"Apparently, this Wilde fellow thought he was me. Why, imagine the puffery! I offered him a friendly wager to the effect, but the deviously clever fellow pointed out that I had, at some point, pronounced gambling to be a venial sin. So I did what any decent God would do, and cast his everlasting soul into the pit, where the bounder shall remain in eternal torment forever. Ah, the delicious irony of it all."