User:Ratmaster/The Adventures Of The Non-Huffable Kitten
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The Adventures of The Non-Huffable Kitten (非吸入の子ネコの冒険) is a Japanese Anime Cartoon on TV and is based on the real events of the Non-Huffable Kitten. The show was started in 2007 and will end when George Dubya Bush finds out that it exists. It contains characters that exist in real time.
The main character of the show and is the hero. First appeared in Episode 1 "I'm What?" where the kitten finds out he is unhuffable when a psycho Kitten Huffer bought him for garbage in a local pet store. Unlike the actual Non-Huffable Kitten, this cat did not face Barney in a card game as soon as the history books say.
The Non-Huffable Kitten's ally in the war against Kitten Huffing and is not always in his own head, because it is shared by Stalin. The Partially Huffable Kitten appears in the 2nd Episode "I Hate You, You Hate Me, You're my Mortal Enemy" after Barney was dragged into a black hole by Stalin. When the Partially Huffable Kitten met the Non-Huffable Kitten, it was when they set out to destroy Barney, but the Non-Huffable Kitten got sick of the Partially Huffable Kitten's talking and put him in suspended animation until Barney was banished.
The gayest character in the show, Barney is a major villain for a few episodes until he stops being funny. Afterwards he is seen once in awhile having mood swings in hell or a black hole. He is first seen in Episode 2 "I Hate You, You Hate Me, You're my Mortal Enemy" trying to huff the Non-Huffable Kitten during school hours. He supposedly dies in that episode, though many people say he has raped them, but none of this has been confirmed. The demise of Barney comes after losing a card game against the Non-Huffable Kitten and being dragged into a black hole by Stalin.
Seen only in " Oh crap, Crack set barney on fire" Crack actually is long time crack head, OJ Simpson. Originally selling Crack to director George Lucas. Was accidently cast in the show. Luckly he's always on crack, so he thinks he's is at a Japanese strip club. Most famous line: "I love you whores!"
Only physically seen in two episodes, Stalin is only a minor character and is not very important to the series. He is first seen in Episode 2 "I Hate You, You Hate Me, You're my Mortal Enemy" while being called upon from hell to stuff Barney in a black hole, but Barney didn't love that, so Stalin was dragged in with him by Barney. He is seen in Episode 23 "Holy Crap! The Soviet Galactic Battle Fleet is coming!" where for one episode he is in control of the Partially Huffable Kitten's body because the Non-Huffable Kitten was getting tired of his whining. He is seen having a brain transplant with the Partially Huffable Kitten and then later appears in real form as Oscar Wilde is trying to huff the Partially Huffable Kitten while Stalin is still occupying it.
One of the major villains for a short time, and was the closest characters to huff the Non-Huffable Kitten in Episode 24 "Grues, Clinjas, and Oscar Wilde, all out to Huff Me?". He first appeared in Episode 1 "I'm What?" in the background huffing a child. He is seen often in the series painting his quotes on the walls and being chased by the police on the crime of graffiti.
Only appeared in Episode 6 "The AKHM has Begun!" protesting and yelling out "They have weapons of mass destruction!" and being dragged away by the secret service because of threats that he will be TPed by the members of the Anti Kitten Huffing Movement if he didn't leave the area.
Only appears in one episode as a minor villain. The Non-Huffable Kitten had gotten him sent to jail and put to sleep after scratching AKHM members and trying to huff a kitten (even know he is already a kitten). The only episodes Kitler was in were Episode 5 "Untitled" and "You dirty cat!".
edit Sir Meow
Played a major role in Episode 10 "You dirty cat!" and was shot and died. Despite this fact, he appeared in other episodes only to fade into dust after someone saying "Hey, didn't you die?". He was British which made him a prime target for Kitten Huffers and was quick to run away from them. He was shot by Kitler and then was buried under the AKHM building.
Played in only Episode 3 "This Guy, Or That Guy? as the picture on the wall in the Hall Of Huffing. He had came to life when the Partially Huffable Kitten asked "Who is That Guy?". This Guy had misunderstood the question thinking that That Guy was referring to him. He had tried to huff the Non-Huffable Kitten, but failed after the cat had coughed up a fucking 12-inch hairball because someone had made an article on Uncyclopedia that he would enjoy once he went on the computer. The hairball had flew into This Guy's face and killed him, for an unexplained reason.
1. "I'm What?"
It starts out seeing the Non-Huffable Kitten wake up in a pet shop after a man asks the store clerk how much the cat is being sold for. The clerk tells him 500$. The man takes out a suitcase full of drugs and then the store clerk says the cat is free. After leaving the store with the cat, the man is seen huffing the cat, and the cat, like in all Kitten Huffing experiences, screams. The man is then choking and gasping for air. The kitten then realizes it is Non-Huffable.
2. "I Hate You, You Hate Me, Your My Mortal Enemy"
The episode starts showing the Non-Huffable Kitten in an auction room buying out an old abandoned warehouse. He wins the auction at 0.000000001$. The cat gathers a group of kittens and people who dislike Kitten Huffing and creates the Anti Kitten Huffing Movement with the old warehouse being the headquarters. The next scene shows the cat sleeping next to the building and out of nowhere, Barney appears and makes a jump for the cat. The cat jumps up and uses one of his superpowers to make Barney except a challenge in a card game. The Non-Huffable Kitten then plays the Non-Huffable Kitten card. This destroys Barney's reputation. Then the Non-Huffable Kitten uses another superpower and summons Stalin from hell and gets him to drag Barney into a black hole. Barney didn't find it happy, so Barney also dragged Stalin there. Then at the next scene, The Non-Huffable Kitten is seen standing by the AKHM building. Then a greyish cat appears and tells the Non-Huffable Kitten that he is also Non-Huffable, well, partially. Then the Non-Huffable Kitten gives him membership and the title of The Partially Huffable Kitten. Before the episode ends, The Partially Huffable Kitten starts babbling and the Non-Huffable Kitten is seen bashing his head into a wall repeatedly.
3. "This Guy, Or That Guy?"
The episode begins as the first unofficial mission of the AKHM to destroy the Cavern of Huffing. The Non-Huffable Kitten and the Partially Huffable Kitten brought dynamite and bombs to destroy the cavern when they saw a portrait of This Guy. The Partially Huffable Kitten asked "Who is That Guy?". Misinterpreting the question, This Guy magically appeared out of the image and tried to huff the Non-Huffable Kitten, but failed when he coughed up a hairball. This killed the Huffer for some unexplained reason.
4. "Through the black hole"
The episode has a dramatic beginning, were the Partially Huffable Kitten falling horribly ill. the AKHM's top scientists try to find out why (evidently be putting dry ice in coloured water). They find out that it is due to a disturbance in the ying-yang created by the death of Stalin, who it turns out is the Partially Huffable Kitten's other half. The Non-Huffable Kitten then travels through the black hole to retrieve Stalin's mustache, and brings it back thus bringing balance back to the universe. this episode was credited for the black hole travel sequences, which were directed by guest director David Lynch
5." Oh crap, Crack set Barney on fire!"
In this episode Partially Huffable Kitten has a relationship wit Pamula Kitterson. Till he finds out she's a man. Then Crack gets raped by the spirit of Barney. So he sets Barney on fire with his crack. Sir Meow admits he had sex with Minor character Gigga, the pig. The episode ends with Stalin kicking Barney in the balls.
edit See Also
- Kitten Huffing
- The Non-Huffable Kitten
- The Partially Huffable Kitten
- Black Holes
- Oscar Wilde
- George Dubya Bush
- Crack, The kitten