User:Orion Blastar/Bullshito

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

Bullshito is the ancient Japanese art of politics using drama for a code of conduct and a way of life. It is often called the politician's way.

edit History

Bullshito developed between the 11th to 14th centuries as set forth by numerous translated documents dating from the 12th to 16th centuries (as mentioned below). According to the Japanese dictionary Shitakukan Yourou Kuso, "Bullshito is defined as a unique philosophy (neoconi) that spread through the politician class from the Kichigaijimata (nixon) period."

The core tenets of Bullshito date from as early as the 12th century as demonstrated by the earliest translations of Japanese literature and political house codes. Under the Kisama Oushikoso, Bullshito became formalized into Japanese Feudal Law.

edit Ancient Times

Many wars were waged because of Bullshito, over matters so trivial like one Shogun making fun of another Shogun's robes or for no reason at all sometimes. Bullshito is used by warlords to make up reasons that don't even exist, like the other Shogun had an evil wizard working for him that caused the crops to die last year. Then after years of war, it was found out that there was no wizard at all that ever existed, but honor prohibits speaking out against the Shogun who made the accusations.

edit Modern Times

Both the Democrats and Republicans in the USA follow Bullshito. It is the way the federal government works. It is the way that leaders are nominated, and the way the voting process works. It is the way that the USA, secretly controls the rest of the world. George W. Bush used Bullshito to convince everyone in the USA that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction, after the invasion started it was figured out that there were no weapons of mass destruction. Bush used Bullshito and simply stated that Saddam was working with Al Qeada and the 911 hijackers. Until later it was figured out that there was no such connection, in which Bush used Bullshito again and said it was for the freedom and rights of the Iraqis to remove Saddam from power and bring about free elections. Some bought it, others were skeptical. When the Iraqi war lasted longer than World War II, Bush used Bullshito again and said a withdraw of troops would cause the terrorists to win and destabilize Iraq and cause a civil war. Democrats used Bullshito and said that there is already a civil war in Iraq and we need to pull out troops now. Bush used Bullshito yet again and misdirected attention towards Iran and North Korea as new possible threats that might use weapons of mass destruction against the USA. Democrats used Bullshito and said it is yet more manipulations by the Republicans to lead us into another war.

edit Uses of Bullshito

Many have used Bullshito to get out of traffic tickets. That works quite well. Bullshitto is also the way to lobby Congress into passing bills into laws that you wish to have passed. Bullshitto is the way that many MegaCorporations use to earn millions and billions of dollars via federal government contracts in exchange for shoddy works or expensive parts like $500 hammers and $1200 toilet seats. Bullshito can be used on college term papers when you don't feel like spending time doing research but want to write a good paper anyway. Bullshito can help you win arguments and debates. Bullshito can help you get dates with supermodels. Bullshito is often used to create articles on Wikipedia as well.

edit Bullshito for a cause

Al Gore used Bullshito to bring attention towards Global Warming in 2003 that he was dead-set against in 1997 and didn't do anything to halt it while he was Vice-President. He uses Bullshito to blame the Republicans who were not in power during that time, and blame the Oil companies (of which he owns stock in) for global warming. Gore uses Bullshito to own stock in companies that benefit from global warming threats, as well as own stock in oil companies to play both sides of the field. Due to the massive use of Bullshito, it is not known if Global Warming is true or not, but it is sure that either way, Gore is set to profit from it one way or another. Such is the way of using Bullshito for a cause.

edit See Also

Personal tools
projects