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“I did not have sexual relations with that fruit.”
“OMFG TANGERINES, I hate tangarines”
The tangerine is a fruit and also a colour, both of which are indistinguishable from their counterparts orange. Unlike orange, tangerine both sounds elegant and has many rhyming partners, making it the best friend of poets and fruit-lovers everywhere.
edit History of the Tangerine
In the year 2356, Captain James T. Kirk went to the planet Ocular to study the illegal mining of dilithium gas. The Ocularian government realized this predicament, and fled in gigantic space Cheese Puffs. Once the Captain and his crew arrived, they were in for a shock: All of the dilithium had been combined with cat food! This, once put under the planet Ocular's cold and sour conditions, made the first Tangerine.
The Captain hated this fruit, and so he decided to destroy the whole planet. However, this plan backfired, as the explosion of the planet sent the seeds of the tangerine throughout the galaxy, populating virtually every planet with Tangerines. James T. Kirk lived the rest of his life in exile.
Near the end of his life in 2899, Time Travel was developed, and James T. Kirk decided to make all of the people throughout history suffer by planting Tangerines in Ancient Egypt, around 3890 BC. Once retruned to the future, he found out that everybody was orange because all of the people in Africa had eaten Tangerines, changing their skin colour. He then went back on his decision and planted them in ancient Florida, around 700 BC. chesse
edit Modern History of the Tangerine
This fruit was the first subject of mind-controlled Machinery. Since that time, it has retreated from the spotlight, occasionally doing book-signings but mostly living out a quiet life of subversive domination over the citric world, but there has been no recorded incident of a tangerine ever watching a tony shalhoub movie.
Rumours that the tangerine is in fact not a member of the citrus family at all have been vehemently denied. Tangerine solicitors had this to say:
"If someone claims that the Tangerine has not been a powerful and influential member of this family for generations, then that person is wrong. As in I-just-got-shot-in-the-head-wrong."
Another Rumor states that I was her queen. This is false. I was her love, she was my queen, yes, there are a thousand years between us. I don't know when this rumor started, but it could've been when I was measuring a summer's day.
Measuring a summer’s day, I only finds it slips away to grey, The hours, they bring me pain.
Tangerine, tangerine, Living reflection from a dream; I was her love, she was my queen, And now a thousand years between.
Thinking how it used to be, Does she still remember times like these? To think of us again? And I do.
|Commonly Mistaken for Fruit|