From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Fan Fiction is a type of "writing style" which immediately makes you look like a loser at life. Despite a tempting idea to make one your own, let's avoid it and call it a day. You're not going to suceed, and creating one just lowers your self-importance and turn you into a mindless drone of Fandom. Just quit it already.
It was heard that the first fan fiction is the bible. It is about a man's fantasies about the ultimate creator God, Which can be considered a Mary-Sue of it's own. However, Many people view the main character of the bible, God, as the ultimate savior, which led to The fanbase known as Chrisianity.
Despite many later people consider it as a suefic, It has still solidified a fanbase of a hundred billion. This can be proven by most Americans being Christians, or fantards defending the bible fanbase.
Later fanfics appear in the post world war II period as television franchises such a Star Trek and Sonic start to appear. These fanfics pursue the ideals of modern life, such as Forbidden Love Styles, and God-Like Mary sues in a fail manner. Most fanfics since that time are considered a prime way to show your fantardness and teenage girl spirit, considering most fan fiction is written by mindless teenage girl drones.
In modern periods, Fan fiction is most likely corrupted. The sheer number of 12-year old girls basing their fics on fantasies of illegal sexual fetishes and forbidden man-child love, and the Fanboys who give poorly-organized criticism against fandoms that they consider as "Poison", has been made the fan fiction world a terrible place to contribute to, as well as giving an excellent place to troll with for 1337 hax0rs.
Almost all franchises are involved into the crap-fest known as fan fiction. However, here introduces the most seen fanfic prey for fantards to prey on. Watch with your own risk.
The sonic franchise has been torn apart by one of the worst fanbases available before the Horrid cancer of the internet that is My Little Pony, and it's fanfics are no exception. Sonic fanfics mainly rely on "Original" Characters with poorly made designs and god-llike powers engaging forbidden sexual practices with out of character canon characters only thinkable by the most insane of gay furries. The worst thing is that most sonic fanfics are created by the immature mind of a 12 year old pre-pubecent teenage girl, which still has no idea about true love practices. And most of them tend to be masturbating to rouge and amy rose Rule 34 while writing the sheer terror of their "Shadow's half-Brother" having a threesome with shadow himself and sonic. I'm not going to say anything; See it for yourself.
This fandom is not as worse as sonic, but it's close to the silver lining. It is populated by all sorts of lowly internet scum, such as 16 year old wapanese girls, Wapanese emos, 12 year old weeaboo boys, and Yaoi Fangirls which are as vicious as a swarm of killer bees. Naruto fanfics mainly rely on forbidden love practices and Impossible sexual positions, as well as dark fics of all things Gaara. When you read a naruto fanfic, the feeling is like the mind of a world war II japanese soldier possessing your brain in the form of a cancerous tumor with a huge spike protruding out of it. Not good. The original characters made by the "fans" are also godlike like anything else in the fanfic world, tragic backstories run rampant and they tend to have 1337 superpowers which are not even called "Ninja Skills", In truth it's just a huge pile of shit that proves the author, canon or fanon, had never saw a ninja before. You may want to wash your eyes with a properly written fanfic after watching one in order to cure your wapanese cancer; Too awful there is none.
Another prime target for suethors, The sheer number of Emos and Goths who disguise them as die-hard harry potter fans, as well as the franchise's power to create satanic orgies, had corroded the fandom since it's first episode. According to The magificent author and normal person J.K. Rowling; "I had never seen my creations mutilated and raped in such a horrifying way. I better pwn them with my 1337 fantards." most of these fanfics are, like previously said, is consisted of darkfics written by emos and goths that are about their original character pwning voldemort with his/her 1337 powers while he is about to cook harry for breakfast. it's one of the source of the worst fanfics; My immortal isn't called the worst fanfic without reason.
Writing Star Trek fanfiction is a favourite pastime in early modern life, and the first few fanfics are quite good. But star trek is the source of all the wretched scum in the fanfiction world for 1 reason; It is the birthplace of the first Mary sue which is called......Mary Sue. She is a 15 year old lieutenant which is so 1337 that she eventually engaged man-child love with captain kirk. Even the creators are suethors themselves; An example is Wesley crusher, which is a kid who can save the whole ship by himself, and posesses 1337 powers next to no one. The later original characters are so crappy that they are nearly redeemless; An example is an asian using a katana which can splice dimensions (the author has been pwnt). overall the star trek fanbase has the worst sues; but it is defintely not the worst fanbase.
Pokemon fanfics are not the worst, but it's fandomness is next to no one. Pokemon fanfics are consisted of several generes; DarkFics, Suefics and masturbatory stuff. Darkfics are the ones written by emos and goths, which feature hot sexing between trainers and their tortured-in-the-past gardevoir or eevee while they remember their painful past, as well as a trainer attempting to escape from a painful past where team galatic had sex with their mom. Suefics Usually consists of ash-like shit, in which a trainer called ash/ashley/or any variant of "Ash" starts out their pokemon adventure then proceeds to capture Arceus and defeat a Hitler-like evil overlord that wants to rule the world and kill all humans. Masturbatory stuff is the ones that people masturbate to, like Dawn/May/Gardevoir breast expansion that sickens non-fetishists, or simply the authors wet dreams, such as Brendan having sex with may, or the author getting swallowed by Reshiram. They can also be Furry.
These 3 types of fanfics can be stacked with each other, or simply all 3 types in one. seriously, Calling a dark/sue/mastubatory fic terrible is a sore understatement.
Realityfics are the ones whose background is set in reality, such as in world war II. This is usually an excuse for an emo/goth in order to make himself more attractive, smart and appealing to others, not knowing they are just to stupid to realize that they are naive that thinking Hitler will marry them instead of cooking them for jew juice. There is a rare occasion that Fanfic writers will not self insert, but instead they will write about reality warp or time travel; usually these are the only one who do well but they are somehow cliched.
My little pony in my fanfics, seriously? don't laugh, though, as My little pony is the new Trend and sign of 1337ness of the internet! It has the worst fanbase that is ever concieved into the post World War II periods, and If you think the fantards are 6-year old girls, think again! They
are were full grown men that have the mind of a six-year old girl, and their minds are now equal to 6-year old girls due to excessive bronification. The situation is equal to a six-year old girl writing a fanfic; The result is a giant pony shaped tumor that is equal to the size of 2/3 of the internets. You WILL DEFINTELY NOT want to witness this horror yourself; Any sane person who saw it has became into a brony or are just outright dead, only to raise back from the dead as a 6 year old retard.
The following is the roles of the fanficton world. Proceed to stare in horror as you get hooked by the fluttershy above until you can declare yourself a gay brony.
16 year old girls
16 year old girls are one of the most purtrid spewers of all low-quality fanfiction. The lowest tier of the internet food chain, They are desperate of finding a method to increase their self ego, so they toss themselves into all sorts of fandoms and contaminating it by creating "one true copules" and creating self-insertion sues in the process. The Sonic and Naruto fandom is just several of the victims, and if you think the infestation is bad for these two,There are just Several fandoms such as Twilight and Harry Potter which is entirely consisted by these internet maggots right next to you. The worst thing you can do is to give useful criticism; As you will activitate the beehive of 16-year-old girls and you might die due to excessive flaming. Give them some trolling instead.
12 year old boys
The male equavilent of the 16 year old girl, these non-human invaders are the source of all poorly-made fetishfics and original characters. they are similiar to the 16 year old girl in contaminating fandoms, but they are more into poorly made fetish fanfics and masculine gary stus. it is heard that 12 year old boys compose the bulk of the pokemon and sonic fandoms, where they create crudely-made may and dawn breast expansion/prenancy/rape fanfics and amy rose sexing with rouge the bat. Again, the prevention method is similiar to the 16 year old girl, but they are much more fragile and come in fewer numbers. Due to their fraility, they are also prone to moralfagging.
One of the true terrors of the internets, these cancerous tumors are the spewer of all darkfics. Any fandom they touch will spew a big black tumor which causes the fandom to become dark and emo with crudely made creeypasta and darkfics which nobody fears like they expected. They usually speak in txtspeak and spam emoticons As well. They had established true dominance over the harry potter and twilight fandoms, and other fandoms had been infected by these tumors of darkness. An infected fandom will worship all things dark and satanic like a mass orgy out of control, while writing crapfics about Dumbledore having sex with harry while moaning their dark past thinking it is cute. Just like bronies you do not want to experience such a terror of the internet with your very eyes.
Critics are one of the worst thing you will encounter when writing a fanfic. Most of these losers are fandomentalist fanboys; their arrogance and sheer persistency is the bane of all fanfic writers. One day you found a good idea writing a fanfic, completed it, and the next day you find a email saying; "Hello, this is <critic>. Your fanfic is a pile of trash. If you really watched the pokemon anime, Giovanni's persian is very loyal to him, so it will not join anybody else. Also, Your character is a godlike piece of dog turd, or mary-sue in short. How can someone in the pokemon series use a katana which can shoot lasers? Now read it twice and rewrite this pile of dog turd completely. Have a nice day." And you will really want to go hang on a rope just to regret yourself from doing it. there are several critics who care, but they are usually pwnt by a beehive of fangirls and ragequit.
Everyone else hate your fanfics in a general. In fact, they hate it because it sucks, and it is true. They just want you to write properly and be a normal person. You may ignore them as you want but you will be considered as a huge faggot and a loser at life. Also, the game.
WARNING: THE SECTION BELOW MIGHT CAUSE SIEZURES OF YOUR BRAIN. ALSO, MY IMMORTAL.
Do you still ignore it?
OK. Here you go.
AN: prepz stup flaming da story ur jus jelous so fuk u ok go 2 hel!11 raven fagz 4 di help!
Well we had Deviation next so I got to ask Proffessor Trevolry about the visions.
“Konnichiwa everybody come in.” said Proffesor Sinister in Japanese. She smelled at me with her gothic black lipstick. She’s da coolest fucking teacher ever. She had long dead black hair with blood red tips and red eyes. (hr mom woz a vampire. She’s also haf Japanese so she speaks it and everyfing. she n b’loody mry get along grate) She’s really young for a teacher. 2day she was wearing a black leather top with red lace and a long goffik black ripped dress. We went inside the black classroom with pastors of Emily the Strong. I raced my hand. I was wearing some black naie Polish with red pentagrams on it.
“What is it Ebony?” she asked. “Hey I love ur nail polish where’d u get it, Hot Topik?”
“Yeah.” I answered. All the preps who didn’t know what HT was gave me weird looks. I gave them the middle finger. “Well I have to talk to you about some fings. When do you want to due it?”
“Ho about now?” she asked.
“OK.” I said.
“OK class fucking dismissed every1.” Proffesor Trevolry said and she let every1 go. “Except for you Britney.” she pointed at Britney and sum other preps. “Please do exorcize (geddit) 1 on page 3.”
“OK I’m having lotz of visions.” I said in a worried voice. I’m so worried is Draco gong 2 die.
Well she gave me a black cryptal ball to lock in. I looked at it.
“What do you c?” she asked.
“I said I see a black gothic skull and a pentagram.”
Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I looked at it. It was Draco. He was looking really sexy wearing a black leather facet, a black gothic Linkin Park t-shirt and blak Congress shoes.
“Okay you can go now, see ya cunt.” said Proffesor Sinister.
“Bye bitch.” I said waving.
I went to Draco and Vampire was sitting next to him. We both followed Draco together and I was so exhibited.
JUST FUCK IT OUT ALREADY!
What you can do to help
First, write properly. seriously. There are several methods to write properly;
Find a less stagant topic. Shit in the above sections had been done to death and please don't let the shit rot all over and over just like spraying perfume on a rotting corpse just to make it less stagant. It's not going to have any effect at all. Find something innovative to write.
Plot your characters carefully. There's no point of making a character god-like or emo and dark. It's just boring, and it's as previously said, stagant. Just use your common sense, with some deep thinking, and you can write a good character. If you are writing a pokemon fanfic, Don't make your character use any dark-type, gardevoir and eevee. (or any related stuff.) some stuff, like sonic, just refrain from it. This also applies for anything else.
Your plot is also important. The dark past/classic saving the world/one true couple plot has been stagant. Try saving the world in a new method, like a fanfic about the internet where the pokemon forces beat out the ponies, or just make a blatantly nonsencial fanfic. they'll like it more than some cliched plot story.
Secondly, don't give a fuck to the fangirls. By not giving a fuck i mean don't give constructive criticism. By not giving constructive criticism you can save yourself a flamewar to deal and not feeding the fangirls with yourself. Just outright troll them by making a parodyfic or simply spam them with a sockpuppet. Or you can just not give a fuck and run away.