User:OMGPONIES/Jew Claw

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The Astacus Judea, or Jew Crab as it is commonly known, is a relative of the European Spider Crab. It is commonly named the Jew Crab for the Star of David like markings on its shell. It is believed to have originated as a military experiment in the early 1970's.

edit Physical characteristics

Jew crab armament

The most noticeable features is the Star of David like markings on its back, as well as the white and blue colourization. It is believed that this color is a natural color, which the crabs gain from their rich diet of blue oysters and white fish.

The jew crab comes in four different armament variations, as well as supporting crabs, that feature no on-shell turret.

The Support-To-Feed-Underlings Crabs - or STFU! CRABS! as they're commonly known, are a known delicacy in some regions of Israel, and are usually preferred over the 4 armed types of crabs which often prove harder to catch.

The average Jew Crab weight about 7 metric tons, and is approximately 4 meters across. This immense weight is balanced equally on its 8 legs, and with the Jew Crabs special pod-like feet, it can move in an almost undetectable way.

Jew crabs are known to carry messenger bags and wear sandals.

The right claw of the Jew Crab is usually 7-9 times as big as the left claw. This is commonly known as the evil claw.

edit Natural habitat

Usually in moist areas in the Golan Heights, Merkava motor pools, as well as IDF officer barracks near the Syrian border.

Jew Crabs have also been known to reside in central Kazakhstan where they cause crippling financial problems.

edit Behavior

Jew Crabs will pinch your bottom, so beware.

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