From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
- This page is about the aquatically-inclined cat species that is commonly found living in rivers. For the cat family, see Felidae. For other uses, see Cat (disambiguation) and Cats (disambiguation).
The river cat (also spelled rivercat or river-cat) is a small, usually furry, and imaginary mammal. The river cat's native habitat is West Sacramento, California, although small colonies have been successfully domesticated. The record of 25 domesticated river cats is held by Oakland A's general manager Billy Beane.
|Pet||Fed by guardian||Ballpark||Yes|
|Feral||IKEA meatballs, river water||Weeds, probably?||No|
River cats generally have short hair, though some have been seen with dreadlocks. A common misconception among fuddy-duddies is that river cat dreadlocks are due to laziness, and can result in drug use.
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 "Jacobs Hits 3-Run Homer", September 9, 2012. Retrieved on December 5, 2013.
- ↑ 2.0 2.1 "River Cats settle for division title", September 14, 2012. Retrieved on December 5, 2013.
- ↑ "Manny Ramirez's Dreads Will Cause Drug Use, Abortion, Gayness, Blindness, Fan Tells The A's Triple-A Affiliate In Insane Voicemail", June 15, 2012. Retrieved on December 5, 2013.
- ↑ "River Cats Twitter page", December 5, 2012. Retrieved on December 5, 2013.