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“Stoats are hawt.”
Because of this implied mandate from God, it is seen as OK, even kosher, to molest the stoat.
The stoat is one of the Category 2 Fuckable Animals because it has a spine. In fact, it is because of its long spine that the sex-you-upness of the stoat is assured.
The standard technique for molesting the stoat is to use both hands and make a vigorous downward rubbing motion against the creature's belly. Imagine that the stoat is your penis, and you are performing an act of self-pollution on it.
A more advanced method is to wear a pair of baggy pants, baggy enough to allow the stoat freedom of movement when it is placed in the confines of your nether regions. A gentle dancing motion can then be employed to encourage to the stoat to stimulate you. Please do not then lie belly-first on a bed, as has previously been done - that practise is now illegal.
Note: This article confines itself to describing the molesting of the stoat. More advanced sex play should only be attempted after consulting a Stoat Pimp.