User:Mrthejazz/Regicide

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Reggie-miller-choke

A rare self-inflicted regicide. If only they had a name for that.

Regicide is the systematic murder of people with the first name of "Reggie." Those who would commit regicide make no distinction between those who are named exactly "Reggie" and those with variants of the name, such as Reginald, Regan, Regino, and Regis. Even girl variants, such as Regina, Reginaldia, and Reg-Reg-Regalda, the Ragu lovin' RegRar [1] are not safe from Regicide.

Misconceptions about Regicide

A common misconception is that the definition of regicide is the murder of royalty, such as a king, queen, or other ruler. The confusion comes from the fact that the root word "Reg" in Reggie means royalty. In the old days, people would upon meeting each other in the street, greet each other, share names, and then ask each other for the meaning of their names. When the Reggies of the world would share their names, oftentimes the passerby would murder him right there in the street, committing regicide in the hopes that they could become king. So often were people named Reggie murdered in this way, and so often did the murderers believe they were going to become king that, eventually the association between the word "regicide" and murdered kings stuck.

More often than not, regicide is rare, and when it does happen, it usually happens to famous Reggies. Fortunately, most of the famous Reggies in current existence are athletes, making them slightly more expendable, but also more entertaining. [2]

King-reginald stabbed

King Reginald of Shropshire participating in a Regicide.

There are rare times in history, however, when even less than famous Reggies are indiscriminately slaughtered. One of the more famous examples is of course the Holocaust. While it is common knowledge that most of the people slaughtered during the Holocaust were gays, jews or other minorities, the rare coincidence that all of them were named "Reggie", or a German variant of the name usually goes unnoticed.

The well known Diary of Anne Frank is an example of how this misconception came into existence. Anne is actually her middle name. Her full name is Regina Anne Frank, daughter of Reginald Otto Frank and Reginalda Edith Frank-Holländer. The family, well aware of how embarrassing the first name of Reginald is, and of how dangerous it was at the time to have the first name of Reginald, decided to use their middle names as their first name. Germany wasn't fooled. Before 1985, Frank had written all of this in her diary. However, after that time, the missing pages were purportedly ripped out by a crazed "A Flock of Seagulls" fan. While there were indeed, numerous copies of the diary in circulation at that time, the crazed fan managed to find all 250,000 copies, and then threatened all the heads of the big publishing companies that if they printed any more copies of the real version, he'd kill their families. [3]

Registvrawards

Another potential victim of Regicide.

See Also

  • Siouxicide (The systematic killing of the Sioux nation)
  • Jeanocide (The systematic killing of people named Jean)
  • homicide (Killing homosexuals)
  1. I made that last name up.
  2. Reggie King is doubly screwed.
  3. One final misconception is that regicide is the murder of a cash register. This is not the case, and even if it were, cash registers are not sentient and therefore cannot be murdered. Anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is an idiot.
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