User:Otako

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Otako is an 18 year old cockasian caucasian male in the strange region of New Mexico, where we stole land from the Mexicans where it never rains. He enjoys long walks on the barren miles of sand. He once found a beautiful oasis in the middle of nowhere, but he was tripping so bad that he's not sure it exists, let alone where it is.

edit Otako

edit Otako's Home

Dilapidated shed

This blows

Otako lives in a small, adobe-covered building called a pueblow. This device was invented by the Indians because those damn teepeas kept tearing in the wind. Otako loves the desert, as cool temperatures, trees, and animals other than rattlesnakes scare him. He was once bitten by a rattlesnake, but sucked the poison out of his veins and killed the snake by tying it into a bow tie around his neck. Unfortunately, he was an idiot, and left it there when he went to bed, and its friend tried to kill him with a coat hangar.

edit Otako's Favorite Movies

Otako likes extremely old movies, as there are no DVD players or movie theaters in New Mexico. He has never seen a movie newer than 1974,when some poor soul got lost trying to get from California to Florida. This is strange, as there are many HDTVs in New Mexico, and they all have Direct TV connections that have HBO. Thus, this sad excuse for a human has never seen the matrix, or even star whores.His actual favorite movie is Fiddler on the Roof, as he has always wanted a fiddle.

edit Otako's Favorite Shows

Oprah

Stupid whore

Otako likes anime of all ways, shapes, and forms. He was once shown an episode of Yu Yu Hakusho and liked it. He also likes Code Geass, because he does not require a good plot to like a show. He likes Lie to Me, because he wants to learn how to lie, and he likes Oprah, because he likes making racial slurrs at the TV. He thinks that Oprah is a fat, ugly whore. He hates her mostly because she does not cover her face. Where he lives, women are not allowed to show their face, or even go to town on their own. Or at all.

edit Otako's Death

Otako will die in February of 2019, due to it raining on his birthday, the 7th. When the first drop of rain hits him, he will melt due to the fact that he thinks that rain is acid sent by god to punish infidels.

edit Core Beliefs

Sorry, the funny stopped, and it's time to be serious now.
Buddychr This user has found Jesus and is therefore a potential threat to society.
Marijuana MY This user likes to smoke weed.
typo-G This user does not speak Typo and furthermore believes Typo to be an embarassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of Typo.

Oh, wait, FUCK THAT.

FireV2 This user rejects the theory of global warming or at least thinks it's someone else's problem.
Lorenz attractor yb.svg This user is fascinated by chaos theory. Probably, s/he doesn't really know but 'chaos' sounds faintly apocalyptic: bring on the carnage!
BS This userpage is bullshit.
usb This user likes to use userboxes.

Gefahrensymbol F This user is a pyromaniac.


MS-P This ****ing ****er ****ing well speaks his ****ing mind laced with ****ing profanities.
Screw It This user reserves the right to completely screw up his or her edits life by spending too much time on Uncyclopedia.
LENT This user would give up uncyclopedia for Lent if they weren't a serial rapist.
MEH This user redefines lazy.
Brain This user's IQ is 132.

Paladin This user is a paladin. Hide your demons and undead.
Coffee sm
This user requires a steady supply of Caffeine.
So hand it over. NOW.
(List of users who NEED caffeine)

BK THIS USER IS A BLACK KNIGHT!!
\m/ This user is a metalhead, prone to wearing offensive shirts and headbanging to really loud music. Metalheads also have long hair, but are not to be confused with hippies.
OperaLogo This user uses Opera, but is above petty musicals.
sa-N This user is a native speaker of Sarcasm.
al-G This user does not speak the Ancient Language and furthermore believes the Ancient Language to be an embarrassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of the Ancient Language.
bl-X This user only speaks Blasphemy enough to seduce native Blasphemy speakers.
wr-N This user is a native speaker of Write-only.
Hiding kitty This user is a member of the Anti Kitten Huffing Movement.

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