User:PirateFaafy/Staff of Syrupy Goodness

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An infamous weapon used by Grues, The Prince of Waffles, and Oscar Wilde.

“I cast upon thee Aunt Jemima's 70% Less Flavour Curse!”
~ Prince of Waffles on Staff of Syrupy Goodness
“Sorry, that was my fault.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Staff of Syrupy Goodness
“Wait... Syrupy?”
~ Oscar Wilde on Staff of Syrupy Goodness, again
“Is that really you?”
~ Oscar Wilde on Staff of Syrupy Goodness, once again

edit The Origin of the Staff of Syrupy Goodness

The Staff of Syrupy Goodness was once simply a stalactite protruding down from the mouth of Tinky-Winky, but it aspired to be something more. It would have, was it not an inanimate entity. But the Staff of Syrupy Goodness was not so easily stopped. It continued its quest to be something more, and found itself at the opening to the Dark Cave of Oprah. It looked upon the challenge and replied: "I can defeat the Evil One, for I am the Staff of Syrupy Goodness!" Unfortunately, It could not. It was simply too bland for the Staff of Syrupy Goodness to face. (See MSN Messenger.)

edit Military Career

The Staff of Syrupy Goodness once served in the AntiFa, and was an excellent recruit. He would come up to the Dark Soldiers of FAt people and give them disapproving glares. Lo, was the glare of a Canadian such as he (see Maple Syrup) so devastating, none could resist feeling very, very unhappy, and so, finding an overuse of commas, would flee to the Fa Forest and cry themselves to sleep. But Nobody Cares.

edit And where does the Prince of Waffles come in?

The Prince of Waffles came across the Staff of Syrupy Goodness in th battlefield, found wounded and leaking maple syrup all over the place. There was nothing left in its chassis but that little white layer of crystals that are always leftover after someone uses up all the syrup and doesn't write it on the list. And thus did he refill the staff and would then be its partner in the epic struggle against Shakespearian Novels.

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