User:PF4Eva/CUCU

PF4Eva

This is a page for me to show off my UnNews articles I have written thus far. And, oh boy, is this a lot! Man, I feel old!

edit UnNews articles I have written

edit 2006

edit October

• "Halloween" remake: Zombie out, Minelli in (October 9, 2006)
  • Not very good, but it was my first UnNews
• Bull of TV's "Night Court" goes on 7-hour rampage (October 10, 2006)
  Formerly A NOMINATED ARTICLE
• Bull of TV's 'Night Court" released from mental hospital; faces preliminary hearing (October 12, 2006)
• Bull of TV's "Night Court" cleared of charges in rampage (October 15, 2008)
• Big Brother 8 to be more like 1984 (October 18, 2006)
• Liza Minelli fired from "Halloween" remake (October 21, 2006)
• I have to pee (October 25, 2006)
• Britney Spears: Everything's a lie (October 26, 2006)

edit November

• Kevin Federline album released; already in bargain bin (November 2, 2006)
• Images disappearing and reappearing rapidly on Uncyclopedia (November 6, 206)
• Kevin Federline sentenced for crimes against music (November 7, 2006)
• World ends with no major news stories (November 11, 2006)
• Guitars to become extinct after guitar tab controversy (October 29, 2006)
• Texas no longer a state after OU football victory (November 15, 2006)
• Nothing happens on November 19, war declared on UnNews (November 20, 2006)
• War against UnNews cancelled after November 19 news stories are added (November 20, 2006)
• Robert Altman will not direct "M*A*S*H" prequel (November 24, 2006)
• Some guy dies somewhere (November 28, 2006)

edit December

• Santa Claus is not coming to town (December 5, 2006)
• Special Report: Minitrue like, totally gay (December 8, 2006)
• Original SNL cast reunites for DVD release (December 12, 2006)
• Holy crap! Peter Boyle dies at 71 (December 14, 2006)
  Formerly A NOMINATED ARTICLE
• Axl Rose is no longer a procrastinator; delayed album sees release (December 19, 2006)
• Santa Claus is coming to town after all (December 24, 2006)
• Iraqi dictators Gerald Ford and James Brown executed (December 31, 2006)

edit 2007

edit January

• "Emma Roberts is not Nancy Drew," protesters say (January 2, 2007)
• OU Coach Bob Stoops: Boise St. must've cheated, somehow (January 6, 2007)
• Saddam TV movie filming ends in tragedy (January 19, 2007)
• Snakes on a Plane receives no Oscar consideration (January 25, 2007)

edit February

• Police reunite for murder case (February 2, 2007)
  Formerly A NOMINATED ARTICLE
• Van Halen to reunite with Roth (February 5, 2007)
• Britney Spears cast as Bull in "Night Court" movie (February 18, 2007)

edit March

• "Leprechaun" remake in the works (March 16, 2007)
• Josh Server officially runs for president (March 22, 2007)

edit April

• "Mimzy Has Eyes" tops movie box office (April 17, 2007)

edit May

• Satan arrested in Jerry Falwell death (May 17, 2007)
• Uncyclopedian fails "Guitar Hero II" at least 20 times (May 24, 2007)

edit June

• Charles Nelson Reilly dies at 76 (June 3, 2007)
• TV's "Boston Legal" to merge with "Night Court" (June 14, 2007)
• Rob Zombie:"Halloween will be rated G" (June 18, 2007)

edit August

• Ving Rhames' dog kills zombie (August 10, 2007)
• New "Halloween" movie getting little promotion; world in panic (August 20, 2007)
• Ebert & Roeper to introduce new review method (August 28, 2007)

edit September

• Michael Myers escapes from sanitarium, kills Christopher Walken (September 3, 2007)

edit October

• Oscar Wilde ordered to appear in all Uncyclopedia articles (October 19, 2007)

edit November

• Zordon announces candidacy for President (November 7, 2007)
• Mr. Whipple squeezes Charmin, dies at 91 (November 20, 2007)

edit December

• Author Richard Leigh, sued over Lemmy likeness, dies at 64 (December 1, 2007)

edit 2008

edit January

• Nickelodeon no longer a kids' network (January 9, 2008)
• State of the Union Address affected by Writers' strike (January 30, 2008)

edit February

• Scheider death blamed on shark (February 13, 2008)

edit March

• US work places to introduce "nap time" (March 8, 2008)
• Ernest goes back to jail for remake (March 16, 2008)

edit May

• UnNews:House rejects Frank Sinatra Day, supports Phil Hartman Day (May 20, 2008)

edit June

• Hillary Clinton crowns herself Queen of America (June 7, 2008)
• UnNews:Smurfs live-action movie announced (June 16, 2008)

edit July

• Exclusive -- Is "Space Chimps" too dark for kids? (July 22, 2008)
• User writes random UnNews article in order to promote obscure articles (July 28, 2008)

edit August

• Obama marries Kevin Federline (August 4, 2008)
• Exclusive: Is the 2008 movie "Soul Men" cursed after Mac, Hayes deaths? (August 18, 2008)
• AC/DC releases first single in eight years; sounds exactly like their last single (August 30, 2008)

edit September

• Russell Brand announces candidacy at VMA Awards (September 10, 2008)
• New Mozart composition, "Master of Puppets," found in French library (September 20, 2008)
• Paul Freeman's acting career dead at 41 (September 30, 2008)

edit October

• ABC announces "Pushing Daisies" as last-minute Presidential Candidate during debate (October 19, 2008)
• "Pushing Daisies" to simulcast on all four major networks in order to block Obama ad (October 22, 2008)
• Obama buys airtime on CBS, NBC, FOX, to tell people to watch Pushing Daisies (October 30, 2008)

edit November

• UnNews:Mickey Mouse inexplicably wins 2008 election (November 8, 2008)
• YouTube changes aspect ratio to 2.35:1, users pissed (November 20, 2008)

edit December

• Batman snubbed at 2008 Gotham Awards (December 6, 2008)
• Barack Obama sworn in as Santa; everybody on Naughty List (December 24, 2008)

edit 2009

edit January

• Exclusive -- How Ashton Kutcher and the Sooners Punk'd the Gators (January 11, 2009)

edit February

• General Francisco Franco is still alive (February 8, 2009)

edit March

• Rob Zombie fired from Halloween sequel, "H2," due to beard length; Daeg Faerch rehired (March 8, 2009)
• Power Rangers is surprisingly still on, canceled (March 12, 2009)
• Beetleborgs, Street Sharks, Space Ghost to hit big screen (March 25, 2009)

edit April

• Winkler license plate is denied (April 18, 2009)
• "Halloween 2: H2" trailer debuts on Uncyclopedia, Daeg Faerch superimposed, and more! (April 25, 2009)

edit June

• "Titanic" sequel canceled due to Millvina Dean death, bullshit plot (June 4, 2009)
• My damn TV won't work (June 15, 2009)
• McMahon fires Trump, dies (June 25, 2009)
• Grim Reaper commits suicide after massive week of celebrity deaths (June 29, 2009)

edit July

• Oscar-winning actor Karl Malden selected as new Grim Reaper (July 3, 2009)
• Walter Cronkite dies of news overload (July 19, 2009)
• Daeg Faerch fans to sabotage "Halloween II" test screenings (July 29, 2009)

edit August

• UnNews:Kirk Cameron warns 1980s entertainers of impending death: "You're next, Michael Gross!" (August 8, 2009)
• UnNews:Interview — Rob Zombie discusses "Halloween II" (August 12, 2009)
• Lord Zedd arrested for tresspassing; alcohol suspected (August 18, 2009)

edit September

• "Halloween" series to reboot after "Final Destination" victory (September 2, 2009)
• Orange soda tax championed; Kel commits suicide (September 18, 2009)

edit October

• Edgar Allan Poe dies at age 200 (October 16, 2009)

edit November

• Steven Tyler quits Aerosmith; other bands follow; Obama declares international emergency (November 11, 2009)
• A Vampire Version of "Gone With The Wind" Gets the Go Ahead (November 16, 2009)
• "Halloween II" Blu Ray and DVD announced; Rob Zombie retires (November 29, 2009)

edit December

• Weinsteins: "We are fucked!" (December 12, 2009)
• Eddie Murphy lives of natural causes, aged 48 (December 23, 2009)

edit 2010

edit January

• Johnny Carson returning to "Tonight Show" (January 25, 2010)
• Jean Simmons Gene Simmons dies; KISS seeking replacement (co-write with Zim) (January 29, 2010)

edit February

• Some guy named Haig dies (February 21, 2010)
• Paramount and Sea World announce remake of horror film, "Orca" (February 28, 2010)

edit March

• Lindsay Lohan auditions for "Halloween III" as Michael Myers (March 16, 2010)
• Runaways filmmakers to produce NSYNC biopic (March 30, 2010)

edit April

• UnColumns:What do you mean Ricky Martin is gay? (April 13, 2010)
• Controversial Barney episode to air uncensored (April 24, 2010)

edit May

• Narrow-minded Blu-ray players refuse to play "overrated" Avatar (May 3, 2010)
• Hollywood embraces porn as Hefner saves Hollywood sign (co-write) (May 8, 2010)
• UnNews Editorial:Get these people to host SNL (May 12, 2010)
• Ronnie James Dio, metal's greatest vocalist, dies at 67 (May 18, 2010) \\m// \\m//
• Haim Saban buys back rights to "Power Rangers", fans rejoice (May 20, 2010)
• Carpenter buys back rights to "Halloween" (May 21, 2010)

edit June

• Jason Bateman mistakes Tootsie for actual woman (June 5, 2010)
• UnColumns:Kirk Cameron warns, "1980s death purge is not over, Rick Moranis" (June 7, 2010)

edit UnNews that I've contributed to

• TV's Mr. Whipple dies of ass cancer (November 19, 2007)
• Sesame Street rated X (November 24, 2007)
• Confusion in White House as nobody agrees on election winner (November 8, 2008)

edit Titles I suggested that someone else wrote for me

• Britney Spears finally gets her eyes checked, files for divorce from Kevin Federline (November 23, 2008)

edit Not mine, but friggin' hilarious anyway

• Man arrested for using wrong tomato sauce (October 16, 2006)
• Peter Jackson announces new Condensed Lord of the Rings DVD (October 17, 2006)
• Andy Griffith sues himself (November 12, 2006)
• UnNews to merge with UN News (November 14, 2006)
• Cat Steven's new album filled with great tunes, hatred (November 14, 2006)
• Buyers line up for a Wii (November 19, 2006)
• Snakes in a Car filming goes bad (November 19, 2006)
• Santa's saintliness challenged by Christians (December 2, 2006)
• Death of Pinchot sparks riots, arrests (December 11, 2006)
• Woman posing as teenage boy is actually a man posing as a woman posing as a teenage boy (April 17, 2007)
• Local guitarist uncovers hidden music in Da Vinci's 'Last Supper' (November 10, 2007)
• Obama calls for 'Eight is Enough' (August 29, 2008)
• Obama overturns Bush stem cell policy; plans clone of himself (March 9, 2009)
• Missing Link found, creationists commit suicide (May 20, 2009)
• Green Day says bad things about Wal-Mart (May 23, 2009)
• New York Times introduces "worse than Ghost Dad" rating (May 24, 2009)
• UnNews:AC/DC tickets sell out across Australia in 7 nanoseconds (May 25, 2009)
• Letterman arested for rape (June 13, 2009)
• UnNews:Pope still Catholic, but bear does not shit in woods