This page is an archive. The contents have been moved from another page for reference purposes only, and should be preserved in their current form. Discussion or voting on this page is not current. Any additions you make will probably not be read.
I think you're off to a good start with your FAS page, but I do have a few suggestions as far as what you've already written is concerned. First off, I felt that the history section ended quite abruptly. I think that sections needs a little expanding and some possible revision in places. Secondly, I'm not a fan of the really long stretches of parenthesis. I would convert those into citations or shorten them. Parenthesis are meant to be complementary to the sentence they follow and yours tend to be more like a sentence of their own. Incorporating them into the text or simply making them into references would be a good idea. Otherwise I like it so far! (sorry that took so long!) --SirSF13(Talk)GUNWotMRotMFBotMVFHSKMaj.ΥΣΣ14:42 EST 7 July, 2010
Listen up guys
Yo bro. The same guy who left the original on that also left one a long time ago which I kept as is and then expanded around and under it. Here it is if you haven't seen it. This guy is proving to be a valuable starter of pages! Nice work on yours. Aleister12:00 11 7
How did you know?
And what was I even going to ask you before I wandered off with my web browser window open to this headline? O_o Do you know? Can you read minds? ~ Lyrithya*shifty eyes*(words) (actions) -- 20100713 - 03:44 (UTC)
Once, many years ago, having 40 featured articles seemed an untouchable goal - a mystical, far-off land that none would ever reach. These days, it seems almost passé, as Mhaille has joined Modusoperandi in that territory, and Hyperbole (counting works by his various drunken sockpuppets) is half a feature away from becoming the fastest person yet to reach that magical figure.
We asked them all for quotes, and Mhailleexclusively told us: ""Go eat more shit, fuckers"...obviously I am excited to have reached the BIG 4-0, and am delighted that enough of my peers deem the quality of my work good enough to have reached that figure, although I have to say I'm a little pissed that at least 10 other of my articles are feature-worthy and are constant overlooked (lengthy bans will ensue, I'm sure), I am equally as proud of my featured images, as well as many of my other contributions that I hope that my peers feel have augmented the work of others. That I am still here after five long years, and still contributing says something about Uncyclopedia itself. What that is, I wouldn't like to speculate. But sometimes you have to in order to accumulate. Apparently." Which is such a long quote we're going to need at least one blatant filler box in the right-hand panel. Bastard.
Meanwhile, Modusexclusively told us "It's not that myself and Mhaille have written so very many great and fantastic pages that have, and will continue to, entertain the people for years to come. It's just that Mhaille did. "I" am one of his many sockpuppets. He writes as "Modusoperandi" when he needs a page without a "foreign" accent. Look around. There are a bunch more Mhaille sockpuppets here, too. Hyperbole, for one. Mhaille is like a wet Mogwai." Which is more concise, and therefore OK.
Finally, Hypeexclusively commented: "I'd like to say thank you to Uncyclopedia for voting to feature my many excellent, high-quality articles, including the drunken insistence that you accept a diseased poodle, the song about having sex with sporting goods, and the blatantly racist tirade about having to wait too long for a Pee Review. Writing 39.5 features has been literally the most important accomplishment I will ever have in my life. I look forward to continuing to service each and every one of you in the future." Which was nice of him.
So, the burning question now has to be: who will be first to 50? Modus obviously has the lead, but Mhaille is writing in greater volume than he has for some time, and if Hype keeps up the pace, he's probably a good bet. But they're not the only candidates - Sog is coming up the rails rapidly, and could reach the 40 mark even quicker than Hype - could he overtake the lot of them? The only thing certain is that with these guys around, Uncyc should be assured of some half-decent articles amongst the dross.
World Cup over - Romartus struggling for UnNews inspiration
The climax to the World Cup may have been a little ugly, unsatisfying and under-whelming (hmm, sounds familiar somehow), but it raises a question so far not addressed by the mainstream media, namely "what is Romartus going to write UnNewses about now?"
Suspicions abound that the Tour De France is passing him by, he seems far too English to care about the various draft and transfer shenanigans in the NFL and NBA and the like, and as the only story to emerge from golf's Open Championship so far is Tiger Woods changing his putter (wow, someone hold me back), that seems unlikely to unleash his inner news-hound. With a worrying lack of global sporting tournaments on the horizon, will we have to wait another 4 years for the next Romartus article splurge? Stay tuned to UnNews to find out!
23:47, 14 July 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 188.8.131.52 (Talk) with an expiry time of 6 months (Oh, shut up for about half a year, will you? Thanks, dear.)
15:47, 13 July 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) resurrected Under user (Talk | contribs) (a song originally written for Celine Dion? Have you no standards?)
14:47, 13 July 2010 Flammable (Talk | contribs) blocked ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 294 seconds (CUZ I MISS U BABY AND I DUN WANNA MISS A THING.)
14:39, 13 July 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Under user (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (Don't want to cloooose my eyes, don't want to faaaaaall asleep.)
06:18, 13 July 2010 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Keeh69 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks (I block with the power of a thousand vuvuzelas)
19:16, 12 July 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 184.108.40.206 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day (you can't even spell "racistic" properly it's "RASISTICS")
01:01, 12 July 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 220.127.116.11 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite (Only because I can't appoint you an admin.)
Biopic of the Week
Fnoodle was the UnSignpost's first ever paperbot, something we could frankly do with more of. One of the many creations of fiendish evil genius Dr. Skullthumper, it also managed to singlehandedly upset approximately two-thirds of the wiki by running a huge spellcheck operation, maliciously changing "teh" to "the" on every single page - which seemed to put an awful lot of panties in a bunch, judging by teh number of complaints on Skull's talk page in the aftermath.
The Adventures of Baron Ringpiece were composed as a series of short tales, published between 1840 and 1848 by William “Wacky” Thackeray, better known for Vanity Fair Magazine, and his novels Penispenispenis and The Virginans, and details the life and adventures of Redman Barry O'Malley.
Thackeray always considered the work to be unfinished, and had intended to add several more chapters, turning the tale from one where the hero works towards success to one where he gains his dreams only to lose them.
10:04, 9 July 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) changed block settings for Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day (account creation disabled) (I really don't do this as often as I should)
Ya, before it gets featured, and it's well on its way, why don't you expand it a little per Puppy's ideas. This would bring it up a couple of notches into "very good" territory. Nice work! Aleister 23:44 17 7
Just wanted to say well done. I laughed myself silly. Best and most wrong feature in a long time. Myocardialinfarction 12:49, July 21, 2010 (UTC)
Thank hou for your vote on Rolex, putting the time of day onto the main page. That was a fun one to write. Thanks again!!! Aleister 2:32 21 7
That the sort of thing you're after? • Puppy's talk page • 00:40, June 5, 2009Tuesday, 06:15, Jul 20 2010 UTC
You like sickipedia? I don't know if I should tar and feather you, or wait for the Elders to arrive. Shnifasuku-'ael-Ra awaits, young starfly.--M'su Carencro - Talk - Contributions - Blag 15:45, July 20, 2010 (UTC)
I dislike sickipedia about as much as I dislike conservapedia. One of them is full of sick, racist, sexist, homophobic jokes written by morons who couldn't work out how to complete a 1x1x1 Rubik's cube, and the other is sickipedia. • Puppy's talk page • 00:40, June 5, 2009Tuesday, 21:28, Jul 20 2010 UTC
That bastard child of Uncyclopedia and WikiNews, UnNews, is in full-on whoring mode. Tired of being relegated to the bilge hold of Uncyc, staff have collectively and to a man, woman or it, decided to resort to the time-honored tradition of whoring themselves for attention.
The Newsroom, home to nefarious plots and odd ideas, has once again become an active core of resistance against Uncyc's unofficial policy of ignoring us.
Always leading edge, UnNews is acquiring a stable of notable personalities for a new series of Uncolumns called "Reductio ad Hitlerum", a guest column that invites persons of note to do an article for us, usually under threat of blackmail. Discussion here, first RaH column here by guest Sarah Palin.
The most exclusive and coveted award on Uncyclopedia, the Mhaille award for excellence, has been presented for only the 14th time in 4 years, and the first time in first time in a year, to the suitably humbled RabbiTechno.
The award is, unusually on vote-happy Uncyclopedia, not decided on by voting, but is bestowed at the sole discretion of feature-monster, bureaucrat, whoring legend and token Liverpool fan Mhaille, according to his own criteria. Looking down the list of previous winners - Shandon, ENeGMA, Tompkins, Zombiebaron, Prettiestpretty, Savethemooses and the rest, it's pretty clear that the good Rabbi is a) in good company, and b) not going to be here much longer.
06:03, 22 July 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked 18.104.22.168 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks (Cyberbully - also apparently believes women to have penises and is thus either aged under six years or is a Lady Gaga fan. Either way, unsuitable for Uncyclopedia)
08:04, 19 July 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 22.214.171.124 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month (returning blankist. Nice to see you again chap.)
06:06, 17 July 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 126.96.36.199 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite (I get my dubious software from Synaptic package manager, thank you.)
01:45, 17 July 2010 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked 188.8.131.52 (Talk) with an expiry time of 6 months (yo article so fat)
Old-school featured article of the week
A shopping list purports to be a simple item used to detail all items required on a given shopping trip. However, recent scientific studies have revealed its true purpose: it is a key element in a game of oneupmanship between couples.
The lists are carefully compiled in a secret code known only to one half of the couple, the objective being to confuse, baffle, and otherwise annoy the other half to the point of submission. The ultimate aim is to get the other half to admit to being an abject failure, and to concede intellectual superiority in the relationship indefinitely, or at least until next Tuesday.
Cajek ban of the week brings you - Cajek's first ban!
15:06, 20 September 2007 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 hour (When an admin archives a VFD, voting is closed.)
Well guys, its been exactly 5 billion years since I last did a newsletter and I thought doing one would be a good way to get everyone back into the fold for August. Big things on the horizon for August for Upsilon Sigma Sigma.
First thing's first: Welcome to our newest brothers, Maniac1075 and Happymonkey39! Hopefully you guys will stick around and become regular contributors to our little project here!
Secondly, unfortunately there wasn't really a July collaboration. That's partly my fault from being absent most of the month because of work. The June collaboration, Taco, that got roughly finished and reviewed around mid-July will be our collaboration for both months. Go ahead and head on over to the collaboration page to vote on whether we send the article to mainspace or not and be sure to nominate an article for the que, also found on the collaboration page.
Third, some asshole (cough MadMax) redirected weird to odd, but bad news for him; we're doing weird as our collaboration for August anyways. This one is going to be epic guys, like Tim Burton epic. I'd like an 'all hands on deck' turnout for this one. We'll begin sometime around August 1 or second. I was thinking the approach for the article should be from the perspective of a high school misfit who's unaware how weird he is describing other kids as being weird. or something... Once the collaboration page is up and running we'll hash it out on the discussion page.
Lastly, and I know I constantly pound this, we all need to start doing requested articles individually. This is supposed to be a big part of USS, but our frat has morphed into mainly a collaboration group. Lets try and focus on those individual requested articles over the next few months.
Looking forward to ramping this thing back into gear with you guys in August!
TV Tropes is a feature! So I guess, even though I disowned it, I should thank you for your vote on VFH. Thanks! SirMacManiaGUN—[21:14 29 Jul 2010]
Thanks for the help! Hope to see you around for the August article
--Sf1302:09 EST 2 Aug, 2010
Contest today, August 2nd (U.S. time) or 3rd (civilized world time)
Happymonkey called for a writing contest which will start at 2:00 UTC (10 p.m. eastern time in the United States and other weird countries). Contestents will give each other an exact name of an article at app. 9:59 eastern time, and then we will write until 11:15 (3:15 UTC). We need at least one judge who will look at all the articles, say nay, or yay, or something, and tell us whatever they want to. Please sign up on Happymonkeys talk page, as participant or judge(s), and then we can pair people up around 9:30 eastern and let them know who they will give their page title to. (Inspired by DrSkullthumper's contest of a month or so ago). Aleister 16:05 2 8
It's pointy sticks. And a word of advice, i know your currently my enemy, but since you made that picture i feel as if i must give you a sign of gratitude. Mention shanking and shanks. Oh you made the template too...fine another hint. Write a "history" section, and how it evolved from sticks to pointy metal on sticks to maybe even pointy medal on guns...which were made of sticks..
Anyways there are some tips from a member of PEEING...i like reviews, this is sort of a pre-piss...call it a Pre-cum if you wish. Again good luck! --Happymonkey39Dah Meme Master02:52, August 3, 2010 (UTC)
It's new and it's news! It's the latest UnSignpost!
Yes, folks, it's actual news this week. We know, next week will see normal service resumed. However: following a forum discussion on the dump that impressively managed to avoid any realdrama, it has been decided that, to avoid any articles being deleted without a proper window for debate, all nominations on VFD will remain open for a minimum of one day.
Further to that, the minimum score required for deletion is in the process of being clarified, so that either a score of at least +5 in favour of deletion will be required before the trigger-happy admins fire up their huffing devices, or 5 keep votes will automatically exempt an article from deletion. One of those. Probably. The number 5 seems certain to be involved, whatever the outcome.
Hopefully, this will ensure that BUTT POOP is never deleted again. At least, such is our understanding.
Sorry about that. We will now follow this with an article with no relation to news whatsoever, to try and make it up to you.
Those with a passing interest in sports might notice that Uncyc's never-popular Fantasy Football league is about to embark on its second season, and has begun the draft process necessary to create the teams that will be taking part.
So far, the results have surpassed the expectations of all except noted optimist Bradaphraser. Three days in, and seven of the record fourteen competitors have picked a single player each, making this the slowest process since BP started trying to cap that goddamn oil leak.
This year's competition promises to be more open than the last, including as it does Joe9320, who admits to knowing nothing about the sport, preferring AFL, and noted British namby-pamby "soccer" fan UU, who has somehow agreed to become an Indianapolis Colts fan for the duration of the season. Hence his adding a picture of what he is assured is the awesomePeyton Manning into this very article. With the likes of the here-one-week-gone-for-a-month Gerrycheevers also involved in the process, it could well end up taking long enough to be ready by the start of the 2011-12 season.
07:55, 3 August 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Ethine (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1000 seconds (I'm seeing the words "Added category!" when I sleep now)
14:44, 29 July 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 184.108.40.206 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks (I'm sure Emma is a really nice girl when you get to know her. Ask her out for some coffee or something. And when you guys fuck, don't post about that here either.)
00:14, 28 July 2010 Flammable (Talk | contribs) blocked 220.127.116.11/16 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 days (I got bored, so I decided to block 2/3 of Norway. Bug an admin in IRC and they'll unblock you, maybe.)
Biopic of the Week
Some user was just some user who created Uncycloversity, Unquotable, and had the world's greatest departure message from Uncyclopedia. Despite only having been at Uncyclopedia long enough for everyone to cry when he left, Some user brought a plethora of knowledge to Uncyclopedia. He taught us all how to find our inner sockpuppet and be humble, the former of which has duped countless users into earning lengthy bans and the latter of which was laughed at out of confusion and then soon forgotten. He also taught us all about the laws that protect one's anonymity on the internet, reminding us that the internet is a safe, anonymous world. Fact: every time a person uses a proxy, God makes a rainbow.
Sexy 'Crat of the Week
Mhaille is quite possibly the reason why all sysops on Uncyclopedia are assumed to be sexy. Going by his South Park likeness here (have you added yours?), his excitingly furrowed brow speaks of smouldering hidden depths, his trim goatee teamed with his unkempt hair hints at the animal nature he so barely keeps in check, his narrowed eyes show he's always ready for action... Face it folks: the man drips sex. Being banned by him is actually illegal in twelve American states as being too erotic.