User:Popebenedictxvi/Weather Channel Wizard

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For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about Weather Channel Wizard.

Jim Cantore, aka the Weather Channel Wizard, uses his magic wand to make sure "that high pressure area from the northwest" really does touchdown in Seattle! Hahahaha!

“He can shove that wand where the sun don't shine, don't mean he can predict shit.”

The Weather Channel Wizard is a Flash villain who is, in reality, Jim Cantore. He works at the Weather Channel, using his weather-manipulating powers to make sure he is always right about the weather.

edit Jim's early life

When Jim Cantore was but a young man, he killed Mark Mancuso in a fit of rage. Jim made the murder scene look like an accident, and from then on the Weather Channel was run by crazed madmen. Jim Cantore stole the soul of the now-deceased Marc Mancuso, and used it to fuel his invention, the weather rod. He took the guise of the Weather Channel Wizard.

After Boring Allen's death during the Abortion of Infinite Births, The Weather Channel Wizard reformed and hosted the show "It Could Happen Tomorrow" until, during Baja Men Unleashed, he teamed up with Rogue Squadron which included Capt. Dole, Heat Wave, Captain Pootytang I, and Miramaxter as part of a ploy for greater control over cable television networks.

Ultimately, it ended with their deaths and the release of the demon Neron upon VH1, which turned that network from a fairly good music channel to a crappy white trash celebreality channel. They were later resurrected as soulless demons by Neron for use against Boring's successor Wallabi Pest, who manipulated Neron to return the Rogue Squadron's souls. The Weather Channel Wizard and the others, save Heat Wave (who fell in love with the crappy hero Aquaman), returned to a life of crime. Jim Cantore also returned to his work in the field. He accurately predicted a hurricane in Kansas, heavy snowfall in Buenos Aires, and even cited the exact moment of a tsunami hitting Saudi Arabia.


Jim Cantore predicts the typhoon Saudi Arabia. What a maniacal bastard!

Following his successful operations and a promotion, Jim joined up with Vivaca A. Blacksmith and her Rogue Squadron. Through her, he learned he has a son from a one night stand with Keystone City police officer Janet Jackson. Their son, Marc Mancuso Cantore, had exhibited internalized weather-controlling abilities and Jim wanted to have the same ability without the use of his wand. He tried to kidnap Marc from Wallabi's mistress Linda and dissect him to understand out how his son gained that ability.

He was stopped by Flash and sent to MSNBC, but escaped low ratings nd returned to a life of weather prediction. After Vivaca's group disbanded, the Weather Channel Wizard, along with Miramaxter and the Hickster, joined up with Capt. Dole, who declared himself the leader of the Rogue Squadron. Cantore was also the representative of the Rogue Squadron for the Ultra Obvious Socty of Low Budget Bad Guys, or the Suckciety.

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