User:Redradishthesecond/Tree Man

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Tree Man 412
The ever unphotogenic Tree Man has forbiden photography of himself. Instead He has opted to have a profesional cartoonist draw a portrait.

Treeman Is an unfortunate individual who has the rare and incurable disease known as anal arboreum, which is characterized by a living tree growing out of the aflicted person's anus. The tree that grows from Tree Man's anus is actually a fifty foot long black wallnut tree. Tree Man's body has somehow adapted to a sort of symbyotic relationship with the tree allowing it(the tree) to gain nutrients from his feces. His case of anal arboreum is the only one in recorded medical history, although there have been several unoficial accounts from pacific islanders saying that "they had palm trees growing out their asses". Dispite the wallnut tree being a woping fifty feet, Tree Man still claims to have never seen it and at times even denies its very existance. This is due in part to the orientation of his anus being located directly behind him. His necissary daily medical needs are met by a team of seven nurses. since he isn't aware of his Anal Arboreum, his nurses have to hide his miracle grow pills in a piece of cheese or something. Every fall his nuts fall to the ground and can actually be eaten. The nuts contain a high amount of vitamin-F and should be avoided at all costs by people who have too much vitamin-F already in their system.

edit If you see Tree Man

If you ever see Tree Man, do not question him about his tree. He will imediately respond with "I still ain't seen that thing yet so suck my dick!" It is unknown whether Tree Man denies its existance out of genuine unawareness or out of delirium caused by constant minute hemoraging brought on by growing tree roots. It is also wise to avoid the tree itself if behind Tree Man while He is walking. The tree has been the cause of many deaths since it grew long enough to wack people. During autumn, it is common for people to make jokes about his nuts falling off but do not make these jokes unless you know him as he will likely get upset and sue you for slandery.

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