User:Orian57/UnProvise/UPR/Downtime at the Death Star

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UnProvise Name: Downtime at the Death Star
Description: Ever wondered what went on onboard the Death Star during those long days you never saw in the movies? Well, so did we! This UnProvise doesn't follow the traditional style of an UnProvise and is written more like an UnScript...which is fine, just keep it consistent.
Contributors: Flumpa + Cajek + Qua + Nacky + DJ Irreverent
Who Is Who: Flumpa plays Stormtrooper 1, Cajek plays Stormtrooper 2, Nacky plays French Droid, Qua plays Stormtrooper 3, DJ Irreverent plays the poorly thought out "Uncle Stormy" and other minor characters


The formatting in this UnProvise has deteriorated from UnScript style with speech marks to speech mark-less. Someone needs to make it a bit more consistent, cause I'm sure not going to!

Stormtrooper 1 -- (Sitting at a table with two other Stormtroopers, deck of cards in hand) "You up for another round of Go Fish?", he says with a grin.
Stormtrooper 2 -- "Are you using your special deck or are you gonna play straight this time?"
Stormtrooper 1 -- "Ah, you're just a sore loser. Just 'cause I've won sixteen times in a row don't mean I'm cheating."
Stormtrooper 2 -- "I guess I feel sorry for you, seeing as how ol' Vader still doesn't know it was YOU who blew up the Death Star."
Stormtrooper 3 -- "Woah, Woah... you blew up the Death Star?"
Stormtrooper 1 -- "Fuck, the womprat's out of the bag," he says with a sigh. "If either of you say ANYTHING, I will PERSONALLY make you the next Alderaan!"
French Droid -- "Bon jour, Monsieur." (drops feather duster) "Oops!" (bends over to retrieve it)
Stormtrooper 3 -- "Damn that droid's got a fine ass!" says the stormtrooper.
Uncle Stormy (There is probably a long and convoluted story behind this character except I can't really be bothered explaining it until the spinoff starts) -- Wot wot!
Stormtrooper 2 -- "That droid's ass is AMAZING! It almost made me forget... that you blew up the death star in that barroom brawl or whatever it was. And Uncle Stormy, you are the most worthless droid ever. Why did I buy you?"
Stormtrooper 1 -- (Points a finger at Stormtrooper 2) "Hey, you know perfectly well that I can't resist big red buttons!"
Uncle Stormy -- (to Stormtrooper 2) "Because I gave yo momma-board exactly what it wanted!"
Stormtrooper 2 -- (laughs, pats Uncle Stormy, the insultdroid, on the back, and points his finger at Stormtrooper 1) "Didn't you also cut off Luke Skywalker's hand? The rebellion's not gonna like THAT."
Stormtrooper 3 -- "The Rebellion is going to like that, you idiot. We work for the Empire, of course they are not going to like that!"
Stormtrooper 1 -- (to Stormtrooper 2) "That was Vader, dumbass. Get your facts straight."
Stormtrooper 3 -- (to Stormtrooper 2) "Yeah dumbass!"
Uncle Stormy -- (points at sign on chest clearly stating "Cockney-British-humourdroid") "I don't get paid enough for this, where's the door for the Breastar?"
Stormtrooper 1 -- (gestures to the airlock) "Right there, buddy boy!"
Uncle Stormy -- (Walks out door NEVER TO RETURN!!!!111!!1!11111!!!1 until ratings demand it)
French Droid -- "Oops!" (continues dusting and tidying up)
Stormtrooper 3 -- (to the French Droid) "I'm a stormtrooper, you're a french droid. Let's rent a hotel room."
Stormtrooper 1 -- "Hey, kid, I called her! Back off!"
Stormtrooper 3 -- (to Stormtrooper 1 while pulling out a pistol) "I believe she's mine."
Stormtrooper 1 -- (reaches for pistol) "I BELIEVE I CAN FLYYYY!"
East-German droid -- "NEIN! FURZT YOU PAY! 50% OV FUR ZE TWO!"
French Droid -- (continues tidying up) "Oops!" (drops feather duster again and bends over to retieve it)
East-German droid -- "NEIN! She ist caught on ze infinite loop."
Stormtrooper 1 smacks the French Droid's ass.
Stormtrooper 1 -- "Yeah, bitch!"
French Droid -- (slaps stormtrooper 1) "Oops!"
East-German droid -- (spanks Stormtrooper 1's ass, Its hairy armpit clearly visible (don't ask how)) "I thinks we can come to ze deal..."
Stormtrooper 1 accidently pulls the trigger on his pistol. The shot ricochets off the floor and walls.
Stormtrooper 1 -- (puts arms over head and dives under the table) "Duck and cover!!"
French Droid -- (stands there stunned by sudden dispatch of weapon) "Oops!"
Stormtrooper 3 -- "WTF did you do to my droid?" says the stormtrooper
Stormtrooper 1 -- (turns to the East-German droid) "You asshole!" (shoots at the droid)
French Droid -- (continues to tidy up and gets a tub ready for Darth Vader's impending arrival for his bathtime) "Merde."
Stormtrooper 1 -- (looks confused) "Say whaaa?"
East-German droid -- NEIN you will need ze bigger gun to take down ze 1984 weight lifting und ze leg shaving world champion!
French Droid -- I can't believe you lost the war! Blew up ze Death Star and tried to kill the East German Droid. Oops! Oui Oui, deux caffee, s'il vous plait. (drops feather duster again) Oops! (bends down to retrieve it).
Stormtrooper 3 -- "What, the Death Star was already blown up? Then where are we now, how are we even here then?" says the stormtrooper
French Droid -- "Merde. Je ne sais pas?" (shrugs) (looks around at Death Star being somewhat in a shambles) "It appears zat someone haz blown it up, oops!"
Jamaican Droid -- Shit mon! Dats som wacked up shit mon?! (lies down on hammock to smoke joint) I is love dis paradox mon!

THE END
Downtime at the Death Star has been deemed "finished" and has reached its natural conclusion, please don't continue it. If you disagree with this please take up the matter on this UnProvise's talkpage.
UNP Merited UnProvisation
Downtime at the Death Star was awarded an UnProvise Merit on 3 June 2008 and is considered to be a great UnProvise. It's totally sexy and has awesome legs.



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