From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of comedy, I will fear no article: For thou art with me."
- - Psalm #23 or something like that...
"Uncyclopedia? Often, while in my travels, I enter it. It can be a place, but it can also be a state of mind."
- - A Wise Man
"Is that one of them things on the internets?"
- - George Bush on Uncyclopedia
Though the wonderful
round flat world of the internet is vast, and constantly expanding through exploration, there is only one place that I wish to speak of more then any other, Uncyclopedia. A wonderful lush continent, filled with delicious fruits, and exotic animals. It is a land of wonder, in a world of drabness; a land that inspires, a land that gives, as well as takes away. The people there are tenacious, outgoing, and… oh my soups boiling over, BRB.
Okay, sorry about that, what was I talking about? Oh! Uncyclopedia… okay. So as I explore this great land I will fill this journal with all that I see, all that I experience. Dare I say this project will take up my whole life, but the internet is vast, changing, it is but the least I could do to make my mark on it.
And so I start, read on dear friend, read on.
edit Thrusday, Octaber 18th in her Majesty's year of 30, Century 1, Sans Internet. Location: Just inside the border of Uncyclopedia.
After breaking camp this morning, I began to walk toward the border of the great continent, to begin my journey. I finally came to it, but the path split two different ways. In the center of the fork was a sign, the sign had quite a bit of writing on it as well as a few crudely scratched pictures, most of the writing was in some cuneiform language, something I couldn’t understand. At the very tip-top of the sign was a picture and some writing that I did understand, as it was in plain and clear engililish.
I chose the path more travaled, as it was probably safer. Somthing tells me I'm into somthing good.
edit Wednesday Octweeber 19th in her Majesty's year of 30, Century 1, Sans Internet. Location: Transitive.
I decided this morning to not break camp, but instead to stay, and possibly get in a little pondering. So I sit and think, and the thought comes to mind as to why there is more then one kind of “Chex” Cereal. There are three in fact; rice, wheat, and corn, all good, all nutritious, but why the variety? There aren’t three kinds of Rice Krispy, you don’t see Corn Krispies, or Wheat Krispies. There are more then one type of Lucky Charm, but the folks who make it are kind enough to put it all in one box for me. Don’t know, I guess it’s one of those things that will be answered when “kingdom come” and all that.
edit Shoesday Octember 20th in her Majesty’s year of 30, Century 1, Sans Internet. Location: Her Majesty’s First Colony of Uncyclopedia.
I stumbled across a small colony today. An outpost dedicated to the Empire and something called The Order of Uncyclopedia.
A group of explorers, who call themselves members of this order, started and live in this fortress, and help travelers by giving them a bed for the night and a pot of boiled goslings to eat. Just a while ago they inducted me into their order, which I am now a proud member.
So now I sit in my borrowed bed, much more comfortable them my ratty old sleeping bag. I await my future.
edit Hailsday NO!vember 2nd in her Majesty’s year of 30, century 1, sans internet. Location: Whytee Emmendee
There are a great many ways in and out of this great continent.
I came upon an interesting “porthole“ while walking midday. Through this hole was another place entirely, I recognized it as the city Whytee Emendee, A great city of philosophy and art. Great tapestries are hung in it’s hallowed halls of learning. The people here are relatively peaceable, having the occasional argument about “What makes god so great?” or “Who really killed Dumbledore?”
Personally I enjoy this place; although it pales in comparison to the Empire, or her Majesty’s colonies, from which they declare independence. I’ll tell you one thing I hate about it though: Those stupid red stars.
edit Tuesday, Daycember 6th in her Majesty’s year of 30, Century 1, Sans Internet. Location: Unknown
A few days ago I hacked my way into a camp of men, explorers not unlike myself. I offered to make up a pot of coco, and we all sat around a fire and told tales of our troubles. They wove a tale of some unruly natives, people of primitive and war-like ways; they said that they had been fighting with these natives over something called a "euroipod." They said that it was a major relic in proving that the fabled land was real, and they needed to recover it to display in a museum back in the mother land.
I have decided that it was for a good enough cause that I would help them, and so tomorrow we go to battle, I hope my rifle and my heart are enough to thwart my enemies.
edit Wednesday, Detober 7th in her Majesty's year of 30, Century 1, Sans Internet. Location: The unruly native village.
In the name of the Queen, we have won back the Euroipod, and defeated the natives. May this precious artifact be coveted in a prestigious museum.
The battle was fierce, and many were lost on both sides, but the loss was necessary to the pursuit of knowledge. Inspired by the events I've done some
rough awesome sketches of some of the highlights, and will attach them.