User:Officerzach

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edit Nickelback

Nickelback is a rock band from Canada, whose music is classified as rock,post-grunge, grunge-rock, post-grunge-rock, rock'n'roll rock, and generically-sounding-alternative rock. The band was formed in 1995 by "guitarist" and vocalist, Chad Kroegerinski. Chad was attending online courses through Harvard, taking such classes as Mediocre Music Composing, How to Treat the Bitches, and Money Management. During this time Chad met Ryan Peakeinski, who was also a "guitarist" and knew a very small amount about background vocal sounds, during a discussion on a forum board for the class Mediocre Music Composing, in which they were arguing what three guitar chords could be repeatedly played the most without anyone noticing. Chad then hired his cousin, Mike Krogerinski, to play bass. Chad had not yet even picked up a bass in his life, but after hard work and approximately four and a half minutes of lessons, Chad was able to play the bass well enough to perform with the band. Chad's distant friend-brother, Ryan Vikedalinski, joined the band on drums but was later replaced by Daniel Adairinski, when Ryan's ears would not stop bleeding after a tragic accident involving drum sticks to the ear drums, in attempts to drown out certain noises that he experienced during practice which he considered to be "excruciating." After leaving the band, Ryan earned praises throughout the rock community for his decision to "stop the reign of terror."

Nickelback as a band, has currently sold more than 50 million copies of their albums worldwide. Nickelback's fanbase appears to be largely occupied by the deaf, the unintelligent, and kids who "just don't know no better." During an interview with Alternative Press' lesser known sister magazine, U@U Press (Unexceptional and Uninspiring Press), lead "guitarist" Chad Krogerinski was quoted as saying about their fanbase, "Well, we were really just looking to reach out to those who have no real musical taste or enough brains to decide for themselves what they should listen to. We saw a great market through radio stations that play the same shit all the time and figured that was the key to success." Currently Nickelback's fan site, www.omgnickelbackrocks!.com, is run by a group of third graders, some of which have had the opportunity to put their lyrical skills to use for the band. In fact, 90% of Nickelback's 2005 album, "All the Right Reasons," was written by third graders.

in 2007 the band decided to take time off to "pursue other musical avenues," however, once realizing that it was impossible to expand on their current knowledge of musical theory, the band returned to touring and released the albums "Dark Horse" and "Here and Now." Both albums received critically acclaimed praise by the Department of Energy, for their ability to recycle many of their old songs for use on the new albums. This technique saved a lot of time and energy when the producer copied and pasted the music, and made just slight changes to the lyrics.

Nickelback is currently touring the US and teaching a seminar entitled, "Anyone can do it!" where they teach the average joe music and lyric writing techniques. The course is a week long but is usually over after the first day once people seem to start meeting or exceeding the bands musical talent. The course involves watching a monkey strum a guitar, and a lesson on the feminist movement, where the band advises to write lyrics that are the "complete opposite and most offending" to the ideals of the movement. Nickelback is also currently working on their latest album entitled, "Please, Someone Stop Us" set for release in 2014.

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