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I am a person, yes.
- Name: X-Master Zing
- Aliases: Professor Edrick Von NoseBurger, Professor Edrick Von BoseNurger, Fisticuffs Magoo, Saltine
- Species: Unknown
- Sex: Male
- Age: 26
- Blood Type: B+
- Height: 6" 7'
- Weight: 140 lbs
- Eyes: Green
- Hair: Black
- Hit Points: 666
- Mana: 42
I was born in a log cabin that I built with my own hands. At a very early age, I was diagnosed with Über-Depression. The doctors told my parents that if I didn't take my pills every night, I would go around killing people with a shotgun. That was because Über-Depression causes the patient's body to secrete shotguns (or, in the Japanese breed, shoguns). Things have gone mostly smoothly, and if they didn't, everything got hushed up by the government. As I was reaching adulthood, I met H. P. Lovecraft, John Kerry, and Jay Leno. These guys had really long faces. Let's just say, if they were to walk into a bar, they'd all say "Ow! I walked into a bar!" Then I reached adulthood, and my parent then died when I was three. Soon, out of ridiculous amounts of trial-and-error, I learned every single possible way to kill someone, along with how to do absolutely anything. I then became interested in fighting evil, getting girls, and being awesome. Yep. That's me.
- Favorite Band: Me, Aerosmith, Nightwish, John Williams, Hip Tanaka, anyone else who sounds cool
- Favorite Author: Neil Gaiman, H.P. Lovecraft, Terry Pratchett, NOT Roald Dahl
- Favorite Games: Metroid Series, Zelda Series, Elder Scrolls Series (mostly Morrowind), Myst Ceres
- Favorite Quote: "Who are you, if any?" (The Fashionable Fireman and the Soft-Boiled Collar Button by George Carlson)
- Hobbies: Music, Art, Graphic Novels, Video Games, Comedy, Martial/Marshall/Marital Arts
- Religious Beliefs: Atheist
- Political Leaning: Semi-Liberal