User:Mykell/Worst 100 Things Rick Astley Is Never Gonna Do

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The list of all-time worsts:


Rick Astley is Never Gonna...

edit 100 - 91

100. Give you up.

99. Let you down.

98. Run around and desert you.

97. Make you cry.

96. Say goodbye.

95. Tell a lie and hurt you.

94. Sell nude photos of you to Hustler.

93. Pee on the toilet seat and then not wipe it up.

92. Steal a police car.

91. Impersonate a monkey.

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90. Play Poker on a Sunday.

89. Buy pornography.

88. Read Harry Potter.

87. Jump up and down screeching like a madman on acid about how he's the rular of the planet Bumcheese and that we should all be his fearful minions.

86. Spray acid from his mouth when frightened or agitated.

85. Spontaneously combust when in the presence of the Queen.

84. Perform a self-prostate examination.

83. Suddenly bellow, "I'm Brian Blessed!" in the middle of a funeral.

82. Prematurely ejaculate whenever the word, "Spangles" is uttered.

81. Come back as a zombie.

80. Perform self fellatio.

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80. Dress up in a Maid's outfit and dance the Macerena.

79. Light his own farts.

78. Give a reacharound to an Austrian Yak.

77. Star in a commercial for dog food.

76. Hit on that hot blonde in the apartment next to yours.

75. Sell your jewellery on eBay.

74. Let the door hit your arse on the way out.

73. Let your arse hit the door on your way out.

72. Vote for McCain.

71. Move to Canada.

edit 70 - 61

70. Develop sexual fantasies about Queen Elizabeth II

69. Sixty Nine.

68. Vote for the UK in the Eurovision Song Contest just to see what happens.

67. Take two sugars in his coffee.

66. Eat anything from McDonalds.

65. Get piles.

64. Shoot compressed air up his backside.

63. Use a photo of his wife's recently deceased mother as an ashtray.

62. Email all of his personal information and bank details to a Nigerian Prince offering $120,000,000,000.

61. Impersonate Glen Quagmire.

edit 60 - 51

60. Be a little bitch.

59. Become a kitten huffer.

58. Eat at your house, compliment you on a fine meal and then smash everything in your living room with a ballpin hammer.

57. Use a little girl as a human shield against a Mexican cradling a pig.

56. Kill his dog while doing the Cha-Cha.

55. Get Swine Flu

54. Make out with your brother.

53. Slip marijuana into the brownie mixture that's intended for the Scout bakesale.

52. Stub his cigarette out on your forehead.

51. Watch the movie, 'Johnny English'.

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50. Go from 0 to 60 in 6.4 seconds.

49. Be an interesting appetiser before the main course.

48. Wipe his dobber on the curtains after sex.

47. Be an interesting fashion accessory that you can wear on a date.

46. Be Rickrolled.

45. Masturbate furiously to monkeyporn.

44. Fart in the presence of Paul McCartney.

43. Get those really stubborn stains out.

42. Be digital ready.

41. Touch himself, even when going for a piss.

edit 40 - 31

40. Put out another album.

39. Hum really loudly during a funeral service.

38. Fart really loudly just when a snooker player is about to complete a 147 break.

37. Blame it on the boogie.

36. Watch Big Brother.

35. Break down and require a van and four men to get him out of the house.

34. Develop an unhealthy interest in penis extensions and Austin Powers.

33. Have a full frontal lobotomy so that he thinks like Nigel Parsons.

32. Cut off his penis and mail it to himself.

31. Fantasise about the Queen Mum.

edit 30 - 21

30. Eat nothing but Cheesy Wotsits for 17 years.

29. Rickroll you.

28. Watch 'Delta Force' 167 times.

27. Play 'Second Life

26. Pay for a £152 bill using only 2p pieces.

25. Become the lead singer of Limp Bizkit.

24. Put out a decent album.

23. Sing a song that actually sounds different than "Never Gonna Give You Up" or "Together Forever".



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edit 10 - 1










1. Sell all of his possessions on eBay and then go on a 'self-finding' hiking holiday to a nearby Communist country that has a penchant for kidnapping and murdering 80's UK pop sensations.

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