User:Mr. Briggs Inc./Barney Hatin' Songs

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Note: This article is extremely violent. The squeamish should look away, or else go fatten yourselfs up on ice cream so Hitler can eat you.

Anti-Barney Songs are extremely popular songs with both adolescents, preteens, and intelligent people. Almost anyone who loves the "Barney and Fiends" television show might be inclined to sing one of these catchy tunes.


Joy To The World The Big Man's Dead

(Sung to the tune of "Joy To The World")

Joy to the world
The Barney is dead
We bar-becu-ed his head!
Don't worry 'bout the body,
I flushed it down the potty,
Round and round it goes,
Round and round it goes,

"Round and round and round and round it goes!"

Five years later, chewin' on his underwear
Wish he had another pair
Eaten by a polar bear!
Chewin' on his underwear
Nine years later, had another barbecue
I had to go to the restroom
I run up the stairs and look in the toilet
And there was Barney's head!
Joy to the world
That Barney's dead
We barbecued his head!
What happened to his body?
We flushed it down the potty
Round and round it goes like Indiana Jones
We watched it go round and round!

I Hate You

(Sung to the tune of "This Old Man")

I hate you
You hate me
I am going to kill Barney
There you see I fed him some lead
That was easy Barney's dead

Please don't cry
Just go die
It's time for us to say goodbye
if you want to see Barney more
Just hit T-rex the dinosaur
I hate you
You hate me
Let's tie Barney to a tree
With an M16 and a pistol full of lead
We just shot off Barney's head
I hate you
You hate me
Barney gave you H.I.V.
So we punched him in the balls and shot him in the head
Now that purple thing is dead
I hate you
You hate me
Lets all go and kill Barney
With a baseball bat
And a Four-by-Four
No more purple dinosaur
I hate you
You Hate Me
Let's tie Barney to a tree!
I'll get the match,
And you get the gas,
Let's go blow off Barney's ass..
I hate you
You hate me
We're a racist family
So let's kill that big, fat freak they call Barney
Then we will be more happy
I hate you, 
You hate me
Let's hang Barney from a tree
With a knife, and a gun, and a bullet through his head
Till that purple thing is dead
I hate you, 
You hate me
The ratel army killed Barney
With a gun and a tank and 12 atomic bombs
We're all glad that Barney's gone
I hate you,
You hate me
Lets tie Barnie to a tree
Stab him in the back shoot him in the head
Now the purple thing is dead
I hate you,
You hate me
Barney's taken ecstasy
There you see him,lying on the floor
Sorry kids - no more purple dinosaur
I hate you,
You hate me
I saw Godzilla kill Barney
With a fire blast that retard hit the floor
No more stupid dinosaur
I hate you,
You hate me
Barney's stung by a killer bee
And now he's lying dead on the floor
No more purple dinosaur
I hate you,
You hate me
Let's be friends and kill Barney
With a shotgun *BANG BANG*
Barney on the floor
No more purple dinosaur

I hate you,
You hate me
But let's get together and KILL Barney
With a great big bazooka 
We blow off his head
Sorry kids but Barney's dead
I hate you,
You hate me
Let's tie barney to a tree
With a great big slug 
A a diss from me and you
Won't you say you hate me too
I hate you,
You hate me,
Barney got stung by a killer bee,
And now he's lying dead on the floor,
No more purple dinosaur
I hate you,
You hate me,
Let's tie barney to a tree
With an axe to the back and a gun to the head
Pull the trigger Barney's dead

"I hate you," "You hate me" "Let's get together and kill Barney" "With my little brother's metal baseball bat" "Barney is dead, just like that"

On Top of Old Oakey

(Sung to the tune of "On Top Of Old Smokey")

On Top of a old Oakey
All covered in blood
I shot evil Barney
With a .500 stud
I went to his fun'ral
I went to his grave
Some people threw flowers
I threw a grenade
Now Sorry for Barney
all covered in red
And now you can all see
that Barney is dead
I dug up the body
and cloned the remains
And just for the pleasure
I killed him again

Deck the Halls

(A violent Christmas favorite)

Deck the Halls with bloody dino
See the nuke charge like a rhino
Barney's dead on Christmas day
Now There's nothing left to say
Evil mind controller's gone
His remains lay on the lawn
Now the world is safe again
No more counting one through ten
Barney's evil scheme is ruined
Now the studio is suin'
Oops! They ran out in less than an hour
Barney has lost all his power
Deck the halls with heads of Barney
Serves him right for being crummy
Now let's sing this song again
This song shall never end
* Repeat

Barney and Friends Theme Song (sung to the tune of Yankee Doodle)

Barney was a dinosaur
from our creation,
bomb him  nuke,
He'll die from radiation!
Barney was a dinosaur
From our imagination,
He stuck a pencil up his arse
And died from constipation!
Barney is our friend
created by genetic engineering,
saw a local piecering store
and picered himself with earrings.

Jingle Bells

(Another violent Christmas favorite)

Dashing through the snow
On a pair of broken skis
Downhill Barney goes
Crashing into trees
The snow is turning red
We think he's almost dead
Now let's go get a two-by-four and hit him on the head
Jingle Bells, shotgun shells
Purple dino's dead
We struck him with a two-by-four
And shot him in the head
Baby Bop, Baby Bop
Tried to save his life
But an action man from Pakistan
Stabbed her with a knife

Row Your Boat

(Especially fun around the campfire)

Row, row, row, your boat
gently down the stream
Throw Barney overboard
And listen to him scream
Seven days later
he rose from the dead
took a big ol' tommy gun
and shot him in the head


(Just for fun!)

A, B, C, D, E, F, G
Barney is my enemy!
Hit 'im with a piece of lead
Now we know that Barney's dead!
Now you know I hate Barney
Next time won't you sing with me!

Take Me Out to Kill Barney

(To the tune of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame"

Take me out to kill Barney
Take me out to his show
Get me a gun and a baseball bat
I don't care if you are too slow
And we'll shoot, shoot, shoot, to kill Barney
Until he hits the floor
For it's one, two, three, gunshots wounds
No more dinosaur


took hem to the doctor and the docter said
"oops, barneys dead
he got shot in the head
don't worry about the body
just flush it down the potty
and round and round it goes
naraly naraly naraly naraly thats all i knows


The first episode of "Barney and Fiends" aired on February 6, 1992. By February 7th, most of these songs were well known.

Though a full length CD has been planned, the music label is waiting for a significant number of related lawsuits to clear up. See below.

Legal Recourse

Many lawsuits have been started by both Barney and his producers, the Purple Nazi Production Company. Aka Hitler, Castro and Stalin inc. As with "Happy Birthday," any time you sing one of these songs in public, chances are good someone will hear you and file a lawsuit. And if you search Barney attacks, a chick was in a Barney costume doing a show, when a bunch of college dudes got drunk, came on stage, and started beating the S*** out of her she was in the hospital with a concussion. Seriously, google it.

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