User:Orian57/UnProvise/UPR/Insane Suicidal Cult

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UnProvise Name: Insane Suicidal Cult
Description: The church with heart, namely your heart.
Contributors: Nezlr
Who Is Who: Nezlr plays Yrrej Wellfall, the Cult Leader, BlueYonder plays Rufus, a compulsive joiner of random cults, DJ Irreverent plays . , a punctuation point searching for an honest living at the end of long sentence.


WOOPS!
There may be a bit of a problem with this UnProvise! It's not really formatted correctly. It needs to be more like a book than a script - you should be able to understand it fully, even if the name tags were taken away. If someone could fix this up up for the greater glory of UnProvise, it would be great. Don't want formatting to get in the way of comedy...

"Reverend" Yrrej Wellfall, enters church with several others who attend. He takes the podium with his partner, Jim.

Yrrej -- (Reading from a piece of paper): Welcome, my subjects, to the ISC church! Our first order of...bi...zi...niiii...oh, business! Dammit, Jim! Stop spamming all over my speeches!! Anyway, the first order of business. Oh, almighty God, we give you thank-

At this moment, one member of the crowd takes a gun and blows his head off.

Yrrej -- For Christ's sake, you're supposed to wait until after I finish my speech before you do that!

Rufus -- 'Call this a cult? There's hardly any blood on the walls. Where's the massive posters of pink unicorns and random Marxists? We didn't have to bring our own suicide weapons, did we? And what about snacks? Where's the snacks?'

. -- We're a budget cult, you only have to hand over half your soul and the blood soaked robes are second hand.

Rufus -- 'Meh, that sucks. Guess I'd better pop over to the convienience store and get us some snacks. Back in a tick.' He slipped out the back door.

Yrrej -- well, my fellow cultists, would anybody care to read a sermon from the book of the mighty Sophia?...

No response...

fine....I'll do it. Okay...the book of Cobain, book 6, verse 16. And so, Kurt said to Geffen, "I aint takin your shit no more!", And proceeded to blow his brains out. Amen.

Rufus -- Rufus reappeared through the back door carrying several bags of cheap, mass-produced snacks. "Got the stuff." he said. "Now, who exactly are we worshipping here, and why do they want us to blow our own brains out?"


THE END
Insane Suicidal Cult has been deemed "finished" and has reached its natural conclusion, please don't continue it. If you disagree with this please take up the matter on this UnProvise's talkpage.
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