From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
edit == WWE ==
World Wrestling Fuckheads, Inc is an American Fast Food Entertainment Group, owned by Vince McDonald and his idiotic family. Vince's son-in-law Triple Dick is now the chief in command after winning 15 gold pizzas for being the best body builder in the company and marrying the dick sucking two dollar hoe, Stephanie McDonald. Who is daughter of Arch- bishop Commissioner slut, Linda McDonald who is married to The Pope's microscopic genitalia, Vince McMahon (editor's note: excuse me, i meant Vince McDonald..). They also have a son named Shane McYoddle who got arrested for hanging out with Scotty Polo and not wearing a suit. They purchased their competition, ECW (Extreme Copy Writers) and WCW (World Class Wontons) sometime in 1886. They changed their name because WWF (Weekly Wildlife Fondelers) sewed them for carrying the same initials. Reputable sports entertwiners and asskissers include: Stone Cold Steve Asshole, The Cock, Womankind, The Heartless Christian, The Underwear Sniffer, Hulk Whocares?, Macho Moogle, and oh yeah recently some guy with a crewcut who looks like a transvestite Wonderwoman (as quoted by The Cock) named John Cliteris. All of these wrestlers all Hall of Famers or will be as long as they continue to kiss Vince McDonald's ass and generate revenue for the company..
Roderick McDonald was a boxing glove whose achievements included coke-snorting in 1915. In 1926, while working with GG Allin (who actually despised wrestling between 1939 and 1948), he started promoting masturbating at the Garden. The first session during their partnership was the light headed championship match between Who Really Cares? and Not At All Relevant.
Sometime during the hippie movement, he met a pidgeon named Gouch and had some demented babies.. and thus the McDonald family decided not to make arsenic hamburgers, but instead develop a form of homophobia known as homosexual interactive entertainment between two busty men with bicycles for genitalia.
edit World Wide Wrestling Federicos (1963-1979)
Hesitant to switch from fast food to HIE (homosexual interactive eggplants) Vince McDonald the 8th decided to open a franchise Mexican restaurant. It was unsuccessful.
edit World Wrestling Fieldgoals
[[File:Mrmcmahon092407.jpg|thumb|left|150px|[[Vince McDonald Senior Citizen], founder of XFL. and current Majority owner, Chairman, and CEO of WWE.]] Mexican restaurants weren't working out for the Caucasian senior citizen so he opened up a football team, which made the NFL go out of business to his delight. Bruno San Francisco was a star quarterback who decided to wrestle.
edit New Generation
WWF attempted to appeal to fans of the Sitcom "Saved by the Bell" by crowning their new champion Zack Morris. he held the title before losing it to Ace Ventura and later Abraham Lincoln, who was assasinated by the Iron She. Hulk WhoCares then won the title representing the colors of mustard and ketchup.
edit Monday Night Wars
Eric Bitchcough decided to steal some ideas from Japan while eating sushi in Okinawa. He then invented the New World Oolong which "took over" WCW. Vince decided that transvestites wearing condiments wasn't marketable so he had his son in law, Triple Dick who was friends with the NWO members create their own stable, D-Moralization X. They had 5 horses in their stable, one of which is a successful porn actress, (the rest are working indies) and they bought their competition some years later. Because the McDonalds are winners..
edit The Aptitude Era
- See also: Montreal Blowjob
Bret the Hired Canadian was given a public sodomy by the Heartless Christian and referee Earl Sinclair (also appeared in family sitcom, Dinosaurs) They took his belt buckle and sent him to WCW, where they wasted his talent. Vince then decided that he would utilize WCW talent Stunning Steven and make him a anti-authority figure. They drank beer and had sex on television to the adulation of millions worldwide while Boris Karloff and Lon Cheney battled atop steel cages with ceilings and burnt eachother's flesh offerings. The WWF began to make money as it became theatrical and interesting, because it was pornographic and violent
edit PG ERA
Vince bought every country in the world and owned the entire universe. Because he no longer had to compete with anyone, he decided to gear his programming towards toddlers. He changed the rating from TV-MA to TV-PG Barney debuted alongside Big Bird (who was sent back to Russia to be a prostitute again) and he has dominated the WWF for 10 years. Children love him and make their parents buy his Rise Above Waste diapers. Recently a highly trained heroin addict named, CM Junk was hired in an attempt to give Barney a rival (in a friendly manner) CM Junk was rebellious like ColdStone Ice Cream Sundays and is trying to get their ratings back and maybe change it from PG to Y-7. Sports Enterprise has since been canceled in 2012 and replaced with Social Media Wrestling. Here people can cut promos and create matches in a similar fashion to role playing games with dice, maps, and character creation sheets.
Oh yeah, also theyre were some Pay-per-view adult cartoons in the Aptitude Era which were replaced by Breast Cancer Creation Facilities and later turned into Child Abuse Foundations and Bully Other Kid programs..
Editors Note: This article desperately needs help because I don't know what i'm doing.. Please feel free to add pictures so you can help me keep my job. Uncyclopedia is paying me millions of dollars to write this shit and i have an expensive caffeine addiction to take care of.