User:Prettiestpretty/Spawn of Satan

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The Spawn of Satan is never what you expect her to be...

Spawn of Satan, born Ardith Millicent Stanhope, is a second grade student and budding artist specializing in watercolors. She garnered the name Spawn of Satan in 2007 after asking her teacher a question after being instructed to remain “quiet until all the instructions for the test are read aloud. When Ardith reported that to her parents, former punk rockers Shelia "Satan" MacKenzie and Peter “Pukemaster” Poling what the tacher had called her, the name stuck. “She's a natural alright, she is,” said her father.

edit Raindrops on roses and bright yellow flowers...

...are just a few of the favorite things that Spawn of Satan Loves.

However her favorite thing in the whole world are the gentle kisses that her beagle Queenie gives her when she returns home from school after a hard day of spelling, reading and math.

“In school, I like art class the most,” declares the precocious eight year old.

edit Can Spawn of Satan come out and play?

Spawn has many friends in her middle class neighborhood including Tessa Smith and Rachel Hollander. Spawn likes them both but finds Rachel to be a bit high maintenance. “She says she has a boyfriend but he just likes to play games with her,” according to Spawn. As for Tessa, Spawn enjoys here time the most. “Tessa's parents are from England and they have a Queen and they talk funny.”

Spawn has found that many of her little friends are confused about her name. One little boy down the street from the Poling house payed the ultimate price for his teasing, and because of these several parents on the street still look with suspicion upon the sweet child.

Jeffery Orloff, a third grader with self esteem issues, can no longer play with Spawn because of what Spawn did to him.

“I was making fun of her name because its funny sounding and she banished me from her house. If she didn't want to play with me she just could have asked, but she banished me and no one will even talk to me anymore.”

edit That child is evil...

Claims Spawn's father referring to the Orloff boy. “He's always digging in his rear. I think he's got worms and I told the other parents to keep their kids clear of him. He's a nasty little bugger. That one will grow up to be a lawyer he will.”

edit Hopes for the third grade

Spawn is looking forward to school this year, but is afraid that she will get Mrs. Robinson for her teacher. Mrs. Robinson's class specializes in music and Spawn feels that the songs that she teachers are too boring.

“There was one song about 'Rocka My Soul in the Bosom of Abraham' and teacher made us sing the word 'Bosom',” she giggled. But added “But she smells funny. And Tessa said that she drinks in the cloak room.”

As for her life's ambition, the rosy cheeked child said that she hopes to get into real music - heavy metal to be specific, when she starts to grow breasts and that life would be perfect if she could mate up with a head banger whose name she could tattoo on her lower back. “When I grow up I want a tramp stamp on backside just like mommy's.”

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