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Today's Featured Article -

Recently featured: Bluestocking - Town meeting

Yesterday's Featured Article - Bluestocking

Bluestocking01

The Bluestockings were a group of lesbians from the 18th century with foot fetishes who had a discreet code for recognising each other—wearing blue stockings—hence their society's title. Just like many other societies of the modern era, the group had certain criteria that were to be checked for and met during the prospective bluestocking's initiation ceremony: a prestigious education, literacy, a state of good birth, a substantial lot of money and some measure of political influence were always considered by the madams who admit new members, but these were not nearly as important as the possession of a vagina dentata, at least 10cm² of pubic hair, a sworn hatred of her husband, an apartment large enough to have an orgy in and a pair of blue stockings.

The founding of the society by "Queen of the Blues" Bessie Smith in 1748 was said to be a woman's answer to the ever-growing popularity of the Gentleman's Club, where respectable homosexual gentlemen would frolic and read newspapers. Other than doing dominatrix-related antics, the ladies would read the classics such as Virgil or Homer, discuss politics (local issues such as refuse collection lapses or corruption within the ranks of refuse collectors), and lament upon how awful Edward Gibbon was in the sack. (more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Italian Tanks, featured on 30 September 2013. See the featured version.
UnScripts:Waiting For Breivik 2: The Breifist, featured on 30 September 2012. See the featured version.
Australian Pink Floyd, featured on 30 September 2011. See the featured version.
Don't Feed the Ducks!!!, featured on 30 September 2010. See the featured version.
Roak Band - Teutonic Invasion, featured on 30 September 2009. See the featured version.

Did you know...

*...that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
  • ...that cats only pretend not to like to swim?
    • ...and that they like it even more while inside a burlap sack?
  • ...that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
  • ...that cats only pretend not to like to swim?
    • ...and that they like it even more while inside a burlap sack?
  • ...that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
  • ...that cats only pretend not to like to swim?
    • ...and that they like it even more while inside a burlap sack?
  • ...that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?

In the news

On this day...

Drunken knife fight

September 30: (Formerly) Lol-iday of Italy., Get in a Drunken Knife Fight Day, Pastafarian New Year.

  • 903 BC - The Game spins itself into existence and makes you LOSE!
  • 1399 - Burt Lancaster deposed Richard Burton to become Henry IV, King of England.
  • 1452 - First printed book, the Johann Gutenberg Bible followed closely by The Girls of Gutenberg Press and The Gutenberg Bible, lingerie edition.
  • 1677 - Lol-iday was first proclaimed on the planet of Italy.
  • 1679 - The last occurance of Lol-iday, due to the forced slavery of the Umpalepuanians by Caesar.
  • 1702 - First all female orgy is held in Greece.
  • 1813 - Battle of Bárbula: Simón Bolívar defeats Santiago Bobadilla in a drunken knife fight.
  • 1890 - HMS Bounceout, the first underwater vessel to be powered entirely on Orange juice was launched.
  • 1911 - Sir Barnabas Poleaxe discovers Belgium
  • 1924 - World Snooker Championship played in New York for the first time, Stock Market crashes afterward.
  • 1925 - Ski-jumping was born in Lithuania.
  • 1939 - Adolf Hitler and Josef Stalin get caught in a Chinese thumb-trap. Reconsider global strategy and make pact of non-agression accordingly.
  • 1941 - Adolf and Joe free themselves from the thumb-trap after exactly two years. Decide ass-kicking is on the cards again.
  • 1947 - The World Series, featuring New York Yankees and the Brooklyn Dodgers, is televised for the first time.
  • 1949 - The Berlin Airlift ends after millions of cubic feet of air were successfully transported to Berlin.
  • 1955 - James Dean gets drunk, tries to get in a knife fight with oncoming car.
  • 1984 - After Earths Transit of Mars The African Republic Upper Volta Changes it's name to Mars Volta
  • 1986 - The Welsh are scientifically proven to be Charles Darwin's missing link
  • 2000 - Lol-iday is celebrated in Paris. Rioting ensues.

See Also

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Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

Oh my god! There are no more days left! It's today or miss the boat to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!

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