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An unusually large, half-baked Italian spaghetti dish. Named after the backwoods creature who stumbled onto a small village and helped his cousin/wife become the leader by means of upstaging the Pope and other Roman deities with high collars, shirts, hats and short tempers. A Bastardoni can often be mistaken for someone who speaks fluent Italian and the man of the house. Often found trying to climb up the social ladder of Sauron. A Bastardoni will call himself Ultra Lord because Lord Royal Royal is already taken. See also Godzilla. He's just having problems, he can't deal with the carcuses anymore. All the people! ARRRRRGGGHHHH!!! Get him his PROZAC quickly!