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“I'm not a bad lady. I just like to suck men's willies.”
“She creams on my face nightly.”
“Why, Svetlana, your boobies are in my face.”
“I like rabbits.”
Hallo. Svetlana Yurotchenkov is the most sexiest bitch to ever live in the fair land of Russia. She is a hairy princess, but is also a prostitute. She has a problem with holding in her ejaculation fluid, as her sensuality is rather high. Despite being shunned by the evil bastards of Wikipedia whose idea of a night out is editing articles on lactic acid, Svetlana is a good, kind woman, who regularly donates to "Save the Sea-Slugs", the most popular charity in Moscow. and was even approved by Tsar Nicholas II of Russia. Svetlana's favourite song is "Lady Strawberry Jam", by Mikey and Jesski, two amazing singer-songwriters.
edit Svetlana's physical appearance
Svetlana has sexy black hair. And not just on her arms. On her head, too. She is always carrying a fishhook with green eegs und hem attached to it. She chooses to wear yellow wellington boots, as well as carry a pennant, proclaiming her love for her home country. She may need a shave, but she likes it that way. She also has claws, rather than fingernails.
edit Svetlana's history
Svetty was born to Adolf Hitler and Amy Winehouse on August 34th 1382, which obviously makes her Russian. She inherited her father's taste for authority, and her mother's taste for blood. The result is incredibly sexy, and should be considered armed and dangerous. In her early teens, at five years of age, Svetty-Svetty-Boom-Boom learnt that the penis can be inserted between the legs to create happiness. She always had a feeling that this was the case, but at five years old, she was considered too inexperienced for most men. However, Joseph Stalin decided he would give her a try. Svetlana killed Stalin during their first night together, as she was just too damn good at intercourse.
By her early thirties, Svetlana had become known as the sexiest of all in Russia, and had set up a brothel, which was visited by half of Russia's population daily. Svetlana considers this a low point in her life, claiming that she feels she didn't achieve her best. Nowadays, Svetlana owns all sexual intercouse. She just owns it.
Svetlana isn't dead yet.