User:Orian57/UnProvise/UPR/Random Game Show!
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UnProvise Name: Random Game Show!
Description: Welcome contestants, to the Random Game Show! No telling what will happen! Just sign these papers here. (This UnProvise doesn't follow the traditional style of an UnProvise and is written more like an UnScript...which is fine, just keep it consistent. If and when the game is done, the creator will reformat it to the Unprovise style. maybe.)
Contributors: VGDictator, BlueYonder, Berry
Who Is Who: VGDictator plays Game Show Host (or "Host" for short), BlueYonder plays Willard, a contestant, Berry plays Edgar, surprisingly a contestant
Host -- The host turns to the contestants and says, "Okay contestants, why don't you introduce yourselves!"
Willard -- "Uh...well, I'm Willard, I'm from South London, I'm hopelessly addicted to heroin, I've got thirteen illegitemate children, and I'm only here because I shagged the producer. Hi!"
Host -- The host says, "Welcome to the show, Willard! Let's hope you'll spend the prize money on heroin instead of your undeserving mongrel children! By the way, I noticed you have a "W" in your name... Do you know what that means?"
Willard -- "That my name has the same first letter as several rude and amusing words?"
Host -- The host replies, "Well yes, but also, it means you have the Letter Of The Day!" Confetti falls from the ceiling. The host continues, "But that's not all! You also win one thousand dollars!" The host flips a switch and Willard is suddenly set on fire. The host replies with his catchphrase, "Whoa! Didn't see that one coming." The flames die down and Willard is mostly unscathed, besides numerous scorch marks and singed eyebrows. The host then says, "Well, that was exciting, so if we're done let's go meet our second contestant!"
Edgar -- "That would be me. I'm Edgar and I'm a cabbie from Liverpool. I live with me wife Bertha (hi darling, I'm on the telly!) and our three dogs, Martha, Omelette and Splgrffmn. Me mum always said that a dog's a man's best friend and momma was right, if ya ask me."
Willard -- Under his breath, Willard whispers "Ah yes, Bertha. She likes it from behind every Thursday."
Edgar -- Seemingly oblivious of the fact that Willard almost openly admitted that he had been shagging Edgar's wife for months, Edgar continued sharing his life story with the viewers. "I've been a cabbie for twenny years. It's noice, altough I'd rather be a shepherd. Me dad was a shepherd, until he died in a bizarre accident involving a revolving door, a bucket and an irishman. Those doggone Irish, always tryin' to bring an honest englishman down, like me mum always said. Mum's a smart woman, if ya ask me. Altough she hasn't been the same since we took her to the nursin' home. "
Willard -- "Ah yes, the nursing home. In the broom cupboard next to the sewing room every other Saturday." mutters Willard to himself absently. "And then she always sits back, lights a cigarette and talks about her working class dirtbag of a son."
Host -- While listening to the conversation, the host fell asleep. The host was then randomly catapulted into the air. He landed with a heavy thud. He got up, dusted himself off and said his catchphrase. He then turned to Edgar and says, "Yes, fascinating, but I'm afraid we must cut you off there, because it's boring. We don't want our viewers to fall asleep, do we?" He moved back to the podium in slow, laborious steps. he then turns back to the contestants and said, "While we wait for the other contestants to introduce theirselves, we'll get started with a light obstacle course." The host pushed a button and an obstacle course springs from the floor with a sproing! noise. Among the obstacles was an acid filled snake pit, a flaming chain saw, and underfed grizzly bears in an acid filled snake pit with flaming chainsaws for arms. The host said, "On your GO!"
Willard -- Willard stands staring open-mouthed at the obstacle course for but a minute, when suddenly, a shout is heard from the audience: "That's him, dad! That's the guy who got me pregnant!" Willard gets an idea, and a malicious glint in his eye; running into the audience, he dashes toward the person who made the cry-a pregnant, blond teenager-and viciously rips her stomach open and pulls out the embryo. While she lies bleeding to death, Willard throws the embryo into the acid pit; the stem cells in the embryo fuse with the acid and cause it to multiply. It flows over the brim and propmtly kills the underfed bears. Willard laughs manically and does a soumersalting jump over the acid, leaving Edgar somewhat stranded on the other side.
Edgar -- Being somewhat unathletic - even though he had played football in high school about thirty years ago, a hobby his mother was rather proud of. His father, too, until he died in the aforementioned "revolving door incident", as it was called in Edgar's family - Edgar was standing on the wrong side of the acid that was rushing towards him and the rented equipment the crew was shooting the game show on. "Uh", Edgar mumbled as the liquid flowed towards him. "Seems as if I'm not the winner this time." He then disappeared with a slight "Aaaaaaarrrrggggghhhh."
Host -- The host hops on top of his podium. "Amazing, Willard! You win a slightly used car!" he points over to a beat up minivan that is steadily dissolving in the overflowing acid. The host then says, "I'm sorry Edgar, but it seems you didn't finish the obstacle course. But here's our consolation prize!" A curtain falls away, revealing a month's supply of bar soap, which has already melted away due to the slightly alkaline properties of soap, although the patch of floor it was sitting on is quite clean. The host continues from atop his slowly sinking podium, "I'm afraid that's all the time we have left for the show. Don't forget to tune in next week for, 'Random Game Show!'" Then an airplane crashes into the studio, instantly killing everyone in a fiery, smashy death.
Random Game Show! has been deemed "finished" and has reached its natural conclusion, please don't continue it. If you disagree with this please take up the matter on this UnProvise's talkpage.