User:Petie/TEMP

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edit Keenspot

Founded in 1998, Keenspot is South Dakota's leading exporter of webcomics and furry fetish items. The company was created by Chris Crosby and Darren "Gav" Blueueueueueueuel over a fifteen-martini lunch at Blueueueueueueuel's Berkeley estate/nuclear reactor. Crosby recalls the founding in his autobiography, Whores, Blow and Fanart, a portion of which is reproduced here:

Crosby: "Dude, you know what we need?"
Blueueueueueueuel: "I know, man. Don't say it."
Crosby: "Funyuns, dude."
Blueueueueueueuel: "Those would rock, man. I tore through a coupla bags of those last night, man."
Crosby: "Dude, don't bogart the Funyuns."
Blueueueueueueuel: "It's cool, man, it's cool. I was coding a CGI comic-indexing script last night."
Crosby:"Dude, you don't know CGI."
Blueueueueueueuel:"I know, man, that's how powerful Funyuns are."
Crosby:"Wanna start Keenspot, dude?"
Blueueueueueueuel:"Sure, man."




edit Chrono Trigger

The Chrono Trigger Trading Company (CTTC) is a private timepiece reseller. Formed in 1873 with investment capital pooled by halogen lamp magnate C. Raymond Ono, Nobel chemist Lucca "Dogeater" Ashtear and Norweigan socialite Marle Königsdottir, the CTTC initially distributed sundials purchased from aboriginal craftsmen. Today, the CTTC has expanded into the world's leader in inaccurate timepiece distribution.


edit Company Founding

Ashtear and Königsdottir, having recently wed, ventured to the New Hampshire Outback for a month-long honeymoon. They took special interest in the sundials manufactured by the local inhabitants and brought a few crates back to their native Guardia County, England. They were dissappointed that, due to the constant cloud cover over England, their honeymoon presents just basically sat there and collected dust. Ashtear's high school friend Ono realized during a visit to the newlywed's home that all the sundials needed to function were a light source, and the "Ono Always Teatime Sundial" was created. Britons, always looking for an excuse to ditch work and drink tea, made the device an overnight success. Using their contacts in New Hampshire, the three went into business and created the CTTC.


edit Competition

Its early success had allowed the CTTC to branch into the manufacture and sale of other non-working devices such as the "Right Twice a Day Waterclock" and the "Two Hour Egg Timer". International sales rocketed and Europe's productivity decreased due to timeclocks showing the employees were always on paid vacation. Other companies tried to cash in on the craze, but none could match the sheer tardiness of the CTTC.

Then, in 1842 (according to the "Hey, At Least It's Running, So What If It's Backwards Grandfather Clock"), the Lavos Curio Corporation released the "Pocket Unpunctual", a pocketwatch that was advertised as being "Accurate to the Eon". The watch, which was notable for its horrible shreiking sound emitted at random times during the day, was soon held in the breast pocket of every well-to-do man-about-town. The CTTC rushed to counter the Pocket Unpunctual with their "Little Tardy", but was dealt their first competitive blow when it was discovered that the Little Tardy actually told proper time.

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