User:One-eyed Jack/Mail prostitute
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
A mail prostitute is a person who physically pleases mail for pay. The acts provided can include oral stimulation of the envelope, fondling with the hands -- either bare or with special gloves -- binding and beating of the package, and applying white-out to sensitive areas of the mail.
edit Who Are These People
Mail prostitutes are often retired or unemployed postal workers, who have become addicted to mail. Mail is on of the most addicting things and the habit is very hard to break, resulting in many active mail prostitutes who are often used by the same costumers regularly.
There is therefore little hope of stamping out mail prostitution.
edit See also
- Royal Mail
- Pushing the envelope