From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
I'm Nolan, and I pretty much have no life. You... not good at much, not very cool. Though I do consider myself fairly good at video games. To be specific I'd rank myself in the "medium-to-high-medium"... So basically a little higher that just "medium", but not cool enough
or maybe just modest? to rank myself in the "high" category.
This section is where I'd like to tell you all a little about my self, how I came to be, if you will. So sit right down, grab a snack (but not a large one, it's not that long...), and get ready to learn of a person you don't know, and most likely don't really care for (or do you?) I hope you enjoy
even though it mostly focuses on my like for video games.
edit The Beginning
Twas the bottom of the third hour, date: August 9, 1993. A baby had been born... A baby named Nolan. parties were thrown, parades were had, and countless animals were sacrificed in my name. As a young boy I grew up much like all of you grew up from your baby egg. Playing with childhood friends, getting into all sorts of shenanigans,
testifying against rapists, so on and so forth. Living in a desolate house deep within boring, there weren't many activities that could hold my attention. I grew tired of playing with the "vast nature" that was my back yard. The one thing that could be found on the property that could hold my attention was a small gray box... a small Asian box, known as a sNES.
edit The Rise of a Fascination
This fascination for the sNES was based on its many platformers. Amazed I was, upon realizing that actions in the real world, could be transferred into some other world, a world that was much more interesting that the one I currently inhabited, a world where a person with
no little physical ability could perform amazing feats. I'd spend hours playing the increasingly familiar levels of Super Mario Bros, Donkey Kong: Country, and a handful of others. I learned many things, such as: Generally all obstacles in life can be jumped over, Most enemies can be defeated by simply jumping on them, etc. Though fascinated my area of gaming was limited... I couldn't afford any new games, but any chance I got, I tried any game I could.
edit New Opportunities
One day, at a friends house, I was introduced to a PlayStation. A new level of amazement... Compact disks! 3D Graphics! FTW! Spyro the Dragon, Crash Bandicoot, loads of new games to play. But I was never given the opportunity to own one of the amazing devices. Later, (In life that is), I obtained a PlayStation2 for my birthday. More amazing games, and one thing I never had before, a gaming console of my own... This is when, I believe, I started to acquire my "skill" at gaming.
edit Microsoft Opens New Doors
By this point, I've become obsessed with gaming. I was speaking the language and growing more competitive with every game of Halo: CE I played at my friends house, on his Xbox... I needed one, I needed Halo. Halo made me realize the true best form of gaming was the FPS. So I set out on my quest to obtain an Xbox, I earned, I saved, I bought. I now owned the most elite of all gaming consoles. And with Halo by my side, I vowed to master the FPS... LAN parties were attended, I learned much. I evolved, I became, a gamer. It only grew, With the realization of all of the other great FPS's out there, such as Half Life. The that fateful November. Halo 2 arrived, and so did online play... Now I was able to play with talent around the world and test my skill with others but my friends. Through this I realized I had a lot to improve if I was to master the FPS, but I was on my way.
edit My Gaming Today
Today, I am a proud owner of an Xbox360. Best console I have ever owned, what with Halo 3, and all the other great titles out for it. I'm a strong believer that Xbox is superior to all other current consoles. The PS3 has a weaker selection of games, and the Wii can blow me, that over-rated novelty piece of shit.