User:RAHB/PLS2009

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Below is the judging for best noob article for March 2009's PLS

edit Judgery

edit User:Zheliel/Unpoetia:_Lemon_Tree

Humour: 2 The reason this is a 2 instead of a 1 or even (gasp!) a 0, is that when I came to the end of the page, I chuckled to myself a little bit because of how terrible it was. There's not a lot to say about it. Toilet humor, and it's hardly even that, because there's barely any effort at making it "humorous". It's more just toilet existence than anything else. And as I'll touch on in the prose section, the placing of the parody lyrics becomes lazier and lazier as the song goes on.
Concept: 1 One of the least original concepts there is. Take a song, replace the words with shit about...well, shit. Yawn.
Prose and formatting: 5 I can read it and see you know how to speak the english language, however shit gets completely whack as the song goes on. It goes beyond creative license and descends into just throwing the same sentence in everywhere whether it makes grammatical sense or not.
Images: 5 Mostly irrelevant, small, and have strange, also irrelevant captions.
Miscellaneous: 3.25 Averaged all scores out. Also, it's a song parody, but it doesn't have accompanying audio, and there's nothing else particularly redeeming about it.
Final Score: 16.25 Sorry to be so hard on this, but really, I can see there was about five minutes worth of effort put into the article, and I can hardly even take it seriously long enough to complete this review.
Reviewer: RAHB 04:44, 5 April 2009 (UTC)


edit User:CheddarBBQ/Thin Mints

Humour: 6 I think you've got a good idea brewing, the only problem is that, while there are some funny parts in here (particularly relating to the narrator's tone of voice and speech, the silly gentleman), it starts to get overly dry. The final section pulls me back in, as it seems a good parody of the "mentor teaching the new initiate in the ways of whatever it is". But through a lot of this (particularly the anatomy bits), I think it starts to be too much like I'm reading a Wikipedia article. Which is fine, because I can see the dryness of the article is the main tone, but I think it could do with a little more subtext and exploitation of the gentlemanly manner in which the narrator speaks. It has potential to be quite a bit better.
Concept: 8 An interesting concept to be sure. The secret society of thin mint researchers discuss their academic endeavors. Indeed.
Prose and formatting: 10 I don't believe I found any glaring grammar mistakes, although the line cuts off rather abruptly on the end of the "what is a thin mint?" section. It seems the reader is interrupting the author, which is fine, and funny, but if that is intentional, you may want to add a hyphen or something on the end so that those reading it can see that. Obviously if it's not intentional, you should finish the sentence.
Images: 7 Could do with one more image I think, but the Gentleman image is perfect for it, and the thin mints are duly relevant.
Miscellaneous: 7.75 Averaged out all scores.
Final Score: 38.75 The score comes out rather high here, though I think the humor is the most important part, and the humor ended up as a 6, so I may change the overall score when it comes down to comparing this article to the rest of the group. Still, with some more funny injected into this it could be quite good, and would probably stand a chance on VFH.
Reviewer: RAHB 05:23, 5 April 2009 (UTC)


edit User:GlobalTourniquet/Alfred Hitchcock

Humour: 10 Really fantastic. Just when I thought it was going one way, it was going another. The subtle references are great, the cameo is brilliant, all just as much as the more evident humor. It kept me entertained and interested. Absolutely great.
Concept: 10 One of the more original parodies I've seen in over two years of being an Uncyclopedian. Tremendous kudos on it.
Prose and formatting: 10 Just one note. There's a bit where it says "I don't think I like that sound of that," which it seems the first "that" should be a "the." Otherwise perfect. And the overall format being a reference to the whole pure form of Hitchcock's work and such, really great.
Images: 10 You explained it well enough in the article. The links to externals are nice, and clever.
Miscellaneous: 10 Averaged the scores out.
Final Score: 50 You got a perfect score. You lucky mother fucker.
Reviewer: RAHB 06:53, 5 April 2009 (UTC)


edit User:Guildensternenstein/Dungeons & Dragons: Real Life Edition: Character Classes

Humour: 9 First of all...holy fucking shit. That article was fucking long. It was, however, very good. The only reason that the score isn't a 10 is because it really does get tiring to read it, and by the end you start to be able to predict what the classes are going to be capable of. A few of the jokes (ie loser class) are a bit cliched, but the overall execution and style makes up for them. Overall I laughed several times (though it is a really fucking long article).
Concept: 9 Well executed, though I'm sure you've been beaten to the concept at least a couple times. And then of course there's The Sims...
Prose and formatting: 10 Everything here's just fine. Spelling mistake here and there, but it is fucking massive.
Images: 10 Everything works just fine, the captions are hilarious, and they fit in with the format of the article perfectly.
Miscellaneous: 10 Averaged out all scores, but added an extra .5 for linking "legend" to Frank Zappa.
Final Score: 48 In conclusion...Frank Zappa.
Reviewer: RAHB 07:38, 5 April 2009 (UTC)


edit User:Mahm00shA/Nile (band)

Humour: 5 The overall concept of the article gets pretty old soon, though I like the idea of Nile being a band from actual ancient Egypt. A lot of it borders on band-cruft at times, and often the humor disappears for simple Wikipedia extract with some words changed around to sound more Egyptianish. Mentions of grues and kitten huffing don't help.
Concept: 7 Good idea, could have been better executed.
Prose and formatting: 7 There are parts where things start to run on a tad, and the vocabulary (other than egyptian references) is pretty normal. Looks nice though and there aren't any grammatical or spelling issues.
Images: 8 Strong bit of the article, the captions are particularly nice, and the end idea with the mosh pit image was quite clever actually.
Miscellaneous: 7 Averaged other scores.
Final Score: 34 This could really use an injection of more funny. As is, it could easily make it to mainspace, but it needs more substance to be something truly funny.
Reviewer: RAHB 05:40, 5 April 2009 (UTC)


edit User:Tagstit/My Girl's Best Friend

Humour: 6 This was alright. The problem is that most of the humor is "sympathy humor," which is a slightly more upstanding version of in-jokes. While I find the situation funny, I think it has a great deal more potential than what's in here. For all anyone knows, this could be anybody's trip to their girlfriend's house, and I think if a good dose of absurdity was added into the mix, it could be brilliant. As is, it's rather so so, and there are quite a few parts where it's simply the low-level observational humor of "saying what happens when _________".
Concept: 7 I think it could be executed much better, but that the "meeting the girlfriend's friend" concept is quite a good one for potential hilarity. It just needs some more work is all.
Prose and formatting: 7 I got a little peeved at seeing "ya" for every "yes" variant word in the article. There are a couple shaky bits grammatically, but it's overall pretty solid and readable, and I do like the italicized thoughts format.
Images: 8 They do a pretty decent job, and the captions on them are pretty funny.
Miscellaneous: 7.25 Averaged all scores out.
Final Score: 35.25 Most of my comments are listed above. With some work I think it could be pretty funny, but it's not quite there yet.
Reviewer: RAHB 06:09, 5 April 2009 (UTC)


edit User:Judepeer/UN Fat Project

Humour: 8 I rather enjoyed this piece. It takes a very original comedic slant on the otherwise overdone "modern people are too fat" idea, and I think really pulls it off well. "The Plan" is quite a good one. Funny, though I also was quite convinced by the article that it would work! Quite brilliant, I say.
Concept: 8 As I said above, very nice concept. Can't say I've ever heard of anything like that before.
Prose and formatting: 8 Fantastic use of some good vocabulary. Articles are so much more interesting to read when people have got a good mastery of the English language. I thought there were some bits where things looked a bit scrambled, the formatting might need a slight tidy, but overall pretty nice.
Images: 5 A bit weaker than the rest of the article. The muppet seems completely out of the blue, and doesn't seem to add anything to the article. Try putting in some sort of plato-esque picture of some other philosopher instead. And perhaps have a picture of a map with a bunch of towns labeled in the "fat" scheme. That could be pretty good.
Miscellaneous: 7.5 Averaged out all scores.
Final Score: 36.5 I think you've got a winner here with a tad more work. There are parts where it seems the sentences run together a bit, particularly earlier in the article. Shouldn't be too much of a problem to clean up, and you may be able to get a feature out of this soon.
Reviewer: RAHB 05:04, 5 April 2009 (UTC)


edit Totals

Pee Review Score + Personal Favoritism Score (scale of 1 to 7) = Final Score

  1. User:GlobalTourniquet/Alfred Hitchcock - 50 + 7 = 57
  2. User:Guildensternenstein/Dungeons & Dragons: Real Life Edition: Character Classes - 48 + 6 = 54
  3. User:Judepeer/UN Fat Project - 36.5 + 6 = 42.5
  4. User:CheddarBBQ/Thin Mints - 38.75 + 3 = 41.75
  5. User:Tagstit/My Girl's Best Friend - 35.25 + 4 = 39.25
  6. User:Mahm00shA/Nile (band) - 34 + 2 = 36
  7. User:Zheliel/Unpoetia:_Lemon_Tree - 16.25 + 1 = 17.25
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