/Specter
Service Ceiling 33,000ft
Maximum Weight 124,000lbs (nom nom)
Armament (AC-130) Massive can o' Mamma's wholesome whoopass

The C-130 is used by the Military to ship fun toys to the battle zone. However, because of its ugliness, its passengers are forced to simply shove their cargo out the back and then hop out themselves because no airport in the world can handle the sheer ugliness of the C-130 without crumbling into a warzone. Pilots are said to be lifeless skeletons in the cockpit (nobody knows, as the hatch is sealed). It serves under the command of George Dubya Bush against them terrorists. Four Allison Turboprop engines provide thrust for the C-130, making a collective output of about 3,750 horsepower. The C-130 operates at a cieling of 33,000 feet.[1] This altitude is the maximum. Any higher, and the plane and crew would be hurtled into Space. The C-130 has a top speed of 380 miles per hour (faster if crashing) but has a brisk cruising speed of 335 miles per hour. Plenty enough to outrun Usain Bolt, and faster than both an African, and European swallow combined. The C-130 has a maximum range of 2,500 miles before it runs out of fuel and starts whining. These specifications are quite impressive considering the fact that the C-130 is such a massive aircraft. Weighing in at 124,200 pounds, this plane is one of the fattest aircraft around. It tried dieting, but it just didn't cut it.

edit Main Uses

edit Cargo

Santaac130

Santa, after dropping some toys on christmas with his C-130. Contrary to popular belief, he doesn't fly a sleigh. That would be stupid.

While in a battle situation, soldiers may need their supplies at any moment. They quickly radio a C-130, which flys over head and defacates a large piece of heavy artillery. This can be a pesky situation, as people on the ground have to attempt to dodge the massive hunk of metal plummeting from the heavens. Whether it's carrying troops to Afghanistan, or flying emergency medical supplies to Haiti, the C-130 is the plane for the job. It has been speculated that this aircraft could carry the entire state of Texas and drop it on and enemy. Whether or not this tactic has been used is unknown, as most of texas is still here. At least, it is physically.

edit Troop Transport

Desertplane

We have arrived at our destination

If you are unfortunate enough to find yourself as a soldier in a C-130, curse yourself for getting into that situation. However, you are equipped with plenty of resources. The C-130 (a very comfortable airliner) can be impregnated with up to 30 soldiers at a time, armed to the teeth. This has earned it the nickname "Momma Bird".

edit AC-130 Gunship

The badass weaponized evil version of the C-130. This variant is more lethal to terrorists, as it carries a howitzer cannon with which it uses to blow stuff up. It also carries a liquid cooled Nuclear minigun to riddle anything (and everything) with banana sized bullets. Bring an umbrella. Momma Bird's here. Aside from pwning terrorists and making enemy compounds a splode, the AC-130 can also affect weather patterns with all of it's badassery. Even the clouds are terrified of it. If a cloud sees an AC-130, it pisses itself. This phenomena is called Rain. Again, bring an umbrella.
C-130u

This house is about to go Kablooey

.
Ac-130

Momma Bird giving someone a bad day.


edit How an AC-130 Attacks its Prey

Hostiles spotted


Aiming...


Target aquired


Americanwhoopass5ku


Explosion Dramatization-Consult your physician before engaging in sexual activity.

edit Reasons for Use

Highly effective, and very fast, the AC-130 can deliver Death on demand (for terrorists that have high speed internet) or from a long distance (for those unfortunate enough to have a dialup connection). Obviously, it is one of the most effective weapons on the modern battlefield as, luckily for us, Terrorists have not yet figured out how to fly. They got out of the nest, but life just went straight down from there, as the saying goes. it is the ultimate symbol of American military strength, because of its size and strength. Plus, the Howitzer canon mounted on the side is the larges weapon fixed to any aircraft of any type. 'MERICUH.

edit ATTENTION <insert name here>

Dead gull You are dead.
<insert name here> has been killed by Robstew/C-130


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edit See also



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