From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
edit About Me
My name is Phil. I enjoy the tv shows: Ninja Warrior, Naruto, Robot Chicken, Family Guy, The Simpsons, Futureama, Boondocks, and other things. My favorite books are graphic novels and action/fantacy/sifi. I love pets and own a dog. I am interested in zombies and art. I draw anime and maps but I can sketch very well. I play the piano and xylophone. I am an ear player and I can read. I seek Knowledge. I hate vandals and love wikipedia! I am here to educate you all on cool stuff! Thank you! I LIKE YUMMY STUFF< FUN STUFF< AND AWSOME STUFF. THOSE WHO SEEK LIFE SEEK PAH Page on Wikipedia and Osirus 9 on Uncyclopedia My Name In Greek (my ancestry): ΡηιΛ I am PAH, PAH I am...You are becoming sleepy. Be Mesmerized by my awesomeness. Fear the eye.
OOOOOOOOOOOOO SSSSSSSSSSSS IIIIIIIIIIII RRRRRRRRRRRR UU UU SSSSSSSSSSSS OO OO SS II RR RR UU UU SS OO OO SS II RR RR UU UU SS OO OO SSSSSSSSSSSS II RRRRRRRRRRR UU UU SSSSSSSSSSSS OO OO SS II RR RR UU UU SS OO OO SS II RR RR UU UU SS OOOOOOOOOOOOO SSSSSSSSSSSS IIIIIIIIIIII RR RR UUUUUUUUUUUU SSSSSSSSSSSS You Are Wapanese NINE
Created By PAH Jr.
ON UNCYCLOPEDIA, THE MYSPACE FOR NERDS THAT ARE TO STUPID TO USE WIKIPEDIA. the only two ways to vandalize is to say stupid things, or say smart things.
|Phil, President of Imagination Land|
|Order||1st President Imagination Land|
|Term of office||1,000bc–3,000ad|
|Preceded by||Gandalf The White|
|Succeeded by||The Grim Reaper|
|Political party||I love to Party!|
|Date of birth||Un-known|
|Place of birth||Pasadena, California|
|Date of death||Imortal|
|Place of death||Imortal|
|First Lady||YOUR MAMA|
| This article kicks Ass, JUST LIKE ME...Because I am Awesome...And I am the Best...And I am Awesome...And I kill Zombies|
I am AWESOME Osirus9
Did you know, the Death Gods Love Apples
The Red counter shows the amount of people killed by Death Notes since you began reading this article
The Green Counter tells how many trees have been destroyed since you began to read this article. SHAME ON YOU TREE KILLER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
edit Reviews and Quotes about Osirus 9
"The best page on the internet"-PAH
"It is ingenious!"-PAH
"It has me sitting at the end of my screen"-PAH
"The eighth wonder of the world! How someone can be so cool, smart, and funny is beyond me"- PAH
Tickle is a free quiz network that is fun to go on. I am a userthere! It is a place to make friends and stuff so join Take this link to my zombie Quiz, i ganentee that it is the best Zombie test on the Web
edit PAH Page
edit Cool Jokes
1) People should drink apple juice because OJ can kill you
2) What do you get when you mix a brown chicken and a brown cow? BrownChickenBrownCow (said like Bow chika Bowow)
3) You know that when Chuck Norris jumps in water, he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norrised.
4) What is the difference between a ferrari and a hundred dead babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.
edit "Things That Grind My Gears"
1) People Who Talk on the Phone While driving
3) How a dvd or video game costs 2cents to make and is sold for thirty bucks WTF
4) Vandals on Wikipedia. I bet you vandals color the dictionary as well
5) Adolf Hitler
6) Jerks and Bullies: GET A LIFE
7) Mega Gamers
8) People who are intolerent of other peoples cultures
9) Sweds, niggers, spics, chincs, and queers.
edit Random Thoughts and Words of Wisdom
1) Why don't you ever see in the news paper the title "Pychic Wins Lottery?" don't waste money on pychics
2) Isn't it unnerving that doctors call what they do a practice?
3) If you throw money at people is it charity or assalt?
4) How can you tell when sour cream goes bad?
5) Can God make a breakfast burrito so hot that he himself could not eat it?
6) How young can you die of old age?
7) If you try to fail and you succede which have you done?
8) If a smurf chokes what color does he turn?
9) If a vampire has no reflection in a miror why is his hair so neat?
10)Can you learn how to read from a "reading for dummies" book?
11)If Pro is the opposite of Con than is Progress the opposite of Congress?
12)Why is the man who invests your money called a broker?
13)If the Prophesor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconuts than why can't he fix a hole in the side of a ship?
14)If a drugstore is open 24/7 then why are there locks on the door.
15)If a schitsifrenic threatons to commit scuicide than is it a hostage situation?
16)Why do they put brail on drive through windows?
17)If a house is on fire and you make more fire is the fire better or worse?
18)Do Mailmen deliver mail to themselves or do other mailmen deliver mail to them. Is there a neverending chain of mailmen?
19)If you dug a hole (hypatheticaly) to the direct center of the earth, what gavitationtal effect would happen? Would you fall down to the bottom or fall up from where you came? Would you keep falling up and down endlessly? Or would you just float impervious to gravity?
20)Do you ever notice that random chance always picks you for jury duty, but never to win the lottery?
21)They say that the early bird gets the worm. It must suck to be the early worm.
22)Even the man who has everything envies the man who has 2 of everything.
23)You never know how many friends you have until you get a swiming pool, a stereo, and a billion dollars.
24)Modesty is the art of drawing attention to the thing you are being humble about.
25)Do people just act stupid? No, I think it is the real thing.
26)The dollar will never fall as low as what people will do to obtain it.
27)Only in America can a letter saying you one a million dollars be reguarded as junk mail.
28)An employer is a man who is late when you are early, and early when you are late.
29)Isn't it funny how unimportant your job is when you want a raise, and how important it is when you want a day off?
30)If George W. Bush played a rock in chess, could Bush have a chance at victory?
31)If you grifiti a white building white, or grafiti grafiti on a white building white, is it grafiti or against the law?
edit Santa Claus's Criminal Record
As well as indecent acts Santa Claus is wanted for the following offenses:
- Crimes Against Humanity
- Kidnapping (400,000,000 victims, all elves;)
- Slavery (400,000,000 elves, 9 reindeer)
- Murder (326 known victims, all children, except one, who "saw him")
- Stalking (6,500,000,000 instances)
- Animal Neglect (1 reindeer with inflamed nose)
- Production of Counterfeit Items (Chineise apparently)
- Drunk Driving (137,595,242 instances)
- Violation of International Air Space
- Breaking and Entering
- Theft (426,511,639 reports per year)
- Piracy: A consortium of companies including MGM and Capitol Records are currently in litigation regarding payment of royalties on illegal DVD and CD Copies
- Stalking little kids on Myspace
- Tax evasion
edit ZOMBIE SURVIVAL
Zombies are not really dead. They are just people with the salanum virus. The origon of the virus is unknown but it is transfered by exchange of bodily fluids or being bitten by the "living dead". The virus is very common in third world countries. When a large scale of people are infected, it is called an outbreak. When the virus has infected a large amount of people and a country is at stake, it is called Z- DAY or the Zombie war. When all of the zombies are killed or kill us, the war is over. The only way to truly kill a zombie is by destroying its brain. The best tools for this are swords and baseball bats. Do not set them on fire! Then you will burn your city down and they will still be alive! When a zombie is in water it will bloat. Zombies do not feel pain and are only smart enough to eat. why this is so, no one knows. zombies have bad ballance and are very slow. they will become easily destracted by sound and light but they can follow prey for as long as they want as long as they keep the sent of the prey. A zombie is thought to have a sixth sence. Humans use around 10% of the brain if even that. Zombies shut down about 6% of that 10% and unlock about 80% of their brain. The organs are all dead except the organs needed to walk and eat. they do not need to digest food and their blood becomes a dark red or brown. anyone who encounters the living dead should find a weapon and destroy the brain. Then you must dispoze of the corpse, get non perishable food and thensome weopons. take them to a two or three story building. It can not be a public building. the more people, the more zombies. the reason you want a two story building with only stairs or a ladder is because zombies can't climb stairs or ladders. make sure you make little noise and if you have bunkered in a gated area, try to plant food or you will die of starvation. get tons of water but do not use a hose or fossit for the water supply may be contaminated. do not attempt to walk through a crowd of zombies acting like one. they somehow distinguish the lining from the dead. you should not act dead or the zombies will eat you anyway. rural areas are also good places to hide but you will be discovered eventualy and when you are, you will be cought off guard. Z Day will most likely come to the USA in 10-15 years.Britain: 5-10 years, and China: 10 minutes but it will be covered up. Stay clear of the third world and poor nations. avoid swamps and water. avoid isolated countries. zombies are known to travel and communicate with each other. beware the Z!
edit Phil's Gallery
As you may know, I am an artist. I have created an art gallery with cool art! An example of this art is the image below. I am not yet certain that I will put it online yet but if you would like an image, type on my discussion page:GALLERYART and then type an image. These are my image categories: Ninja, cartoon, sketch, or warior. All images are owned by me and you will be subjected to mention it on your user page. Thank you for your contributions!
edit Gangsta Lord of da Blings: Ultimate Lord of the Rings Parody
One Bling to rule West Side Earth: So there was this bling as big as my grill ya'll. It was off the shizle dog and this gang called the Orc Bloods had it but the Cryp Men and The Elf Crew didn think it was chill so they jumped Saran and took the bling. Then this ugly mo fo found it and took it until this Hobbit jumped him and took da ring ya'll. Then Gandalf came to the Hobbit's appartment with some drugs and found the bling so he took it and gave it to his homes, Frodo. Frodo gonna take it to the Doom Pawn shop to sell so he can get some cash. So he go and he see Golem and he all ugly. Golem callenged Frodo to a break dance contest. There was some mad skill but Frodo one. Then Frodo and his homes are goin by and the Blood Orcs drive by and Frodo gets shot. Then Aragorn and Boramere come and save Frodo. Frodo is taging a building and Boremere takes the bling so Aragorn caps a pop up his ass and gets the Bling Back. So Legolas and Gimly come an they all baggin all da time. Gimly like "yo mama so fat i jump her she bleed hershy surrup". So they get to the pawn shop and they have a gang war in Oskilioth, the old parking lot, and Frodo and his crew all win. So Frodo get a billion dolla for da bling and lives happilly ever after.
edit Google Earth: FIVE SIMPLE STEPS TO ACCESS TO THE WORLD
Google Earth is an image taken of earth in 2007 from space. You are able to find any location on this planet with Google Earth. Google Earth is not only way cool but it helps you print out directions. You could be in The Forbidden City and get directions to the White House. Google Earth is ideal for travel, buisiness, or just skrewing around! These Steps are Simple directions on how to use Google Earth.
1)Go to the Google Earth Search Box and type in the Country that you wish to look at.
2)Type in the City you want to look at. If it takes you somewhere else, type in more details or a major landmark near by.
3)If you have found the City, type in the adress to the place you wish to view or the most important landmark that is within 5 miles of the place you are searching for. If you still can not find the place you are searching for, search manualy from the nearest landmark by clicking the map and dragging it until you have found the place you want.
4)If you would like to save the plac click the thumbtack icon on the bottom of the page and type in the information required in the box to the left side of the screan. if you want directions, click "to hear" or "from hear". You can select "print" when you are finished.
5)To relocate the place you thumbtacked, look on the list on the left side of the page. If you want to see hotels, resturants, and/or national landmarks and parks, check the icons on the bottom of the page indicating this.
Thank you for reading this guide and i hope it works out for you!
edit Jokes like Russian Reversal and Tube Bar Prank Calls
edit The Fruit Joke
Four men are in a contest. The winner of the contest gets one billion 999 million 999 hundredthousand and 1 dollars and 50cents. To win this great prize they have to undergo a great challenge, but if they fail, they will be instantly killed. They are given fruits and they have to stuff them up their buts without making any noise or showing a facial expresion. The first man gets three apples. He puts the first to in, then makes a face and is killed. The second guy has two bananas and two avacodos. He squeels in pain and dies. The third guy has pitless cherries with no stems. he puts eight out of nine in when he starts cracking up with laughter and is killed. When he goes to heaven, an angel says "why'd you give up, you almost won?". The man replies "I started laughing because the next guy, the last contestant, had ten pineapples. You will never look at a pineapple with a straight face again.
edit Russian Reversal and Коммциіѕм ☭
- In Soviet Russia, fool pities YOU!!
- In Zombie Russia, brain eats YOU!!
- In Soviet Russia, Google searches YOU!!
- In Soviet Russia, baby aborts YOU!!
- In Soviet Russia, car drives YOU!!
- In Soviet Russia, monkey spanks YOU!!
- In Soviet Russia, toilet flushes YOU!!
- In Soviet Russia, road forks YOU!!
- In Soviet Russia, fish catches YOU!
- In Soviet Russia, radio listens to YOU!!
- In Soviet Russia, chair sits on YOU!!
- In Soviet Russia, cold catches YOU!!
- In Soviet Russia, cow tips YOU!!
- In Soviet Russia, sentence finishes YOU!!
- In Soviet Russia, bong hits YOU!!
- In Soviet Russia, bucket kicks YOU!!
- In Soviet Russia, TV watches YOU!!
- In Soviet Russia, steak grills YOU!!!
- In Soviet Russia, CD burns YOU!!
- In Soviet Russia, bar walks into YOU!!
- In Soviet Russia, ass kicks YOU!!
- In Soviet Russia, Waldo finds YOU!!
- In Soviet Russia, weed smokes you!!!
- In Soviet Russia, bag punches YOU!!
- In Soviet Russia, frog dissects YOU!!
- In Soviet Russia, kitten huffs YOU!!
- In Soviet Russia, mouse traps YOU!!
- In Soviet Russia, remote controls YOU!!
- In Soviet Russia, movie pirates YOU!!
- In Soviet Russia, day seizes YOU!!
- In Soviet Russia, picture hangs YOU!!
- In Soviet Russia, bank robs YOU!! (oh... wait... it does that here too...)
- In Soviet Russia, deer hunts YOU!!
- In Soviet Russia, roulette turns YOU!!
- In Soviet Russia, laundry hangs YOU!!
- In Soviet Russia, toast burns YOU!!
- In Soviet Russia, corn pops YOU!!
- In Soviet Russia, nut cracks YOU!!
- In Soviet Russia, weight gains YOU!!
- In Soviet Russia, Internet surfs YOU!!
- In Soviet Russia, Pokemon catches YOU!!
- In Soviet Russia, Hot Dog eats YOU!!
- Al Breakyourneck (I'll break your neck.)
- Al Coholic (Alcoholic)
- Al Depantsyou (I'll de-pants you.)
- Al Kaseltzer (Alka-Seltzer)
- Al Knockerup (I'll knock her up.)
- Al Kykyoras (Greek) (I'll kick your ass.)
- Al Killeu (I'll kill you.)
- Ben Debanana (Bend the banana)
- Ben Dover (Bend over.)
- Butchie Pantsdown (Put your pants down.)
- Frank Enstein (Frankenstein)
- Hal Jalykakik ("How'd ya like a kick?")
- Hugh Douche (You douche!)
- Ima Dummy (I'm a dummy.)
- Joe Mama (Your mama)
- Mark Miewords (Mark my words.)
- Mike Ocksmall (My cock's small.)
- Mike Ockhurts (My cock hurts.)
- Pancho Mouth (Punch your mouth)
- Pepe Roni (Pepperoni)
- Phil Miaz (Fill my ass.)
- Phil Degrave (Fill the grave.)
- Sal Lami (Salami)
- Sid Down (Sit down.)
- Stan Dup (Stand up.)
- Stu Peit (Stupid [?])
edit Red VS Blue
edit Sarge Quotes
1) “A sniper rifle is a cowards weapon. when you kill your enemy, you want to look in his eyes so he knows you are the one who beat him to death.”
2)"Grif, you idiot! Why in sam-hill would you give someone CPR for a bullet wound in the head!? That doesn't make a lick o' sence!"
3)“Donut, i want you to wait for him to walk by, and then shoot him right in the back just like John Wayne would have done.”
4)“You just got sarged.”
5)“I hope you brought your wallet, because the rent in hell gets paid in advance.”
6)“A priest, a rabbi, and Grif walk into a bar, and I kill him.”
7)“Simmons, I want you to poison Grif's next meal.”
8)“Hey Grif, hold hold these bullets for me. In you gut!”
9)“Lopez was the best robotic creation i ever built *sniff* no offense simmons.”
edit R V B Favorite Episode
edit Things that may cause the Apocalypse
- Jesus calling the faithfull up through a rapture
- Nuclear warfare
- Global warming(yeah right, but seriously, it is happening!)
- God and or Satan feel like being an *#%@hole
- Aliens(invader zim)
- Santa Claws escaping from prizon
- volcanic eruptions
- The Death of Chuck Noris
- Yo Mama in the nude
- I feel like being an *#%@hole
- Evolution of Gorrillas and or other species
edit Comming soon
- Austin Powers Quotes