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Emperor Pilaf

Emperor Pilaf or simply Pilaf (in Japanese ピラフ) is a cosmic being who came into existance in (March 29, 721,000,127 BC and was born unto Earth for the first time in . He is the sole specimen of the impish demi-human species of Pilai. He is also their emperor. Throughout the eons, Pilaf's one true wish has been to be the one and only ruler of the world. He has tried and failed on numerous occasions to through a number of complex schemes to fulfil his dream. At the height of his empire, he ruled over a population of 2 (not including himself).

edit Biography

edit Origin

There have been various reports on the exact origin of Emperor Pilaf, most of which are mutually exclusive theories. The most common story holds that in 721,000,127 BC a series of cosmic storms created a ripple in the space-time-continuum, which manifested itself as an interdimensional portal. At this point in space and time all kinds of different elemental particles from different paralel universes and other dimensions which shared the same space-time coordinates were believed to have been transported through a interdimensional portal, in order for to repair the damage to the cosmic space-time continuum in our universe. These particles are said to have reacted with the energy from the cosmic storms and some possible background radiation from several different cosmic sources. Scientists believe the result of the atomic and chemical reactions that ensued has been Pilaf. His exact birthday has been noted as March 29 which coincides with Get Down And Boogie Day.

edit Background-Radiation Paternity Controversy

There have been some severe discussions amongst experts as to what kind of background-radiation has been involved in the creation of Pilaf. The closest-by celestial body at the time is believed to have been planet Earth. Some scientists argue that this effectively makes Mother Earth, Pilaf's mother. However, Mother Earth has repeatedly refused to take paternity tests. Many believe that if Mother Earth is found to be Pilaf's mother, she may be held accountable for any damage Pilaf has cost. In view of these the threats of liability suits, Mother Earth's reluctancy to participate is thought to be understandable.

edit Religious Views

Many creationists believe that Pilaf was not the result of a cosmic disturbance, but rather was a being from another sphere of existance send this reality to better our world. They claim that the fact he came into being at the exact same time of the cosmic storms was the result of pure coincidence. They believe that the cosmic storms may have altered his memories and they hold his evil-doings are due to this.

edit Youth

edit Ebon Hawk

Not much is known about the first few years of Pilaf's existance. Soon after his birth he began evolving into his larvar form, but his larvar form did not support space-flight, hence he floated around aimlessly for a number of years, before being picked up by God's flagship the Ebon Hawk a number of years later. Here he developped into the young Pilaf. God followed his development closely and uses his observations in his PhD thesis on biology. God also teaches Pilaf Japanese. When the Ebon Hawk reaches Earth in 721,000,000 BC, Emperor Pilaf (then just Pilaf) took his first step onto Earth from the Ebon Hawk. Some scientists argue this means that since he came from the inside of the Ebon Hawk, the Ebon Hawk spaceship is Pilaf's mother. Others claim Pilaf may have used a special kind of landing craft as intermediate, which could legally be named as mother. It is not known if their were any witnesses to the event except for God. God has been unavailable for comment on the matter.

edit Otaku School

Pilaf was dropped off in Japan by God, and it was here that he met some unknown Otaku's. Although he initially joined in their quest for dirty drawings of schoolgirls, it was not untill after a few months that he revealed his true plan to become God of the Otaku. In his initial conversation with an unidentified Otaku, he learned that aside from searching for the fabled Hentai, they had an alterior motive, as someone had prophesised that the most beautiful person depicted on such a Hentai-picture would become their godess and patron-saint. Unbeknowst to the other Otaku, Pilaf hired a group of Bilingual Cat Girls (from who he learned English) to find the Hentai before the Otaku and replace them with dirty drawings of himself (made by Leonardo da Vinci). Had his plans succeeded, the Otaku would have had to conclude that since Pilaf was the only person depicted in Hentai, he would be their god/godess. Pilaf had intended to use his position as god to send the Otaku out to conquer the world. Unfortunatly, the plans fell through when an alert Bilingual Cat Girl noticed that the drawings they placed were created by Leonardo da Vinci, the Ninja Turtle, because of their hatred toward Ninja Turtles

edit Subordinates



edit Greatest Succeses

edit See also

edit External links

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