User:Orbhunterx/Secret Nazi Moon Base

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Secretive Nazi Lunar Facilities.
“I now see it is a good time to talk of peace and working together for the betterment of all Americans.”
~ President Barack Obama on Lunar Nazis


The Horrible Truth... The Nazi's Really Final Solution! Kaboom

It is largely unknown that as World War II was being brought to a fitting conclusion, specially selected few within the Nazi Party left unseen for their hidden base in Antarctica. Within a year, an elite corp of perfect Nazi males and females set off for the Moon, establishing a Secret Nazi Moon Base in 1945. Thousands of frauleins and stormtroopers relocated and began building to one day soon begin a Fourth Reich. Adolf Hitler and his chosen successors got busy for years, glaring down at the blue-green Earth like a hungry wolf watching a grazing sheep. As the years wore on, two were selected to return to Earth and communicate back when the time was ripe to strike, Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi. Since the Moon is such a harsh mistress, the vacationing Germans chose the land of plenty, America, as the fatted-calf, landing at Holloman Air-force base for beer and sausage, which they all greatly enjoyed.


Cassiopeia Images Reveal Swastika On The Moon

edit Mentally-Superior Genetically-Perfect Nazis



Even before the first booted goose-step landed on the Moon, Nazi plotters drew up plans to transform themselves into Mentally-Superior Genetically-Perfect uber-beings. This breeding program took in the most talented fraulein hotties in Deutschland, coupling them with the most pumped up male specimens of Germany. The nouveau Nazi stormtroopers were to be drop dead gorgeous to all lessors. And so it was, the Mentally-Superior Genetically-Perfect Nazis were progenerated, and in turn progenerated so much that the Moon swarms with them. (For explicit details on their ungermane mating and procreation techniques, see YouPorn.)

“Experimental Lunacy - After undergoing radical gene therapy to render his libido quite deadly, a Nazi Moon man finds he has big problem on his hands. His penis grows alarmingly long, and he cannot stop its action, so has to sling it over his shoulder under his coat. It begins winding around his neck and choking him, like a python, so he visits Dr Strangelove for help. "Zee, Doctor?" he spits, opening his coat to reveal the alarming spectacle, "Vat shoudt I do?" " vill be quite popular vith ze frauleins!" the doctor laughed.”
~ Ministry of Gene Enhancement

edit Other Nations Involved


Holding Nazi flying saucers of doom.

It is unknown but rumored that Finland, and The Falkland Islands also have hidden bases on the Moon. When authorities in the USA were privately questioned why not even one rumor of of an American base proved true, it came as little surprise to those in the know that those inside NASA had been spending so much time and energy covering their own butts that they never got around to it. It also came as quite a blow that the mysterious aristocracy of Canada likewise suffered from the same lack of long term survivability. Hope remains alive that the brave country of Liechtenstein will come up with something useful.


A fleet of Nazi Haunebu4 Assault Cruisers, leave Moon on the Fuhrer's "diplomatic" mission to save the Earth.

edit Kinds of Saucerish Craft

Nazis from the Moon have made some rather radical technological breakthroughs, including several space ships poised to annihilate all life on Earth at the drop of a hat.

edit Defenses Against Mentally-Superior Genetically-Perfect Moon Nazis


Julia Dietze is Renate Richter!

The altered genes of moon Nazis have spawned buffed male "lady killers" of hunk proportions that would shame Arnold on a good day, while concurrently bestowing the females with stunningly jaw-dropping attributes that give a new meaning to the term blond bombshells. Gifted with extraordinary abilities to produce intense sexual orgasms the moon Nazis have the alarming potential to waylay the most lucrative businesses on Earth, the Porn and Prostitution industries. Otherwise, make no bones about it... they will gleefully try to kick your ass if you're not extremely lucky!

Note: In the event of an epic fail of these weapons to bring the mentally-superior genetically-perfect moon Nazis to their knees, just flash a bright smile, give them a knowing wink, and just keep talking; in other words... Don't Panic! Filibuster to try stalling until the cavalry arrives.

“Some come up and some come young. Live to love and give good tongue. Sit down get down in the sun. Rocket to the woman is on the one.”

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Secret Nazi Moonbase:

Disclaimer: Be it known that things in this article may be exaggerated or in fact have some basis of truth, this disclaimer and all editorial changes of this disclaimer should they come about, as well as any disclaimers regarding this disclaimer, are hereby inclusive of all temporal, spacial and ethical considerations, in this reality, other parallel dimensions, or realms beyond rational or irrational conception forthwith.

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