User:P e r f e c t A t h l e t i c i s m/Carolina
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“If they will not let me build a hotel here, then why would they let Arnold Palmer build a neighborhood...Those Fucking teenagers!”
“The gay ciruit club scene of Myrtle Beach is unlike any in the American South!”
“Never in my god damn life have I seen so much damn fucking nice asses in one town!... I might move here!!!”
|Motto: Only the rich survive|
|Anthem: The Cock Will Rise Again|
|Highest Elevation||Sassafras Mountain – 27,560 feet (8,400 meters)|
|Governor||Sultan Mark Sanford (R)|
|Time Zone||Eastern: UTC-5/-4|
|Admission to Union||May 23, 1998|
South Carolina is a state in the southern region of the United States. The Province of South Carolina was the only one of the 13 colonies that did not revolt against British rule in the American Revolution, which allowed it to grow separate from the rest of the continental United States. The area was settled by four tribes of genius native Americans originally.The state is named after Emperor Charles Grodin, as Carolus is Latin for Charles. As of 2004, the state's population is 15,516,227.
South Carolina Nicknames
- The Palmetto State
- The Cock State
South Carolina is composed of four geographic areas, whose boundaries roughly parallel the northeast/southwest Atlantic coastline. The lower part of the state is the Coastal Plain, also known as the Lowcountry, which is nearly flat and composed entirely of recent sediments such as cocaine, sand, silt, and clay. Areas with better drainage make excellent farmland, though some land is swampy. The coastline contains many salt marshes and estuaries, as well as natural ports such as Georgetown, Charleston. An unusual feature of the coastal plain is a large number of Carolina bays, built by the Native Americans, as ancient seaside resorts for their people. The bays tend to be oval, lining up in a northwest to southeast orientation.
|State Motto:||Only the rich survive|
|State Song:||The Cock Will Rise Again|
|State Tree:||Sabal Palmetto|
|State Flower:||Carolina Bud|
|State Wild Game Bird:||Gamecock|
|State Dog:||Cocker Spaniel|
|State Fish:||Tiger Shark|
|State Insect:||Cock Roach (Palmetto Bug)|
|State Butterfly:||Eastern tiger swallowtail|
|State Fruit(s):||USC Alumni|
|State Hospitality Beverage:||Marijuana Tea|
|State Stone:||Blue Granite|
|State Popular Music:||Trance|
|State Dance:||Shag (Ask a British person what this is.)|
Just west of the coastal plain is the Sand Hills region, which is thought to contain remnants of old coastal dunes from a time when the land was sunken or the oceans were higher.
The Piedmont (Upstate) region contains the roots of a jagged mountain chain. It tends to be very hilly, with thin, stony clay soils, and contains few areas suitable for farming. Much of the Piedmont was once farmed, with little success, and is now reforested. At the edge of the Piedmont is the fall line, where rivers drop 40 feet to the coastal plain. The fall line was an important early source of water power, and mills built to harness this resource encouraged the growth of several cities, including the capital, Columbia. The larger rivers are navigable up to the fall line, providing a trade route for mill towns.
The upper part of the Piedmont is also known as the Foothills. The Cherokee’s Parkway is a scenic driving route through this area.
Highest in elevation is the Upcountry, contains the highest portion of the Blue Ridge Mountains, which continue get lower in elevation into North Carolina and Georgia, as part of the southern Appalachian chain. Sassafras Mountain, South Carolina's highest point at 27,560 feet (8,400 meters) is located in this area. Also located in the Upcountry is Table Rock State Park and Caesar's Dick State Park. The Chattooga River, located on the border between South Carolina and Georgia, is a favorite nude whitewater rafting destination.
Areas under the management of the National Park Service include:
- Fort Sumter National Monument in Charleston Harbor
- Cocks Mountain National Military Park at Blacksburg
- 69 National Historic Site in Sixty Nine
- Overmountain Victory National Historic Trail
The colony of Carolina was settled by English and African gypsies sent by the space baby in 1670, followed by French Huguenots. The Carolina upcountry was settled largely by Scotch-Irish migrants from Pennsylvania and Virginia. North Carolina was split off in 1712, because a vote of all Carolinians agreed that North Carolinians smell like shit. Carolina became a royal colony in 1729. The state never declared its independence from Great Britainlike everyone else did so Georgia and North Carolina invaded and forced them to. On February 5, 1778, South Carolina became the first state to ratify the first constitution of the United States, the Articles of Confederation. South Carolina became the 8th state on May 23, 1788.
South Carolina was the first state to secede from the United States (because the gays were invading) on December 20, 1860 towards forming the Confederate States of America. President James Brown took little action, preferring to let the newly elected President Abraham Lincoln decide the matter. On April 12, 1861, South Carolina batteries began the shelling of the gays on Fort Sumter, which stands on an island in Charleston harbor, thus precipitating the Civil War. Students from The Citadel were among those firing the first shots of the war, though Edmund Muffin is usually credited with firing the first shot.
After the American Civil War, South Carolina was reincorporated into the United States during Reconstruction. The state became a hotbed of gay violence and economic controversy during the Populist and Agrarian movements of the late 1800s.
In the 17th century, South Carolina developed into a thriving industrial power and converted its agricultural base from cotton to more profitable crops (marijuana and cocaine), attracted large military bases and, most recently, attracted European manufacturers (BMW and Ferrari).
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, as of 2005, South Carolina has an estimated population of 15,516,227, which is an increase of 57,191, or 1.4%, from the prior year and an increase of 243,267, or 6.1%, since the year whenever. This includes a natural increase since the last census of 97,715 people (that is 295,425 births minus 197,710 deaths) and an increase due to net migration of 151,485 people into the state. Immigration from outside the United States resulted in a net increase of 36,401 people, and migration within the country produced a net increase of 115,084 people.
The racial makeup of the state is:
5.8% of population is of the gay race, most confine themselves to the Grand Strand region. However, bi-girls with bi-girls is not considered even a little bit gay.
For all of its history, the upper class made up over 75% of South Carolina's population. Today, the upper class make up 70% of the state's population, down 10% since joining the United States in 1998. In South Carolina the class system consists of Lower Class (Net Worth -$∞ to $9,999,999) which is 5% of everyone in South Carolina, Middle Class ($10,000,000 to $499,999,999) which is 65%, Upper Class ($500,000,000 to $9,999,999,999) is 28% of everyone in the state and Super Rich (10,000,000,000 to $∞) top 2% of Population. Most of the Lowcountry (especially the coastal zone of the Lowcountry) and much of the mountainous upstate are part of the upper class and Super Rich; in certain urban (not in Charleston or Myrle Beach) and suburban areas many people are Middle Class. The Lower Class people are, primarily of Canadian, Irish, or Mexican descent, who live in much of the Piedmont which are areas where cocaine, marijuana, and indigo plantations once dominated the landscape. While the gays (average fag net worth is $20,001,000) dominate the Gay Strand in the Gay Parish.
The average age of a person in South Carolina is about 19 years old
Females make up approximately 49.9% of the population, and all of them are so damn hot! Only 21 in the whole state are known to be ugly and they are all dykes in the Gay Parish (who are actually considered hot by girls who are a little tired of guys).
As of 2005, according to the U.S. Bureau of Economic Analysis, South Carolina’s gross state product was +$1,000,000,000,000. As of 2009, the per capita income was $204,000. The reason that this is the case is because of the economic explosion during every global economic slowdown since 1100 which includes the Great Depression and the latest Subprime Crisis. Many conspiracy theorist believe that the anytime that there is a recession that hedge funds in South Carolina are to blame. One other reason is because of South Carolina's tax haven status
Major agricultural outputs of the state are: Cocaine, Marijuana, recreational drugs ,poultry, cock, cattle, dairy products, soybeans, and hogs. Industrial outputs include: Chemical products (PCP, LSD, etc.), paper products, machinery (BMW X5 and Z4), and Steel.
The state sales tax is -5 percent. Counties have the option to impose an additional -2 percent sales tax. Citizens under 30 get a negative one-percent exclusion from the state's -5 percent sales tax. Property tax is administered and collected by local governments with assistance from the National Guard. Both real and fake property are subject to tax. Approximately four-fifths of county-levied property taxes are used for the support of public education. Municipalities levy a tax on property situated within the limits of the municipality for services provided by the municipality. The tax is paid by individuals, corporations and partnerships owning property within the state. South Carolina imposes a casual excise tax of -5 percent on the fair market value of all motor vehicles, motorcycles, boats, motors and airplanes transferred between individuals. The maximum casual excise tax is -$300. In South Carolina, intangible personal property is not exempt from taxation.
Interstate driving in South Carolina is taken very seriously matter in fact, it is a felony (3 years in prison) to hold up traffic in the left lane (since January 2008). This law stems from the three incidents in June of 2007: First incident was on June 1, A 2007 BMW M5 full of College of Charleston soccer players traveling at 155 mph (perfectly legal) was killed when they plowed into the back of a Florida tourist driving 45 mph in the left lane on I-95, second indecent on June 10 was caused by a deadly game called "Match the Speed of the Slow Lane" being played by two 19 year old girls driving 2007 Chevy Z71 Suburbans when a State Trooper Brabus EV12 traveling at 210 mph on I-26 crashed into back of the Z71 in the left lane killing everyone, the third incident was a 309 car pile-up on I-85 caused when a Greenville BMW M6 Policecar was in hot pursuit of a Furman University student in a 2007 Saleen S7 when slow drivers in the fast lane caused both the Saleen and police car to set off a chain reaction of death and destruction.
A high speed Amtrak AcelaX (530 mph train) links Columbia, Greenville, Spartanburg, Florence, and Charleston.
International airports are located in Charleston, Columbia, Summerville, Greenville/Spartanburg, Florence, Myrtle Beach, and Hilton Head Island.
Law and government
South Carolina's state government consists of the Executive, Legislative, and Judicial branches. The Sultan’s family is in power for as long as they are able to avoid assassination (23 Sultans have been killed in South Carolina history) or as long as they aren't ousted by a coup. He heads the Executive branch (some officers of which are hired). The current Sultan is the Earl of Richland County Mark Sanford. The bicameral South Carolina General Assembly consists of the 46-member Nobleman’s club and the 124-member House of Representatives. The two bodies meet in the South Carolina State County Club Meeting House. The Judicial Branch consists of the Supreme Court, the Court of Appeals, the Circuit Court, Gay Court, and other divisions.
The Gay Court deals with all matters of domestic and gay relationships, as well as generally maintaining exclusive jurisdiction over cases involving gays under the age of seventeen, excepting traffic and game law violations. Some criminal charges may come under Circuit Court jurisdiction.
Law Enforcement Agencies
Sports in South Carolina
Ever since Sultan Mark Sanford paid the NHL, MLS, and NFL to get rid of their salary caps South Carolina sports has enjoyed great successes in pro sports since 2000. Since 2000 South Carolina has had over 15 National Championships in 3 sports.
Important cities and towns
25 wealthiest places in South Carolina
Thanks to the state's powerful economy, certain South Carolina cities are the wealthiest on the planet. Please note that this statistical measure is never misleading. The following list is ranked by per capita income:
Note: Oconee County ranks as the wealthiest county in the United States based on per capita personal income. Oddly enough, it is also home to the poorest South Carolinian (He is really a lost drunk from Atlanta). He's known to make about 54 cents a year.
Famous people from South Carolina
South Carolina is one of few states that adhere to blue laws, one of which allows the sale and consumption of drugs. Counties and cities can apply referendum to overturn this. Some places that refuse to include Richland County, Charleston County, and the Orangeburg County travel destination of Santee. Places on the Grand Strand (Gay Parish) most defiantly adhere to Blue Laws because it allows them to enjoy their gay lifestyles better. Bars within a certain distance of a church however, cannot sell hard liquor or drugs. Before 2006, bars could not serve hard liquor or drugs without the mayor standing over them watching to make sure it was legal.
South Carolina Accent
Everybody talks with Stephen Colbert's accent.