User:RBnumber/HowTo:Make someone a god
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
| HowTo |
This article is part of Uncyclopedia's HowTo series.
See more HowTos
SO, you want to make a peer/family member/co-worker/boss/acquaintance/this guy a dearly beloved, revered religious figure or prophet, most commonly referred to as a God? Its actually quite simple to create a religion and make someone you know a God. Lots of people have done it before. It can be acquired in 5 simple steps.
edit Step One
This requires limited physical effort. All you have to do is to come with a ground-breaking new view on society that your future disciples will follow. Or, even easier is to take an old idea and repackage it for present day uses. Like, take the Bible and put it in Ebonics. That should appeal to the black community, and lord knows there is a lot of them. However, no matter what you do, DON'T copy Scientology. NOBODY CARES about Scientology. So, think up an idea and move onto Step Two
edit Step Two
Even less physical effort here. Now, just write lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of vanity pages on various wikis to get your message across. People on Wikipedia and Uncyclopedia are always glad to see vanity pages pop up because they realize a new and exciting religion could be blooming on their very own website. And don't worry if it gets deleted. It just means its creating controversy, and controversy = news coverage! Make a talk page about the person and about how great they are. Eventually, more than two people will know about your new "God" and his religion. Now its time to move onto to Step 3
edit Step Three
Make a MySpace page. Here, however, vanity is discouraged and you should be careful with how much you talk about yourself. Just put your religion's name up on top of the page and leave your city, state, home address, phone number, pet's name, siblings' names, social security number, so people can come to your page and learn where your fantabulous religion began. Now you just have to wait until someone calls you to get together in real life! This is your chance to convert him/her to your religion and work your way to g a god-like status.
edit Step Four
Give yourself up sexually to the new convert. This will entice him/her to join your religion. If you play your cards right and say all the right things and give into all of their demands, they will begin to love you. Because really everyone without a religion so awesome as yours is just a child inside, and they really want to connect with other children...like you. They will explain this to you using different words, but really they are saying that they now worship you! Congratulations you have achieved your first convert.
edit Step Five
Repeat Step Four 6.7 billion times. You will get pretty tired, but eventually the whole world will be faithful follower of your awesome religion. So just have lots of sex with strangers. Please? Just tell me when your ready and I can be your first convert...I'm ready....and lost...I require
the meat of children a new religion like YOURS. So please just go here and let me rape you...it will make everyone happier. Seriously.