User:Pentium5dot1/Storage facility/Nevada

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

some reference to Nevada (state) goes here; would probably be {{whoops}}

Neva enhanced

Photo of Nevada

Nevada (AKA: 痛痔奈罪 Natsumi Tsuji) is a cute twelve-year-old Japanese girl who lives in Sasebo. She is destined to be the next empress of Japan, succeeding the current emperor Hirohito when he dies. According to the Kojiki, Nevada descended to Earth from the heavens approximately 2000 years ago, landing on Mt. Fuji and causing a huge wound in the Planet that would become known as the Northern Crater. Nevada was first known amongst the ancient Japanese as the "Calamity from the Skies" (天からの災ひ, Ama kara no wazawai), but Nevada's name is also seen transliterated in the Kojiki as 禰波陀丹 (Nebada-tan). Using its terrible power, Nevada moved across Japan destroying the tribes of Ancients (or Ainu) that lived there, confining the remnants of their population to the northern island of Hokkaido. A few surviving Ancients succeed in defeating Nevada and sealing her in the Northern Crater (now in permanent female form).

Birthday: 21 November 192 BC.

Blood type: A (In Japan, one's blood type is said to determine their fate, like horoscopes, palm lines and stuff.)

Hobbies: Watching movies (See Battle Royale), guro, and pwning enemies of Japan.

Favorite animal: Cat (A clear sign Hello Kitty Nazi propaganda).

Favorite sport: Basketball

Favorite music: (No answer given, is rumored to be hip-hop, other sources says that it is J-Rock)

What do you treasure?: That's a se*cr*et! (Is rumored to be a Mexican called Pedro, however this is unconfirmed)

edit Military Career

Nevada is also known in Japan due her constant victories agaisnt the enemies of Japan (Japanese Monsters, Australia, 4kids Entertainment) and her participation in countless battles. This made her one of the most powerful beings of the universe and with her skill and prowess in battle she won the favor of Hirohito. She also fought alongside with Oda Nobunaga (Is rumored that Nevada was in fact Nobunaga's daughter) in countless battles, such as:

After the Battle of Leuctra, she went to Babylon where she helped the Prince of Persia destroy the Sands of Time (again). Her only unsuccessful campaign was The Kongo Wars, where the goal was to conquer Southern China; it failed because the current Emperor denied the supplies of Sake for the army of Nevada that engaged the Chinese army at the Battle of the Yellow River ending in a crushing defeat for General Nevada who was later captured by the evil chinese General Zhang He (AKA Michael Jackson) and Lu Bu (who uses steroids). However, she managed to escape and return to Japan, where she is planning the next invasion of China. She was later arrested by Japanese police for screwing a Mexican.

Unknown by most, she also works as a magical girl under the codename Magical Princess Neva-tan (魔法姫 ネヴァたん). At the moment, little is known about her uniform or magical powers other than that her box-cutter will become a katana with a multi-segmented blade, called the "Living Sword of Evil" (禍ノ生太刀). Being a sword with a multi-segmented blade, it can bend freely; Neva-tan has utilized this ability to its fullest by slicing enemies' throats from unusual directions. Which is good, since unlike most magical girls, Neva-tan doesn't have the Sonic Blast Technique (she's actually a rather stealthy person, though her throat-slicing technique is quite colourful).

edit Allies and Enemies

edit Allies

edit Enemies

edit External links

[[Category:United States]][[Category:Hot Babes You Don't Have A Chance With]][[Category:Magical Girls]] [[fi:Nevada]] [[fr:Nevada]] [[ja:NEVADA]] (nowiki tag intentional)

Personal tools