From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Welcome to Uncyclopedia,
the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
31,207 articles in English

Beginner's Guide · The Big Five · Style · Questions · Help · Donations

Categories · Featured content · A–Z index

Today's Featured Article - Bee

Bee on flower

Bees are a special kind of fly with a stinger and a sweet tooth. They are like ants, but can fly around and impale in addition to bite. Despite this, most species of bees are peaceful and only attack their evil foes. Bees often die as a result of their attacks. Thus, a great debate rages amongst biologists as to whether they are leftover World War II kamikaze fighters or modern-day radical Islam jihadists. They all fight for their queen, and anyone opposed to her is considered an infidel and must be slain. Bees should not be confused with hornets, wasps or yellowjackets. Bees are peaceful creatures that are easily offended by the racist idea that they all look alike. They will sting you to death for confusing them with their even more violent cousins. (more...)

Recently featured: Bee

Yesterday's Featured Article - Hillsdale College

Hillsdale College, old

Hillsdale College in Hillsdale, Michigan is a coeducational institution granting degrees including the Doctor of Reaganomics. National Review has called Hillsdale "the conservative Harvard," while

Mother Jones refers to it as "an awful place to smoke dope and get laid." It is notorious for its regularity in poking a curricular finger in the eye of government. Its Division II wrestling team plays in both the Greco-Roman and Judeo-Christian formats. Hillsdale is so God-awfully far from any expressway that going home for the weekend is as tedious as the universally mandated reading of the classics.

Hillsdale was founded as Michigan Boondocks College, as the town of Hillsdale at that point was called Spring Arbor and just as far from civilization as it is today. Hillsdale was pious before piety even became fashionable, its charter prohibiting excluding anyone from anything because of religious opinions, and being equally willing to nag Christians as heathens. Hillsdale was affiliated with the Free will Baptists, as is only Bates College in Maine, and Hillsdale remains the choice of all students who do not want to leave with a resumé listing their "Masters-Bates."

Hillsdale also prohibited race and sex discrimination, admitting African Americans (who weren't called that yet) in 1844, and in 1851 graduating Michigan's first woman student with the Spinster of Arts. In 1856, it became Michigan's largest college, as in that century learning still used to win out over creating new jobs in government. (more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Melbourne, featured on 13 October 2013. See the featured version.
This is not Sparta, featured on 13 October 2011. See the featured version.
Prince Madog, featured on 13 October 2010. See the featured version.

Did you know...

N209702252 30697377 1069
  • ...that the Angel of Death is after you? (pictured)
  • ...that to the untrained ear, John Aglethorpe's Ode to the Monotony of Life may simply sound like one continuous, monotonous tone, but the song is actually composed mostly of alterations between the A sharp and B flat notes tied together?
  • ...that Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit has mostly turned into Witch-Hunting For Fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches?
  • ...that Kitten Huffing is a popular, though controversial, alternative to street drugs such as skag and crank?
  • ...that the butler did it?
  • ...that although the effects of alternative medicine are difficult to separate from a placebo, dumb hippies are easy to separate from their money?
  • ...that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period?

In the news

On this day...

October 13: International Paranoia Day
  • 54 - Claudius, Roman Emperor (b. 10 BC) is assassinated by the C.I.A. Historians say this is impossible because the C.I.A. wasn't in existence yet... which is exactly what the C.I.A. would like to have you believe.
  • 1792 - Cornerstone laid for the White House. Who lays stones? Masons. What organization did the masons start? Freemasons. Do I need to spell the rest out for you people?
  • 1835 - Nothing of historical significance happened on this day in history... or so the Illuminati would have us believe.
  • 1937 - Aviation pioneer Igor Sikorsky has a bunch of unpainted helicopters sitting around his factory, and gets a deal on 5000 gallons of black paint. The Black Helicopter is invented. You'd have to be pretty naive to think this was just a lucky coincidence.
  • 1939 - Nothing happened in Germany! We were all on vacation! ALLE NATIONEN WERDEN SICH VOR DEUTSCHLAND VERBEUGEN!!!
  • 1947 - Nothing happens at Roswell (wink wink).
  • 1949 - First meeting of the Trilateral Commission... or is it?
  • 1955 - The. U.S. Government does not begin top secret operations at Area 51 (wink wink).
  • 1968 - NASA works feverishly to build the sets for the 1969 "moon landings".
  • 1974 - TV personality Ed Sullivan passes away due to "natural causes". And just like that, the Jews are one step closer to global domination.
  • 2000 - Preparations for the 9-11 attacks are begun by agents of the United Nations, the Jews, the CIA, and the Vatican.
  • 2012 - Nothing apocalyptic will happen... or will it?

Today's featured picture

Crop circles

I wonder what they're trying to tell us this time...

Image Credit: Kaizer the Bjorn
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

Recent Articles

McDonald's (replacement from Inciclopedia) | Fred Flintstone (rw) | College stereotypes (rw) | Spinchat | Whatever Happened to Robot Jones? | Labour Party (UK) (rw) | Brandon Flowers | Windows 10 | ZOMG | Ares | Jeremy Corbyn | SQL | Coca-Cola Classic | Sex change | FEMA | Bristol International Balloon Fiesta‎‎ | Ponytail | Atonality | Hercules | The Angry Video Game Nerd | Timur the Lame | Wasp | Gebhard Leberecht von Blücher | Colloquialism | Suit | Boeing 737 | Teleology | Sergei Eisenstein | Interstellar (movie) | Bee

More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push | Great ideas

Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.

Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!

It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

Uncyclopedia's Sista Projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects.

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects.
UnNewsUnNews Logo Potato (No text)
The news source on crack
UncyclopediaUncyclopedia Puzzle Potato Notext
The content-free encyclopedia
UndictionaryUndictionary Logo Text
The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
Where noisy things can live and prosper
Instructions and guides for anything and everything
UnBooksUnbooks-logo notext
Content-free books
Poetry for people who hate poetry
We can ruin stage and film too
Don't make me explain it to you twice
Complete list of projects

Note: Pages with this template are added to Category:UnProjects

Uncyclopedia languages

This Uncyclopedia is written in English. Started in 2005, it currently contains 31,207. Many other Uncyclopedias are available; some of the largest are listed below.

Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.

Potatohead aqua Featured Article  (read another featured article) Featured version: 1 April 2008
This article has been featured on the main page. — You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
<includeonly>Template:FA/01 April 2008Template:FA/2008</includeonly>
Personal tools