User:Orian57/UnProvise/UPR/Explosion Man

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UnProvise Name: Explosion Man
Description: This is the story of a guy who loves explosions, that's it. Don't go expecting a plot or coherent storyline, that'll all be found in Explosion Man 2, maybe.
Contributors: Qua + Orian57 + BlueYonder
Who Is Who: Qua plays Explosion Man (obviously), Orian plays the librarian, BlueYonder plays the hippie


Explosion Man -- The Explosion Man walked along the fine line we call the urban sidewalk of the city, he obviously had a buff body and a bad smell that would rival france. On him was an RPG which he would use to blow stuff up. He did not know any english, he did not know anything. All the Explosion Man knew, was how to blow stuff up. He walked up to an occupied car and began to shoot his RPG at it, making it explode. He said "uuuuuggghhhh" as an obvious sign that the explosion made him happy.
Librarian -- Across the street from the carnage there was a library out of which steped a man in a grey suit. He looked at Explosion Man with nothing short of disdain. Silently he creept across the street, avoiding screeming pedestrians and fleeing children. "Excuse me." He said in a quiet controlled voice. "If you would, please, could you try and keep the noise down? There are people trying to read."
Explosion Man -- Not being able to understand any word he said, he took out his Rocket Launcher and fired at the guy, shouting "bbbboooooooommmmm".That's the only english he ever learnt.
Librarian -- With surprising agility for a man of his age the librarian rolled out of the way of the rocket propelled grenade. He turned around to see what damage had been done. There was a giant crater in the road where he'd been standing. More than this, though, Explosion Man had been standing too close to his own explosion and had been sent flying backwards through a shop window, almost commically landing inside a wedding dress. "I say," the librarian says, still working under the impression that Explosion Man was simply stupid, rather than foreign, "could you not fire that rocket around here, it does makes a lot of noise. I shall warn you now that if you do not stop I shall have to employ the use of force."
Explosion Man -- Out of disgrunteled anger and surprise, Explosion Man shoots up a random building that just happenes to be the library. He then let's out an "ugh" as he feels relieved for the first time in seconds.
Hippie -- Quite suddenly, a hippie, looking glazed and not all there, swaggered around the street corner and waddled up to the Librabrian. "Hey, don't harrass this guy, man." he drawled at the librarian. "He's just expressing himself, man. Respect his right to freedom of speech, man."
The librarian -- The librarian, who had been too dumbstruck to move untill the hippie arrived, suddenly came round. In an uncontrollable range he killed the trippin' hippie with one forceful martial arts move and then seemed to melt out of his grey suit into a ninja cloak. He withdrew his sword and held it against Explosion Man's neck, threateningly. Being a gentleman he delivered one last plea for the violence to stop: "Sir you have proven your disregard for culture and civility, please -- I beg of you -- put down your arms and leave this place, so we can read in peace and quiet. If you do not, I'm afraid I shan't be held responsible for my actions."
Hippie -- Suddenly, the hippie — or rather, his corpse — stood up as a zombie and wrapped its poisonous claws aroud the neck of the librarian, tightening its grip as it drawled in a grated voice "Respeeeect, maaaaan." Librarian -- Quickly and with extreame disrespect the librairian beheaded the zombie and sliced the lurching Explosion Man in half. He then returned to the smouldering ruin that was his library and began to rebuild.

THE END
Explosion Man has been deemed "finished" and has reached its natural conclusion, please don't continue it. If you disagree with this please take up the matter on this UnProvise's talkpage.

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