The third house on the street looks interesting. It looks like a giant tree. “It’s like Robin hood’s secret tree.” You think to yourself because that is a typical and modern thought for a ten year old boy born in the twenty-first centaury to think.
As you walk up the cobbled path a rabid rabbit hops out in front of you. “You’re gonna get faaaat.” It warns before hopping away again. Not in the least put off by the bunny’s threat you carry on up the cobbles and the door seems to get smaller and smaller. You crouch down and knock.
Just as you’re about to decide that nobody’s home a little man in a green pointy hat opens the door. He looks mad.
“Trick or treat!?” You smile playing out the act, until now most people have simply dumped some black-jacks in your environmentally-friendly-reusable-Co-Op bag and then shut the door.
“Oh fuck! What do I do now?” You think, startled at this little mans rudeness. “Umm...” you murmur.
“Tell me a joke dick-head.” The mean little man orders.
“Why--” you start before the gnome cuts in with.
“To get to the other side.”
“Ok, umm… Knock, knock!”
“Doctor Who.” He answers.
“What’s smelly and rotten and stumbles around graveyards?” You offer.
“Your face! Now come on” He says grabbing the leg of your costume and dragging you inside “I’ll teach you how to trick properly.”
Three days later you are found half-drunk behind a bar in Soho as a smelly little man in a green hat draws boobs on your top.