From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jack, this has been the greatest night of my life. The dinner at Le Boucher Heureux was wonderful. The opera was to die for, and with a particularly strong female lead, at that. The long walk on the beach, oh, so romantic. Yes, that funny thing you did with that beached trout, that was nice too... Oh, Jack, I don't think that anything in the world could make this night more perfect.
Oh, Jack! You've gone to so much trouble with the apartment! Scented candles, rose petals, mood music... This is the best anniversary I could have ever hoped for. What did I ever do to deserve a man like you?
So...do you wanna fool around? Yeah, I thought you might, you randy dog. Oh, hold on though, Jack, leave your pants on for a moment... I mean, this night has just been so perfect, and so beautiful. You've really spoiled me. So, if you'd really like to go the extra mile and make this a night we'll absolutely never forget, maybe we could do something a little different this time?
First person female, telling her male boyfriend she wants a BDSM. First she eases him in by asking him to cum on her tits or something that guys enjoy doing, then she springs it on him: Are you into BDSM?
"It's not that I want you to hurt me, It's just that I want you to pummel me repeatedly with this 2X4"
using a belt sander on her
"putting on" Quantum Fantay
continuous references to "My Old Boyfriend" - "Chip, the guy you don't like? - "He never wanted to do anything fun with me."
edit From the old article
BDSM operates on the principle that if you are too emotionally insecure to believe that anyone would fuck you, you might find someone prepared to beat you. Or poop on your head.
bringing them slippers
locked in a cage like a Special Olympics sprinter before the big race.
BDSM in space
Most deities enjoy BDSM
Percy Grainger, a composer in the early 20th century, was a sadomasochist. He is remembered for nothing else.
BDSM includes a variety of practices, from the nearly mundane to the extreme. Some common practices include:
- Discussing safewords on the Internet for ten hours straight
- Yelling Random safewords in public to signify to your crowd of fuck-buddies that you are horny.
- Typing incest fantasies with bad spelling and punctuation
- Typing bestiality fantasies and believing that spelling it 'K9' makes it morally acceptable
- Watching reruns of The Dukes of Hazzard