User:RAHB/Talk Archive 7

Talk Archive 1 (2/28/07 - 7/6/07)

Talk Archive 2 (7/6/07 - 9/8/07)
Talk Archive 3 (9/8/07 - 12/8/07)
Talk Archive 4 (12/8/07 - 5/18/08)
Talk Archive 5 (5/18/08 - 7/12/08)
Talk Archive 6 (7/12/08 - 8/20/08)
Talk Archive 7 (8/20/08 - 12/3/08)
Talk Archive 8 (12/3/08 - 2/19/09)
Talk Archive 9 (2/19/09 - 5/25/09)
Talk Archive 10 (5/25/09 - 10/26/09)
Talk Archive 11 (10/26/09 - 12/9/09)
Talk Archive 12 (12/9/09 - 4/25/10)
Talk Archive 13 (4/25/10 - 8/26/10)
Talk Archive 14 (8/26/10 - 8/13/11)
Talk Archive 15 (8/13/11 - 1/30/12)
Talk Archive 16 (1/30/12 - 7/12/12)

Reap

From Sycamore:)— Sir Sycamore (talk) 12:38, 20 August 2008 (UTC)

YAY! A MESSAGE! OMG! OMG! OMG! I HAZ A MESSAGE!!!! =) -RAHB 12:39, 20 August 2008 (UTC)

Hey. Just wanted to let you know that Captcha isn't letting me do Pee Reviews or Submit my articles for them. Please fix this.--The Unread 21:58, 21 August 2008 (UTC)

There's a problem with new accounts and capture or something. I've heard about it from Sannse, and some other guy had a problem with it. I can't fix it myself, but I'd ask sannse about it, since she's all "wikia staff" and stuff. -RAHB 22:10, 21 August 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: August 21st, 2008

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August 21^st, 2008 • Issue Sixteen • The periodical without any junk in its trunk

And the award for Sluttiest User goes to... By Gerrycheevers ...Mhaille! With over fifteen thousand links to his userpage strewn willy-nilly about Uncyclopedia, Mhaille takes home the Slutty for the sixth consecutive time. Everyone's favorite moustachioed chappie overtook Codeine in early 2007 and never looked back. When asked about this momentous achievement, Mhaille was still in shock from the victory. "I'd like to give thanks to my mother and my father, for first taking me into the family business. Without their years of experience and their guidance I would not have become the Slut I am today," he said. "It is for them that I hope to make it a seventh title!" Coming in at second on the list was the legendary Benson. Despite having only twenty edits in the past year, Benson has managed to rack up over twelve thousand links to his userpage. He still enjoys a several thousand link lead over slut number three, Thekillerfroggy. When asked how Benson managed to not only maintain his lead, but actually increase it, TKF said, "A wizard did it." In-depth investigation by this reporter revealed that Froggy's signature may have something to do with it, as random selection feature will occasionally cause TKF's sig to spam dozens of links to Benson's userpage, mostly in Dr. Skullthumper's userspace. UnSignpost gets new paper-boy by An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays Uncyclopedia's semi-official newspaper, enjoyed by literally several readers each week, has hired a brand new paper boy. This individual has been delivering the UnSignpost for the past two weeks. This cost cutting measure was announced after the guy with the keys to the delivery robots disappeared, taking the keys, several thousand dollars in cash, and a stapler with him. Unconfirmed rumours made up by me suggest that he intends to staple the money to the keys before turning the stapler on himself. The paper boy, who calls himself Gerrycheevers, says that it is a tough job, but he is glad to be able to contribute something. "It's a tough job," he told UnSignpost reporters "but I am glad to be able to contribute something." The young paper boy is saving up his pocket money to buy a new frisbee. The mammoth task has taken its toll on young Mr. Cheevers, leaving him with severe wrist pain and an acute hatred of humanity. "It totally messed up my wrists. I was out of action for days!" he said. Most Uncyclopedians are said to be happy with the new service, saying that they prefer the more personal touch that comes with human delivery. "Those damn robots trampled my garden, broke down my door and killed my dog with their death-rays" said one unfortunate Uncyclopedian. In a related story, Gerrycheevers has been 'throttled' from such activites as moving pages and making mass edits. His repetitive edits have apparently pissed off at least one admin, and Gerry is now limited to one edit per four hours. He has used these edits carefully, and has managed to find a new paperbot. This week, the UnSignpost will be delivered by MantiBot. Subscribers can only hope the new delivery system works out, or the UnSignpost may be doomed.

Check out these pages! Testify! Taking the community down a peg Stop the madness! Think of the children! Etc.! From our logs: 16:52, 17 August 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked 203.212.136.160 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You are now officially really hated on Uncyclopedia. Congratulations.) 21:30, 16 August 2008 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked 72.220.124.187 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month, 2 days, 3 hours, 4 minutes, 5 seconds ‎ (Blanking a featured article? No mercy.) 06:19, 16 August 2008 Spang (Talk | contribs) blocked 121.72.7.62 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Go and write some bad poetry or something) 10:51, 20 August 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked Nmeallin (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (We regret to inform you that Chuck Norris does not approve of page blanking.) Biopic of the Week RAHB ~ One of the most (if not the most) decorated Uncyclopedians ever, RAHB is one of those guys who seems to be everywhere. Whether it's writing awesome stuff, taking care of crap, or banging out narrations, you can always count on this guy to be lurking somewhere in the bowels of Uncyclopedia, toiling away at his next project. This Week's Horoscopes GUARANTEED TO BE ACCURATE Cancer (June 22 - July 22) - Being grateful this week could result in improved relationships. Being grating this week could result in cheese fragments that will melt easily over nachos. see more horoscopes VFD Survivor of the week "One man touches the other/it's incest cus were all brothers/you may say its wrong/well its the touch eachother song" Pithy VFH Comment of the Week Meh. I liked the conversation bit, but the rest is pretty bland. Skull tells me he wrote it for a girl or something. And he admits himself that it isn't very good. Well, I wouldn't feature it anyways. Oh yeah, and everything you write is shit, Skull. Everything! Shit, shit, shit! Now start writing something funny, you SHITTY WRITER! Shit shit shit! SHIT!!! - RAHB (Unfomercials:Inspirigun)

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— MantiBot Owner 12:30, 22 August 2008 (UTC)

<insert>

<insert statement about how that forum topic is one of my all time favorites now> <insert statement that I'm not going to be on Uncyc as much as I want to for a little while>   Le Cejak • <14:01, 24 Aug 2008>

<insert statement highlighting the fact that nobody cares> -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

<insert statement regarding Mhaille's ego, and how he considers himself to be "so big">   Le Cejak • <15:13, 24 Aug 2008>

<insert statement regarding P.a.n... AAAAA!!! Bugger!> MrN  Fork you! 15:15, Aug 24

<insert statement inquiring if this would be a good place to whore my article? No Pun in ten did you know.> ??? MrN  Fork you! 15:18, Aug 24

<insert statement regarding MrN's whoring capabilities>   Le Cejak • <15:30, 24 Aug 2008>

<insert statement about how you're all gonna have to clean up these damn open insert tags on my talk page> -RAHB 21:44, 24 August 2008 (UTC)

</insert statement about how you're all gonna have to clean up these damn open insert tags on RAHB's talk page> --UU - natter 08:46, Aug 28

</insert statement regarding MrN's whoring capabilities> --UU - natter 08:46, Aug 28

</insert statement inquiring if this would be a good place to whore my article? No Pun in ten did you know.> --UU - natter 08:46, Aug 28

</insert statement regarding P.a.n... AAAAA!!! Bugger!> --UU - natter 08:46, Aug 28

</insert statement regarding Mhaille's ego, and how he considers himself to be "so big"> --UU - natter 08:46, Aug 28

</insert statement highlighting the fact that nobody cares> --UU - natter 08:46, Aug 28

</insert statement that Cajek's not going to be on Uncyc as much as I want to for a little while></insert statement about how that forum topic is one of Cajek's all time favorites now> --UU - natter 08:46, Aug 28 I think that's closed the lot for you, Mr Adminny RAHB type. No more broken code spilling across the talk page. --UU - natter 08:46, Aug 28

Help

My image on VFP needs the help that you say it does. It's just that, well... um... I'm not so good with photoshop. Any one you would know to do some touch ups? ~ Readmesoon

Well, I could give it a shot if you'd like, but I've never been very good at manipulating text in images. You could ask about it at UN:PIC, or get some advice at Uncyclopedia:Reefer Desk. Be aware though, if you're looking for a feature on it, it would be best to ask for advice and do the touching ups yourself, otherwise the person who makes it better will probably get the credit. -RAHB 23:28, 24 August 2008 (UTC)

Well, if I knew what all of the stuff does on photoshop, I could fix it myself, but I don't know that, so if that thing gets featured I have to learn quick or get someone to touch it up. I think I will get someone out there to do something for me. Perhaps you could give me a brief on what I should do?~ Readmesoon

The first thing you should do is dump Photoshop. Maybe not, I mean a lot of the guys here seem to like it. I think Fireworks is a lot easier to use, but then again, Photoshop has a lot more "authentic" sort of effects and stuff in it. Anyways, the second thing is, just fiddle with it. That's really the only way to learn it. Just mess around with effects and see what works here and there. And if it doesn't work? Just undo it and start something else. The Reefer Desk may be able to give you more specific tips on what tools to use and all that other jazz. And quite honestly, I'm not that good of a photoshopper. I'm probably the wrong guy to ask. But The Reefer Desk is the right guy to ask. Or the right place rather. Modus responds to just about everything, and there are other shopping guys who like to comment on occasion as well, but there's some really good advice that goes on there. -RAHB 00:40, 25 August 2008 (UTC)

Off?

See you soon RAHB. Thanks for clearing out the crap before you left. Have a good one. --UU - natter 08:40, Aug 28

Heh, thanks. And of course I had to check the QVFD one last time ;) -RAHB 08:41, 28 August 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: August 28th, 2008

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August 28^th, 2008 • SEVENTEENTH ISSUE SPECTACULAR • Word to your mother

Porn Wars End in Sticky Truce By Regret Tenenbaum At exactly 10:28 pm (UTC), Sir Led Balloon did the honors of emblazoning a golden '1000' in the count to a million project, a true milestone on the journey to seven-digit greatness. Another user celebrated by gracing the page with an unprecedented one-thousand-and-one pixel high "1001", which was quickly taken down. The user was, needless to say, embarrassed, yet happy that the uncouth horde of devoted Uncyclopedians had finally reached the number 1000, as such a milestone had not been reached since the number 100 and the end of the Porn Wars. On that note, the Porn Wars ended earlier this week with a tentative truce between Commander Jailbait and General Pervert. The war began the week before, when Regret posted a pin-up girl to balance Orian's photo of a scantily-clad male, claiming he was "bringing balance back to the universe." Regret also stated he would "fight to the death"... or at least until Leddy stepped in, this time to call a "three-pornstuffs rule", which eventually ended the erotic feud. Meth, a constant editor on the forum, said "'twas a fortunate day for all under 18." Still, even with peace returning to the forum, not all is well in the land of counting. On the subject of reaching 1000, one dissenting user said: "Perhaps we should seriously consider stopping there. I mean that would be 1/1000 of the goal! Imagine doing this whole thing, 1000 times. That would mean 3000 archives, give or take." To which another user responded, "unfortunately for you, Nobody cares." Nevertheless, as long as there are users with nothing better to do, the Forum will always trudge on, giving Uncyclopedians something with which to kill thirty seconds, and also giving UnSignpost reporters something to write about. Lack of cure for testicular cancer kills 100 Uncyc members By Methamphetamine Uncycloversity members are still failing to find a cure for our previously mentioned testicular cancer, and to date, 100 people have died of said cancer. When nobody died, some user said it was a rumor made by some other user to piss us all off, right before clutching his balls in pain and dropping dead. Within an hour, about 16 more people died a cancer-related death. A live update shows that 105 users are now dead. You could be next! Don't panic, that'll make you die faster. Regret Tenenbaum, the user who originally warned of the disease, had this to say: "I TOLD YOU SO!" to which he added "Na-nanana-nanana!" The death toll is expected to reach into the thousands, with no end in sight. A memorial was set up earlier today to remember the dead, with one number added for every fallen Uncyclopedian. With fear and panic filling the hearts of users everywhere, there is one question that is on everyone's mind: "WHY GOD, WHY?!" Another live update show that 200 people have now died, and out of those, 10 people killed themselves in anxiety. Remember to always feel your testicles with your fingers. That's right. It helps prevent the cancer from reproducing.

Check out these pages! VOTE VOTE VOT Everyone tell Cajek what they've been up to Who is the man behind Uncyc's curtain? The truth about wikia's staff! From our logs: 05:22, 20 August 2008 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked 12.219.249.248 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 days, 14 hours, 15 minutes, 93 seconds ‎ (Blanking Africa does not make it go away.) 20:45, 24 August 2008 Olipro (Talk | contribs) blocked Norwich (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (and you're an annoying cuntfluff) 09:39, 26 August 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 93.190.63.2 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (o hai, no blank plz. kthxbai.) 00:41, 27 August 2008 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) huffed My balls (content was: 'Sweaty and hot.') Biopic of the Week TheLedBalloon - Feature machine and Star Wars aficionado, Uncyc's resident hockey expert has come a long way from his humble beginnings. Seeming to appear on talk pages where there is conflict brewing as if there was some giant balloon signal silhoutted against the clouds, Led's recent oppage ensures that he has the tools to keep Uncyc as most excellent as possible. Old-school featured article of the week Five-time World RiskTM Champion Napoleon Bonaparte was a man of great stature. He enjoyed many military victories, revolutionizing armed combat. He rose to the rank of Emperor, and came closer than any diabolical supervillian has (before or since) to conquering the world. Unfortunately, nobody took him seriously because he was short. This Week's Horoscopes NOW UPDATED FOR WEEK OF 8/25/08 Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18) - Think long and hard before misdirection-linking to the Uncyclopedia article on Penis, as it could result in stiff competition between you and other members of your unit. see more horoscopes

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–—Hv (talk) 30/08 20:02

UnSignpost: September 4th, 2008

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September 4th, 2008 • Eighteenth Issue • STOP!! SIGNPOST TIME!!

Uncyclopedia copies Conservapedia By Gerrycheevers Recently, on the fact-based no-spin-zone wiki known as Conservapedia, there has been debate raging over whether to ban all atheists from contributing. Apparently conservapedians believe atheists (those who deny the existence of the creator) to be at the very least a hinderance, and at the very most a hideous group of venom-spitting demon-eyed savages who feed on the blood of children. If this motion garners enough support it may become a 'Conservapedia Commandment', along with 'no girls allowed' and 'slow down, this is a neighborhood.' Mild amusement and complete apathy were rampant among Uncyclopedians yesterday. Some poked fun at the silly conservatives for proposing such a Nazi-esque measure. Others took up the reigns in a new thread: should atheists (of Cthulhu) be barred from Uncyclopedia? It seems support for this action is widespread, and soon 'Cthulhu tests' will be administered to random users at random times. Failure of such tests will result in soul consumption. User Heerenveen had this to say: "I believe that it shouldn't matter whether you are an avid worshipper of Cthulhu, just someone who pretends to like Cthulhu to fit in with your mates, or indeed a foaming-at-the-crotch atheist (of Cthulhu), you should be infinibanned from Uncyc regardless. Unless, of course, you are Cajek," to which Orian57 added, "Richard Dawkins is so sexy." As is the norm here on Uncyclopedia, the controversy was immediately parodied, and then the parody of the controversy was summarily parodied. It has yet to be seen whether the parody of the parody will in fact be parodied. Movie Trailer Announcer Guy Dead at 68 By Gerrycheevers IN A WORLD where JUSTICE is a distant memory...where HOPE seems desperately out of reach...where THROATY BARITONES are hard to come by... ...ONE MAN performed voice-overs for OVER NINETY FOUR THOUSAND FILMS. His DEEPLY SONOROUS VOICE could turn even the most BORING movie into AN ALL-OUT THRILLER... ...Most famously known for THAT GEICO COMMERCIAL HE DID, that man's NAME was DON LAFONTAINE. Critics hailed him as 'THAT MOVIE TRAILER ANNOUNCER GUY' and 'THE DUDE WITH THE CRAZY VOICE'... ...On Monday, LaFontaine PASSED AWAY suddenly when a FIERY EXPLOSION in a SHRAPNEL FACTORY caused the TURBO-CHARGED SPORTSCAR in which he was being pursued by MONGOL HORDES to CAREEN OVER A CLIFF. He was 68...

Check out these pages! Another user says goodbye CENSORED Unflinchingly rigid vanity guidlines to take effect immediately From our logs: 07:32, 29 August 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 68.42.174.41 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Blanking is uncreative, feeble-minded, and scientifically proven to be evidence of underdeveloped genitalia.) 20:57, 31 August 2008 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 81.109.95.6 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Go masturbate somewhere else.) 03:32, 2 September 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 202.59.31.226 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Exemplary douchehattery.) Biopic of the Week 15Mickey20, Uncyc's resident tennis analyst, has won virtually every writing award and competition in existence on the entire site. His PLS and Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball entries were both later featured, and his WotM award stems from the rest of his totally awesome articles. Mickey Mantle is pictured a the right for no reason at all. Old-school Featured Article of the Week Hammers are extremely useful tools, most usually used for whacking stuff. Employed by Norse Gods, Italian plumbers, and 90s rap artists, the hammer can also be used to gouge out eyes and perform other tasks. Reading up on this article will result in increased knowledge of the hammer life cycle and sexual abuse of hammers, but may also cause severe cranial damage. This Week's Horoscopes Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22) - When you assume, you typically make an ass out of Ume. And you know how sensitive that guy is. see more horoscopes

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―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 5/09 16:39

Where'd you go???

We miss being RAHBed on a daily basis! ...come to think of it, where'd I go?   Le Cejak • <14:11, 09 Sep 2008>

What he said... where are ya? How's life? Updates? – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • formspring) 01:33 Sep 14, 2008

WE NEED OUR RAHB BACK! - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 23:21, Sep 17

RAHB!!! Where'd you go? Feels like it's been forever since you've been gone. Please come back home. Not your actual home... Just any place with internet access. --00:09, 18 September 2008 (UTC)

I've told you, RAHB will be released once my demands are met. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Ugh, It's been an arduous process getting internet into my new apartment. I'm at my dad's house posting this message right now. I'll try to keep you guys as updated as possible. Also, woah, when the hell did you come back Skull? How is everybody, anyways? What's new in Uncyc-land that I've been missing? -RAHB 00:44, 20 September 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: September 11th, 2008

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September 11^th, 2008 • Nineteenth Issue • All your readers are belong to us

Uncyclopedia celebrates 9/11 By Cajek 8 years ago, America was attacked or something. Uncyclopedians, who are true patriots, celebrated the eighth anniversary in true American fashion: by doing mostly nothing of interest to anyone but themselves. The UnSignpost devoted nine-hundred-eleven minutes of silence to the event Thursday by not even bothering to send itself out. "The Unsignpost was there nine years ago during those super not-kewl terrorist attacks," said chief writer Gerrycheevers. "I wasn't part of the staff then, so I promise that, in the 911th issue, we will devote a whole article to the events of that frabjuous day." In the 911th year of publication, the Unsignpost promises to dedicate the whole issue to 9/11 and those rascally terrorists. "We've already got 911 stories lined up for publication!" said staff photographer Larry. "It's too bad we have to wait so long to get them to the public, but that's what happens when you honor a holiday like this the way you're SUPPOSED to." Uncyclopedia's main page was 11/9-themed for the occasion. When Mordillo and Spang were alerted that nothing interesting happened on November ninth, 2001, Larry, Mordillo's public relations officer, claimed that "it [didn't] matter: One date is the same as the next. Why don't you Unsignpost people shut the hell up? Oh, and uh, I won't be able to come in Monday: it's my sister's wedding." Other wikis in cyberspace exist, and therefore did things relating to 9/11. Conservapedia, a conservative parody of Uncyclopedia, celebrated by drawing figures of Mohammed on their private nuclear stockpile. Legopedia celebrated by informing the public of Lego's new action series: 9/11: the Suckiest Thing Ever. Jengapedia honored the fallen by sponsoring a 911 minute championship Jenga competition. Liberalpedia, on the other hand, did nothing of any consequence. >:( FUCK YOU LIBERALS!! FUCK YOUUUU!!!! The Unsignpost would like to print a retraction of it's 47th issue from September 11th, 2001, wherein the terrorist attacks were called "super-kewl" and the terrorists themselves hailed as heroes. Those responsible have been sacked. Conservation Week Returns! By Gerrycheevers Conservation Week, also known as 'Rewrite-a-thon' or 'De-crap-ification', is upon our community once again. Twice a year, Uncyclopedians band together to clean out the weeds and squirrel corpses from promising trees found in the rewrite category, among other places. Due to the retirement of co-founder Jocke Pirat and quasi-inactiveness of co-founder THE, another user has stepped in with promises to annoy every user until they rewrite at least one article. That user shall remain anonymous. Opening day for this well-liked, popular, and intriguing event is Monday the 15th. The winner of the competition will receive the Greasy Mechanic Award for having rewritten the most articles in the two-week competition. Past winners include THE and Jocke Pirat. Be sure to participate early so as to avoid annoying requests to "rewrite an article, you lazy git!" The event has thrown into sharp relief the lack of Uncyclopedia events, or the excess of Uncyclopedia events, depending on who you ask. Ideas like Forest Fire Week and Everyone Edit A Ton Of Articles Week have not received much support, but may be enacted in the future to keep ADD-riddled Uncyclopedians something to do for five minutes. RC takes home NotM By Gerrycheevers After years of fruitless nominations, Rcmurphy has finally won n00b of the Month. The announcement came last week, when none of the three candidates fufilled the requirements necessary for winning the n00by. It seemed the two new users had both failed to write an article, and So So did not meet the main n00bishness requirement. Since there was no clear winner, the award went to Rc by Rule 4.1, Clause 3 of the NotM eligibility guidelines. As far as the NotM badge itself, it was initally placed on So So's userpage. After relenquishing the honor to Rcmurphy, So So proceeded to foul the badge and offer it to the user who wanted it the most. After the planned Panel of Penis Monkeys from Outer Space cancelled, a phone-in contest was held, in which Colin "All your base" Heaney dominated the competiton. He took home the badge and now proudly displays the feces-ridden merit on his userpage. In a related story, Rcmurphy is up for NotM yet again. However, he is facing stiff competition from W.T. Door, a U.S. Navy seamen who spends his time swabbing decks, battoning down hatches, and writing cool stuff.

Check out these pages! More fanmail from celebrities Responding response VF...R? From our logs: 22:25, 5 September 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 90.130.4.52 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Disliking the Matrix.) 06:19, 9 September 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.240.72.222 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Oh, please. My grandmother could take down the US Military if she so desired.) 11:07, 11 September 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 125.27.19.223 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (The cabal cartel deems you unworthy for further edits.) Biopic of the Week Adored by his hordes of fans, Cajek can usually be found in the 'ban room'. Uncyc's fifth-most featured author, one can argue that he has revolutionized the wiki with his unique writing style. His regulation of Pee Review and founding of this very periodical are among the many ways he has somehow managed to contribute to the site between his bans. Old-school Featured Article of the Week Perhaps the most feared out of any of the creatures that walk the Earth, the Gazebo is as lethal as it is deadly. Known for their excellent camouflage and for being extremely protective of their young (pictured), humans can only hope to never encounter one of these legendary beasts in their lifetime. This Week's Horoscopes GUARANTEED TO BE ACCURATE Cancer (June 22 - July 22) - There is travel in your future followed by a lack of travel, followed by very slow travel. Things you'll be sitting in include sports car, hospital bed and electric wheelchair controlled by a blow tube. see more horoscopes Retraction of the Week Last issue we claimed that people from Eurasia are "subhuman scum". We would like to make a hasty retreat from this. Those responsible have been promoted and reassigned, against all the wishes of God and man. I'M LOOKING AT YOU, GERRY!! Re-retraction of the Week Last week we retracted our claim that "all mammals, including humans, should be killed and stockpiled for the coming nuclear winter." We would like to retract that retraction for reasons that can't be given in full in this issue. EDITOR'S NOTE: Look for a full explanation in about four issues VFD Survivor of the Week Movie Of Lady Whose Ankle Is Showing is pornography film set for release in the summer of 2009. Not since Keira Knightley In A White Corset And Kate Beckinsale In A Black One has producer/director Robot Thomas Edison so brilliantly captured handicap fetishes or William Shatner's Jewishness. Starring Paris Hilton as Dickin Mymouth, Rosie O'Donnell as Your Mother, and William Hung as Tingle the Magical Flying Aardvark of Justice, this is one film that is sure to captivate audiences worldwide. Sabbatical of the Week Under user has gone to some hemisphere other than his own, possibly the bottom one. We here at the UnSignpost wish him a trip free of kangaroo attacks, drop bear maulings, swarms of dozens and dozens of scorpions, and the various other pleasentries from down under.

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— MantiBot Owner 11:16, 17 September 2008 (UTC)

Hea!

I remember you! Welcome back. Hope all is well... :-) MrN  Fork you! 00:44, Sep 20

Unfortunately I'm not back yet =( I'm just updating some things and checking up while I'm at my dad's place. My apartment still doesn't have internet, so I'm not sure when I'm gonna really be "back." Hope it's soon though. I miss all you crazy uncyc guys. -RAHB 00:46, 20 September 2008 (UTC)

We need our daily dose of RAHB back! - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 01:46, Sep 20

RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHBBBBB!!! That is all. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 01:54, Sep 20

Monday. I swear it's Monday now. If it isn't Monday, you guys should expect to hear a news report soon of a tech support guy who was gruesomly murdered by drowning in his own blood. That won't help me get my internet back, but it'll sure make me feel good. -RAHB 02:20, 20 September 2008 (UTC)

Social gyroscope

Why did you huff this page? Necessary Evil 22:42, 27 September 2008 (UTC)

Because the expand tag on it expired after a month of no edits. -RAHB 03:06, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

Talk Bubble

Would you mind undeleting it for me? I only put the redirect up on QVFD before Spang moved it back. Thanks. JudgeZarbi TALK 12:13, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

Ah. Thought there was something odd about the fact that it wasn't a redirect of any sort. It's back now =) -RAHB 12:19, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

Thanks a lot, RAHB =) JudgeZarbi TALK 12:21, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

why did you remove my page on how to destroy a pc using DOS??? That was a very wikipedia-ish thing to do!!! If I want my shit deleted, I will go to wikipedia instead!!

I removed it because it wasn't funny. Take a look around the damn site. We don't like unfunny stuff. Wikipedia deletes things that aren't notable. They don't like unnotable stuff. There are plenty of places on the internet for you to dump whatever type of shit you like on them. Other sites have standards. This site has standards. Nowhere here does it say "we keep everything forever, no matter how stupid." Get an idea of what the site is before you start bitching about its rules. -RAHB 04:57, 29 September 2008 (UTC)

Judge Zarbi has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

- For giving me my talk bubble back, and being nice. JudgeZarbi TALK 20:10, 30 September 2008 (UTC)

Cool. -RAHB 20:14, 30 September 2008 (UTC)

UnNews

I've noticed that the "Featured UnNews" templates have been left unchanged for a long, long time. I'm not sure what the policy is on those, so is it cool if I start updating them? --Mr. Monkey Pant-hoot here. 22:27, 29 September 2008 (UTC)

Yeah, I was wondering about that. Zim ulator used to do it, and then I was assigned for a while after he disappeared. With all the new admin maintenance, I've been having less time to do it, and the last month I was without internet. Seeing as you're a good, respectable user, and a prolific UnNews contributor, I have no problem with you taking over the reins. In fact, I feel rather good about it, so by all means, go on ahead. If anybody gives you any trouble about it, tell them I said it was OK. Let me know if you have any questions about it. -RAHB 22:32, 29 September 2008 (UTC)

/me polishes RAHB's shoulders... MrN  Fork you! 22:37, Sep 29

Um...thank you? -RAHB 22:40, 29 September 2008 (UTC)

huff

Hi, sorry I wasn't careful with the double redirect bit - how does it occur or where to read about it? -- Style  Guide 07:13, 2 October 2008 (UTC)

Oh, no worries. A double redirect is when one page redirects to another page that is also a redirect. It most commonly happens when you move a page twice, which is what happened in your case. You see, when you move a page, the old page becomes a redirect to the new page. So when the new page is moved, you end up having a redirect to a redirect. It's fine though, there's a special page I go to a few times a day to look for double redirects, and I can just delete the original redirect in the click of a button. If you know of a double redirect you created, simply list it on QVFD, and somebody will come along and delete it eventually. Hope all that helps. -RAHB 07:30, 2 October 2008 (UTC)

Chinese empire

um how am i supposed to improve an article thats huffed? at least restore for a short while enought to dump its contents on my userpage so i can write it up later.ㄏㄨㄤㄉㄧ 03:53, 3 October 2008 (UTC)

Image:King Penis.jpg

I replyed my reason about Image talk:King Penis.jpg. please read and discuss, if you still hae some question. --Brandy Frisky 18:50, 3 October 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: October 3rd, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper With Words n' Shit!

October 2^nd, 2008 • ALL-KITTEN ISSUE • Your #1 source for Cajek ban jokes!

Uncyclopedia's Name Changed By Cajek According to Wikia staff member Sannse, Uncyclopedia's advertising revenue is below expectations and must rename itself to appeal to the younger generation. "I think the problem is that 'Uncyclopedia' has lost its edge," Sannse said to a crowd of squirrels and kittens gathered around the Uncyclo-stables last Saturday, "...all of which is contained in its name." Older users, like Mordillo, the jew who secretly controls "Uncyc," and TheLedBalloon, who is an inanimate balloon, strongly petition for the name to stay the same. The Unsignpost couldn't be bothered to actually read the forum that Sannse created, but we're assuming that everyone's against changing the name to "Asparagus.org" or something. The name change will reflect the personalities and interests of every single contributor. "Yeah, Asparagus.org is gonna have to do until we figure out what would be a good name," Sannse yelled at a local gathering of squirrels in Uncyclopedia's break room. Many users have complained about the change, but not AsparagusSignPost, which has run into a little trouble with the law recently, and doesn't want to go back to jail by disobeying "the man" or causing "drama". Because, as we ALL know, some head writers have been banned a whole bunch of times for being "different". So to Asparagus.org we say: "Keep the funnies coming, unless someone is forecasting your doom again..." Uncyclopedia's Doom Forecasted By Gerrycheevers For the first time in over two weeks, the flaming death of this silly wiki has been predicted in some form. Last time it was that stain that looked puzzlingly like Jimbo Wales, the time before it was that bird that flew overhead. You know the one I mean. This time around, undead user Necropaxx has pointed out several recent disturbing trends that seem to mean only one thing: Uncyc is about to suffer its death throes. It seems this time that the demise of the wiki will also utterly destroy the souls of every one of the dozens of users who contribute here regularly. Tidings such as this have frightened new users such as September NotM Multiliteralist, who had his to say: "Oh no." Several of the signs that Uncyclopedia is doomed are unarguably true: VFP is stagnant due to the lack of Zombiebaron activity. The Pee Review queue is backed up worse than a public toilet after Cinco de Mayo. Modusoperandi seems to be malfunctioning, as he has dispensed with his usual biting wit in favor of just plain biting. It appears, in at least a few users' eyes, that Uncyc has "jumped the kitten". Lack of News Wreaks Havoc on UnSignpost By Regret Tenenbaum In an unprecedented press conference earlier this week, UnSignpost editor-in-chief Mr. Gerry Cheevers (the user, not the hockey player) admitted that "This week's issue is actually still a blank template", further stating "I've been swamped at work, and today developed cold-like symptoms." However, some experts disagree on the cause of an UnSignpost devoid of news. "There is an obvious explanation for the lack of gratifying news stories in the USP this week," said Mr. News Guy, the world-renowned news reporter, kitten enthusiast, and unicycle-fetish expert. "There is just no news to report on," he continued, to which the reporter we borrowed from UnNews responded "And what's causing this lack of news?" "That's just it! There's no news to report on!" "So... you're saying is, the reason there's no news is because there's no news?" "Exactly! And it's just a matter of time until some attention whore writes a stupid and redundant story on the fact that there's no news!" This story is dedicated to the memory of Mr. News Guy, whose body was recovered from the Los Angeles river the next day.

Check out these pages! Feature Kitten Huffing (Again)! Sarah Palin hates kittens Our kitten overlord returns, bearing a gift From our logs: 7:41, 20 September 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Just got back. Haven't banned Cajek in a month. Gotta get my fix. CLICK. Aaaaaah yeeeeeahhh. That's gooood shit.) 19:36, 21 September 2008 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked Reggie4 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 days ‎ (You have 2 cows. Both of them are banned.) 12:16, 23 September 2008 Cajek (Talk | contribs) blocked a kitten (Talk | contibs) with an expiry time of 4 hours (it's lonely in the ban room, i want a friend) 19:01, 24 September 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 207.236.90.177 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (I tire of your actions. Begone, ye pointlessness, from yon wiki.) 06:59, 1 October 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 69.106.6.52 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Pro Cat-in-the-hat vandalism? I think the internet just hit a new low.) Biopic of the Week DJ Irreverent: HAS A LIL' KITTEN!!! Old School Featured Article of the Week Kitten Huffing is the newest form of street activity that is corrupting the youth of the nation. Your nation, that is. By ingesting kittens nasally, one can enjoy a euphoric 'high' of sorts, complete with snazzy colors and loss of motor skills. A prepped kitten awaiting huffing is pictured. Kitten huffing has spawned many parodies and non-existant memes, but the act of snorting live kittens is no joke. This Week's Horoscopes GUARANTEED TO BE ACCURATE Cancer (June 22 - July 22) - Enjoy the time you spend with your kitten this week because...um...just in case... see more horoscopes People with Kittens this week This guy. Sabbatical of the Week Zombiebaron has taken an extended leave to ease his undead mind and change out his forest-green blood. He may or may not be traveling to some of the most luxurious and tropical destinations that Canada has to offer. He may or may not still ban you while he is away. His sabbatical may or may not be kitten-related. Stay tuned to the UnSignpost for the latest developments on ZB's location.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

-- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 23:20, 3 October 2008 (UTC)

You're back for good!

We need to do all those things we talked about back in our college days! Oh man: my brain's a-buzzin'!   Le Cejak • <5:14, 06 Oct 2008>

Oh yes sir, man. Tomorrow and Tuesday are very busy for me, but I've got all day Wednsday and Thursday, and probably Friday to just do whatever. You can guarantee some good stuff happening. And I happen to have just picked up these SPECTACULAR audio headphones as part of my starting kit here at the school. So I'll be up to the task of all those audios. My creative energy is up in this great environment, so writing is coming back too. What should we get started on first? -RAHB 05:21, 6 October 2008 (UTC)

Start, in your userspace I guess, the "neighborhood" one! Oh man: I can't wait to see the look on the world's face when we unleash a Cajek-RAHB collab! Remember: your old neighborhood had annual animal-fucking festivals, I believe. We need to mention that somewhere in there... Oh, and Polar Express is up for some kind of "vote for highlight" or something, so if you wanted to do the audio for that, now's the time my friend!   Le Cejak • <5:28, 06 Oct 2008>

Awesome. I'll try to fit some audio time in tomorrow if I can. And all the Old Neighborhood information can be found right here. Woo! -RAHB 05:36, 6 October 2008 (UTC)

Get some good sleep buddy, see you Tuesday, Thursday & Friday!   Le Cejak • <5:37 Oct 06, 2008>

That's wednsday, thursday, and friday. Have a good one bro. The revolution cometh... -RAHB 05:39, 6 October 2008 (UTC)

Just poppin' by!

Hey RAHB, long time no see. That was my fault of course, I've just been lurking around. Anyway, I intend to write a couple articles. Would you mind helping me? You see, I want to write UnNews: There's a pimple on my ass. It's just, I have no clue how to start it. Would you help me? Th basic idea of the story would be thus: In this time of constant news, a completely uninformed journalist can find nothing better to write about than the blemish on his arse. The whole article could be about him assessing the situation. He might even request an interview with his doctor about what he thinks it is: a wart, pimple, tumor, mole, chigger, mosquito bite, or whatever. He could go into gruesome detail about its appearance. What do you think? Should I go through with it? And how should I start it? WIll someone steal my idea and beat me to the punch? Only RAHB knows. :D --Liz muffin 02:17, 8 October 2008 (UTC)

Glad to see you back thinking about writing again Liz. The premise sounds very similar to a lot of "I'm doing something normal" style UnNewses we get around here. However, I could definitely help you take it to the next level. But it'll have to be tomorrow (Wednesday, in Pacific time). But you can definitely count on my assistance. Glad to see you back =D -RAHB 02:53, 8 October 2008 (UTC)

Alright, but could we make it, THIS Wednesday? I kinda spaced... oops. I'm sorry. I'll try to actually be there this time... I need to keep up with stuff better. You know what, I'll go ahead and start, and then you can just jack it up, alot. XD --Liz muffin 02:46, 15 October 2008 (UTC)

You know what, suck that, I'll just wait on you for your omniscient help. Also, congrats on your article about The Polar Express. I loved it, because in my opinion, it's the worst childrens' book in the history of humanity. --Liz muffin 03:32, 15 October 2008 (UTC)

Well, the Polar Express was Cajek's article... Anyways, yes, I am here now. So...let's get started? -RAHB 19:21, 15 October 2008 (UTC)

Indeed! How would you say is a good way to start this kind of article, I've never done UnNews at all. But you would know that, wouldn't you. I mean, you've overseen me since day 3, I think. Have you any examples of a "doing something normal" article? Or is that just an insult that means this article is not worth spending time on? If that's the case, I'll just find a new concept, or go back to the grousome howto on breeding rats in your bloodstream? I always planned to do that one. Anyway, I figure I could go one way or another. Something really crazy and demented, or something that's likely to turn out stupid, and not really funny. Also, I could have sworn you at least semi-sort of co-author helped or whatever on Polar Express. Ah, well. --Liz muffin 20:48, 15 October 2008 (UTC) -Another question, how do people make these godly signatures?

Well, the concept hardly matters on an article as long as you execute it right. There are several exceptions to that rule, but that's still how I see it. It most closely reminded me of UnNews:My balls itch, a very similar concept. Whatever you feel is the right way to go with it, do it I say. That's what it's all about. As far as the Rats article, I'd be very excited to see that one. That's definitely one you should do eventually, regardless of whether this UnNews is written or not.

The Polar Express article was all Cajek, but you may be thinking of a conversation he and I were having about it a while ago where I was going to do some audio for it. I still haven't gotten around to that yet, but one of these days I plan to. As for your signature, I can help you with that too, if you'd like. Just a little fiddling with code and subpages, and a tick in the preferences area. So your call from here. Type "down" to go south. Type "up" to go north. Type "UnNews" to write an UnNews. Type "Rats" to write about rats. Type "Sig" to get a signature. Type "get" to search for treasure. Type "kill" to commit suicide. -RAHB 21:05, 15 October 2008 (UTC)

This is a toughy, but I think I'm going to have to go with... UnNews. Final Answer. Yes Regis, I FUCKING MEAN IT!!!! THIS IS MY FINAL FUCKING ANSWER!... *dammit*. After I get some positive/negative/homicidal feedback, I think I'll move on to Rats. I'm going to attempt to get a start on that today, I'll place it somewhere in my page, heck, I'll just put it right on there, no one ever does anything to anything I've done, except the bastard who stuck a lame end on my sex story, and it went something like this, "also ima girl. but don't ask you don't wanna know". *sigh* Oh, well. It'll only be there a few days, 'till I submit it. Now, I dunno much about how UnNews works, 'cept just how to submit it on the UnNews sub-site, and how to read it. If you wanna give me a clue, that'd be great. Also, if you'd like to explain how to make attractive and awesomish Signatures, in a nutshell, that's be nice. Also, oh Oz, if you could send me home, that'd be much appreciated.--Liz muffin 04:27, 17 October 2008 (UTC) - ewww! So fugly plain.

You've just won 32,000 dollars! And you will now not leave here with any less than that. For the rats article, you know you can make userspace articles. To do that, just do User:Liz muffin/Article title, and it'll create the thing in a subpage of your own username. In userspace, you can do whatever the hell you want, so you don't have to worry about deadlines, or immediately high quality or anything. You can just build it up overtime, and it doesn't take your userpage up. Also yeah, just revert any stupid stuff people put on pages like that. I get those showing up on my watchlist a lot. Some articles more than others. UnNews basically works the same way any article does. If you know how to create it, you can copy the format and UnNews templates from any other UnNews article, and then pretty much just write it in the style of any news report, though there are any number of variations you could put on it. Also, when you create a new UnNews page with the little tool on the UnNews main page, it should come stock with some comments in the page that tell you the basic format. That's what helped me early on. That and Zim's welcome template, but he's been gone it seems. I should really start distributing that for him. That's probably why UnNews has been kind of slow lately actually. Damn...anyways, that was me rambling. You can start learning about signatures at UN:SIG, and I can help you further once you get the beginning of it all set up. In conclusion, click your heels together three times and chant "there's no place like home. There's no place like home." -RAHB 06:36, 17 October 2008 (UTC)

I don't hate you

And for this, you have achieved far more than any user on here in a while. Have a hippie. Ж Kalir, Awesome Author_{(alliteration affords additional awesome)} 04:30, 9 October 2008 (UTC)

Coooooooooooool maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan. /me lights up a fat doobie -RAHB 04:46, 9 October 2008 (UTC)

RAHB!!!!

Thankee for the MESSAGE!!! But, mine is bigger :D. What's going on now-a-days?

The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 17:27, 9 October 2008 (UTC)

Ah, no fair =( yours is green too.... What's going on? What's going on?! WHAT'S GOING ON?!! I'm at this awesome art school right now where I'm majoring in audio production, in this awesome school-sponsored luxury apartment, with awesome rommmates and awesome teachers in my courses who have won awesome awards in the field, like grammys and emmys, and in three years I'm gonna be awesome like them! That's what's going on! What about you? -RAHB 17:40, 9 October 2008 (UTC)

Yes, I win :D. That sounds...awesome! I'm happy for you! I'm uh..late for class. This message was poorly planned...I'll write again later! The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 13:13, 13 October 2008 (UTC)

Unsignpost: October 10th 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper With Words n' Shit!

October 9^th, 2008 • Twenty-First Issue • Bursting with Crunchy Goodness!

Uncyclopedia Stock Plummets By Gerrycheevers Uncyclopedia stockholders are in a state of panic after shares of Uncyclomedia fell over 60% this week amid fears of a writing recession. "I just can't gamble on a rebound," said one investor as he carefully climbed out onto his window ledge overlooking Wall Street, perhaps seeking some fresh air. "With the current economic and comedic climate, and rumors of the destruction of the website, it looks like Uncyc Incorporated is about to fold." Other investors are slightly more optimistic. We ran into a smartly dressed woman in the Uncyc break room and were intrigued as to why a female would ever have enough confidence in the wiki to invest the large sum of one dollar bills she was counting. It turned out that she was a stripper, but we did eventually find someone who still had faith in the company. "There's so much more to the Uncyclopedia Empire than just the humor wiki," said confident money-man Chet Hardluck. "There's the kitten factory, the escort service, the games & sports division...and don't forget the world's largest boron-smelting plant!" When it was pointed out that these claims are in fact bollocks (except for the boron plant), Hardluck joined the queue of businessmen waiting their turn to get some frsh air on the suddenly popular ledge. The fate of the Uncyclopedia corporation remained unclear at press time. Some say that if Uncyc stock plummets through enough negative numbers, the stock will reset itself at zero, resulting in huge negative negative profits for those who bought the stock whilst it was negative. Uncyclopedia announces invasion of YouTube This week the first UnTunes was uploaded onto YouTube, the video sharing site so weighed down by copyright infringements that it certainly would not float in the tub. Our staff couldn't be bothered to watch the video, but we assume from the description of the foray that it is some sort of archival recordings of Oscar Wilde being awesome. The first upload began a series of incursions onto YouTube by all types of Uncyclopedians. Some made sense, such as article narrations and UnTunes. Some were questionable, such as the gangsta rap video by the usually timid Sycamore. But nearly 99% of all material in the 'Uncyclopedia' category is patent nonsense, such as a visualization of AAAAAAA!, faceoffs between George Bush & Kanye West and Steve Ballmer & various other injokes, and a 'don't blink contest' featuring Gert5 staring into a camera for nine hours.

Check out these pages! Be nice to n00bs! Poop management A modest proposal From our logs: 17:23, 4 October 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked AdamtheSpud (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Thou shalt not create stupid MySpace vanity; nor shalt thou spam links to it across the site, lest ye be smited) 02:00, 6 October 2008 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked 100100100 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Jesus rang. He hates you for blanking your neighbor's article. Also, he says he caught you mastrubating the other day. They're reserving a spot in the ninth circle of hell for you. Enjoy!) 23:50, 6 October 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 72.147.9.218 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(Excuse me my kind sir, but may I please ask of you what the fuck you're doing?) Biopic of the Week The Thinker is an Uncyclopedia powerhouse. He was last year's bestest writer and is the proud papa of 17 featured articles (and proud co-papa of a further 14). He has won numerous awards for his writing skills, journalistic style, and sexy baritone. His fame and fortune stem from his daily routine of cleansing the body and spirit. Old-School Featured Article of the Week The Swedish Orienteering And Firing A Rat From A Cannon Championships is an annual Swedish tradition dating back to simpler times, when the joy of launching rodents into a lake could light up the face of the young and old alike. However, protests and scandals have recently threatened this once-great occasion, and interest has dwindled to the point where the land of Sweden is once again littered with unlaunched rats.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

— Sir Sycamore (talk) 18:30, 10 October 2008 (UTC)

Frank Zappa

Is this week's colonization. Go forth my penis son! ~ 10:57, 12 October 2008 (UTC)

Get writing!

For the glory of her majesty is this week's Colonization. Your Uncyclopedia needs you!! You asked for it and now For the glory of her majesty is to be transformed by our band of rewriting brothers. It is your duty as an Uncyclopedian to join the invading army, go forth and spread the funny word. Good luck, my friend.

-- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey)  11:19, 12 October 2008 (UTC)

Let's do this... -RAHB 17:59, 12 October 2008 (UTC)

Michelangelo Antonioni

Why was my article on Michelangelo Antonioni deleted? For the informed reader it was funnier than a bag full of reptiles wearing pants. ~ User:NathAnonymous 7:07, 15 October 2008 (UTC)

First of all, why the hell did you post this comment halfway up my talk page? Bizarre. Second of all, it had an expand tag on it, I'm not sure if you noticed that. But the tag has long expired and it was my job to clean out the category. If you'd like it back, I can restore it to your userspace, or I can restore it to mainspace with a construction tag. It just needs to be lengthened before it can stand alone. -RAHB 00:32, 16 October 2008 (UTC)

~ Yeah, I don't use the site enough to have known, I just went for the one that said Talk Bubble. Made sense at the time. I did not notice the Expand Tag, I only got an email today saying it had been modified & upon checking it found it deleted. A construction tag would do nicely. I'll try to find some thyme during work to whip up a nice soufflé de la funny. ~ User:NathAnonymous 7:47, 15 October 2008 (UTC)

You're good to go. Have a nice day =) -RAHB 00:53, 16 October 2008 (UTC)

Template:countryname

I am the author of Template:countryname. I have to correct some mistake of it. Please unlock it for me. I will ask you to re-lock it later. Thank You!--Hant (Talk) - For your safety, China Free! - 00:55, 16 October 2008 (UTC)

Modusoperandi have done for me. Thank You!--Hant (Talk) - For your safety, China Free! - 01:34, 16 October 2008 (UTC)

OK. Cool. -RAHB 01:54, 16 October 2008 (UTC)

sorry...new here

you deleted my "apocrypha discordia"...it begins w/ "children of militant enlightenment"...i would like it back for personal reasons & it is unfinished. please. why did u delete it?

can u email it back to me?

09:22, 16 October 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) huffed "Apocrypha Discordia" ‎ (content was: ' == This Page has been seized by The Children of Militant Enlightenment == Sure, Thornly was the All-Father...Omar K. Ravenhurst was the prodigal son, Frankenstiens' Monster...Military Pranksta mutated by MK-Ultra, Maniaca...')

English bill of rights

I think it was a bit shitty of you to delete my stuff on English William of Rights but I suppose that's the way Uncyclopedia works. MollyTheCat 21:02, 16 October 2008 (UTC)

What I delete is nothing personal, and it's not to be a bitch. I deleted it because there was a maintenance tag on it, and the maintenance tag expired without any edits. That's my job. It's what I do. However, if you'd like it back, I could restore it to your userspace for you. -RAHB 21:06, 16 October 2008 (UTC)

And he doesn't even get paid. Not even any medical benefits. Really, I'm the site's doctor, and all I have at my disposal is a knife, a bunch of used tubing, a rather large hammer, and several barrels of alcohol. Use your imagination. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • formspring) 21:09 Oct 16, 2008

With several barrels of alcohol on hand, I don't have to use my imagination. -RAHB 21:16, 16 October 2008 (UTC)

I seek help, wise one

Hey RAHB, I'm stuck. I need am being forced to want to write articles on Harpoons and Generic Kung-fu Noises, but I'm at a loss for what to say. Can you help me out? - Velosi-T {] Screech * Vomit * Mutilations [} 22:50, 17 October 2008 (UTC)

Uh, what exactly is the idea you've got going with it? Kung-Fu parodies are always hilarious. Why don't you get a page started in your userspace and I'll help you out with what you need from there. -RAHB 22:54, 17 October 2008 (UTC)

Shut-up and go to rehab! --Jim10271949 02:51, 20 October 2008 (UTC)

Believe me, I've tried. They say even the most powerful medicines in the world can't help me now. -RAHB 03:12, 20 October 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: 21 October 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper With Words n' Shit!

October 16^th, 2008 • Twenty-Second Issue • Now with 40% more Batman!

Uncyc Users throw Support Behind Joe Plumber By Gerrycheevers Uncyclopedians today officially declared their undying allegience to Joe Plumber, a newcomer in the upcoming U.S. presidential election. Plumber was thrust into the spotlight last night at the second of many dreadfully boring presidential debates between those two or more candidates currently jockeying for the office. His name was mentioned no less than twenty-four dozen times by the candidates, with each claiming that Joe sided with him on issues such as healthcare, tax increases, and the 'Canada Problem'. One candidate even went so far as to claim that he and Plumber were 'buddies', and that Plumber installed a new bathtub in his palatial presidential candidate mansion last July. Several prominent Uncyclopedians spoke out in vehement support of Plumber, citing his many qualifications to be the leader of the free world. "He's a maverick in the plumbing industry," said staunch pro-Plumberer Colin "All your base" Heaney. "He also has a plan to live the American Dream, through the infinite wisdom of buying his own plumbing company. America needs dreamers, Gerry." Despite being asked to stop commenting, Heaney went on to say that Plumber "cleans people's pipes on a regular basis." Other supporters of Joe Plumber's campaign and platform included inanimate objects such as TheLedBalloon. "The most important thing to know about Joe Plumber is that he is AMERICAN, in bold italics underlined and all caps, just like that." When asked to give another example of how patriotic both he and Plumber are, Mr. Balloon replied, "Just picture him standing in front of a flag with the Star Spangled Banner playing in the background, and you'll know why I support his presidency." Current polls show Plumber trailing in the presidential race, with an estimated zero percent of all voters. His backers are trying to spread the word about Joe's tax relief plan, his rugged good looks, and his skill with a pair of slip-nose pliers. Uncylopedia Issues Food Stamps By Gerrycheevers Due to the recent downturn in the economy, Uncyclopedia officials have issued hundreds of food stamps to users who have no means of feeding themselves. These users might be out of a job or have no arms. In any case, these food stamps are to be given out on alternate Thursdays, except for odd-numbered months, months ending in 'y' or 'r', and April. They will be available at the Uncyclopedia Meat Depot, the boron smelting plant, or by calling the new food stamps hotline. These food stamps will be valid for purchasing a wide variety of nutritious and delicious items from the Uncyclopedia Farmer's Market and Livestock Emporium. Included are items such as pre-packed huffable kittens, gummi grues, and AAAAAAA! cookies.

Check out these pages! Happy days are here again! For the greater good of the Empire Weekly 'Uncylopedia sucks' forum, right on time From our logs: 06:45, 10 October 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked Wp 815 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎(Blanking pages is so Emo. Now go write about it in your Livejournal.) 16:46, 13 October 2008 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked You can shove your wiki up your arse. SIDEWAYS. (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎(I'd come up with something witty if I wasn't too busy eating.) 09:01, 14 October 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Nihilist909 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(Whatever it is you're doing, you shall not do that anymore. At least until tomorrow.) 12:23, 15 October 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 67.15.183.15 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎(What's the Thai for "fuck off and stop vandalising our website"? Whatever it is, kindly do so.) Biopic of the Week With one of the loudest userpages you'll ever see, urine aficinado and making-stuff-up-as-you-go-along expert Orian57 is, among other things, pleased to not be a Power Ranger. Just don't look under his mattress. From the Desk of the Cabal Firstly, there is no cabal. However, if one were to exist, it might remind citizens to leave the Uncyc offices well before dark, as the streets are generally safer in the daylight, and Cajek continues to feed the gremlins after midnight. In addition, whatever organizations intended to ensure public safety might happen to exist might also happen to enforce a shoot-on-sight 7:00 curfew. These guidelines are still useful, even though there certainly is not a cabal.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

--Sycamore (Talk) 09:23, 21 October 2008 (UTC)

Thoughts required

So yeah, while the muse was strong with me last night, I had a vague idea, which today became this. Two quick questions: 1. Is it shit? 2. If it's not shit, as an UnTunes expert, any ideas who might be up for recording it? (In the style of Copacabana by the legend that is Barry Manilow, in case you somehow missed it). Alternatively, 2. If it is shit, what is your preferred candy bar? --UU - natter 13:22, Oct 21

It's a satire on people stupid enough to vote against him because of his name alone, right? I find that bit clever. The lyrics themselves could probably be spiced up a bit. As is, I can see their purpose, but they don't do well enough in making the concept flow. I wouldn't call myself an UnTunes expert, but I think it would be pretty fun to do it Copacabana style. I might give it a shot during the week, if I get the time. I suppose with a tune, there's a lot of funny that could be added in the actual execution, which is why it sounds appealing to me to make it. So yeah, I'd say give the lyrics a revise, maybe get some sort of instrumental playing in the background when you write so you can further visualize the flow of the song. Other than that, my favorite candy bar is the Nestle Crunch bar. -RAHB 16:22, 21 October 2008 (UTC)

Cool. I did have a couple of listens to the song to try and get the flow, but was at work, so was a tad tricky. May well have a stab at improving the flow shortly. And it's just a general dig at the kind of reasons that are filtering through the news over here about why people are gonna vote against him. Although that said, I think a little white-haired old granny on the news the other day came out with most of them herself. Gotta love her. Anyway, I just liked the idea of a little bigotry set to a jaunty Manilow piano number - I think you're right, the best fun would probably come from the execution. If you wanna give it a shot, go for it, if not, hey, it was fun to mess around with. Gonna shift it to the UnTunes space now. And have you ever encountered such a thing as a Twix bar? --UU - natter 18:31, Oct 21

Indeed, the tone of the lyrics and the tone of the music style clash in a potentially very hilarious way. Good thinking on that front. And I do love a good Twix bar. Seems to have slipped my mind actually. -RAHB 00:03, 22 October 2008 (UTC)

God, I hate you.

First, you take my article on tits and you move it into my userpsace. And I'm all like, fine, RAHB. Fine. Move my article into my userspace. All that does is give it a funky new namespace. And funky namespaces make me do funky dances. We got a funky new President. With all the basketball and shit.

But then you take my article on peas and you slap an OM NOM NOM NOM NOM template on it. Why, RAHB? What did I ever do to you that makes you so inclined to bend me over at the waist and assfuck me repeatedly with your seventeen inch unlubricated thumb?

You make me cry, RAHB. Last week, I went to an enchanted forest, and all the tiny woodland creatures were crying, and I asked them why, and they ran away. But if they had been able to speak, they would have said "RAAAAAHHHHHBBB." Because you know all those glittery magical squirrels, RAHB? They cry for you. Well, not for you, so much as because of the fact that you're ass-raping them with your seventeen inch unlubricated thumb.

RAHB, I only want the best for you. I'm hoping that one day your current girlfriend or wife moves to Bolivia and they send you a Bolivian supermodel in return. Or boyfriend, if you swing that way. The point is, I hope you're inundated with years of undeserved mind-blowing sex. Sex all the time, RAHB. I'm hoping that soon you'll barely be able to left-click without having sex with a Bolivian supermodel.

So why don't you want the same things for me? Why have you got to make it your life's mission to identify whatever parade I might be in, and climb to the top of a tall building, and shit on it?

Is it because I once impersonated a gorgeous redhead and asked Mordillo to ban you for your persistent vandalism to my articles? Because, if I could point out a mitigating circumstance, Mordillo didn't buy it. Also, Mordillo rejected that gorgeous redhead on account of her name, so you should probably know that she's still available. And she's just waiting for you, all spread-eagle, right now, in the magical land of DOESN'T FUCKING ADD TEMPLATES TO INEBRIATED'S ARTICLES, if you want to go there and claim her.

You'll like it there, RAHB. I have full faith and credit in you, not unlike a clause.

In conclusions: brb

Being that that message was absolutely hilarious, and that I have absolutely no way to continue that trend in this talk page section without looking like the less funny of the two, I'll just play it straight. Unless of course we're referring to my sexuality. I don't play straight with that. Because...you know, that's how I really am. So one hot Bolivian supermodel, yes.

Yeah, I have a confession to make. And that is, I don't look at the writers of articles before I tag them. I did however look at yours and say "hey now, from what I can see skimming over this, it might be an OK article, I don't really know, because I don't pay attention to things like that. It just needs some expansion." But hey man, I've seen your funny shine before, again and again on here, in your mysterious, slightly short ways, and how you use every square inch of text appropriately for those undertakings. If the article is complete, go ahead and take the tag off. And being that I continue not to read who the author of these articles are, feel free to do the same with any article of yours I tag in the future. And if somebody else says "WTF NOOB! U TAEK OFF TAG?!", let them know I said "Inebriated is a shining beacon of comedic prowess, and has had the right bestowed upon him to take tags off his short, stubby, hilarious articles." If you say it word for word, you get a free chocolate dipped ice cream when you buy one of equal or greater value. -RAHB 18:18, 23 October 2008 (UTC)

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Special:Contributions/66.227.252.104

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Special:Contributions/66.227.252.104

Thank you, anonymous spam reporter! Your efforts make the world a better place! -RAHB 19:05, 23 October 2008 (UTC)

Feature Curiosity

So when it comes to featuring stuff, how do you choose between two tied articles for feature? I kind of thought it was the one that was older, but am I wrong? --Mr. Monkey Pant-hoot here. 20:40, 23 October 2008 (UTC)

I think I usually choose the one with higher health, myself. The old way was to choose the oldest nomination, but I think we stopped that with the whole VFH Health thing. Or maybe not. But that's what I do. I think. Whichever one comes up first when I click the score sorting button on the VFH template really. -RAHB 20:46, 23 October 2008 (UTC)

Your post

Nice one, I always knew there was a reason I liked you your penis. ~ 21:52, 24 October 2008 (UTC)

I think the words you used last time were "meaty" and "very well-developed", but the post is a good one too. -RAHB 22:27, 24 October 2008 (UTC)

lolwhut

See http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/index.php?title=Special:Undelete&target=Uncyclopedia%3ABlock_log

You see how srs biz the only editor is? Naught very srs, amirite?

Also it was lolempty. — Sir Manticore 13:57, 26 October 2008 (UTC)

o ic. thx -RAHB 18:24, 26 October 2008 (UTC)

Sainsbury's

Thanks for not deleting it, something they do lots round here. Nothing like good ol' Illogicopedia!-- OMFG Rabies turtle! | Speak...  17:39, 27 October 2008 (UTC)

Thanks for the vote

From--Sycamore (Talk) 17:25, 1 November 2008 (UTC)

Word, Syc. And thank you for being an awesome Uncyc contributor. The site runs that much smoother when we've got guys like you in the shadows, doing that voodoo that you do. -RAHB 21:31, 1 November 2008 (UTC)

Can I Block this Jackass IP -------->86.29.240.79

He was Vandiliziling other pages and removing content from the wiki. I gave him a damn warning, but this dickhead won't stop. NOW HE'S REALLY STARTING TO PISS ME OFF!! But I really don't know how to ban this asshole....can you tell me how? If not, than does an administrator have to????? I don't Know! SOME ONE TELL ME!!!!--BlackSugaBabyGurl 22:52, 1 November 2008 (UTC)

Star Wars: TFU

So can I move it back out if I take the construction tag off? I'm done with it. I also wanted to know how you did that. Like, how do you move a page into your userspace? --GDawg816 18:13, 3 November 2008 (UTC)

Oh, no problem. Yeah, if it's finished, just go ahead and move it out. I just always move them to userspace because they show up on a maintenance list, and I don't want works in progress to be deleted. There's a button at the top of every page, called "move." Clicking that takes you to a page where you retitle the page you are moving. So, to move things to userspace, you add the "username/" prefix. For you to move it back to main, all you have to do is remove said prefix, and it will be back where it was before. Hope that helps, and happy uncyc-ing! -RAHB 05:14, 4 November 2008 (UTC)

So do I put my username (GDawg816) or just /username? --GDawg816 18:52, 4 November 2008 (UTC)

To move something to userspace, it's GDawg816/articlename. To move it to mainspace, it's just the article name. -RAHB 08:52, 5 November 2008 (UTC)

Aight, sick man thanks. I'm working on a page called cow abuse. See ya around--GDawg816 18:20, 5 November 2008 (UTC)

It's been a pleasure. -RAHB 20:39, 5 November 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: 3-ish November 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper With Words n' Shit!

November 3^rd-ish, 2008 • Twenty-Third Issue • Better than things that aren't as good!

Address Change: Return To Sender? For those of you with your heads buried in the sand, or who choose to concentrate on writing articles, or who don't ever look at address bars, or who don't care: Uncyclopedia's domain name has been changed by evil communist oppressors Wikia. If you are one of those people, here's a brief summary of the incident: Sannse tells us Wikia have decided the domain is changing. We don't get any say in the matter, but do get to suggest ideas for the new name. Lucky us. Fuck.Wikia.Com is a popular suggestion with all except Wikia. Lots of people get angry, Zombiebaron sticks his undead head in briefly, Codeine adds a Bill Hicks clip railing against the evils of advertising, lots of people sign a petition threatening something vague if the change goes ahead. The change goes ahead. There follows an uncoordinated response, during which some users go on strike and do nothing, some users open the wiki up to vandalism, and some users get pissed off about it. The UnSignpost goes on strike for a week in solidarity, and doesn't, for example, miss another week due to the laziness of editors. Oh no. The change is of such profound magnitude, it even brought Mooses out of self-imposed exile. Briefly. Sort of. The community decides an uncoordinated response isn't working, and tries to get its shit together. There are even attempts to elect a Cabal to deal with the issues. The self-defeating nature of attempting to establish an Uncyc Cabal is not lost on some. Skullthumper solves the problem. Sort of. If you aren't one of those people, here's an even briefer summary: Shit happened. People got pissed. The world has so far failed to end. More on this ongoing situation as we get it. Probably. Glorious return to form for MrN! The UnSignpost is pleased to be able to report that, after a two-month self-imposed embargo, popular poopsmith MrN9000 has made a glorious return to using underwear references in his daily conversation! The dam finally burst at 23.06 on Oct 22nd, and all those who know him could feel and share the relief, the release of that pent-up tension and the sheer untrammelled joy of their favourite user with a pair of tits in his sig. Fellow poopsmith and genial man-about-town UU said of the momentous occasion: "you what? MrN? Oh yeah, him. Good bloke. Knows his underwear". Then he scratched his nose reflectively and wandered off. MrN himself was unavailable for comment at the time of going to press/we couldn't be bothered to interview him (delete as you think applicable), but the UnSignpost fondly imagines he would have smiled enigmatically, raised an eyebrow quizzically, nodded appreciatively, and said "PANTS!" predictably. The pants themselves were also unavailable for comment.

Check out these pages! ALL CAPS v Ban Magnet. Modus gets vaguely irked. Did we miss doing a Hallowe'en issue? From our logs: 09:26, 20 October 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked 121.217.149.137 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You're interrupting my essay writing. Unless you plan on writing my essay for me, fuck off.) 04:20, 22 October 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 210.15.244.104 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (You, sir, have gone above and beyond the call of failure. Now that may sound like a compliment, but read it again, paying special attention to that last word. Yeah.) 18:03, 22 October 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 208.70.120.2 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Your friends do not interest us. Your sister does.) 04:57, 23 October 2008 Tom mayfair (Talk | contribs) blocked TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Intimidating behaviour/harassment: & Not The Good Sexual Kind of Harassment Either) Biopic of the Week Sexy, Pompey-supporting bureaucrat Codeine has probably banned you. If he hasn't, he probably will. Soon. Viewed as one of the most diligent and trusted admins on the site, Codeine has probably been here longer than you as well. And he'll probably be here long after you leave too. Deal with it. VFD kept article of the week French accent. Zo, you zink ze article iz zaveabeule? Zut alors! Well geurd leurck weez reewriteeng eet zen! Meurdeus, Preetiestpreeteey and 'yperbeule 'ave made a stert. Cajek ban of the week 00:43, 26 October 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 5 minutes ‎ (Posting in the forums. You know better than to get involved in the community. Now get back in your cage.)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Shoved through the letterbox for the one and only time by UU - natter 11:10, Nov 6

SPERM GEYSERS

yeah... um I wrote an article and it's actully good this time, I think. So since you like adopted me and shtuff you should read it and then chastize complement me. So yeah thanks --- Ironfist Talk to me 18:49, 7 November 2008 (UTC)

Oh absolutely. I'll give it a look, what's it called? -RAHB 06:54, 7 November 2008 (UTC)

That's strange I thought I linked it... oh whatever. Aha ha--- Ironfist Talk to me 18:49, 7 November 2008 (UTC)

Ooo. I like where this is going. Needs some expansion, of course, but I definitely see potential in it. -RAHB 22:06, 7 November 2008 (UTC)

IRC

I'm not sure if IRC is broken, maybe, but it keeps telling me that I'm apparently banned from the #uncyclopedia channel. I don't remember getting banned in the first place, so yeah. I'm confused. --Mr. Monkey Pant-hoot here. 21:59, 12 November 2008 (UTC)

I'm equally confused. Nobody in IRC will tell me what's up. But apparently something fucked up in the ban log, I think. Working on fixing it hopefully. -RAHB 22:01, 12 November 2008 (UTC)

Cleveland Steamers

Hey! I wrote the article for this, and you recently put it in the ICU (I'm guessing because it was rather short at the time). I lengthened it to a point where I think its okay, and the parts that I think are just kind of "eh" I plan on working on the next few days (while adding stuff).

I was wondering if you could look at it and maybe take it off? Or if theres something wrong with the quality, let me know whats wrong? Anyways... I thought I'd get to you on that, thanks :-) - Prof. Ahh(to the)Diddums^{[FUCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!]} 04:25, 13 November 2008 (UTC)

Oh yeah, looks a little more fleshed out to me. But if you are still working on it, I recommend putting a construction tag on it, to let people know it's still in progress. Otherwise, it's still a little short, I would normally put an expand tag on it. I guess I'll leave that bit up to you, but I'll remove the ICU for now. Thanks for getting to me on it. -RAHB 04:44, 13 November 2008 (UTC)

EUREKA!!

So, once again, I wandered away from the Uncyclopedians for a while, but never fear I will be back, just as I always will. I waited a month and twiddled my thumbs over the computer until, as they say on 4chan, "I CHARGED MY LAZERS! BWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" and finally, God has blessed me with a gift. Not just A gift, really, but THE gift. Yes, the gift of the intro to INJECTING RATS INTO YOUR BLOODSTREAM!!!! You can check out my progress over the next couple of days right in User:Liz_muffin/The_Workshop -- I think. It should only be a few days until something good happens :D Wish me luck! --Liz muffin 05:23, 13 November 2008 (UTC)

Heh, I kind of figured this was coming, I saw you pop up on my watchlist. Well, it's good to see you're writing it, and you bet I'll be watching in the coming days. If you need any writing advice, you know where to come =D -RAHB 05:31, 13 November 2008 (UTC)

Okay, I'm officially out of juice, can you help? What should be the next step?--Liz muffin 14:37, 18 November 2008 (UTC)

I'll take a look when I get home today before my nap. I'm sure we'll find a way to make creative gold out of it. -RAHB 15:30, 18 November 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: 13th November 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper With Words n' Shit!

November 13^th, 2008 • Issue 24 • So close to journalism you'll be hard pushed to know the difference!

Uncyclopedian does something vaguely noteworthy in "real life" In an unprecedented development, Uncyclopedian 15Mickey20 has made a foray into media activity outside of the internets. Mickey, Uncyc's tennis correspondent, has been seen on popular-with-students-and-pensioners UK gameshow Countdown, operating under the pseudonym "Martin". Mickey has so far failed to live up to Uncyclopedia's proudest traditions, by actually being quite good at the game. Indeed, at the time of writing, he'd won several games, including what he modestly described as "an awesome numbers game, beating Carol". He also shamelessly mentioned his connection to the site in a recent episode, leading to quite literally no extra edits to the Countdown article - still, thanks for the plug, Mick! Having spent time in the company of such notable international icons as Des O'Connor (no, we don't have a page on him, so there's no link), Paul Zenon (nope, nothing on him either) and Suzy Dent (spotting a pattern here, non-UK readers?) Mickey is now Uncyclopedia's most prominent celebrity, and it's surely only a matter of time before he appears on Strictly Come Dancing or Celebrity Big Brother, and has a lurid kiss-and-tell exposé in Heat Magazine. Various "...of the month" award candidates - November's in-depth analysis Writer of the Month: There's a bumper crop of WotM candidates nominated this month for your voting delectation. The UnSignpost's own Gerrycheevers is the early favourite, having established a significant lead over this week's biopic star Mrmonkey72, several-time nominee SysRq, inactive-for-ages-but-funny Nydas, dark horse Knucmo2 and the multi-featured and multi-talented An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays. But! There is still time, your votes can still make a difference! (Unless you've already voted, natch). Uncyclopedian of the Month: Controversial nominees abound here, as serial ban collector Cajek goes head-to-head with Wikia corporate mouthpiece Sannse. The hyperactive one with the light blue sig is in the lead at present. But! As with certain other popular recent votes, there is a third candidate inexplicably attracting little attention - Dexter111344, a site maintenance and VFD stalwart. Who will win? Only you can decide (and all the other people who vote, obviously). Noob of the Month: No-one. Yet. Find a noob doing something vaguely decent and nominate them please! Otherwise the UnSignpost may just have to bring back the ultimate dead horse for yet more flogging and nom Rcmurphy again. Useless Gobshite of the Month: Kip the Dip is out on his own for this one so far. Having proved an exemplary gobshite for months on end, despite being cruelly denied the recognition of this award, the UnSignpost feels that his time is now, and is abandoning all pretence at unbiased journalism: VOTE KIP FOR UGotM!

Check out these pages! Mad for Uncyclomania! Logical Merge? Hyperdeletionism From our logs: 14:58, 11 November 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 85.118.10.166 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (idiots never learn. That's why they're idiots.) 08:09, 6 November 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 151.203.113.117 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Didn't your mother tell you not to use such bad language? Inbetween all those dicks she was sucking, I mean. ) 05:04, 6 November 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 75.46.44.68 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Yeah, I agree, this site is the worst. Tell you what, now you don't have to edit here ever again! Aren't I the best admin ever?) Biopic of the Week Mrmonkey72 is another stellar addition to the Uncyc ranks this year. This highly evolved simian's natural habitat seems to be UnNews, where he's settled with impressive speed, although he's not above writing the odd high quality article as well. And with a Foolitzer Prize and a WotM nom already under his belt, who knows how far he'll go? VFD kept article of the week Odd. Surely there's some potential here folks - one talented writer, or failing that anyone with enough time on their hands, might want to add copious sprinkles of funniness dust to this strange confection. Glorious Return of the Week Hey everyone, SysRq's back!

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

MrN9001 12:52, 13 November 2008 (UTC)

Stella Artois

I have reviewed the begginers guide and still don't understand why my article has been deleted. Stella Artois is europe's most popular beer, I think it deserves an article plus it was fucking hilarious (not if you're american though... you probably wouldn't get it). Is there any way of recovering what was deleted? --Baina 18:30, 13 November 2008 (UTC)

Well, from what I remember, the main reason I deleted it was it sounded like any generic article we get about anything around here. The main point of your article was that "Stella Artois sucks", for the most part, and as far as anyone is concerned, it sounds more like a grudge or just some guy bitching about how a beer sucks. Same thing happens with schools and cities very often, so I usually just get rid of the articles. But if you'd like to work on it further, I can restore it for you with a construction tag and let you have another shot at it. Let me know. -RAHB 21:20, 13 November 2008 (UTC)

Ok, I agree with what you say about how the article was written, but It still needs an article. If you can restore it with the construction tag, I'll re-write it. Let me know on my talk page when it is back up. Thanks.--Baina 19:06, 15 November 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: 20th November2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper With Words n' Shit!

November 20^th, 2008 • #100/4 • Sucking Journalism's Fat Wang. Badly.

UnSignpost Stumbles past 6 month milestone Uncyclopedia's premier periodical, the UnSignpost, has somehow managed not to fade away and die for over 6 months, which should probably merit some kind of special edition, but meh. In true UnSignpost fashion, the editors noticed this about 2 weeks late - the Signpost having been so gloriously conceived (and never was a word more aptly suited to this juvenile-as-all-get-out publication) by Dr. Skullthumper and Cajek back in early May. The first issue rolled off the presses on May 8th, bringing you such earth-shattering news as "Rcmurphy nommed for Noob of the Month again" and "Uncyclopedia F**king Doomed", as well as establishing Signpost tradition with "Spacefiller of the week" (something about Grand Theft Auto). The editor's office here at USP should probably have had a revolving door installed, having been occupied at various times since Cajek and Skull abandoned it by THEDUDEMAN, Gerrycheevers, Heerenveen and some other numpty - although this is small change compared to the number of delivery bots and boys that have thrust the latest issue, still warm, through your letter flaps. Over the months, many other contributors have helped to keep the UnSignpost in its deserved position of "only weekly-ish newspaper on the wiki" - possibly by being so lame that no-one wanted to bother doing another one. And, having brought you such shattering exclusives as "Wookiepedia Too Cool For Cajek", "Porn Wars End in Sticky Truce" and "RC takes home NotM", the UnSignpost shows no sign of speeding up. Maybe one day, the unstoppable forces of apathy will finally overcome those who still labour under the impression that people actually care about seeing block log entries and biopics arrive on their talk page weekly, and the UnSignpost will grind to a halt. But until then, it will continue to bring you all the old news you've already seen somewhere else, whether you like it or not! UnSportsPost By ace sportshound Enzo Aquarius. In response to quite literally some demand, your ever-topical, finger-on-the-pulse UnSignpost brings you all the latest sports news that's unfit to print! NFL - Detroit Lions lost again bringing their record-breaking award-winning losing streak to 9, with their last notable points scored in the 2004 season. Lions followers are confident their team can break through once the team's brains are reverted back to Windows XP Basketball Edition. Big thumbs up and grins boys! NHL - Unlike their Lion brethren, the Detroit Red Wings are in the lead, as always. Then again, their conference is full of NHL expansion filler, so what can you expect? But hey, San Jose is up as well, so uh...yeah...good for them. Good for them. NBA - LA Lakers are up with no losses in their belt, but anybody east of LA doesn't care anyways. Uhhh....132 points scored by New York...good job guys. Football/Soccer - See, there are so many freaking teams and conferences that you just can't keep track of all of them. Then again, Japan beat Syria 3-1. Talk about a non-stop action high-scoring game! MLB - Training time, the high-gravity chamber has been set, Goku will be pitching. It's also time to bring in the young blood who will only play 1 game in the 2009 season.

Check out these pages! Who judges the judges who judge the, er, turkeys?. Through the fire and the flamewars?. {{tl|merge}}?. From our logs: 23:37, 17 November 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 203.122.136.234 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Blanking is bad. Even in New Zealand, or as we like to call it "Australia Lite") 23:32, 17 November 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 90.208.113.67 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Browser hijack links piss me off. When I'm pissed off, I ban dickheads. You are a dickhead.) 09:37, 17 November 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 70.19.184.109 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Those who can't do, critique. Poorly.) 04:13, 16 November 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 138.130.147.91 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ ( * 04:11, 16 November 2008 (hist) (diff) Santa Claus‎ (←Replaced page with 'FUCK OFF!') -- I know one kid who's getting coal this year...) Biopic of the Week What is it you look for in a 'crat? Is it diligent banstick wielding? Is it a list of featured articles as long as Spang's talk page? Is it having his own award, that he deigns to bestow on those he deems worthy? If it's any or all of these, Mhaille's yer man. If it's not, I dunno, try Olipro, or something. Cajek ban of the week 08:03, 16 November 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a big dick ‎ (<Sawblade5> RAHB take care of http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/index.php?title=Special:BlockIP&ip=Cajek) "Writer of the Month" of the Week. Last heard from in any capacity on this site in January 2007, Imrealized was your WotM for September 2006, with an unheard-of-these-days 19 votes (and Severian liked him so much he voted for him twice). And with a triumvirate of articles like Paradise Lost, Smells Like Teen Spirit and Rorschach Inkblot Acid Test, (not to mention WWJJD?) it's easy to see why. Cabal news of the week There is no Cabal news of the week.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

MrN9001 20:47, 20 November 2008 (UTC)

Turkey Talk

So, RAHB, in my guise as fearless, penetrative reporter for that mighty organ The UnSignpost, I'm thinking of including an article about the Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball '08. As one of the perpetrators of said event, can I ask you:

1. Do you have any comments that I can take out of context for comedic effect for our devoted readership?
2. Or, if you prefer, do you want to write said article, to avoid me taking massive editorial liberties with the entire thing any chance of error creeping in to our completely unbiased journalism?
3. If I think of a third question, would you answer it?

Pippings! --UU - natter 12:57, Nov 24

Yes, yes, and yes. When is the new signpost to be delivered? -RAHB 16:36, 24 November 2008 (UTC)

I aim for some point during thursday. --UU - natter 16:44, Nov 24

I'll see what I can do about getting my abomination of journalistic shit breaking coverage of the competition to you by then. I'll probably get on it sometime tonight, if not tomorrow. -RAHB 17:38, 24 November 2008 (UTC)

Um. I don't do it like:

"The 3-person judging panel shall individually score each entry using a specified 1-to-10 scoring template not unlike the one used for Pee Review. The elements in question shall include..."

I don't know if it helps, but I've never done it like that. Also, I'm an insufferable old coot. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 00:56, 26 November 2008 (UTC)

Well, are you opposed ethically to it or something, or are you just looking to familiarize yourself with it? You've judged a lot of things before, so I don't really have a problem with you doing it whatever way you feel most comfortable with. But if you're curious, the template that's suggested to be used can be found here. Ya damn old geezer. -RAHB 01:00, 26 November 2008 (UTC)

The Pee Review template took all the fun out of peeing for me. This does the same for judging, as I'm a wrath-filled and zealous judge. Rawr! Or, to put it another way: I read all the pages, then read them again, and again, and again. Eventually, they sort themselves into order. It's really quite magical, like unicorns ordering themselves by adorability. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 01:30, 26 November 2008 (UTC)

That's fascinating. -RAHB 01:36, 26 November 2008 (UTC)

I know. My memoires are riddled with mind expanding shit like that. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 01:44, 26 November 2008 (UTC)

So... It being thursday, any sign of said article, or do I just make something up again? --UU - natter 08:59, Nov 27

I've been so damn busy. Sorry I didn't get back to you on that, but if you could improv up a little piece, that'd be much appreciated. If you need any quotes to mangle into pseudo-biased semi-truths, I'll gladly give some up for your editing machines. -RAHB 09:08, 27 November 2008 (UTC)

Fair enough. While I do so, can you drop the banstick on Assss (Talk • Contribs (del) • Editcount • Block (rem-lst-all) • Logs • Groups • Checkuser) please? Ta. --UU - natter 09:11, Nov 27

Smote. -RAHB 09:24, 27 November 2008 (UTC)

Whoo!

- Admiral Enzo Aquarius-Dial the Gate 01:12, 26 November 2008 (UTC)

=DD -RAHB 01:15, 26 November 2008 (UTC)

Thanks for the welcome but...

Is my sig that bothersome?--Metalhead94 ^{T C}

It's not as much that your sig in particular bothers me in particular. It's that signatures more than fifteen pixels high mess with page formatting, and do bother some users. The uncyc policy is that signatures shouldn't be higher than fifteen pixels, for the sake of civility amongst users in the long run. It's nothing personal, just a policy. -RAHB 01:24, 26 November 2008 (UTC)

Yeah, I get it.--Metalhead94 ^{T C}

Is this better?--Metalhead94 ^{T C}

Still looks a little big. I'd really just stay away from changing font sizes in your sig, I think the default is 15 (though I could be wrong about that). Also, if you'd like an easier way to sign pages, you can create User:Metalhead94/sig and paste your sig code in it, then go to your preferences and paste "{{User:Metalhead94/sig}}" into the signature box, without the quotes, then check the raw signature box. Then all you have to do to sign pages is put -~~~~ and it'll paste your code and a timestamp every time. -RAHB 01:34, 26 November 2008 (UTC)

Camred333

Dude why did you delete my article its protected by the ignorable policy wtf cmon! —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Camred333 (talk • contribs)

1. New stuff on bottom, as it says up there at the top. 2. The title of the article, or a link to where it was would probably help - admins delete a lot of stuff, it's not personal, so they don't remember every deletion off the top of their heads. 3. Which "ignorable" policy would that be? 4. Who changed the channel? I was watching that! --UU - natter 13:42, Nov 26

I deleted your article because it was a shitty stub about some teacher or something, from what I can tell. We don't allow vanity articles here, and hence I mercilessly huffed it. AND I'D DO IT AGAIN TOO! And God dammit, UU! We SHARE the remote! I've told you a million times, that TV does not belong to you! -RAHB 23:11, 26 November 2008 (UTC)

Why Did You Huff My Article?

Hello, sorry to bother you, but I'd like to know why you huffed my article. The only reason I can currently think of is the repetition which was in the beginning. I've already read the n00b article, so I don't need to be linked to it. Reply when you get a chance to do so. -- User:Hroþgard 7:50 AM, 2 November 2008 (GMT-8)

It seems I deleted your article because it looked like a lot of gibberish to me. But, since you were so civil about the situation, unlike many of the complaints I get around here, I have no problem restoring it for you if you'd like. Of course, it is a little sloppy, formatting wise, so I'd suggest putting a construction tag on it. Let me know what you think. -RAHB 23:22, 26 November 2008 (UTC)

I would like for you to bring it back. The Rotokas language is, in fact a real language, however, it's spoken by humans (obviously) and it's spoken on some Pacific island somewhere. Most people don't know of it's existence. I'll add the construction template onto it. Also, what noticable formatting problems were there? I'd repair them if I knew what they were.

Alright, it's back up. The only formatting issue really is that it's pretty much just a list. If you could flesh it out with more actual prose, it could probably be better. Good luck on it. Cheers. -RAHB 06:12, 28 November 2008 (UTC)

Why are you being of delete article?

Halo, my article is great. Your face is not great. In fact, it is very bad. And for deleting mine article, your face is of being very VERY bad. Please say word so I can spit. Your face. I want answer. sirsysrq @ 20:54 Nov 26

Banned -RAHB 23:23, 26 November 2008 (UTC)

FUCK YOU I DEMAND A REAL JOKE BAN RIGHT NOW sirsysrq @ 23:34 Nov 26

No seriously, you suck

Yu get so meny msgs, can only meanz you be shitty adminz. fuck off noob. ktxbi. overlordofyourpenis666

Banned -RAHB 23:23, 26 November 2008 (UTC)

You suk bad vandil!

Yo ar teh worst vandol I's evar seen why you delet my pages I'm write good bobby says its funy why you delet my pages you suck and shud dy! Just hopping on the bandwagon 21:37, 26 November 2008 (UTC)

Banned -RAHB 23:23, 26 November 2008 (UTC)

deletion?

hay wher ddi my page on poop sex go????? is was good poop sex page!!! why u so mean 2 me????? --epoirubn

Banned -RAHB 23:23, 26 November 2008 (UTC)

penis face

thats wut u r, cuz u suk so much dikkKK!~!!!! yea!!!11 stop huffin mah shit!!! stigmatizedvampireguuuurrrllll

Banned -RAHB 23:23, 26 November 2008 (UTC)

On a serious note

Griebel Stomp just kicked my ass. =D sirsysrq @ 23:44 Nov 26

Gasp! U heerz mah musak?! OMG! Aye Roxxorz, dont I?!! -RAHB 23:47, 26 November 2008 (UTC)

Seriously though, many thanks. I appreciate it. -RAHB 23:47, 26 November 2008 (UTC)

But I still rock too. -RAHB 23:47, 26 November 2008 (UTC)

Shut up. No you don't -RAHB 23:47, 26 November 2008 (UTC)

Who asked you, anyway? -RAHB 23:47, 26 November 2008 (UTC)

You didn't have to ask me. We're the same person, dammit! -RAHB 23:47, 26 November 2008 (UTC)

Well that makes this conversation rather pointless then, doesn't it? -RAHB 23:47, 26 November 2008 (UTC)

No shit, dick. -RAHB 23:47, 26 November 2008 (UTC)

Yeah. I was going to go vandalize your page and I found a link to your musicks. I listened, I rocked out, I cocked out. I added you on Last.fm. (go look up my artist page on Last.fm plz haha) Oh shit, I forgot to finish vandalizing your userpage. Be right back. sirsysrq @ 23:52 Nov 26

Sweet, I'll take a look/listen. I've been meaning to actually get something put on Last.fm, but I keep slacking off on that. Anyways, if you're interested, I have more music here. And now that I think of it, I should add that to my external links on my user page. And now I'll listen to your stuff. -RAHB 00:00, 27 November 2008 (UTC)

I shall indeed listen. Looks like my cock and I are gonna do some more rockin. Out. sirsysrq @ 00:14 Nov 27

(FU Edit Conflict!) Every Light In This World is one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard. If you don't get into audio for a career, I will find you and suck the talent you have out of your brain and use it for my own purposes. -RAHB 00:15, 27 November 2008 (UTC)

Wow, really? And yeah, everyone likes that song, including me. I've got a TON of new songs in the works that haven't been mastered but are pretty much finished; those will be going up soon. Thanks for listening. Also, do this, Mr. Admin. EDIT: My audition for getting into the school of music at Baylor University is on January 24th. So yes, I'm pursuing audio as a career. (Composition, specifically.) sirsysrq @ 00:41 Nov 27

(FU another edit conflit) Oh yeah. I mean, I have a particular soft spot for ambient music, something about the way it can integrate so well in with real life functions. Like, I can be sitting here listening to a rock group, and it'll be cool because I like the song or whatever, but it doesn't mesh with my surroundings (which coincidentally are often dark and somber, for whatever reason) as well as ambient stuff. Yours is produced unbelievably well for someone who's been at it for such a short amount of time. And you've got the ability in these songs to make them emotionally touching. That's one of two areas I strive for in my own music, though I've never actually touched upon. As you can probably tell from my stuff, the redeeming quality is mostly in the fact that everything is weird and undefinable, and not that it's particularly sonically comforting. And yours I find to be very sonically beautiful, even though I know there are other artists who make similar stuff. I also get exposed to the genre a lot, living here in the heart of LA, and going to an art school with plenty other aspiring creative people. One of my greatest life ambitions is to be able to combine those two attributes, the innovative and strange song structure I take so much pride in with my own music, and the sonic perfection that I find in so much of your stuff. I think anyone who can accomplish both simultaneously is instantly one of the greatest musical geniuses there is. -RAHB 00:57, 27 November 2008 (UTC)

Also, admin work...grumble grumble... -RAHB 00:57, 27 November 2008 (UTC)

Yeah, I totally see what you're saying there. I think I try to go for both of those aspects as well, at least I have been moreso in my recent music. The exception would be Resolute, an older song I wrote to help me understand 5/4 time better. But I love the effects and stuff you use in your music, and I've been trying to use more of that in my recent work. I'm off to play my tuba for an hour or so, but I'll check out the rest of your music later tonight. musicalcollabmaybe? Ahem. Excuse me. sirsysrq @ 01:07 Nov 27

Yeah, I've noticed a good deal of innovative sound in some of these tracks, right now I'm on Interstate, which I definitely like the introduction to so far. I'm baffled by how professional this stuff sounds, I feel like I purchased this record in the store and played it right from the CD. Production quality is another one of those things I'm working on, which I'd say I'm definitely getting better at lately, though I need to begin testing the waters again with some new tracks. And I do love a good collaboration. A fusing of our two styles could be quite the interesting project. Consider me intrigued. -RAHB 01:14, 27 November 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: 27th November2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper With Words n' Shit!

November 27th • Issue 26 • The newspaper it's tough to swat flies with

Uncyc shall go to the Ball! The seasonal tang in the air, the anticipation on the faces of Uncyclopedians everywhere... it can only mean one thing: The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball is upon us again! The popular annual celebration of all that's good about bad taste is hoping to provoke a slew of skewed satire and give those foolhardy enough to volunteer as judges a colossal headache. And a good laugh, of course. To whet the appetite, let's take a look at some of the cream of last year's competition: A bunch of aristocrats fucking. Awesome vid Pacific War The Bureaucrats (Joke) Why?:Use a wooden condom Yup, standards are that high, or low, depending on your point of view, sense of humour, religion, shoe size and taste in hats. So jump to it! If you can make the judges laugh even as they vomit up their own entrails, you could be in with a chance of winning the glorious title "Aristocrat en Regalia", as well as the undying jealousy of the other entrants you so satisfyingly routed. Or you might lose. Asked for quotes, organiser RAHB quipped "I'll probably get on it sometime tonight, if not tomorrow", while official judging type Modusoperandi added "my memoires are riddled with mind expanding shit". {{username}} claims millionth victim Stalking the articles, forums and userpages of Uncyclopedia like some kind of bad metaphor with legs, the notorious {{username}} template has claimed its millionth victim. The individual in question (who shall not be named because this publication is trying to write an article about {{username}} without actually using {{username}}) was innocently browsing through Uncyclopedia's debating rooms, looking in at the progress of such worthwhile literary endeavours as the incrementation project and the attention span test, when the vengeful template struck! "It was there, in front of me, an accusation that I was teh gheyz", the hapless victim told us exclusively. "Such hard-hitting slander had to be addressed, and addressed immediately, so I clicked the edit button, and launched into a passionate and vitriolic defence of my unquestionable heterosexuality post-haste!" Ironically, it was the length of this diatribe that finally revealed the subterfuge. "It took me some time to compose a suitable riposte, listing at length my many dalliances with members of the opposite sex, my subscription to Playboy and my utter distaste for the movie Brokeback Mountain - in fact it took so long that I was logged out from my account" said the sap. "So when I hit the preview button to behold my comeback in all its savage majesty, what should catch my eye but the <insert name here> message that betrays {{username}} abuse? I felt so embarrassed, the only logical course of action I could take was to sell my story to a newspaper with a global readership - you did say you'd pay me for this, right?" Shortly after this point, the interview was discontinued due to a disagreement between interviewer and interviewee. Asked for a final quote, we were told "fuck {{username}}, and fuck you too!" - a comment that speaks volumes about the suffering this terrible template is capable of inflicting on the unwary. {{username}} was unavailable for comment, and remains at large, ready to strike again.

Check out these pages! Don't be a dick? How do you measure up? "{{Oh dear}}"? Oh dear! From our logs: 12:14, 26 November 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 118.101.59.19 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Excess stupid detected. Initialising idiot smiting mechanism) 18:21, 25 November 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 198.20.32.1 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (You only sort of suck, now. Come back when your sucking ceases.) 00:13, 23 November 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of A power level over 9000 ‎ (Vandalizing Cajek's userpage. You should be ASHAMED. Also, Skull said this bantime actually works. Let's see!) Biopic of the Week Holy Cheese, it's Necropaxx! From humble beginnings (starting out as just another notch on Famine's banstick), cheery, Grim Reaper looky-likey Necropaxx has stalked his way through the site, creating quality features, a bunch of images, and a growing portfolio of helpful reviews. Just don't diss the cheese, OK? He worships the cheese. VFD kept article of the week Yam - c'mon folks, it's tuber humo(u)r. "A yam will totally kick your ass if you call it a sweet potato. I'm not kidding." Doesn't that just make you want to rush in there and give it the magic rewriting touch it needs? Unactioned image request of the week User:Sycamore/Mephistopheles - "I kind of want it to be a bit like Goethe's character Mephisto, but maybe with a "Sympathy for the Devil, Rolling Stones" quality - I'd really like something with the whole transformation from a poodle to the student bit or some of the character qualities here." for Sycamore. Anyone with photoshop feeling helpful? Cajek ban of the week 12:31, 24 November 2008 Sannse (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 17 minutes 21 seconds ‎ (What is this thing about blocking you anyway? And why aren't I in on it?)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

MrN9001 21:07, 27 November 2008 (UTC)

W♥v

Thank you... I've always found it to be polite to thank people for the things they have done for you, especially when it is a vote for a fine literary work. People don't say "thank you" that much anymore. Instead, they say "thanks" or "tyvm". That frustrates me, because I don't know what "tyvm" is even supposed to mean. Thanks for voting.

sirsysrq @ 17:11 Nov 28

Metallic (band)

Heheheheh, told the user who originally created that it'd get huffed. He originally had it tacked onto a redirect page, so I moved it to where it was after consultation with Codeine. Nice to see my prophecies come to be. :-) RabbiTechno 20:39, 30 November 2008 (UTC)

Hah! I love the democratic system. -RAHB 20:51, 30 November 2008 (UTC)

WTF

why did u delete my Krokodile Shears page? Sure it was a work in progress, but it had some potential. A fictional band page could not be as bad as some of the other crap I see in this site.

Ah, we had a huge deal and subsequent mess with a fictional band a while ago. Other than that, the point isn't there. There's no satire, or jokes we as readers can relate to. If you can make a good satirical article out of it, then it can probably stay. Just try not to make it sound like it's about some high school band that you and your friends made. -RAHB 04:02, 1 December 2008 (UTC)

Hang on a second, I remember you. You were posting links to your "Krokodile Shears" page all over other pages, including to YouTube. Vanity is not appreciated. You'd be better off making fun of something real, I think. (Most articles on "fake" things have too much difficulty resonating with anyone.) --Mr. Monkey Pant-hoot here. 22:19, 1 December 2008 (UTC)

No, that youtube stuff was from my account getting hacked. I looked like a jackass apologizing for all of that stuff. I had no idea that Krokodile Shears was a real thing.

Reform

I am now a reformed vandal. I am sorry for my destructive edits, and I will try to help out in the future. 68.32.189.242 05:09, 3 December 2008 (UTC)

Very good to hear. Feel free to register for an account if you feel so inclined. No prejudice here on Mars. -RAHB 06:56, 3 December 2008 (UTC)

Any chance of me being be in VFS?

What are the chances of having me being nominated for VFS and being accepted as admin? 1 in 100,000? 1 in a million? |Si Plebius Dato' (Sir) Joe ang Man on Fire CUN|IC Kill | 07:03, 3 December 2008 (UTC)

A) Trying to calculate your chances with a calculator would return an error/electrical failure (nothing personal). B) From the admin vote so far, it doesn't look like we're going to be nominating anyone new this month anyways.

If you do want to be an admin, you've got to work for it. And work in the background, silently, never talking about it. And do lots of work. Did I mention the work and never mentioning being an admin? Because those are important. So, in short: get me a sandwich. -RAHB 07:13, 3 December 2008 (UTC)