Hi. I'm Necropaxx. No, that isn't my real name, and quite frankly, I'm a little disappointed you'd assume that. I am 19 years old, drop-dead gorgeous, and single. You do the math. I live in oppressively hot California, and dream of one day living in someplace cooler.
I've been on Uncyclopedia since the Spring of 2007 (otherwise known as the Golden Years) and I've written twelve featured articles and earned the Writer of the Month award in that time. I'm not very active any more, so don't expect a prompt reply for pretty much anything. I don't go on Sundays because that's the Sabbath. I am a religiousconservative, thereby making me unique on Uncyc. But I don't care, I love this place, even if you are all a buncha' commie pinko bleeding-heart liberals. I am not an administrator, but I still like helping the polite n00b who asks for it. I used to be one myself. No, really.
On the subject of writing, I have written a couple of original articles, but I'm better at doing rewrites. I like writing about generic subjects, like Toaster, Top hat, or Elevator, because I think encyclopedic articles that parody Wikipedia are the soul of the site. Not that "style articles" aren't funny, I just think encyclopedic prose is "da bomb." On a contradictory note, I love all of Cajek's articles. It should also be noted that if I have anything up for feature, I am completely incapable of writing anything during that time. It's very unfortunate. In conclusion, I love Uncyclopedia and so should you.•••Necropaxx(T){~}
Many eons ago, back when Uncyclopedia was nearly two years old, a certain IP was surfing the web. His friend came up to him, and lo, he said,
Hey check out this website it's funny, lol.
The IP typed in the address and hit [ENTER]. On the Main page he saw the featured article, Homeless nerds. The IP lolled loudly. "This is great!" he said. "I should make an account." And so NECROPAXX came to Uncyclopedia. The name Necropaxx was fashioned out of three parts: "Necro" means death, "Pax" means peace, and "X" marks the spot. "Whoa, that's deep," you say. "I know," says I.
Necropaxx began his career leaving Captain Obvious quotes on pages like Black Jesus and template spamming. Lame, I know, but Necropaxx didn't know any better. He got banned for a week by Famine. He appealed the ban and Famine said, quite reasonably, "STFUn00b!" and left him to wither and die.
Then something truly amazing happened. Instead of creating a sockpuppet to create a forum post that went something like "OMG I haet you guize you stingk I'm going hoem", Necropaxx took it like a good user. "The experience was truly life-changing," Necropaxx said later. "It turned me from an annoying n00b/vandal into a slightly less annoying but well-mannered n00bl3t. Thank you, Famine." Necropaxx later rescinded the "thank you, Famine" comment, saying, "Who am I kidding? I hate Famine."
After the ban was up, Necropaxx decided to write an article. Since he was Mormon, he put his energy into a Mormon article. After much blood, sweat, and tears, out came The Great Mormon-Catholic War. Don't read it, it's awful. But it was a brave start for the young lad. He wrote a supplementary article, Holy Cheese, that actually got featured later. One day, he read UnBooks:Gallows Humor, and tried to rip it off with UnBooks:Diary of a Fat Girl. It didn't work. At all. He was stagnated, but thanks to many reviews, Necropaxx got back on track and got Holy Cheese featured. He got better at writing and got two morefeatures, earning him a spot in the Hall of Shame. The rest, as they say, is history.
Golden Urinal You have been awarded this coveted Golden Urinal in recognition of having completed over 25 in-depthpee reviews. Thanks for the hard work. Now have a rehydrating drink, and get back to pissing - there are still articles out there that need your help, dammit!
MEDAL GIVEWISE SHOWN DOUBLEPLUSBIG AS AWARD IS PARTY HONOR
Woo! Yay, go you! Under User has decided that you are "quite a decent sort", which is apparently one of his highest terms of praise! This is therefore a good thing, and in accordance with this, he's throwing a party down the manhole to celebrate. Look at him go!
You're not invited though. Don't take it personally.
This userer is kool becasue of their shmarts. They comepleted Polystyrene Man's usrepage challenge on Uncyclopedia. thefiore I's is is gtheereofeore M'kool beudcause tehy got gjthot is it.
Hi there! This big ol' grin must mean this article is being reviewed by: •••Necropaxx(T){~} (While you're welcome to review it as well, you might like to consider GOING AWAY and REVIEWING SOMETHING ELSE).
(Also, if the review hasn't been finished within 24 hours of this tag appearing at {{{1}}} feel free to remove it and give Necropaxx a swift kick up the butt for being such a loser).
Going Down?
Necropaxx would like to thank you profusely for reading his article and actually liking it enough to vote For.
The picture on the right is exactly what you wouldn't see in an elevator. Sorry. :(
This user can be trusted with your deepest, darkest secrets.
This user pretends to be an awesome warrior from a mystical land, but is really a sad little nerd person. However, s/he takes comfort in the fact that you are too.
"Feeling any pain yet, Mrs. Davis?"
Necropaxx is delighted to thank you for your For vote on his recent rewrite, Antbortion.
Remember, kids, this is what happened to your would-be brother Jeffy. Go kick your parents for him, why don't you?
'Sincere Thanks'
Thank you very much for helping to make me August 2009's Writer of the Month.
This is hands down one of the best moments I've had on Uncyclopedia. And you helped make it possible. Thank you.
Necropaxx would very much like to thank you for uncovering who the realmurderer was. "If not for your 'elp, mon ami, I fear zat Monsieur Murderer might 'ave escaped." Double thanks for making this my tenth feature! Woo!
Hot diggity, boy!
You caught that fish so good that Necropaxx is gonna thank you! "Thank you." ~ Necropaxx
This user does not have a user page at Wikipedia because he or she thinks that they take things way too seriously over there.
This user pretends to be an awesome warrior from a mystical land, but is really a sad little nerd person. However, s/he takes comfort in the fact that you are too.
Writer of the Month August 2009
Uncyclopedian of the Month December 2009
Potatochopper of the Month March 2008
Reviewer of the Month January 2010
Useless Gobshite of the Month June 2010
Sir Necropaxx GUN WOTM POTM VFH [Prayers and Curses] 
